Julio Quotes in Machete (2010)

Julio: We just wanna help, bro.

Machete: I don't need you help.

Julio: If not us, then who?

Julio: Hey, Lester my man. Ouch. Who got over on you, bro?

Pimp Lester: Some puta who's forwarding address is gonna be in ten different zip codes, all of them dumpsters.

Julio: [after Lester takes his gun] Hey, a royal flush put her in my pocket.

Pimp Lester: Three hundred cold puts her in mine.

Joey Gazelle: Hey, you Manny?

Julio: Manny? Nah. He's upstairs. What you want with him?

Joey Gazelle: Business.

Julio: If he owes you any money, forget about it. I just cleaned the cabron out.

Joey Gazelle: Remember me?

Julio: Who in the fuck are you?

Joey Gazelle: You got something that belongs to me; a snub nose .38. You just scored it off of Manny in a card game. I need it back.

Bette: How do you get rid of this jet lag?

Nancy Pryor: You just do. Why you still tired in the mornings?

Bette: Uh-huh.

Nancy Pryor: Give it a couple of months.

Bette: Hey, do we have a sexy crew tonight?

Nancy Pryor: I don't check anymore.

Bette: in any case, it'll be a change from Ogallala, Kansas.

Nancy Pryor: Isn't everything?

Julio: There. You see why I love my job so much?

Gary: Well they sure have all the right equipment.

Julio: But it would be wrong that's for sure!

Nancy Pryor: How are your kids and your wife, Julio?

Julio: Watch out for that one Gary. She's got seniority.

Gary: What about the teenager?

Bette: It's Ms. Teenager please. I'm emancipated and highly skilled in Kung Fu.

Urias: Checklist.

Julio: Windshield heat?

Urias: A-ok. Safe from all kinds of flying birdies.

Julio: [In reference to Bette] Except young flying quale...

Bette: You're a disgrace to your race, do you know that?

Julio: [Slamming Alvin against Ramundo's car] Your brother fucked us!

Ramundo: What the fuck are you doing? This is my fucking car man! This is my baby.

Julio: Sorry.

[Slamming Alvin against the wall]

Julio: Your brother fucked us!

Ramundo: So, Stevie's fucking my girl right?

Alvin: Well I think that's a point you're going to have to take with Stevie.

Julio: Well maybe Stevie isn't around to make a...point with anyone.

Ramundo: What the fuck are you saying?

Julio: I'm saying that Stevie didn't show.

Ramundo: Well just say it! Stop being so fucking complex!

Julio: I'm not complex, you're complex!

Alvin: Listen guys, do I have to be around for this?

Julio, Ramundo: Shut up!

Walt Shannon: Julio , go on inside. And check who is inside.

Julio: Alright, Walt. There is nobody in there but the bartender. He peed on himself in the back.

Walt Shannon: Come on over here you. What's your name?

Bartender Tom: [nervously answers] Tom.

Walt Shannon: Do you know who I am , Tom?

Bartender Tom: Yes sir, Mr. Shannon.

Walt Shannon: Well, these are a couple of "friends" of mine, Tom. This here is Boise. He's a back-shooter and a whiner but he will kill you dead.

Boise: Yeah! I could do that!

Walt Shannon: And this here now, that Julio. Julio like to sing but you probably don't want to hear him sing now do you, Tom?

Bartender Tom: No, no, no sir. I don't need to hear him sing. That's fine.

Walt Shannon: You got a Marshall or a Sheriff around here, Tom?

Bartender Tom: That be Jordan Yarnell. He's only temporary.

Walt Shannon: You probably right about that, Tom. Now I want you to find me this, temporary sheriff. You tell him. That Walt Shannon is over here waiting for him. I also want you to tell him , he's got kin of mine in that jail of his! And that I want to inquire as to "visitation" rights.

Boise: [spits out his drink because he's laughing] Gee, that's funny, Walt!

Walt Shannon: No, it ain't!

Boise: You're right. It ain't funny at t'all.

Frank Morgan: Shannon!

Walt Shannon: [Julio cocks his rifle] Stop!

Julio: What's the matter?

Walt Shannon: I know that voice.

Boise: Well, who is it?

Frank Morgan: Hey Walt! Get your ass out here!

Walt Shannon: Morgan.

Boise: Frank Morgan? Jesus, Walt! You never said...

Walt Shannon: Shut up!... I wonder what he's doing here?

Frank Morgan: What are you doing in there Shannon, playing with yourself?

Walt Shannon: [approaches the bar doors very cautiously and slowly and appears vampire-like as he opens the doors] What do you say Frank? Been a long time.

Walt Shannon: [Shannon comes out with his hands up and Boise & Julio come out behind him and spread out to encircle Morgan] What are you doing here Frank?

Frank Morgan: Standing in for Yarnell.

Walt Shannon: Standing in huh?... You all by yourself Frank?... You don't look to good... Someone get mad at you Frank?

Frank Morgan: Come on Walt, let's get this over with.

Walt Shannon: This here is... Frank Morgan fellas.

Kristen Yarnell: [Kristen, Linda and Spud arrive in the background] Mom, why is he...

Linda Yarnell: Be still, Kristen. Be still and watch.

Walt Shannon: Frank will be standing in for Yarnell... But he's having a little trouble... just standing... Ain't that right , Frank?

Frank Morgan: Why don't I get rid of this...

Walt Shannon: Why don't you do... just that...

Frank Morgan: [drops the rifle so Acosta can start shooting but Morgan realizes that Acosta didn't see him do it and he's on his own against all 3 villains] Hmmm...

Frank Morgan: [stares at Shannon who stares at Boise who then stares at Morgan, who in turn looks at Julio who in turn looks at Shannon who in turn looks at Morgan and it's the moment of truth in which there is no turning back] Sighs...

Boise: [Shannon draws but Morgan is quicker and shoots him and Julio but Shannon manages to shoot Frank and Morgan shoots him again while Acosta finally shoots in the air no less and Boise was just about to shoot Frank but his gun breaks] Bullshit! The gun broke open! There's no bullets! There's no bullets, no gun! I didn't mean it! It was a mistake! Don't shoot! I quit!

Spud Walker: [Morgan fires 2 shots and kills Boise who crashes through a store window] Sweet Jesus!

Julio: Can I call you Dad?

Rebecca: Did you kill anyone?

Julio: Not with my bare hands.

Julio: [after giving the Lieutenant drugs] Shit's gonna kill you, man!

The Lieutenant: What the fuck are you? A drug counsellor... or a drug dealer? If you don't deal your own product, what kind of businessman are you?

Julio: [subtitled version] There are really bad people round there.They say one thing and they mean another.You never know who you're dealing with.You don't even know who you're bringing into your home.