Gloria Cleary Quotes in Wedding Crashers (2005)

Jeremy Grey: Do you know what that awareness is, Gloria?

Gloria Cleary: What?

Jeremy Grey: That we're all one. That separateness is an illusion, and that I'm one with everyone - with the Prime Minister of England, and my cousin Harry, you and me, the fat kid from 'What's Happening,' the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman, the guy who wrote 'Catcher in the Rye,' Nat King Cole, Carrot Top, Jay-Z, Weird Al Yankovic, Harry Potter, if he existed, the whore on the street corner, your mother. We're all one.

[to impress Gloria, Jeremy has been making balloon models for the children]

Gloria Cleary: You're good.

Jeremy Grey: I'm just warming up. Last week I did an exact replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field. Honest to God. I don't have anywhere to put it.

Gloria Cleary: OK then, I'll take a sports car.

Jeremy Grey: How about a dance?

Gloria Cleary: That's what I really wanted.

[Gloria is treating Jeremy's badly cut leg]

Jeremy Grey: Oh Jesus Christ, it burns.

Gloria Cleary: Poor baby.

Jeremy Grey: It stings.

Gloria Cleary: You want me to blow on it?

Jeremy Grey: [thinking it's a blow job] No! No! I don't need any blowing.

Gloria Cleary: Jeremy... I'm not wearin' any panties. Let's rock!

[Gloria spins her hair around]

Jeremy Grey: Ok. Ok. That was nice. I don't understand what's going on. It's like, eight hours ago you were a shy little virgin, and now you're not wearing any panties. I'm just trying to catch up with you here.

Gloria Cleary: You do that to me? Ooh...

[she grabs Jeremy's crotch]

Gloria Cleary: Where's my little friend? Where's my little friend?

Jeremy Grey: [panicking] He's tired! He's tired! He's in time-out! He's in time-out!

Father O'Neil: And now for our next reading I'd like to ask the bride's sister Gloria up to the lectern.

John Beckwith: 20 bucks, First Corinthians.

Jeremy Grey: Double or nothing, Colossians 3:12.

Gloria Cleary: And now a reading from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians.

Jeremy Grey: [Trying to have sex on the bathroom toilet] Gloria please I'm exhausted, I've had a very long day I had your sister's boyfriend dry hump me up and down the field all afternoon my leg's cut and bleeding I'm really not in the mood for this

Gloria Cleary: [Slaps his open wound] JESUS CHRIST

Gloria Cleary: My father warned me about people like you Jeremy, I'm just another notch on your belt

Jeremy Grey: What are you talking about? It's not like that

Gloria Cleary: [about to spray rubbing alcohol on his wound] Then what's it like Jeremy?

Jeremy Grey: [Panicking] NO WAIT I just feel very strongly that we're starting only to expressing ourselves in a physically sexual specifically way and I just want to play some "catch-up" on finding who's inside here

[pointing to his heart]

Gloria Cleary: Jeremy, you're amazing

Jeremy Grey: I think you're amazing

Gloria Cleary: Don't "ever" leave me

Jeremy Grey: Ever

Gloria Cleary: Good. Because I'd find you

Jeremy Grey: Gloria, I've been doing a lot of soul searching recently, and I think I'm ready to take this relationship, our relationship to the next level.

Gloria Cleary: Jeremy, I am so ready to take it to the next level.

Jeremy Grey: Really?

Gloria Cleary: Yeah. Do you want to watch me with another girl? How about those Brazilian twins we met at the ball game?

Jeremy Grey: I was thinking more along the lines of an engagement.

Gloria Cleary: [Overwhelmed with emotion and happiness. Ecstatic] Oh Jeremy, I do!

Jeremy Grey: I love you.

Gloria Cleary: I love you.

[Jeremy wakes up in the middle of the night to find Gloria on top of him rubbing her nipples on his face and tying his hands and feet to the bed with rope]

Gloria Cleary: I've been thinking about what you said and I think the problem is that I'm not being adventurous enough for you.

Jeremy Grey: Gloria, I'm pretty sure that is *not* what I've been saying to you.

Gloria Cleary: [seductively] Baby, I'm going to make all your fantasies come true.

Jeremy Grey: But this is not fantasy...

[He mumbles and moans as she gags him with his sock, then starts squirming]

Gloria Cleary: [softly crying] I love you.

Gloria Cleary: Ah! That was amazing.

Jeremy Grey: Yeah, it was really great. We should probably head back so they're not looking for us.

Gloria Cleary: I always knew my first time would be on a beach.

Jeremy Grey: [stunned] First time? You're a virgin?

Gloria Cleary: Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Grey: Wow.

Gloria Cleary: Jeremy, we are going to be so happy together. I love you.

Jeremy Grey: [bewildered] I'm sorry?

Gloria Cleary: I love you.

[last lines]

Claire Cleary: We're a folk singing group from Salt Lake City.

Gloria Cleary: Yeah!

Jeremy Grey: Yes, we are.

[Gloria and Claire throw up their arms and scream like rock fans at a concert]