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Dudley Quotes:

  • Abar: You black politicians don't give a damn about what's happenin' with the black mans' needs.

    Dudley: I feel that there's a political solidarity for the good of the blacks well represented blacks on City Hall.

    Abar: Not there, man, but here. What we want is you politicians to come into our homes, our neighborhood, see and listen to our cries. Not sit up there at City Hall and space capital, listen to the echo from the ghetto. Like, that ain't doin' us no good, man. See what do we from here.

    B.F.U. Secretary: Like most others, you have your 35 or 40,000 dollar a year job. Your kid's in a private school and two or three cars in your driveway.

  • Dudley: Only seconds left, Holmes. I assume you've given up.

    Sherlock Holmes: Never assume anything, my good fellow.

    Dudley: But Holmes, I see no sign of a trophy.

    Sherlock Holmes: But I do.

    [picks up a vase and prepares to shatter it]

    Master Snelgrove: Stop! Holmes, have you gone mad? This is an antique!

    [Holmes shatters the vase, revealing the stolen trophy]

  • Dudley: I want to enlist in the army. A general.

    Dudley's Friend: Generals don't make any money. I would prefer to be an author.

    Dudley: Authors don't make money.

    Boy: I want to be a barrister.

    Dudley's Friend: Barristers make money.

  • John Watson: Dudley is going to pay dearly for this. Punch to the jaw, jab to the ribs...

    Sherlock Holmes: Now, now, Watson. Revenge is sweetest when it's served up cold. Come on.

    [Dudley enters with snow-white hair]

    Dudley: Holmes. You did this. You're responsible, aren't you?

    Sherlock Holmes: So that's where I dropped my chemistry experiment: into your tea. Oh, don't worry, old chap. It'll wear off shortly. You should be back to normal - by summertime.

  • [Over dinner, the student are discussing what they will do in later life]

    John Watson: I want to be a doctor.

    Dudley: Nobody asked you!

    John Watson: Sorry!

  • Dudley: [Dudley is calling his mother from Tubby's] Mother?

    Dudley's Mother: Dudley?

    Dudley: Mother, I am calling you to tell you I will be out rather late tonight. In point of fact, I might not be in at all.

    Dudley's Mother: [looks around] You're not in bed, dear.

    Dudley: Mother, I have a assignation with a young lady. I am going to explore the boundaries of my manhood. Mother, I am going to get laid.

    Dudley's Mother: You're going to be a little late.

    Dudley: Not late, mother, laid; the past participle of the verb 'to lay'. Mother, I am going to screw someone.

    [she faints, he hangs up]

    Dudley: Now I just have to figure out how.

  • Dudley: Don't hurt me! I think I may be a bleeder!

  • Dudley: [wheezing] We're going to... to go to... to Watts at two o'clock in the morning?

    [takes a hit off his inhaler, subtly drops it, calmly]

    Dudley: Let's go!

  • Mrs. Freidman: [after Dudley, whose stripped of his outfit and glasses, wanders upon Mrs. Freidman and Nevans half naked] Nevans, get my clothes!

    Dudley: Look! We're all in our underwear!

  • Dudley: You have no idea what the competition is like just to be sent down here.

  • Dudley: Cooking butt-biscuits and pulling the covers over your head is NOT an intestinal disorder.

  • Dudley: Ever take a dump naked?

    Chester: I sleep naked.

    Dudley: It's liberating.

    Adam Dynes: Ah, good to hear the usual intellectual banter.

  • Dudley: Sometimes angels rush in where fools fear to tread.

  • Dudley: The world changes, but two things remain constant... Youth and Beauty. They're really one in the same thing.

    Julia Brougham: Yes. The trouble is, people grow old.

    Dudley: Not everybody. The only people who grow old were born old to begin with.

  • Henry Brougham: I was praying for a cathedral.

    Dudley: No, Henry. You were praying for guidance.

  • Henry Brougham: Are you expecting a letter?

    Dudley: Well, you never know. If I did get one, the stamp would certainly be worth saving.

  • Prof. Wutheridge: God bless you!

    Dudley: Thank you! I'll pass that recommendation along.

  • Julia Brougham: Oh Dudley, I never know when you are joking.

    Dudley: Ah, I am at my most serious when I'm joking.

  • Henry Brougham: Dudley, if we should need you again, will you come back?

    Dudley: Not I. I shall ask to be assigned to the other end of the Universe.

    Henry Brougham: Is that because I was so difficult?

    Dudley: Oh, no. This difficulty was in me. When an Immortal finds himself envying the Mortal he is entrusted to his care, it's a danger signal. Take her in your arms and hold her tight.

    [Coming]

    Dudley: Kiss her for me, you lucky Henry!

  • Dudley: Supposing I told you I came from another planet. Would you believe me?

    Prof. Wutheridge: I don't know.

    Julia Brougham: I'd believe you, Dudley.

    Dudley: And you'd be right, Julia, as always. We all come from our own little planets. That's why we're all different. That's what makes life interesting.

  • Dudley: Oh! How do you do, Miss Garrett?

    Georgia Garrett: Greetings, chum!

    Dudley: My, we haven't seen you, let's see now, since you didn't go to Switzerland.

    Georgia Garrett: Yeah, I got a big kick out of planning that trip. What looks good this time of year?

    Dudley: How about the Canadian Rockies?

    Georgia Garrett: Canadian Rockies? Don't you remember? I already haven't been there!

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