Dale Quotes in Ant-Man (2015)

Dale: Baskin-Robbins always find out.

Dale: This plan is stupid. Let's just leave town now.

Dallas: 'Cause we're not going to make it out of town without weapons, dickhead. You're too stupid to talk, Dale. Shut up.

Ricky: Give me my keys.

Dale: [throws Ricky's key into the sewer drain] If you can find 'em in less then 30 minutes, asshole.

Dale: Time to be heroes!

[Swerves the truck and attempts to knock Jack and Natalee into the guard rail]

Dale: So, the Genghis Kahn treasure rumor is true, Mort.

Mort Fowler: I'll say it's true.

[he indicates an ancient Chinese junk stranded on dry land]

Mort Fowler: That crate's been moored there for seven hundred years.

Mort Fowler: Find anything?

Lowry: Nothing but rags and dust so far.

Dale: You think the treasure's in this place?

Mort Fowler: If it ain't, there's a clue to tell us where it is. Nobody knows about this place but us. There'll be plenty of time to search.

Dale: Not now you haven't. That's why the Chief sent me out here.

Mort Fowler: What do ya mean?

Dale: That new land bill has been passed and signed. As soon as Andy Knight finishes that link to the Al-Can Highway, this territory will be thrown open to the homesteaders.

Mort Fowler: You mean someone is liable to find the treasure before we do and stake a claim on it?

Dale: That's right. So, the Chief says we gotta delay the road work

Mort Fowler: "Secret of treasure in altar - Cave of a Thousand Tunnels" Say, what does this mean "secret of treasure in altar..." Isn't the treasure there?

Dale: Belanco doesn't think so. He thinks that we'll find directions there. So we should locate the treasure very soon now.

Mort Fowler: We'll have to, if it's going to do any good. That blasted Mountie got wise that we were going to hijack the powder truck and he put the kibosh on it.

Dale: So we didn't completely wreck the Al-Can Highway and it's got to be done!

Mort Fowler: Or else the homesteaders will come swarming in on us and we'll lose out on the treasure.

Roper: [singing] Well, I'm Rope a Dope. A proud Cherokee. I stay busy chopping girls' cherry trees. I'll show you my buns if the booze is free. Hands on the wheel and fondue my cheese. Hey, ladies, please pass me another. I'm not a rubber lover glover, I don't need no love buffer. I'ma do like Pete Ward and go undercover. Make a sister leave a brother. We goin' make a little trouble.

McReynolds: [exhales, speaking] You're the new guy?

Dale: [resuming song] Dale Douglas! Flier than a Cutlass Supreme. Southeast Texas Cherokees. We the team. Finn, me, and Coma. We got Mac in between. Number one position player. Make these girls wanna scream. Wakin' up in a dream. Lucid so sweet. We make you toothless. To put it plain and simple. We the cream of the crop. Cherokees are never leavin'... Douglas.

Willoughby: My name is Wiiloughby. I know the master plan. I got the sun and the stars in the palm of my hand. Carl Sagan knows the universe is eternal. I'm gonna burn this down till my brain's a kernel.

Finnegan: Dr. Finnegan, so epicurean. Indulge in the BMOC. There's only one thing bigger than my IQ. And it stops around my knee. Let me drop a Finnegism and make a Finnegasm. Expand the universe. Make it shudder and spasm. 'Cause when you party like a savage. Speak like a poet. You cha-chao before you even know it.

Brumley: [rapping in fast monotone] Hey, guys. The name's Alex Brumley. I'm gonna break it to you fresh. All the guys around here punch me. 'Cause they know that I'm the best. It's my first days of college. I'm just trying to fit in. So won't you come with me and please be my friend? Please?

Nesbit: Brumley, shut the fuck up!

[sings]

Nesbit: Now, I'm Nesbit. No shame with no game. I'm throwing money down the drain like no thing. The best in a-gambling. Nesbit's a-rambling. Submarine pitch. And the Mac can't handle it. Cherokee chow. Coo-coo-capow in Texas. With the cactus and cows. Amityville? More like Amity-vile. Sick to the bone but we come with style.

Coma: So they call Coma. Told the girl "hop on." Throwing cheers to my boys. 'Cause I'm a superstitious fella. Known to get a little drunk. But I'm here to make some noise.

Jay: Master plan for a higher man. Do it all wrong. Don't fuck it up to make it all right. Drink my cup. Schlong as long as the Nile's bong. Hit it, bitch, I'm 95 strong. I'm the raw dog. Rawest of raw. Four screwdrivers. One fat straw, baby!

Plummer: My name's Tyrone but they call me Plum. I call the whole game but they call me dumb. Beer for breakfast. My Cap'n Crunch. Spread your girl's legs and then I have lunch.

Dale: Do some of your friends take medication?

Allison: Why?

Dale: Because I think they forgot to take it.

Dale: You thought I looked like some kind of freak?

Allison: We misjudged you Dale. I'm... I'm really sorry.

Dale: Don't be sorry, it's my fault. I should have known if a guy like me talked to a girl like you, somebody would end up dead.

Tucker: All right... I know what this is.

Dale: What?

Tucker: This is a suicide pact.

Dale: It's a what?

Tucker: These kids are coming out here, and killing themselves all over the woods.

Dale: My God, that makes so much sense.

Dale: [after a spear lands between his legs] I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad I'm not hung like a bear.

Dale: [the sheriff is stumbling around with a nail board through his skull] How is he even walking right now, Tuck?

Tucker: He looks like he's gonna walk it off, he's gonna be fine!

Dale: [Allison is terrified of him when he first comes into her room] Uh-oh-oh, it's the pancakes! You don't like pancakes, I will get you sumpin' else!

Tucker: [hands him a nail gun] Cover me.

Dale: I ain't never shot at nobody before.

Tucker: If it helps, think of 'em like moving two-by-fours.

Dale: [after seeing Tucker's fingers wrapped in his shirt] Oh my God, they cut off his bowling fingers!

Dale: You want a killer hillbilly? I'll show you a killer hillbilly.

Allison: What was that?

Dale: Anthemis nobilis

Allison: Huh?

Dale: It's the ingredient in camomile tea that causes allergic reactions in rare cases... like I said, I remember weird stuff.

Chad: It's time for you to feel *my* pain!

Dale: I'm ready, frat bitch!

Tucker: What am I supposed to say, Dale? "Oh hidy ho officer! We've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house when kids started killing themselves all over my property."

Dale: Yeah, yeah, just like that.

Tucker: They're never gonna believe that.

Dale: But that's exactly what happened!

Dale: [when going for the last beer] That's okay Tuck. You take that. It's yours.

Tucker: See that's why you're never gonna get ahead in life. It's cause you don't stick up for yourself.

Dale: [Dale reaching for last beer, Tucker smacks Dale's hand] "OW!"

Tucker: Do not even think about it.

Dale: But you just said...

Tucker: Are you kidding me?

Dale: [Tucker smacks Dale's hand] "OW!"

Tucker: Are you serious?

[snaps open beer top]

Tucker: What'd I just say?

Dale: You said I gotta stick up for myself.

Tucker: I said "don't even think about it, though" That was the last thing I said.

Dale: That's a PBR Buddy.

Tucker: That, that's a thing of beauty.

Tucker: [Dale is attracted to one of the college co-eds at the gas station, but hesitates to try to go talk to her] She's just human. Why don't you go over and talk to her?

Dale: Talk to her? What... What in the world would I say?

Tucker: I don't know... Tell her that you got a vacation home. That'll probably impress her.

Dale: Are you out of your mind, Tucker? They're college girls, and they grew up with vacation homes and guys like me fixing their toilets!

Tucker: You've gotta' have some faith in yourself, man. Girls can *smell* fear. Now, come on! You are a good lookin' man... more or less. You got a damned good heart. I mean, that's two things right there. Now go on, get over there! What... what's the worst that could happen?

Dale: I told you, Tucker. I'm a zero with the ladies... they hate my face!

Chad: It's time for you to feel my pain!

Dale: Bring it, frat bitch!

Allison: I have this stupid dream...

Dale: Dreams are not stupid.

Tucker: You know something, Dale? She's just human. Why don't you go over there and talk to her?

Dale: Talk to her? What? What in the world would I say?

Tucker: I don't know. Tell her that you got a vacation home, that'd probably impress her.

Dale: Are you out of your mind, Tucker? These are college girls. Okay? They grew up in vacation homes and guys like me fixing their toilets.

Tucker: You gotta have faith in yourself, man. Girls can smell fear. Now, come on. You are a good looking man. More or less, you got a damn good heart. I mean, that's two things right there.

Dale: You want a killer Hillbilly? I'll show you a killer Hillbilly.

Dale: How you feelin'?

Tucker: I am feeling high on prescription medication.

Dale: You know how there are, like, serial killers, and then there's Hannibal Lecter?

Trevor: Yeah?

Clyde: There are girls, and then there's Regan.

Dale: You know, we could run away from here. We could live someplace else.

Kantmiss Evershot: Like where?

Dale: Anywhere that's better than here. Darfur, Syria, New Jersey...

Dale: [Dale's first line, right before breaking into Russ's store] Alright, let's do this cocksucker!

Dale: [later, after being caught by the police, to policeman] Let me just ask you one question Your Honor, where's my bat?

Dale: Unfortunately Russell we have a new wrinkle in the situation.

Russ: Oh really? What's the wrinkle?

Dale: Basically I had to play pinata with Jerry the bookie's skull. See, that sort of ups the invoice a little.

Russ: Is he okay?

Dale: No, he's dead.

Russ: Oh! Oh, God!

Dale: Give me the money Russ.

Russ: Great, Gig. We gotta talk about this.

Dale: I'll fuckin' ball-bat you, you creep cocksucker!

Russ: Okay, okay. Okay.

Dale: [leaving, picks up bottle in curiosity] Mint Listerine?

Russ: Yeah.

Dale: When did they come out with this?

Russ: I don't know.

Dale: Is it good?

Russ: Yeah, it's good.

Dale: She's licking his bosom.

Dale: Kirby! How are you?

Kirby: I'm obsessed thank you very much.

Andrew: She's not like that.

Dale: Like what, normal?

Andrew: Like you.

Dale: Let me tell you something Andy, they're *all* like me.

Dale: You know, Lady Francis, there's not enough kindness in the world.

Dale: Listen to that, Francis. The swing bands used to be all straight tonics seventh chords. And then, with the Basie band I heard Lester Young and he sounded like he came out of the blue. Because he was playing all the color tones the sixths and the ninths and major sevenths. You know, like Debussy and Ravel. Then Charlie Parker came on and he began to expand and he went into elevenths and thirteenths and flat fives. Luckily, I was going in the same direction already. You just don't go out and pick a style off a tree one day. The tree is inside you growing naturally.

Dale: Well, this establishment has never been known for its... conviviality.

Dale: Ben, just one vin rouge.

Ben: Buttercup says no.

Dale: Buttercup is really not my mother. Come on, man!

Ben: Makes you sick, Dale.

Dale: Not good wine. Just don't serve me that stuff you serve your customers.

Dale: They're always paying all the wrong people in this world.

[Drunken man downs liquor and passes out flat on his back]

Dale: S'il vous plait, I would like to have the same thing he had.

Dale: You know, it just occurred to me that bebop was invented by the cats who did get out of the army.

Francis: You are tired, Dale?

Dale: Oh yes. I'm tired... of everything except the... the music.

Dale: Berangere... that's a big name for a little girl.

Dale: Happiness is a nice wet Rico reed.

Dale: You just don't go out and pick a style off a tree one day. The tree's inside you, growing naturally.

Dale: My life is music. My love is music. And it's 24 hours a day.

Francis: When you were talking to the doctor, I was listening.

Dale: [with mock indignation] You were?... Was I good?

Dale: But never, never again, man. Don't cry for me. Never again, Francis.

Francis: What else can I do... when you are killing yourself.

Dale: I'll stop.

Francis: Stop?

Dale: I promise.

Francis: How? You never stopped before.

Dale: I never promised anybody before.

[Francis puts on a record]

Dale: Francis, who is that playing?

Francis: Who is playing? It's you. You just made a record.

Dale: Not bad.

Dale: Dale's cool.

Dale: It's funny how the world is inside of nothing. I mean you have your heart and soul inside of you. Babies are inside of their mothers. Fish are out there... in the water. But the world... is inside of nothing. I don't know if I like this or not, but you'd better write it down.

Dale: S.O.S. Same old shit.

Francis: Dale, you were happy in Paris?

Dale: [long pause] Very pretty town.

Dale: I hope, Lady Francis, that we live long enough to see an avenue named after Charlie Parker, a Lester Young Park, a Duke Ellington Square. And even, a street named Dale Turner.

Dale: Aimez-vous basketball?

Dale: Hey, Lady Francis!

Dale: Hey darling, you sleep okay? Oh my, this smells delicious. Delicious. Bon appetite, ladies. Dig in. Don't be bashful.

Dana: Shelly, please, don't eat it.

Dale: You ungrateful bitch. Maybe in college you can walk into any building and get your fancy foods and gourmet coffees but you don't know shit about the real world, missy. Hey! Out here if you want sushi you better catch you some fucking fish!

Dale: You got Dale's word on it.

Dale: Catch that bitch!