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Penn & Teller don't know jack about global warming. -- Penn Jillette
Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it. -- Penn Jillette
If there are two things Penn & Teller stand for, it's the truth & lying, although not necessarily in that order. -- Penn Jillette
I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers. -- Penn Jillette
Teller and I worked Renaissance Festivals and street performing - actually more real, no kidding around, Philadelphia street performing than we did Renaissance Festivals. -- Penn Jillette
One of the things that Teller and I are obsessed with, one of the reasons that we're in magic, is the difference between fantasy and reality. -- Penn Jillette
I'm a big Penn & Teller fan. But I myself was never very good; I was a teenage magician who performed at kids' parties. I can still perform a vanish, credibly, and I still, in special circumstances, will make a balloon animal. -- Ira Glass
It wasn't success, because Teller and I, by the time Asparagus Valley got together - within a year, we had achieved all our goals. I mean, our goal was to earn our living doing exactly what we wanted. Which is many people's goal. -- Penn Jillette
Nobody who is a Penn & Teller fan thinks of us first and foremost as magicians, but as a comedy team. -- Teller
We have a few things in common - smoking, drinking, and women. Photography just gets us out of the house. (To photographer Juergen Teller) -- William Eggleston
In truth, Edward Teller ran the Livermore Lab, but for public purposes he liked it better to be known as only an associate director -- John Gofman
Basically all the religions,sciences and powers of the world boil down to a simple truth. The Best Story Teller will win in the end! -- Stanley Victor Paskavich
Penn and Teller love the very intellectual side of magic. Me, I'm more fun than them. They never look like they're having fun. They look angry. -- Justin Flom
So here is my story, may it bringSome smiles and a tear or so,It happened once upon a time,Far away, and long ago,Outside the night wind keens and wails,Come listen to me, the Teller of Tales! -- Brian Jacques
Could any symbol be any more appropriate of the ambiguity of human transformation? What mushroom is it that grows at the end of history? Is it Stropharia cubensis, or is it the creation of Edward Teller? This is an unresolved problem. -- Terence McKenna
No, I'm the infamous Edward Teller. -- Edward Teller
Trust the tale, not the teller. -- David Knopfler
Redemption isn't giving a bank robber a job as a teller. -- Jane Velez-Mitchell
Short films really helped me develop as a story teller, animator, and as a director. -- John Lasseter
A good writer is basically a story teller, not a scholar or a redeemer of mankind. -- Isaac Bashevis Singer
I am less comfortable saying I am a jeweller and more comfortable saying I am a story teller. -- Waris Ahluwalia
The teller of a mirthful tale has latitude allowed him. We are content with less than absolute truth. -- Charles Lamb
I'm a yarn teller. My job is to engage you as much as I can and as often as I can. -- Ridley Scott
Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you. -- Ernest Hemingway
I'm a taker in terms of jokes. I love to hear a good joke, but I don't retain jokes. I'm not a good teller of jokes. -- Steve Carell
The philosophical spirit is not satisfied to simply accept what it is told, no matter how much prestige the teller seems to have. This is true even if the teller is a god. -- Brendan Myers
I think the genre of comics sometimes overtakes the medium, and people assume that they are kind of frivolous. If you have a good, strong story teller, they can be as affecting as any character in literature. Period. -- Chip Kidd
I've always felt that the traditional novel doesn't give you enough information about the narrator, and I think it's important to know the point of view from which these tales are told: the moral makeup of the teller. -- W. G. Sebald
By the very nature of his art, which depends on invention and innovation, a story teller must depart from the beaten track and, having done so, occasionally startle and disagree with some of his associates. Healthy disagreement we must have. -- Preston Sturges
My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs. -- Stephen Colbert
I do like the idea of consequence and how our actions play themselves out, but I am completely scared of knowing what the future would be like. I would never go near a fortune teller, even though it's probably not even real. I just don't wanna know. -- Paul Dano
I did plenty of jobs that I hated. I was a bank teller and terrible at it. I parked cars, a valet. I answered phones. I somehow avoided being a waiter. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the order straight. I'm not much of a multi-tasker. -- Will Ferrell
One of the things that Teller and I are obsessed with, one of the reasons that we're in magic, is the difference between fantasy and reality. That is the subject that, if you have a brain in your head, is always dealt with in magic. The smarter the tricks you're doing, the more that' s an important thing. -- Penn Jillette
I'm not a fortune-teller. -- Karl Lagerfeld
Truth never hurts the teller. -- Robert Browning
Truth never hurt the teller. -- Robert Browning
I'm just a story teller. -- Doris Lessing
I see myself as a story teller. -- E. L. James
Never trust the teller, trust the tale. -- D. H. Lawrence
The tale is often wiser than the teller. -- Susan Fletcher
The nature of bad news affects the teller. -- William Shakespeare
I'm not a kiss-and-teller. I never named names. -- Joni Mitchell
The story of my family. . .changes with the teller. -- Jennifer Haigh
Unless you are a fortune-teller, long-term business planning is a fantasy. -- Jason Fried
I am a story teller and I take each story very seriously. -- Michael Welch
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large. -- Ryan Ross
I'm a story teller. I really know how to tell stories of Africa. -- Angelique Kidjo
I am not a theologian or a philosopher. I am a story teller. -- William Golding
I've been a story-teller all my life but I realized it only recently. -- Isabel Allende
I am a story-teller, and I look to academic research... for ways of augmenting story-telling. -- Malcolm Gladwell
I became a writer, a teller of tales, because otherwise I would have died... or worse. -- Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Before you leave, the fortune teller reminds you that the future is never set in stone. -- Erin Morgenstern
But history is a faithless teller whose cruel recourse to hindsight makes fools of its actors. -- Kate Morton
Death is the sanction of everything the story-teller can tell. He has borrowed his authority from death. -- Walter Benjamin
I went to a shrink once, but I caught him going to a fortune-teller so I quit. -- James Caan
I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes. -- Bruce Forsyth
I am a story teller. If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon. -- Philip Pullman
A story is already over before we hear it. That is how the teller knows what it means. -- Joan Silber
For the habitual truth-teller and truth-seeker, indeed, the whole world has very little liking. He is always unpopular. -- H. L. Mencken
People take what they need from the stories they hear. The tale is often wiser than the teller. -- Susan Fletcher
I had always felt life first as a story: and if there is a story there is a story-teller -- Gilbert K. Chesterton
That was the best kind of story: when the teller was as much under its spell as the listener. -- Nancy Farmer
Anne DeGrace is a gifted story teller and Far From Home contains some of her most intriguing characters. Thoroughly enjoyable. -- Paulette Jiles
Most secrets should never be told, but especially those that are more menacing to the listener than to the teller. -- Truman Capote
The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller. -- Scott Adams
Change is the essence of life; change is the great challenge, the great constant. Change is the ultimate teller of tales. -- Sarah Ban Breathnach
With short stories, the story-teller must have a story to tell, not merely some sweet prose to take out for a walk -- Herbert Gold
My dad was a cop. My mom worked at various jobs - she worked as a homemaker, a bank teller, a bartender. -- Lee Daniels
What fortune teller would ever have had the nerve to predict that the best years of my life would turn out to be my old age? -- Helene Hanff
Story is a relationship between the teller and the listener, a responsibility. After the listening you become accountable for the sacred knowledge that has been shared. -- Terry Tempest Williams
The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it. -- Mark Twain
The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it." -- Mark Twain
When you're a story teller, you work out everything. You work out who these people are, what's going to be happening. The environment in which they live. -- Kate Tempest
The most powerful person in the world is the story teller. The storyteller sets the vision, values and agenda of an entire generation that is to come. -- Steve Jobs
Every man has his destiny. But who needs to go to a fortune-teller to find it? Do I go to a chef to find out if I'm hungry? -- Arthur Golden
The poet or the story-teller who cannot give the reader a little ghostly pleasure at times never can be either a really great writer or a great thinker. -- Lafcadio Hearn
You can believe in originals only if you just don't know their context within literature. Certainly I believe in originality, but it lies with the teller, not the tale. -- William Monahan
I am basically the sort of person who has stage-fright teaching. I kind of creep into a classroom. I'm not an anecdote-teller, either, although I often wish I were. -- Lydia Davis
The distance between an honest Christian mystic and a fortune-teller is sometimes less than half a whisper. Less than a pot of tea or the space between two book covers. -- Cherie Priest
I am a story-teller working with a craft. My job is to use my craft - which is a different thing to my race - and tell a story well. -- Gavin Hood
American bankers believe in the personal touch; the teller conveys a sense that he happens to be there accidentally and he is overjoyed at the lucky chance of the encounter. -- Graham Greene
To me there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful. -- Woody Allen
When the head of the Hyundai Motor Company, Chung Mong-koo, was fighting with his younger brother Chung Mong-hun over the company's management, he is said to have consulted a fortune-teller. -- Kim Young-ha
I'm not a natural story-teller. Put a keyboard in front of me and I'm fine, but stand me up in front of an audience and I'm actually quite shy and reserved. -- Bill Bryson
Using a forecasting company is like going to a fortune-teller. If you believe the company and the color does not sell, who do you blame? The forecasters? No, you blame yourself. -- Tadashi Shoji
I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes. -- Demetri Martin
To see the madness and yet walk a perfect silver line. ... That's what the true story-teller should be: a great guide, a clear mind, who can walk a silver line in hell or madness. -- Ben Okri
I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me.... -- Mila Kunis
You will be fine,' the fortune teller says. 'There may be decisions to make and surprises in store. Life takes us to unexpected places sometimes. The future is never set in stone, remember that. -- Erin Morgenstern
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