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They told me I gave the best milk mustache of anybody. -- Yasmine Bleeth
I will say, as a woman, when you put a mustache on, you find out a lot of things about yourself. -- Carrie Brownstein
A mustache really defines your face. My dad had a mustache when I was growing up, and I can still remember when he shaved it, he looked like a completely different person. -- Jason Sudeikis
Men always talk about the most important things to perfect strangers. In the perfect stranger we perceive man himself; the image of a God is not disguised by resemblances to an uncle or doubts of wisdom of a mustache. -- Gilbert K. Chesterton
No wife, no horse, no mustache -- Robert Anton Wilson
I had a mustache when I was 13. -- David Schwimmer
A good mustache makes a man for many reasons. -- John Oates
I had beautiful wavy hair and a waxed mustache. -- Curly Howard
I had beautiful wavy hair and a waxed moustache. -- Curly Howard
A man without a mustache is a man without a soul. -- Confucius
Believe me, I've taken a lot of heat for my mustache. -- Kevin Connolly
My mustache has become this weird iconic representation of a certain era. -- John Oates
I can't grow a mustache. It's pretty sad if I attempt to. -- Ashton Kutcher
You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend. -- Marty Feldman
The Yankees have strict rules. You can have a mustache but no other facial hair. -- Derek Jeter
Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair. -- John Hodgman
I've grown this mustache which saves me from having to glue on one every day in the heat. -- Keith Carradine
Eddie Drake is sort of this loose cannon, funny, edgy guy, who has this really foolish, foolish mustache. -- Lee Tergesen
My wit is sharper then the finest mustache, and when I walk among men I make truths ring like spurs. -- Edmond Rostand
Having a mustache and never smiling became a permanent component of my persona through the quaintly self-important decade of the seventies. -- John Oates
I didn't want to wear a checked shirt and grow a mustache - that's what you had to do, and everyone did. -- Neil Tennant
In wrestling, my mustache made me look more like a villain. A good mustache can give you the look of the devil. -- Jesse Ventura
A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan. -- Mel Brooks
I put a mustache and some eyebrows on, and I looked just like Nicolas Cage. ... We have the same amazingly handsome good looks. -- Marilyn Manson
Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache? -- David Letterman
As he drank, little brown drops of coffee clung to his mustache like dew. Men will live like billy goats if they are let alone. -- Charles Portis
I just grow a terrible mustache, so I try to use my neckbeard as a substitute. And when I get lazy, I don't shave that often. -- Andrew Luck
Nowadays, if you have a mustache, people look at you like you're crazy. But when I was growing up, I never saw my dad without a mustache. -- Kevin Connolly
I can't say that I haven't done some bad acting in my time. I have. Usually that involves what we actors call 'indicating,' when you twirl your mustache. -- Billy Campbell
I watched Gene Kelly for his smile, for his energy. Vittorio Gassman for his movement. Clark Gable for his mustache. And I watched Lassie who was happy as a dog. -- Jean Dujardin
I watched a lot of Douglas Fairbanks movies. He always played the same role with a mustache. Zorro had a mustache. The Musketeer had a mustache. Tarzan had a mustache. -- Jean Dujardin
I think I've become the go-to mustache man. It works in period pieces. Modern-day mustaches are probably creepy. But I get compliments - everyone's like, 'Wow, love the 'stache, dude.' -- Jack Huston
Looking for peace is like looking for a turtle with a mustache: You won't be able to find it. But when your heart is ready, peace will come looking for you. -- Ajahn Chah
I love milk so much! I make a point of drinking a glass of milk every day. So now anyone who did those milk ads with the milk mustaches, they're my heroes. -- Natalie Portman
I go home and stay there. I wash and scrub up each day, and that's it. One month I actually grew a moustache, just so I could say that I'd done something. -- Bill Murray
It's usually my mom who gets on me about my facial hair. I can't grow a good mustache, so I guess it's just a neck beard. I just have trouble growing up there. -- Andrew Luck
Not to get too deep on shaving my mustache, but it was kind of symbolic of, 'This is a moment of liberation, a chance to reinvent yourself.' That's kind of what I did. -- Lester Holt
In 'Pacific Rim' I had to have a haircut I wouldn't usually rock. However, the moustache I had in the film - that might have to come out again. It was a good moustache. Good times. -- Idris Elba
There's a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don't try to have a conversation with me like you don't have a handlebar mustache. -- Hannibal Buress
When I went to the Olympics, I had every intention of shaving the mustache off, but I realized I was getting so many comments about it - and everybody was talking about it - that I decided to keep it. -- Mark Spitz
I'm an old fashioned theater major at heart. I love to do a show, do something with friends; I'm kind of a nerd in that way. I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. -- Tom Lenk
It's very juicy to twirl your mustache and figure out why people do the horrible things that they do. It's not just because they are evil, but because that's how they somehow explain the world to themselves and justify themselves. It's always interesting figuring out how that happens. -- Zeljko Ivanek
It was my mustache that landed jobs for me. In those silent-film days it was the mark of a villain. When I realized they had me pegged as a foreign nobleman type I began to live the part, too. I bought a pair of white spats, an ascot tie and a walking stick. -- Adolphe Menjou
The only time I'm not Hulk Hogan is when I'm behind closed doors because as soon as I walk out the front door, and somebody says hello to me, I can't just say 'hello' like Terry. When they see me, they see the blond hair, the mustache, and the bald head, they instantly think Hulk Hogan. -- Hulk Hogan
I did four movies where I gained, like, fifty pounds. I had curly hair, and I had all of this facial hair. I had put on all this weight for these movies, and I did four or five of them back-to-back. Then I cut the weight and I got fit again. I cut my beard and I took away the mustache, and people were like, 'What are you doing?' -- A. J. Bowen
Sometimes a milk mustache is just a milk mustache. -- Jesse Peyronel
She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache. -- Noel Coward
Drew a mustache on your picture, threw your ring away. -- Sam the Sham
A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. -- Rose Wilder Lane
I want to see Brian Williams with no irony wearing a mustache. -- Adam McKay
My mustache gets so many questions he has his own agen now. -- Tom Selleck
I may not be Hispanic, but I'm close. I'm Catholic with a mustache[] -- John G. Schmitz
Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler. -- Lewis Black
Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache. -- Alan Bennett
If you have a friend with a blond mustache, he wants to touch you. -- Pete Holmes
There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one. -- Groucho Marx
I'm not shaving for a month so you all can see my mustache... I'm pumped! -- Justin Bieber
This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache. -- J. B. Smoove
I am not beautiful, so I don't know why I'm making myself ugly. But the mustache stays. -- John Hodgman
Do I look stupid?" snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache. -- J. K. Rowling
Since 99.362% of women love mustache rides, it seems only a fool would have a bare upper lip. -- Albert Einstein
There are some women out there who are just going to look better with a mustache: that's statistics. -- Caitlin Moran
Eric Holder sees everything through the prism of race. He keeps that mustache because shaving cream is white. -- Greg Gutfeld
Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar mustache I can borrow? -- Jarod Kintz
My mustache can be your toothbrush for the one-time low cost of $1.23. Each mustoothbrush is made from 100% recycled material. -- Jarod Kintz
When the jelly faced women all sneeze, hear the one with the mustache say I can't find my knees. -- Bob Dylan
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I couldn't wait to grow a mustache. I stopped shaving my upper lip the day I graduated from high school. -- John Oates
I once tried to shave my mustache off with a toothbrush. Just one example of my skills as a lover. -- Jarod Kintz
I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. -- Tom Lenk
First, he [Donald Trump] took out like this little make up compact like right here, because he had a sweat mustache. -- Marco Rubio
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For years now, people have mentioned my mustache and get disappointed that when they see me live I don't have a mustache. -- Hari Kondabolu
I had grown a thin mustache, I was a full-grown man, and yet I was completely helpless and without a goal in life. -- Hermann Hesse
"Chocolate mustache" is from a line in the book. It's my favorite title (chosen by me), so I'm pleased that Never Spit was tossed. -- J. Patrick Lewis
If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off. -- Jeff Foxworthy
His fair landlady was in despair. She would most willingly have made M. d'Artagnan her husband--such a handsome man, and such a fierce mustache! -- Alexandre Dumas
The mustache represented the old John; I didn't want to be that guy anymore, so I shaved it off. It was ritualistic in a way. -- John Oates
Have a care how you speak to me, Imp. Doubtless he meant to sound threatening, but that absurd wisp of a mustache ruined the effect. -- George R. R. Martin
The style of mustache I have is called a Hungarian, and you need a certain type of viscosity in the wax to make it work. -- Justin Hawkins
I want to hang from a tree the way Spanish moss hung from my father's face, like the mustache he was so embarrassed he couldn't grow. -- Jarod Kintz
My wit is more polished than your mustache. The truth which I speak strikes more sparks from men's hearts than your spurs do from the cobblestones. -- Edmond Rostand
My car would look better with a mustache for a bumper. Then pedestrians would know that I am a superior lover, just before I hit on them. -- Jarod Kintz
It takes a particularly rarified variety of idiot to look at a Jew-hating fascist with a small mustache - and decide that his opponent is the Nazi. -- James Lileks
I watched It Happened One Night and looked at online pictures and really liked Clark Gable's mustache and hair and the tuxedo. I just really liked that look. -- Evan Peters
I think the trick to playing villains is that you can't play them as if they know that they're villains, otherwise it becomes some sort of mustache-twirling caricature! -- Mariana Klaveno
I used to play pianos in bars. You know in hotels, you'd see guys playing piano with a snifter? That was me, with a painted-on mustache. I was about 15. -- Brian McKnight
I think I've become the go-to mustache man. It works in period pieces. Modern-day mustaches are probably creepy. But I get compliments - everyone's like, 'Wow, love the 'stache, dude. -- Jack Huston
No. 1 music event in 1998? 'Weird Al gets LASIK to cure his myopia. At the same time, he grows out his hair and shaves his mustache, drastically changing his look.' -- Janet Varney
I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. -- Peyton Manning
Of the quaking recruit, three pitched battles make a grim grenadier; and he who shrank from the muzzle of a cannon, is now ready to yield his mustache for a sponge. -- Herman Melville
I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable. -- Jarod Kintz
When I was cast for 'Walking Dead,' I was still doing 'Lone Ranger,' so I have my 'Lone Ranger' look with the handlebar mustache. I think everybody appreciates the professional mustache. -- Lew Temple
Professor Braithwope, shimmering out of his room fully clothed and dapper. His mustache was a fluffy caterpillar of curiosity, perched and ready to inquire, dragging the vampire along behind it on the investigation. -- Gail Carriger
A man once said, 'All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.' Mark Twain, you know. He had a fine mustache. Men of wisdom so often do. -- Laini Taylor
It's all about the stache, and I have so many fans that offer me tips on mustache wax that I actually really appreciate. I've been able to get some leads on some good products. -- Lew Temple
Your deceit smells like a fake mustache. Nobody stole my facial hair. I shaved this morning and donated half of it to the Humane Society. The other half I kept for sentimental petting reasons. -- Jarod Kintz
It's 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there's just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler. Can I play? Let's see. Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler! -- Lewis Black
The problem for me is that I look like so many people in my family, so I can't really see anything. Except I could say that I look rather like my father without his mustache. -- Tilda Swinton
It became the middle finger I couldn't raise in PR photographs. The mustache became my silent last word in the verbal battles I was losing with higher headquarters on rules, targets, and fighting the war. -- Robin Olds
The Toothbrush mustache is the most powerful configuration of facial hair the world has ever known. It overpowers whoever touches it. By merely doodling a Toothbrush mustache on a poster, you make a political statement. -- Rich Cohen

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