Marty Feldman quotes:

I am too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.

Too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and is considerably easier to write with.

It could be worse... It could be raining

Money can't buy poverty.

You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend.

He made us laugh, he took my pain away. I love you, Lauretta.

Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules.