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Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time. -- Lyndon B. Johnson
New Jersey is a great place to live. And we have given some of the best talent to the world, from Jack Nicholson, John Travolta, to Jerry Lewis to Bon Jovi to Frank Sinatra. -- Queen Latifah
We decided to redefine the bottom line at Ben & Jerry's -- Ben Cohen
Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry. -- Janet Evanovich
If you gave [Jerry] Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox. -- Christopher Hitchens
Don't wait for someone else to complete you. 'Jerry Maguire' was just a movie. -- Oprah Winfrey
I used to pretend that I was Tom attacking Jerry, who was drawn on the ball -- Monica Seles
I was very keen on people like Elvis, Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Gene Vincent. -- Robin Trower
Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions. -- Hal Sparks
In the end we're all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just haven't been on the show. -- Marilyn Manson
Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. -- Kinky Friedman
Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors. -- Bernie Mac
Golfers are genuinely courteous in a discourteous world. Show me a guest on The Jerry Springer Show who's a golfer. -- James Woods
I wasn't going to let Jerry Sloan embarrass me, because basketball had a proper role in my life. I suspected my basketball philosophy wasn't the bottom line anyway. -- John Amaechi
I was never close to Jerry Falwell because he had his ministry, I had mine. And we came from different theological training and from a different psychological education. -- Robert H. Schuller
A new sickness invaded Jerry, the sickness of knowing what he had become, another animal, another beast, another violent person in a violent world, inflicting damage, not disturbing the universe but damaging it. -- Robert Cormier
My friend Jerry Falwell was the one who said it, and he was a guest on my show, and it's hard to take the blame for everybody who shows up on your show. -- Pat Robertson
I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there. -- Larry David
It was not a friendly game, and Jerry certainly did not have friendliness in his eyes. He had an extra mean streak that day. He was out of control and probably should have been ejected. -- Roger Staubach
Jerry and I always felt that the character was enjoying himself. He was having fun: he wasn't taking himself seriously. It was always a lark for him, as you can see in my early drawings. -- Joe Shuster
I wouldn't call myself a standup in the presence of Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock, but I do my share of it and it has been and remains part of my activity and I like it. -- Alan Thicke
I grew up loving David Letterman and Pee-wee Herman, but as far as live performance comedy, all I knew were the Jerry Seinfeld-type comedians of the world, and that's what I thought live performance comedy was all about. -- Scott Aukerman
In a way, it's my way of dealing with, finding closure with Grateful Dead music, and giving thanks in a way to Jerry and Bob and all the guys in the band for making up this wonderful music. -- Phil Lesh
I did host the Jim Rome show with Jerry Ferrara for three hours when he was on vacation. Three hours is a long time. Think about how long that is. It was tricky, but it was a great experience. -- Kevin Connolly
For me to be here tonight, everything had to be perfect. I had to get drafted by Utah, had to play with a point guard like John Stockton, and had to be coached by Jerry Sloan and Frank Layden. -- Karl Malone
I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today. -- Gerald R. Ford
I don't have 'The Jerry Springer Show'. I just got 'Family Feud', but some of them families, when they lose, man, they have some real conversations with each other back behind that wall, but I've never been involved in any of them. -- Steve Harvey
I'm in awe of people like Jerry Lee Lewis and Little Richard; they're great musicians and people. But I'm most starstruck by people in the small town where I live. Especially single dads, like me, who are working five times as hard to raise their kids. -- Kid Rock
Jerry Robinson illustrated some of the defining images of pop culture's greatest icons. As an artist myself, it's impossible not to feel humbled by his body of work. Everyone who loves comics owes Jerry a debt of gratitude for the rich legacy that he leaves behind. -- Jim Lee
I personally have dealt with any adversity in my life with humor. That's why I told America to 'Read my hips!' on 'Dancing With the Stars' or was happy to play along with Jason Alexander and Jerry Seinfeld in the great restaurant scene on 'Seinfeld.' -- Marlee Matlin
One out of every 100 families in Vermont was a part owner of Ben and Jerry's. -- Jerry Greenfield
Jerry Goldsmith is an artist who meets all the demands upon the composer in films. He communicates, integrates, subordinates, supports, and designs with discipline. -- Jerry Goldsmith
Ben & Jerry's is an indulgent dessert that should be eaten in moderation. You should not be replacing more than one meal a day with ice cream. We do not consider a pint or a tub of ice cream to be a single serving. -- Jerry Greenfield
Hey, everybody, Jerry Maguire's here. -- Susan Elizabeth Phillips
I think it's Jerry's masterful fiction writing. -- Tim LaHaye
I'm the Jerry Lewis of crime fiction. -- Harlan Coben
I sold my house to Jerry Seinfeld. -- Billy Joel
It's not the same without Jerry. It never will be. -- Bill Kreutzmann
I don't want to be in the Jerry Sandusky business. -- Bob Costas
I feel a little like Rod Tidwell from Jerry Maguire -- Kendrick Meek
His voice carried authority the way Ben & Jerry's carries calories. -- Stephen White
Jerry and I hoped that it would be a popular bestseller. -- Tim LaHaye
Harry Patch didn't get enough recognition. Jerry Garcia got too much. -- Trevor Dunn
Haha, you lose! I got your delicious Subway sandwich Jerry 'stupid' Lawler! -- Santino Marella
[Jerry Brown] is California's way of celebrating the Year of the Child. -- Jimmy Carter
Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd. -- Trey Parker
My influences were Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis and Chuck Berry. -- Micky Dolenz
Jerry Seinfeld made a puddle, I stepped in it, and wonderful things happened. -- Jason Alexander
He's the greatest clutch player I've ever seen. The hell with Jerry West! -- Pat Riley
I loved Carl Perkins, Jerry lee Lewis... not only were they personal friends. -- Wanda Jackson
It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap. -- Norman Wisdom
I'm Jerry Lawler, I make fun of women because I have no self-esteem. -- Santino Marella
You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble. -- Mark Russell
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Art Monk was an example for Jerry Rice. That's what Jerry always told me. -- Ronnie Lott
Jerry [Garcia] got high and Jerry's dead. I went hunting and I'm still Ted. -- Ted Nugent
Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey. -- Charles Barkley
Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead did as much for mankind as any president. -- Grace Slick
Jerry: Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhhh... I'm a man. Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect. -- Billy Wilder
Jerry Garcia was one of the original American icons. He played naturally and beautifully. -- Ornette Coleman
Ray Bannister started to build the guillotine the day Jerry Renault returned to Monument. -- Robert Cormier
Jerry Kilgore offers denial and delusion, ... Mr. Kaine Delusion and deceit. That means nothing happens. -- Russ Potts
Jerry Goldsmith is the #1 composer working now. He's open to new ideas and always inventing. -- Elmer Bernstein
Jerry Coleman was the kind of player who made me proud to wear the pinstripes. -- Joe Torre
I don't know if Jerry Lawler got here in a plane, or a time machine. -- Alex Riley
Hell and damnation, life is such fun with a ragged greatcoat and a Jerry gun! -- Alexander Blok
Before I ever put anything on paper, Jerry and I would talk back and forth. -- Joe Shuster
What I always say is that we're the illegitimate children of Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lewis. -- Kevin McDonald
Jerry Falwell can go straight to hell - and I mean that in a Christian way. -- Jimmy Carter
I grew up on Don Knotts and Jerry Lewis and all the guys from Second City. -- Harland Williams
Jerry Lumpe looks like the best hitter in the world until you put him in the lineup. -- Casey Stengel
Next up [new TV stars] was [Dean] Martin and [Jerry] Lewis on 'The Colgate Comedy Hour.' -- Norman Lear
Jerry Rice made the decision and we honestly tried to accommodate him the best way we can. -- Al Davis
It's grown into a personal relationship, yeah. I'm crazy about Jerry. I think he's a unique character. -- Jon Voight
Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican. -- Bob Hope
Gypsies at home watching Jerry Falwell on TV, might mean something to you, it ain't nothing to me. -- Tom Petty
You know, it's cigarettes that killed Jerry Garcia. Everyone thinks it's heroin, but it wasn't. It was cigarettes. -- John Mellencamp
In many ways when Jerry Ford pardoned Nixon, in a certain way, he did speak for the country. -- Morley Safer
I think that Jerry Bruckheimer just kind of has his finger on the pulse of what America wants. -- Boti Bliss
They thought they were Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall. In fact, they were more like Tom and Jerry -- Bob Geldof
You beef wit me, I'm-a even the score equally. Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally. -- Eminem
Back then, I, most rockers loved Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis... you know in the '60s. -- Joe Cocker
Back then, I, most rockers loved Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis... you know in the '60s." -- Joe Cocker
One of my greatest personal heroes is Jerry Lopez. When you can snowboard like he surfs, you'll be there! -- Frederick Lindemann, 1st Viscount Cherwell
[Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was nominated for a Grammy for his spoken-word children's album] Halloween... Don't Give Up on Me. -- Jamie Lee Curtis
I'm looking forward to talking to Bill Parcells, too, and to seeing how that marriage with Jerry Jones goes. -- Lisa Guerrero
I think the Canadian Football League is a great league, but it's not the NFL, and I'm not Jerry Rice. -- Darren Flutie
Thank God for Jerry Springer's show. I thought only black folks were that screwed up until I watched Jerry Springer. -- Charles Barkley
Bonkers is kind of a combination of Jerry Lewis and Harpo Marx, which is very strange because Harpo never spoke! -- Jim Cummings
What I love more than anything is Jerry Goldsmith's 80's music and Bernard Herrmann's genre music from the 50's and 60's. -- Bear McCreary
In 1974, the modeling world changed. Jerry Ford and my lawyer negotiated the deal for the first exclusive contract in modeling history. -- Lauren Hutton
Jerry Bruckheimer really is an executive producer, who obviously is the most successful producer in the history of film and television. -- Dylan McDermott
There is not a sentence in the world that could respectfully do justice to the life and music of Jerry Garcia. -- Branford Marsalis
We all [Ed Simmons,Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis] started together, so there were no rules - anything we wrote became television. -- Norman Lear
I know Jerry [Falwell] fairly well, and he's probably not bright enough to recognize all of the implications of what he said. -- John Shelby Spong
I grew up, I was going I want to be Jerry Lee Lewis. Only I can't play piano and sing that good. -- Chris Isaak
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I never got tired of Tom and Jerry, but I did have a dream of doing more with my life than making cartoons. -- Joseph Barbera
I couldn't watch Tom and Jerry. The cruelty was too much. I had all these strange images, of tiny animals, all mixed up. -- Julie Walters
Jerry Falwell says that abortion and homosexuality are sins. Oh yeah? Well, so is gluttony, Jerry. So maybe you should think about dropping 50 pounds. -- Dennis Miller
Ben & Jerry's ice cream will try to make some marijuana ice cream, resulting in thousands of people simultaneously getting and curing ice cream headaches. -- Peter Sagal
We got on American Bandstand, where kids would dance to a record and then rate it. We called ourselves Tom and Jerry. I was Jerry. -- Paul Simon
The loss of Jerry Garcia feels like the end of an era in the same way it felt when Elvis died and John Lennon was killed. -- Lyle Lovett
Rock and roll was something to fall back on. If I had my choice, I'd be Jerry Rice and I'd be playing until I was forty-five. -- Darius Rucker
Jerry Garcia used to take his paints on the road. I don't do that. Either I'm a singer or a painter. I'm not good at multi-tasking. -- Grace Slick
If you listen to old Jerry Lee Lewis records, he'll always - about nine times out of 10 have the lyrics different than the original record is. -- Chris Isaak
From Lucifer to Jerry Sneak there is not an aspect of evil, imperfection, and littleness which can elude the lights of humor or the lightning of wit. -- Edwin Percy Whipple
Approximately four years ago, we were told that Jerry Rice would be a free agent and there were people who felt that he no longer could contribute. -- Al Davis
I was a guest on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee with Jerry Seinfeld, and I interviewed him when I was 15 years old-those moments really blow your mind. -- Judd Apatow
I like the Stooges. You know what movie I saw that I sort of discovered late was Jerry Lewis in 'The Nutty Professor'. I really liked that. -- Mike Judge
Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything. -- Michael Bamberger
I love the Dead. As far as Jerry Garcia, Jerry Garcia could walk on water. He could do anything any man could ever do. He's a prince. -- Duane Allman
Everyone thinks my name is Jerry Laitis and they call me Mr Laitis. What can you do when you have a name that sounds like a disease? -- Vitas Gerulaitis
My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy. -- Roseanne Barr
Me and Jerry left because we felt we weren't getting anywhere playing our old songs in tiny clubs. The group was getting stale and staying behind the times. -- Johnny Thunders
Jerry Bruckheimer says that he makes films that he would want to see, and it seems that that coincides with what a lot of people want to see. -- Bill Nighy
There was another guy suggested. He was a tall and dark-haired and Jewy, and I said, "No, he's too close to me." It ended up being Jerry Seinfeld. -- David Copperfield
Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.' -- Craig Kilborn
Jerry Garcia was a great American master and the Grateful Dead are not just a genuine piece of musical history, but also an important part of American history, -- Trey Anastasio
I can say with unwavering certitude that I have never started a pint of Ben 'n Jerry's ice cream that I didn't finish in its entirety within 6 minutes. -- Gregor Collins

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