Steve Harvey quotes:

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  • Hollywood is run by people who sit up in their executive office, who are not connected to Mississippi, Alabama, Chicago, South Carolina. They know nothing about that, they don't go to church, and they make their decisions about what they think is right.

  • I ain't no author, man... my writing skills are not of 'New York Times' best-seller quality, trust and believe it ain't. My vocabulary ain't.

  • I'd have to say I'm most proud of my mentoring camp that I do in Dallas every year for one hundred boys from single-parent homes. I was raised by a mother who was a Sunday school teacher and a father who worked hard. Together they taught me to give back.

  • Failure is a great teacher, and I think when you make mistakes and you recover from them and you treat them as valuable learning experiences, then you've got something to share.

  • A person has to remember that the road to success is always under construction. You have to get that through your head. That it is not easy becoming successful.

  • You can take lessons to become almost anything: flying lessons, piano lessons, skydiving lessons, acting lessons, race car driving lessons, singing lessons. But there's no class for comedy. You have to be born with it. God has to give you this gift.

  • I don't have 'The Jerry Springer Show'. I just got 'Family Feud', but some of them families, when they lose, man, they have some real conversations with each other back behind that wall, but I've never been involved in any of them.

  • One of the biggest misconceptions that a woman has is that a man has to accept her the way she is. No, we don't. I don't know who told you that. We like the bright and shiny. If you stop wearing the makeup, stop putting on nail polish, stop wearing high heels, you'll lose us.

  • You have nothing if you're texting a guy in a relationship. We can text six women a minute. We can text it and push 'reply all.' I mean, since we're lying, we might as well lie to everybody.

  • My mother was a Sunday school teacher. So I am a byproduct of prayer. My mom just kept on praying for her son.

  • I'm just a living witness that you can be an imperfect soldier and still be in the army fighting for God Almighty. Don't you think you got to be perfect 'cause I ain't.

  • How can smart women be so stupid about men sometimes? Lack of knowledge. It's what men have kept secret for so long.

  • You've got to be in a bad relationship to really understand what a great one is.

  • My mother raised me in the church. I was not allowed to stay home on Sunday; there was no option. I sang in the choir all the way up until I went to college.

  • God lets you be successful because he trusts you that you will do the right thing with it. Now, does he get disappointed often? All the time, because people get there and they forget how they got it.

  • I'm a comedian first. I've learned how to act. I just draw on life experiences and that's how I've learned. I didn't take classes or anything. I don't need no classroom.

  • The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high.

  • I think there are so many books out there written on relationships and romance that women are the authors of. How can women know exactly how men think? And there are so many guys out there with relationship books who are just not telling the truth. They have shaded parts.

  • Women are the real reason we get up every day. I'm talking about real men. If there were no women, I would not even have to bathe, because why would I care? These are guys I'm hanging with. I wake up for a woman every day of my life to make it happen for her.

  • I never say 'nagging.' I think that 'nagging' is a term that men created to get women to pipe down some. But, it's a trap that we've created. We created several terms for women to back you down. Nagging means to stop asking me questions, then we get away with more. I think it's a term men created.

  • You've got to quit lowering your standards. Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business.

  • I don't rehearse on either of my shows, 'Family Feud' or my talk show. I never rehearse with the guests. I don't want to have any preconceived thoughts, notions, because that kills my creativity as a host and as a stand up.

  • I tell my boys not to play rough with their younger sister. I try to teach them what I know already: You're never going to win an argument with a girl, so just let her have what she wants!

  • I'm not a good mother at all.

  • A guy that's really serious about you, he's gotta be talking to you, he's gotta want to have one-on-one, in-your-face interaction. That's how we are.

  • The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to be very quick, and that's what I do.

  • Hip-hop is a beautiful thing. I think that the music genre itself has created more millionaires than any other music genre before it, especially in our community.

  • We all think that this relationship thing is a game out here. All I'm saying to women is, 'Okay. If it's a game, here are the rules that we play by.'

  • There has been nothing more impactful on my life and meaningful to me than the introduction of Christ. That, hands down, blows away every joke I've ever written.

  • There's a lot more to me than just funny.

  • I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.

  • People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in my life, in my heart.

  • If a man loves you... he's willing to profess it. He'll give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancee, his wife, his baby's mama, something.

  • I just believe if you don't believe in God, then where is your moral barometer? That's just me talking. You can believe what you want to believe.

  • God has given me a life far beyond anything I ever dreamed about. God is, man, God is something else man.

  • I don't have much of an attention span for TV - I nod off during the basketball playoffs - but when I watch 'Game of Thrones' on On Demand, I'm glued to the set. It's mystical and addictive. Tyrion Lannister, that's my man.

  • If I were an animal, I'd probably be a bald eagle, since I'm already bald and I love to fish. But I'd probably be a shaky-ass eagle because I'm afraid of flying.

  • THE MORE PEOPLE YOU HELP BECOME SUCCESSFUL, THE MORE SUCCESSFUL YOU BECOME.

  • I know how men think when they're not responding to questions in a clinical study.

  • You're an investigator - can't nobody find stuff out like a woman. Y'all put the police to shame, make the little investigative tricks they show on CSI and Law & Order: SVU look like counting lessons on Sesame Street.

  • Now, revealing that you're a keeper is no guarantee that this guy won't just walk away. Some men really are just sport fishing and have no intention of doing anything more than throwing back the women they bed. If this is the cae with this man, then let him walk-what do you care? He's not the guy you're looking for.

  • Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.

  • All I knew growing up was that my father was married to and loved my momma, period. He worked hard, made some money, and put it on the dresser. She spent it on the family, and he went out and earned some more. He taught me the most about love.

  • I have seen some crazy people do some crazy things on my variety show. I have to stop and ask them a lot of the time, just how they figured out that they could do the things that they do, some of it is just plain freaky.

  • The only way woman can truly be completely satisfied is to get herself four different men--an old one, an ugly one, a Mandingo, and a gay guy.

  • I'm still very much a Christian and have a great relationship with God. I love Him, but one of my flaws is that I cuss.

  • Men automatically know from the moment she opens her mouth that if they want her, they'll have to get in line whith her standards and requirments, or keep it moving because she's done with the games and isn't interested in playing.

  • I was homeless. I lived in a car for a couple of years. That was the worst. But nothing was worse than when I was 40 and my mom passed away. My mother was the best person I ever knew. Those were the two lowest points.

  • There's no such thing as luck. These are blessings. God endows them upon you. He makes you a blessing to become a blessing.

  • Women want their love to be reciprocated in the same way they give it; they want their romantic lives to be as rewarding as they make them for their potential mates; they want the emotions that they turn on full blast to be met with the same intensity; and they expect the premium they put on commitment to be equally adhered to, valued, and respected.

  • Every day, President Obama sends a beautiful message about how we should treat our women based on how he treats his wife. When people went after his wife during the campaign, he took a stand.

  • The truth is I've always been a Christian. What's amazing, is that the flaws that come with Christianity are really weird, because mine have a microphone and a camera attached to them. Most people don't have to live under that microscope.

  • Jika seorang lelaki mencintai seorang wanita. Dia akan mengakui keberadaan wanita itu, memenuhi kebutuhannya, melindunginya. Jika dia sungguh sungguh mencintainya, pengakuan tertingginya adalah ini istri saya

  • Being on a comedy tour is like traveling with family, everyone is all having a great time... then all of a sudden it turns sour. One thing gets said out of turn, and everyone is on everyone's last nerve. After an hour of silence, we all start laughing about it.

  • Don't be afraid to lose him, because if a man truly loves you, he's not going anywhere

  • I think that we, as the African-American men in hip-hop, we have a greater responsibly because we have the ears of so many millions of our young people. And they listenin'.

  • You can't tell big dreams to small minded people.

  • I don't think it's cool for people to say, 'You shouldn't reference God because I don't believe that, and I don't want to hear it.' Well, there's a lot of stuff I don't believe that I still gotta hear.

  • To be No. 1 on the 'New York Times' best-seller list, well, that's alarming. Having been a stand-up comedian, I think it's surprising to a lot of people that I had the insight I had.

  • Catch fire today! Make today the day you stop complaining and do something!

  • The most successful people in this world recognize that taking chances to get what they want is much more productive than sitting around being too scared to take a shot.

  • Failure means you've now learned another valuable lesson that pushes you one step closer to success.

  • Let him treat you like a lady and open the car door for you. If he doesn't automatically open the door for you, stand by the darn thing and don't get into the vehicle until he realises he needs to get hid behind out of the driver's seat and come round and open the car door for you. That's his job!

  • You don't just sit in the car and let some guy drive you through life, wasting your time.

  • Catch Fire, Do Something, Get Excited by Finding Your Purpose In Life.

  • I don't want people to see me fall. I mean, I got enough people cheering for me to fall now... The Internet has created some amazing place for evil to exist, you dig?

  • I'm not really a relationship expert but... I'm an expert on manhood and what men think.

  • The first time I saw my wife, Marjorie, I was doing stand-up in Memphis, and she was sitting in the front row. Afterward, I walked up and said, 'Ma'am, I'm going to marry you one day.' And 15 years later, I did.

  • Other than my foundation - mentoring programs - everything I do is for money.

  • If you'd asked me then if I saw how big 'The Steve Harvey Morning Show' was going to be, I couldn't tell you. But I knew I could reach people not as a character but as Steve Harvey, because although I tell jokes for a living, I've also lived, and I think I can relate to you more than you know.

  • I tell people I'm a stand-up comedian two hours a week. The rest of the time, I'm somebody's husband, I'm somebody's father. I'm a man. I take great pride in that.

  • I'm not a relationship expert. I'm an expert on manhood.

  • The Lord saved my soul.

  • God has positioned me just this way to be just like I am, to say what I say how I say it.

  • You can be happy, or you can be right. If you want to be part of a couple and win every argument, you're in trouble.

  • A man fishes for two reasons: he's either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he's either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he's going to take that fish on home, scale it, fillet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women.

  • a real man is happy and eager to live by your rules, as long as he knows what the rules are and he's sure that abiding by those rules will help keep the woman he loves happy

  • A woman can't change a man because she loves him. A man changes himself because he loves her.

  • Act like a lady think like a man

  • All I'm telling you to do is to be smart about it. Know that if this man isn't looking for a serious relationship, you're not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord's green earth-you're capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you're independent (which means, to him, that you're not going to be in his pockets)-but if he's not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish.

  • All you have to do is speak up. Tell him straight up: "I need you here to protect and provide for us, to give us security in our lives, to help raise these children, to set an example for this boy, who needs to see what real men do, and for this girl, who needs to know what a real man is so she can find one of her own someday. I need you to be the head of this family." Lay it out like this, and your requirements will trump his mother's every time.

  • Anyone can sleep with a guy in 24-48 hours, but you're sending the wrong signal to the guy if you do that.

  • Ask any guy if sex is important in a relationship and the one who says no is lying. I just haven't met that guy yet. When you meet him, let's get him in to the Smithsonian - he's that special and rare.

  • Boys Shack, MEN build homes

  • But even in my darkest days I had faith it would turn around.

  • But remember what drives a man; real men do what they have to do to make sure their people are taken care of, clothed, housed, and reasonably sastisfied, and if they're doing anything less than that, they're not men.

  • Do not ignore you gift. Your gift is the thing you do the absolute BEST with the LEAST amount of effort."~Steve Harvey

  • Do what you say you're going to do! People can do nothing but respect that.

  • Don't hate the player; change the game

  • Everybody by your side ain't on your side

  • I can't cuss and tell jokes the rest of my life. I gotta say something meaningful. I gotta give something back to a Creator who has given so much to me.

  • I never saw myself not being a stand-up. That was my plan.

  • I tell jokes for a check; I'm on TV for a check.

  • If he hasn't lined up the who he is, the what he does, and the how much he makes in the way that he sees fit, he can't possibly be to you what he wants to be.

  • If you don't believe in God, then where is your moral barometer?

  • If you don't have a base - you can't not have a spiritual base and survive. That's probably what has kept me out of the tabloids. Then I go home, I've got a family, and I keep my wife in front of my head.

  • If you pray about it don't worry about it. If you're going to worry about it don't pray about it.

  • If you want to be successful, you have to jump, there's no way around it. When you jump, I can assure you that your parachute will not open right away. But if you do not jump, your parachute will never open. If you're safe, you'll never soar!

  • I'm here to tell you, though, ladies that the term "gold digger" is one of the traps we men set to keep you off our money trail; we created that term for you so that we can have all our money and still get everything we want from you without you asking for or expecting this very basic, instincual responsibility that men all over the world are obligated to assume and embrace. ... KNOW THIS: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exhange for your time.

  • I'm not a doctor. I just have a tremendous amount of common sense.

  • In order to overcome fear, your dream must become bigger than fear.

  • It's a woman's right to know a man's intentions upfront. Because, once you get emotionally attached to a man and you sleep with him, it's too late.

  • It's really unimaginable that I could start where I was and get here today.

  • Love is never going to go out of style, a man is always going to want to have the love of a woman. She just needs a game plan to work out how to get his love.

  • Men and women really do want the same things. We just need each other to bring it out. That's really the truth of the matter.

  • Men are, by nature, hunters, and women have been put in the position of being the prey.

  • Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan. We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted.

  • Men respect standards- get some!

  • Men respect women who have standards - get some!

  • My father instilled in me to take care of my family. Show up even when you don't want to show up.

  • My father told me never to take my foot off a ladder to kick at someone who was kicking at me. When I did that, I would no longer be climbing. While they are kicking, my father told me, I should keep stepping. They can kick only one time. If I continued to climb, they would be left behind. In trying to hurt me, to impede my progress, they would get left behind because they allowed themselves to get sidetracked from their agenda.

  • People don't like to hear the truth out here cause the truth makes them think.

  • Procrastinatio n will delay your change!!! Today is a very good day to change; don't let YOU stop yourself from growing!

  • Providing for the ones he loves and care about, whether it's monetarily or with sweat equity, is part of a man's DNA, and if he loves and cares for you, this man will provide for you all these things with no limits.

  • Sometimes out of your biggest misery, comes your greatest gain.

  • Sometimes we don't appreciate Prayer until we have to go through something!

  • The cookie is the critical part. It's a word I created for sex and you've got to give a man all three things. If you miss one out, he is going to find it somewhere else.

  • the number one cause of failure in this country is the fear of failure

  • the quote that i liked is"The moment of the baby boy is born is taught to be tough" i really liked this quote from the book that am reading because i think its the same in UAE,we teach our baby boy to be strong and to get up without crying and to depend on him self.

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