Harland Williams quotes:

I love seafood. Whenever I'm in Las Vegas, I love going to the Bellagio buffet because they have these great king crab legs.

The problem with binge-watching on Netflix is that you lose three days of your life.

I grew up on Don Knotts and Jerry Lewis and all the guys from Second City.

Canada has been a breeding ground for great comedic actors, sketch artists and stand-up comedians. We grew up with a different perspective on the world.

What's interesting about Stephen Baldwin is that me and Dana Gould were originally cast for 'Bio-Dome' - but Pauly Shore and Baldwin ended up doing it. So there's a little movie trivia for ya.

I used to do little sketches into my cassette tape recorder when I was a little boy. I would just turn it on and just start doing voices and characters. I just loved it.

I just tried to create a life for myself that's full of fun and fantasy and things that equal laughter. My life's been cartoons and comedy and acting, and it's just been a fun life, man.

I think life would be so much funnier if every day you saw someone walking down the street getting hit in the head by a monkey, don't you?

In 'There's Something About Mary' and 'Dumb & Dumber,' I ended up improvising quite a bit of my scenes, and later I didn't even remember what I'd said because I just winged it. When I went and saw the movie, I was as stunned as everyone else was.

I sort of write onstage. I'll throw an idea out there, like Home Depot, and just start talking about it.

I get a lot of people telling me that I'd make a good 'wacky neighbor.' I wouldn't mind that, if it was a starting-off point.

I hate when you go into a nice restaurant - someplace where you're going to spend good money - and there are kids in there crying.

I hate when you go into a nice restaurant - someplace where youre going to spend good money - and there are kids in there crying.

Animation wasn't my love, but drawing was. I loved drawing, and when it came time to graduate from high school, I looked around and it was like, "Wow, I don't really want to study math. I don't really want to study science. I don't really want to study literature. Is there a place where I can go and draw cartoons?"

If you're going to take a jab at someone, you should at least have a bit more of a personal relationship with them. I feel like you can be funny and clever, as opposed to just outright vile.

I'm an American citizen now, but I will always have Canadian pride.

I try to take normal things - whether it's a serious subject or something as obscure as a piece of toast - and put a very weird twist on them.

I don't laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and acting funny.

Executives and studios really like to have control over their product. They panic or they're not secure enough to trust in the powers of really amazing improv people.

I love the theater of the mind because you can go anywhere. You can say anything, and you pull people in. [You] can be jumping out of a window or riding a cow or having bubble-wrap sex or spraying your body with Pam and sliding out of your chair.

Pumpkins are the only living organisms with triangle eyes.

I just tried to create a life for myself that's full of fun and fantasy and things that equal laughter. My life's been cartoons and comedy and acting, and it's just been a fun life.

I think people should maybe just go out into the garden and watch a ladybug crawl across a flower and relax their mind. That's about all you need to know about life, I think.

Everything's a conspiracy and everything's not a conspiracy. You could look at this planet and go, "This is all a conspiracy. God made this to test us to see if we'll use the nukes." You can let your mind believe anything.

I dont go on tour tours - I just go randomly to cities to do shows if I have an opening in my schedule.

I think life would be so much funnier if every day you saw someone walking down the street getting hit in the head by a monkey.

The thing I love about sketch is sometimes it leads you as opposed to you leading it.

The thing I love about sketch is sometimes it leads you as opposed to you leading it. So, I don't go out there [thinking], "Oh, I want to make this as silly as possible." In fact, sometimes I get the most enjoyment out of a sketch that plays very real - and it's so real that it's just funny.