Hal Sparks quotes:

Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams.

Political and social change is always a stagger-step process.

Anyone who still supports George Bush would still let Michael Jackson babysit their kids.

People think that the arts are optional and they aren't. They teach a level of emotional depth that's equally important to mathematic skill. You can replace some math skills with a calculator if you know how to operate the thing, but there's no calculator for human interaction.

Political and social change is always a stagger-step process. One step forward, two steps back. They want you to give up.

You'd think after 8 years of things called 'The Patriot Act' and 'No Child Left Behind' they would know that we have figured out the 'Call it what it ain't' PR ploy by now, but... um... no.

Cold Case Files' and similar shows do bang up business, which points to a certain thirst for details in the viewership, but it seems like all the news chat shows continue to force the myth that Americans can't stand detail and have no interest in an idea that can't fit on a bumper sticker.

If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer.

Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine.

It's better to waste money than time. You can always get more money.

I'm a futurist. Technology is our way out of almost every problem we have. Technology can create a new sense of community.

You would not believe how much time people waste in a day. And how little time they put into things they genuinely love.

I'm as heterosexual as any person need be. I'm open about my relationships - or lack thereof - in my own life, because I want to make the case that gay isn't contagious. It's not something that you can catch or learn or choose.

Growing up in Kentucky, I used to hang out with four running buddies as a kid - 6, 10, and 11 years old. Two of them would later come out, and so 50 percent of my friends as a kid were gay.

It's better to waste money, than it is to waste time. You can always get more money.

Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions.

If I could sew comedy and philosophy together, then I've done a good job. The primary goal is always going to be laughs and the secondary goal is always going to be saying something without it being a lecture.

There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing.

If I could sew comedy and philosophy together, then I've done a good job. The primary goal is always going to be laughs and the secondary goal is always going to be saying something without it being a lecture. I think it's important to have substance for what you're saying.

Tori Amos had a major influence on how I craft words in a song. Until I heard 'Little Earthquakes' all my lyrics used really obvious analogies like rain for tears.

Tori Amos had a major influence on how I craft words in a song.

Mainly, when I go see a show, unfortunately it's more industrial espionage than it is going to actually enjoy a show.

The pop musicians often leave meaning in the dust and substitute it for cartoons. The deeper artists - the grunge artists in the world and the emoticon people - tend to leave all of the happiness out of life like it just doesn't exist.

People only have guilty pleasures when they crowbar pleasure down their throat all the time and then they reach for the brownies. Then you should feel guilty because you're killing your body and that's something to be guilty about.

All musicians need a day job in the beginning. Unless they still live with their parents, I guess. I'm just lucky that my day job is simply another form of art.

If you are for freedom and equal rights, which we hear a lot of talk about these days, then you have to include the LGBTQ community in that. And if you're not willing to put your time where your mouth is, then I don't know quite what you mean by commitment in your life.

Other kids would sneak out of the house to go to parties and do untoward things. I was sneaking out to do standup downtown. It paid off.

As a stand up, and often in acting, there is no place for the most intense feelings. Rage, genuine sorrow, naked hope... These things don't fit on a comedy stage and if you act you'll get to express them once in a while. Music is a place for the intensely personal.

If I have anything, it's tenacity.

I'm a writer, so I like dissecting things.

Boredom is your mind and body's way of telling you you're not living up to your potential.

I admire Laura Bush because she's the only librarian who would marry an illiterate.

I noticed a lot of guitar players neglected the rhythm part of rhythm guitar and decided I would try to focus in that.

I try to be as ignorant about things as I can.

If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie.

I'm named after a computer and grew up really interested in them.

I've always said that I benefit, as an actor, from not having the illusion of security.

Ive been doing stand-up since I was 15 years old.

Sometimes I play guitar like a frustrated drummer.

The Bush administration made us nostalgic for ... well, any other time in history.