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An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. -- Ernest Hemingway
Never Forget what someone says to you when they are drunk. Because Drunk words are Sober Thoughts -- Wiz Khalifa
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. -- Ernest Hemingway
It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office. -- Shirley MacLaine
An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men. -- Charles Darwin
Grant stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now we stand by each other. -- William Tecumseh Sherman
Punch-Drunk Love' is my favorite movie. -- Domhnall Gleeson
Drunk all the time, feeling fine on elderberry wine. -- Elton John
I stifled a sigh and ignored the Imprinted Drunk Vision Girl. -- P. C. Cast
What's the Use of Getting Sober (When You Gonna Get Drunk Again) -- Louis Jordan
I Was so Drunk, I Thought a Tube of Toothpaste Was Astronaut Food. -- Will Ferrell
Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green -- Layzie Bone
Drunk with beauty, I tore down Armfuls of blossoms. How desolate the marred sky! -- Alison Croggon
Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. -- Ambrose Bierce
Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit. -- Charles Bukowski
Drunk with the joy of singing I forget myself and call thee friend who art my lord. -- Rabindranath Tagore
All romantics meet the same fate some day. Drunk and cynical and boring someone in some dark cafe. -- Joni Mitchell
A desperate plea to the Trinityis not something you can justapologize for in the morning-Drunk Dialing the Divine -- Amber Koneval
Drunk, Jane spoke as though she were Nancy Drew. I was a fool for a girl with a dainty lexicon. -- Michael Chabon
And in the end, we were all just humans...Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Lessee...he'd gone off after the funeral and gotten drunk. No, not drunk, another word, ended with "er." Drunker. that was it. -- Terry Pratchett
Write drunk; edit sober. -- Ernest Hemingway
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. -- Oscar Wilde
Sometimes when you're drunk you can see better. -- Damien Hirst
A man's true character comes out when he's drunk. -- Charles Chaplin
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up. -- Mitch Hedberg
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. -- Ray Bradbury
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world. -- Ed McMahon
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. -- Frank Sinatra
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. -- Humphrey Bogart
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. -- Dean Martin
Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support, not illumination. -- Vin Scully
He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk. -- Epictetus
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. -- William Butler Yeats
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk. -- Samuel Johnson
Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night. -- Isaac Asimov
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. -- Winston Churchill
Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true. -- Aziz Ansari
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. -- George Burns
A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender. -- Jim Bishop
Modern morality and manners suppress all natural instincts, keep people ignorant of the facts of nature and make them fighting drunk on bogey tales. -- Aleister Crowley
The sky was falling down on me and I spent most of the time drunk. It was the only way I could handle it. -- David Millar
All the mistakes I've ever made in my life have been when I've been drunk. I haven't made hardly any mistakes sober, ever, ever. -- Tracey Emin
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it. -- Raymond Chandler
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -- Dean Martin
It is the hour to be drunken! to escape being the martyred slaves of time, be ceaselessly drunk. On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish. -- Charles Baudelaire
A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it. -- Lyndon B. Johnson
Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit. -- Johnny Depp
It is time to get drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of Time, get drunk; get drunk without stopping! On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish. -- Charles Baudelaire
Delia picked at the raw sores of her conscience...Drunk or sober, Delia lived in the small town in her heart, ignoring the world in which all her love had turned to grief. -- Dorothy Allison
I was a savage for so many years of my life. There was some seed of determination in me that I was not conscious of. I was mostly consciously getting into trouble and drunk. -- Daniel Day-Lewis
What white man has ever seen me drunk? Who has ever come to me hungry and left me unfed? Who has seen me beat my wives or abuse my children? What law have I broken? -- Sitting Bull
I've been drinking tequila for a long time now, and it's never been about drinking to get drunk. I don't do that. I never drink tequila during the day, and I don't drive at night. -- Sammy Hagar
Love, with very young people, is a heartless business. We drink at that age from thirst, or to get drunk; it is only later in life that we occupy ourselves with the individuality of our wine. -- Isak Dinesen
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. -- Frank Zappa
I think if you're fame-hungry, go out to a nightclub and get drunk... why do that? I don't understand how some people would want fame so bad that they'd go out and get negative attention to earn it. -- Zac Efron
Your life changes. Everything has to be done perfectly, and I didn't follow that. I lived my life as if I wasn't in the public eye. I thought, 'I'm young. I have the right to experience new things, and if I want to go to a bar and get drunk, that's my prerogative.' -- Shannen Doherty
If you wanted to show a mirror to people that says, 'You've been drunk on money,' they're not going to want to see it. But if you reflected that mirror on another time they'd be willing to. People will need an explanation of where we are and where we've been, and 'The Great Gatsby' can provide that explanation. -- Baz Luhrmann
My idol is Emile Zola. He was a man of the left, so people expected of him a kind of 'Les Miserables,' in which the underdogs are always noble people. But he went out, and found a lot of ambitious, drunk, slothful and mean people out there. Zola simply could not - and was not interested in - telling a lie. -- Tom Wolfe
I'm drunk but truthful. -- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
I'm a mischievous drunk. -- Noel Fielding
I'm drunk but truthful. -- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
You can't write drunk. -- Derek Walcott
Is drunk dancing a type? -- Nikki Ferrell
The shot glass is half drunk. -- Brian Spellman
I should have drunk more Champagne. -- John Maynard Keynes
I wish I'd drunk more champagne. -- John Maynard Keynes
Never practice magic when you're drunk. -- Assaph Mehr
Friends don't let heads drive drunk! -- Al Snow
I become drunk as circumstances dictate. -- Jack Vance
Everybody get drunk and make bad decisions. -- Gilbert Arenas
She's half mad and three parts drunk. -- William Boyd
I was always playing the hard-bitten drunk. -- Sally Kellerman
There's nothing worse than an introspective drunk. -- Tom Sharpe
I'm not drunk, just a little stoned. -- Gerard Way
I'm drunk when it comes to clothes. -- Nan Kempner
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken -- Colonel Sanders
It's not a crime to get drunk. -- Joe Bob Briggs
There's nothing left . . . but to get drunk. -- Franklin Pierce
I'm too drunk to walk, let's drive. -- G-Eazy
Drinking: something to do while getting drunk. -- Peg Bracken
I am alive, and drunk on sunlight. -- George R. R. Martin
I have drunk and seen the spider. -- William Shakespeare
Why don't we get drunk and screw? -- Jimmy Buffett
It would be pleasant to be drunk. -- Anne Sexton
The important thing is to be drunk. -- Chelsea Handler
Despots and democratic majorities are drunk with power. -- Ludwig von Mises
I don't get the whole getting drunk thing. -- Sarah Michelle Gellar
There's no point feeling angry at a drunk. -- Laura Schlessinger
If drunk were cookies, I'd be Famous Amos -- John Green
I'm drunk on the fiery elixer of beauty. -- Everett Ruess
Be IN it. Get drunk in the moment. -- Alonzo King
I liked you better when you were drunk . -- Tom Hardy
Be drunk in love and high on life. -- Karen Quan
Never argue with a drunk or a fool. -- Aaron Sorkin
I found out water can be drunk straight. -- Billy Carter
I was weeping again, drunk on the impossible past. -- Vladimir Nabokov
If tears were liquor/ I'd have drunk myself sick, -- Mark Lanegan
You're a beautiful drunk, daughter. But you're a drunk. -- Raymond Carver
A man's true character comes out when he's drunk. -- Charles Chaplin
the parties are no fun until everyone gets drunk -- Scott Westerfeld
Always be drunk ... Get drunk militantly. Just get drunk. -- Charles Baudelaire
Honey, don't walk out, I'm too drunk to follow. -- Tom Petty
There ain't no devil, only God when he's drunk. -- Tom Waits
Don't drink to get drunk. Drink to enjoy life. -- Jack Kerouac
...because really, sometimes the irony gods just get drunk. -- Libba Bray
I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved. -- George Gobel
No nation was ever drunk when wine was cheap. -- Thomas Jefferson
Come on. I got drunk when I was like 5. -- Fiona Apple
I'm not so think as you drunk I am ! -- John Squire
I've never been high or drunk in my life. -- Gene Simmons
A man does not exist until he is drunk. -- Ernest Hemingway
I have been drunk now for over two weeks. -- Jimmy Buffett
There is nothing left to do but get drunk. -- Franklin Pierce
We must pay for the wine we have drunk. -- Georgiana Burne-Jones
I work all day, and get half-drunk at night, -- Philip Larkin
It pays to get drunk with the best people. -- Joe E. Lewis
I'll be drunk again to feel a little love. -- Ed Sheeran
I never played drunk. Hung over, yes, but never drunk. -- Hack Wilson

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