George Gobel quotes:

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

Did you ever get the feeling that the world is a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes?

When I go to a party, nobody says hello. But when I leave, everybody says goodbye.

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Where I play, the greens always break toward the bar.

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one

Did you ever feel as if the whole world was a tuxedo, and you were a pair of brown shoes?

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today -- for tomorrow's gonna be bad enough as it is.