Samantha Newman - Age 5 Quotes in Click (2006)

Samantha Newman - Age 5: Daddy, how much longer are you going to live?

Michael Newman: [to cellphone] One minute.

Samantha Newman - Age 5: One minute?

[grabs hold of his leg]

Samantha Newman - Age 5: Daddy's gonna die in one minute?

Michael Newman: Whoa! No no no, I'm not gonna die, okay? I'm gonna live... 200 more years, is that long enough for you and me?

Samantha Newman - Age 5: You promise?

Michael Newman: I promise!

[hugs her]

Michael Newman: Yes! Look at me. All showered and dressed and looking sexy. I like that. I...

Samantha Newman - Age 5: Did you smoke crack, Daddy?

Michael Newman: Samantha. One day, you are going to be the hottest chick in the world, but you still gotta have brains. So tomorrow, I'm going to teach you Calculus.

Samantha Newman - Age 5: You know Calculus?

Michael Newman: Uh, I knew you'd call me on that, alright, your mother will teach you.

Ted: Benjamin, what do I have in my hand?

Trudy: A quarter.

Ted: Now, Grandma doesn't let me eat ice cream because of my diabetes.

Trudy: True.

Ted: But she says nothing about a tasty quarter.

[bites off half of it]

Ted: Alright, please, very quickly, count to 3, it tastes terrible. One...

Ted, Trudy, Ben at 7-Years-Old, Donna Newman: Two, three.

[Ted spits the quarter back into one piece]

Trudy: Ahh!

Ben at 7-Years-Old: Are you shitting me?

Trudy: First he's eating like his father and now you're talking like him?

Donna Newman: Ben!

Trudy: Don't you EVER say that again!

Ben at 7-Years-Old: Sorry, Grandma.

Samantha Newman - Age 5: HOW did you do that, Grandpa?

Ted: A good magician NEVER reveals his secrets, your daddy's been wanting to know how I did it since he was your age.

Donna Newman: Honey, you were so great.

Michael Newman: Whoa, what are you, half a dolphin or something? That was incredible.

Ben at 7-Years-Old: You just got here, Dad. I saw you.

Michael Newman: What do you mean I just got here? Why are you saying that? I saw you. You jumped in there, you swam here.

Samantha Newman - Age 5: Then what stroke was he doing, Dad?

Michael Newman: He was doing the "shut-up".

[Samantha laughs]

Michael Newman: [after a year fast forwarded and his kids are getting bigger] I promise, I'm not going to work tonight, I'm going to stay home with you, and we're going to watch Dragon Tales.

Ben at 7-Years-Old: Dragon Tales is for babies, Dad.

Samantha Newman - Age 5: Yeah, let's go watch CSI.

Ben at 7-Years-Old: Yeah! CSI!

Samantha Newman - Age 5: [leaving the table] It's the one where they find the lady's arm.

Michael Newman: [to Donna] I missed the whole Dragon Tales era?

Michael Newman: [Ben and Samantha creep up to the Twinkie box beside Michael sleeping on the couch, he suddenly slams his hand on the box and lets out a yell, making them jump back] What was going on here, huh?

Samantha Newman - Age 5: [laughing] We thought you were sleeping, Daddy.

Michael Newman: How can I sleep with two Twinkie burglers roaming around?