Samantha Jones Quotes in Sex and the City 2 (2010)

Samantha Jones: There ought to be a law against hiring a nanny who looks like that.

Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, the Jude Law.

Samantha Jones: Now why would Liza agree to this?

Miranda Hobbes: It's the law of physics. Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Liza manifests.

Charlotte York: How are you gonna swallow all those?

[referring to Samantha's handful of pills]

Samantha Jones: Have we met?

Samantha Jones: Lawrence of my labia!

Samantha Jones: [after her condoms fall out of her purse in the market in front of a bunch of angry men] Yes! Condoms! I have SEX!

Samantha Jones: [hearing that Charlotte wants to buy her children gifts, which might make them miss their flight] Buy them some *crap* at the airport!

Samantha Jones: I'm having a hot flash.

Carrie Bradshaw: You're fine.

Samantha Jones: Seriously. They're starting.

Carrie Bradshaw: You're on a camel in the middle of the Arabian desert. If you're not having a hot flash, you're dead.

Samantha Jones: [after singing "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar"] I am a woman! I'm at that table!

Samantha Jones: One week in Abu Dubai. All expenses paid.

Carrie Bradshaw: I always been fascinated by the Middle East. You know, desert moons, magic carpets.

Lily York Goldenblatt: Like Jasmine and Aladdin.

Carrie Bradshaw: Yes, sweetie! Just like Jasmine, but with cocktails.

Charlotte York: It really sounds exciting. When are you gonna go?

Samantha Jones: [modest tone] I don't know... When can you all be free?

[Everyone stare at her]

Samantha Jones: You didn't think I was going without my gals? All expenses paid for all four of us. All we have to do is pick the week, and the sooner the better!

Miranda Hobbes: Let me just check my work schedule.

[Looks at her cellphone really quick]

Miranda Hobbes: Yeah! All clear!

Carrie Bradshaw: Well I gotta check... but I'm good to go Middle East, sweetie!

Samantha Jones: [all excited] Charlotte! How's three weeks from now?

Charlotte York: Oh, I... I don't know.

Samantha Jones: [demanding tone] I go to children's birthday parties for YOU! You're going to Abu Dhabi for ME!

Miranda Hobbes: Children's birthday parties. Pulling out the big guns.

Charlotte York: Ah... okay.

Samantha Jones: [obliviously] Thank you!

Samantha Jones: The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don't know how to screw you.

Samantha Jones: I'm gonna say the one thing you aren't supposed to say. I love you... but I love me more. I've been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and that's the one I need to work on.

Carrie Bradshaw: Well, honey, what have you been eating?

Samantha Jones: Everything except Dante's dick.

Samantha Jones: Relationships aren't just about being happy. I mean, how often are you happy in your relationship?

Charlotte York: Every day.

Samantha Jones: Every day?

Charlotte York: Well, not all day every day but yes, every day.

Samantha Jones: I can't color enough, I would color all day every day If I had my way, I would use every crayon in my box

Carrie Bradshaw: We get it! You like to color...

Samantha Jones: A lot of shit went down in this apartment. Attention must be paid!

Samantha Jones: [calls Carrie on Valentine's Day] Just calling to make sure you aren't hanging from your shower rod.

Samantha Jones: I feel the same way as you feel about Botox. Painful and unnecessary.

Samantha Jones: [hands Carrie her iPhone, which Carrie returns somewhat disgusted]

Carrie Bradshaw: I don't know how to work this!

Charlotte York: I always knew she'd marry Big.

Samantha Jones: You thought that after the second break up?

Charlotte York: Yep.

Miranda Hobbes: After the fifteenth?

Carrie Bradshaw: Ha ha, we broke up a lot.

Carrie Bradshaw: Lets go down to the hotel for dinner tonight, I need to get myself out of my Mexi-coma.

Samantha Jones: Aww, you made a little joke. Good for you!

Jerry 'Smith' Jerrod: You seem distant.

Samantha Jones: Distant? You're still in me.

Samantha Jones: Happy fucking Valentine's Day.

Samantha Jones: Don't blame marriage. This one's married and she's not growing a national forest.

Samantha Jones: So here's to the groom, who finally got Carried away.

Samantha Jones: Jesus honey! Wax much?

Miranda Hobbes: What? My marriage is going through a rough spot. I dont have time to wax!

Samantha Jones: I could be on death row and not have that *situation*!

Samantha Jones: Is a relationship saying his name fifty times more a day than my own?

Samantha Jones: Hey dick-wad, I'm speaking.

Samantha Jones: [meeting a naked Dante] I'm sorry. I'm your neighbor and my dog ran up on your dick... deck!

Samantha Jones: This is my second most favorite thing I've found in there.

Samantha Jones: Oh, honey, you made a little joke. Good for you!

Samantha Jones: You see? This is how it starts. Next thing you know, we're only having sex three or four times a week.

Samantha Jones: Here we come.