Rafael Quotes in Rio (2011)

Blu: So, how far is it to this Luiz?

Rafael: Not far! Thirty minutes, as the crow flies.

Blu: I see... and how far as the macaw walks?

Jewel: Bo-Bo here can't fly.

Rafael: But, he's a bird!

Blu: Not all birds fly! There are ostriches...

Jewel: You are NOT an ostrich!

Blu: Well... not technically.

Rafael: [as he watches Blu getting closer to Jewel] There he goes! That's my boy!

[Blu tries to wrap his wing around Jewel but stops mid-way as Jewel looks at him]

Blu: Ooh! Is it hot? I... I think I'm... I'm sweating! I didn't even think that was biologically possible. I get... look?

[he holds up his wing]

Jewel: Oh. Wow.

Nico: [as they watch Blu make a fool of himself] Yeah! That's your boy, alright.

Rafael: Okay, so he needs a little help. Well, come on. Let's give him some. Set the mood.

Pedro: Alright, look. I'm on it. I know how to set the mood. Check it out!

[he starts dancing and rapping]

Pedro: Get it-get it-get it-get it-get it-get it girl! Get-ge-get-ge-get it girl! Take her, take her to the flow! Show her, show her how you roll! Drop it! Drop it! Drop it low! Drop it, d-drop it low!

Rafael: Woah, woah, woah! What kind of mood is that?

Nico: Pedro, Pedro, a little too aggressive. Not hatin' on your creativity, but I think I got this one. Follow my lead.

Rafael: Okay, I need you two to get closer.

[Blu and Jewel move an inch closer together]

Rafael: Closer!

[they move another inch closer]

Rafael: Closer!

[they move closer, standing side by side]

Rafael: Nice! Now put your wings around each other.

Blu: What?

Rafael: Come on, amigo! It's not like she's gonna bite! Will you?

Jewel: We'll see.

Jewel: Luiz is a bulldog?

Luiz: You got something against dogs?

Jewel: I do when they're drooling on me.

Luiz: It's a medical condition.

Luiz: No! No! Hey, amigo, we really need you.

Luiz: She's mean, bro.

Rafael: Luiz, come on! Please! Please! We need your help.

[holds up the chain holding Blu and Jewel together]

Luiz: Hmm. I think I know what to do.

Blu: Rafael, quit following me. You're going in the wrong direction. Isn't carnival that way?

Rafael: I'm not going to carnival. No, I'm going home.

Blu: But I thought you loved carnival.

Rafael: I do. But I love my family much more. And that's a choice I made with this.

[points to Blu's heart]

Rafael: Not with this.

[points to Blu's head]

Rafael: [Flying alongside trolley, whispering to Blu] Down here! Just tell her: "you have beautiful eyes".

Blu: That's good! Great idea!

[to Jewel, with confidence]

Blu: I have beautiful eyes.

Blu: This is the coolest place I've ever seen! You know, despite the obvious health code violations!

Rafael: Ha-ha! I like you, nothing you say makes any sense!

Rafael: Eva, my love, I must take the couple to see Luiz.

Eva: Luiz? Hmph! You don't fool me for a second. You and your amigo just want to sneak off to Carnaval.

Rafael: Carnaval, that magical time when I met the most beautiful in the world.

Blu: Yeah. Sounds great. It's not like were just throwing ourselves off of a mountain... right?

Rafael: Actually, that was pretty much my entire plan.

Blu: What?'!

Rafael: Don't worry, Blu. It's in your DNA. And if our featherless friends can do it, how hard can it be?

Man on glider: No, wait!

[screams]

Man on glider: Mommy!

Rafael: Fun, right?

Blu: Yeah... fun.

Blu: Oh Man, we threw down!

Jewel: Yeah, we threw down!

Rafael: You guys were like fire and ice!

Nico: Thunder and lightning!

Pedro: Hip and hop!

Blu: Cheese and sprinkles!

[Everybody stares]

Blu: It's a Minnesota thing...

Blu: So, uh... how far is this Luiz?

Rafael: Not far. Thirty minutes as the crow flies.

Blu: Uh... and how long as the macaw walks?

Jewel: Bobo here can't fly.

Rafael: But... but he's a bird!

Blu: Not all birds fly. There are ostriches.

Jewel: You are not an ostrich!

Blu: Well, not technically, but...

Rafael: Wait, wait, wait! My friends, I wanna help, but to walk the whole way, it... it... it can't be done!

[he suddenly notices his kids clambering around his wife asking after him]

Rafael: But hey, we might as well give it a shot. Let's go, quickly.

[he turns Blu and Jewel around and walks away quietly; Jewel turns to look at the kids]

Jewel: [referring to Rafael's children] Oh! Precious, aren't they?

Rafael: Kids! Seventeen of 'em! And one on the way.

[shouting to two of his children shaking an unhatched egg]

Rafael: Hey! He is not a baraka! Stop shaking him!

[turning to Blu and Jewel]

Rafael: They're giving me grey feathers! Oh, this papa needs a break!

Rafael: So, you two lovebirds headed for carnival?

Jewel: Wow! Love birds?

Blu: We're more like acquaintance birds.

Jewel: And not even that! We're more like chained-to-each-other birds.

Blu: Yeah. I... I mean... aaah!

[one of Rafael kids pulls his feather]

Blu: What is it with this kid and feathers?

Rafael: We have no idea. We're having him tested.

Rafael: Eva, my love. I must take this couple to see Luiz.

Eva: Luiz? Huh! You don't fool me for a second. You and your amigo just want to sneak off to carnival.

Rafael: Oh, carnival! that magical time when I met the most beautiful bird in the world.

[he hugs Eva and blows an air kiss towards her]

Eva: Aah!

[Jewel huffs at Blu with disgust]

Rafael: [as Eva sings out of tune] Like a river of the sweetest honey.

[Blu and Jewel wince as Eva sings]

Jewel: Ooh! I guess love is deaf too.

Blu: [as he looks down the edge of a cliff] I've changed my mind! Yeah. Uh, maybe we could find a... a bus schedule or something?

Rafael: Come on! You're not gonna back out now, Not in front of the lady!

Blu: Uh... huh! Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, sure.

Rafael: All right! That's the spirit!

Jewel: You're sure you're up for this?

Blu: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, well it's not like we're just hurling ourselves off a mountain or something, right?

Rafael: Actually, that was pretty much my entire plan.

Blu: What?

Rafael: No. Don't worry, Blu. It's in your DNA. And if our featherless friends can do it, how hard can it be?

[just then a human tourist hand gliding off the cliff shouts out for help]

Man on glider: Mommy!

Blu: Fun, right?

Blu: Yeah. Fun.

Rafael: [to Blu and Jewel who are standing side by side] Now, you flap your right wing, you flap your left wing, and together, you fly!

Blu: Uh... but this doesn't seem aerodynamically possible!

Rafael: Ey-ya-ya-ya-ya! You think too much! Fly! It's not what you think up here.

[points to Blu's head]

Rafael: It's what you feel in here.

[points to Blu's heart]

Rafael: And when you feel the rhythm of your heart, it's like Samba! You fly!

Rafael: [as Rafael is demonstrating flying to Blu] See, it's easy!

Blu: Easy? Easy for you to say. 'Cause from... from here it looks really, really hard!

Jewel: Hey, if you want to see Linda again, this is the only way.

Blu: Okay, you're right.

Jewel: Yes, I am.

Blu: This is for Linda.

Jewel: Right!

Blu: Keep it simple.

Jewel: Easy-breezy.

Blu: Thrust, lift, drag.

Jewel: Oh, come on! Let's go!

[she drags him along]

Blu: Wait!

Rafael: [after Blu and Jewel have landed on top of a hand glider's wings] All right, Blu! You're flying! Sort of. Not really. But do you feel it?

Blu: Yes! I do feel it.

Rafael: [after Blu and Jewel have crash landed to the ground from Blu's failed attempt at flying] You did not feel it in here.

[pointing to his heart]

Jewel: [sarcastically] You think?

Rafael: I'm gonna chew through my own leg if this doesn't come off soon!

Rafael: Relax. If I know Luiz, we're right where we wanna be.

Nico: Hey, Ralfie! If it isn't the king of carnival!

Rafael: Nico! Pedro! What up, family?

Pedro: Where you been hidin' yourself, bird?

Nico: Man, I thought you were dead!

Pedro: Hold up! Rewind!

[going towards Blu]

Pedro: Ain't that the bird from the cage?

Nico: I think our love lessons went down smooth.

Pedro: You work fast!

Nico: Baby got big!

Pedro: You was locked up and now you're rollin' up with a hot wing! Woo! I wanna be like you!

Blu: Oh, no, no! It's not what you think. We're just uh... chained together.

Nico: Hey, I'm not judging you.

Blu: [as they enter a club full of birds dancing and thumping with music] This is the coolest place I've ever seen! Despite all the obvious health code violations.

Rafael: I like you! Nothing you say makes any sense!

Blu: [as they've gotten away from the monkeys] Man, we threw down!

Jewel: Yeah, we threw down!

Rafael: You guys were like fire and ice!

Nico: Thunder and lightnin'!

Pedro: Hip 'n' hop!

Blu: Cheese and sprinkles!

[they all stop laughing and give Blu a strange look]

Blu: It's a Minnesota thing.

[they all laugh]

Rafael: You see? Nothing you say makes any sense!

Rafael: [whispering to Blu] Blu, just tell her how you feel.

Blu: [turns to Jewel] Jewel?

Jewel: Yeah?

Blu: I've been wanting to tell you, that I... that I...

[suddenly chokes on a floating flower petal]

Jewel: Oh, how sweet. You're getting choked up.

[turns to look at Blu and realizes he's really choking]

Jewel: Oh! Oh! You're choking! Uh, okay! All right!

[she starts giving him the heimlich maneuver]

Rafael: [they watch in dismay as Jewel gives Blu the Heimlich maneuver] Yep. That's my boy.

Rafael: [as he notices Blu and Jewel starting to argue] Okay! Okay! You know what? This is good. Just clear the air. Just be completely honest with each other.

Blu: You want honesty? Fine. Fine, I can be honest. I don't belong here. In fact, I never wanted to come here in the first place. And... and... and you know what? I hate Samba!

Pedro: [Rafael, Nico and Pedro gasp with shock and Nico bursts into tears] Hey! That's a little too far!

Nico: [to Pedro] Make the mean bird take it back!

Blu: Yeah! I said it! Every song sounds exactly the same.

[he mimics the samba music and dance]

Blu: Tico-taco, ya-ya-ya! Tico-taco, ya-ya-ya! Urrgh! I'm tico-taco outta here.

Jewel: Fine! See you around, pet!

[Jewel flies away and Blu walks away]

Rafael: No, no, ,no! Wait, wait, wait! Come back! You belong together! You are Juliet to his Romeo! Sure they both die in the end, but you get my point!

[Nico and Pedro towards Rafael]

Rafael: Ah, young love! Always so melodramatic. All right, boys. Go after her.

Rafael: [Blu and Linda have just noticed each other at the carnival] Blu! Blu! We found her!

Pedro: She's on some, like, weird chicken float.

Rafael: Come on!

Blu: Let's go get Jewel.

Blu: [in the smugglers' float] Hey, Jewel?

Jewel: Blu!

Blu: I'm gonna get you outta here.

Jewel: No, no! You can't be here! You have to go! Nigel is...

[suddenly Nigel attacks Blu and throws Blu in a cage]

Nigel: Hello, pretty bird. So kind of you to join our little soiree.

Blu: Oh, come on! You really think I came alone? I got three of the roughest, meanest, craziest birds in all of Rio right behind me.

Pedro: Woohoo! You know there guys!

[Blu sees that Nigel has placed Nico, Pedro and Rafael in a cage nearby]

Pedro: We're saved! That's right! That's right! That's right!

Rafael: Uh... I think he means us.

Pedro: Oh.

Nigel: Ah, love! It's such a powerful and stupid thing.

Rafael: Pssst! Blu, down here. Just tell her, "You have beautiful eyes".

Blu: That's good. Great idea!

[he turns to Jewel]

Blu: I have beautiful eyes.

Jewel: Aah... yeah. Okay, Sure. They're... they're nice.

Rafael: [flying low, whispers to Blu] No! Her eyes! Her eyes!

Blu: Oh, right! Yeah!

[turns to Jewel]

Blu: Your eyes. Your eyes are great. Not mine. I mean, you know, mine are okay. But yours, I-I bet you can see right through them.

Rafael: You guys are late.

Pedro: Clock late.

Nico: But musician early.

Roberto Canessa: [Canessa notices the uninjured Fraga wearing a coat] You took this coat off a girl back there, didn't you?

Fraga, the Mechanic: No!

Rafael: Yeah, he did, Roberto! It's Susanna Parrado's coat!

Roberto Canessa: [to Rafael] Put it back on her.

[Rafael goes to give her the coat]

Roberto Canessa: [to Fraga] If you take it off her again, I'll kill you.

[when trying to pay for the movie "Perfect Crime," the code says "Ferpect Crime"]

Rafael: It's "Perfect", with a P... and there it reads..."Ferpect", with an F.

Clerk: Yes, but the price is right, isn't it?

Rafael: It's "Perfect", but it reads "Ferpect." Why?

Clerk: It must be a typo.

Rafael: Fuck. "Ferpect Crime."

Rafael: Ours is not a Sunday afternoon quickie. It's murder!

Rafael: That would slowly became a game with only one rule: If I don't do whatever she says, then she'll call to the police.

Lourdes: You ain't goin' to go anywhere.

Rafael: You are... threatening me?

Lourdes: Yes.

Don Antonio: What you really have to do is kill her once and for all.

Rafael: Don Antonio, this is not right at all. You are dead, you can't chat with me.

Rafael: And... I try to be humble. But I just can't!

Lourdes: Say that you love me.

Rafael: Eh?

Lourdes: SAY... IT... NOW!

Rafael: I love you.

Azalea: God will guide us through this time.

Rafael: God is busy some place else.

Azalea: [planting rice] It's been so long since we did this. Remember?

Rafael: I remember you were working right ahead of me. I got to watch your behind all day long.

Azalea: Rafael!

Rafael: It blocks more of the view these days.

Azalea: Not in front of these men!

Chief: This democracy is not so bad, is it?

Rafael: Not bad. If the Americans would do away, I'd love to try it.

Azalea: You're a lucky man.

Rafael: Good luck always makes me worry.