Pedro Quotes in Rio (2011)

Rafael: [as he watches Blu getting closer to Jewel] There he goes! That's my boy!

[Blu tries to wrap his wing around Jewel but stops mid-way as Jewel looks at him]

Blu: Ooh! Is it hot? I... I think I'm... I'm sweating! I didn't even think that was biologically possible. I get... look?

[he holds up his wing]

Jewel: Oh. Wow.

Nico: [as they watch Blu make a fool of himself] Yeah! That's your boy, alright.

Rafael: Okay, so he needs a little help. Well, come on. Let's give him some. Set the mood.

Pedro: Alright, look. I'm on it. I know how to set the mood. Check it out!

[he starts dancing and rapping]

Pedro: Get it-get it-get it-get it-get it-get it girl! Get-ge-get-ge-get it girl! Take her, take her to the flow! Show her, show her how you roll! Drop it! Drop it! Drop it low! Drop it, d-drop it low!

Rafael: Woah, woah, woah! What kind of mood is that?

Nico: Pedro, Pedro, a little too aggressive. Not hatin' on your creativity, but I think I got this one. Follow my lead.

Pedro: I aint yo princess, leave me alone! Did you say... TALONS?

Pedro: This ain't the level, the next level's the level!

Pedro: [as they watch Nigel take Jewel by force] Hey! Get back here! Ain't nobody mess with a friend of Pedro! I ain't havin' it! It's on!

[he starts punching the air]

Nico: What are you on? Did you see the talons on that guy?

Pedro: Talons? Maybe it's on next time.

[they turn and fly away]

Nico: Ralfieeee!

Pedro: Blu! Help!

Nico: Help!

Pedro: Yippie-ki-yay, monkey-man!

Pedro: [breaking a stare-off] Birds versus monkeys!

Blu: Oh Man, we threw down!

Jewel: Yeah, we threw down!

Rafael: You guys were like fire and ice!

Nico: Thunder and lightning!

Pedro: Hip and hop!

Blu: Cheese and sprinkles!

[Everybody stares]

Blu: It's a Minnesota thing...

Pedro: Gotta keep it spicy! You gotta puff out that chest, swing that tail, eyes narrowed, like some kind of crazy love hawk!

Pedro: Drop it, drop it, drop it low!

Pedro: Freedom!

Pedro: I'm gonna pop this cage open like a soda can!

Pedro: Did you say... talons?

Pedro: I'm the samba masta!

Blu: [Nico and Pedro approach Blu] I... am... not... from... here.

Pedro: Hey, Nico, he's a tourist!

Nico: Funny, you don't look like one.

Blu: Really? I... I don't?

Pedro: Except you got pigeon doodle on your nose.

[Blu wipes the sun cream from his beak]

Blu: Oh no no, this is just SPF three thousand.

Nico: Hey, Ralfie! If it isn't the king of carnival!

Rafael: Nico! Pedro! What up, family?

Pedro: Where you been hidin' yourself, bird?

Nico: Man, I thought you were dead!

Pedro: Hold up! Rewind!

[going towards Blu]

Pedro: Ain't that the bird from the cage?

Nico: I think our love lessons went down smooth.

Pedro: You work fast!

Nico: Baby got big!

Pedro: You was locked up and now you're rollin' up with a hot wing! Woo! I wanna be like you!

Blu: Oh, no, no! It's not what you think. We're just uh... chained together.

Nico: Hey, I'm not judging you.

Blu: [as they've gotten away from the monkeys] Man, we threw down!

Jewel: Yeah, we threw down!

Rafael: You guys were like fire and ice!

Nico: Thunder and lightnin'!

Pedro: Hip 'n' hop!

Blu: Cheese and sprinkles!

[they all stop laughing and give Blu a strange look]

Blu: It's a Minnesota thing.

[they all laugh]

Rafael: You see? Nothing you say makes any sense!

Jewel: [as she's happily flying, Jewel notices Blu walking away sadly] Hey, where you going?

[Blu ignores her and keeps on walking]

Jewel: Blu? Blu, what's wrong?

Blu: Nothing. Everything's perfect. You'll be off to the rain forest. I'll be back with Linda. Just like we planned.

Jewel: I...

[Nico and Pedro fly down towards them]

Nico: Hey, birds! Stop yappin' and start flappin'! Let's go!

Jewel: I... I... I guess I thought maybe...

Blu: What? That you... you'd come to Minnesota?

[Jewel just looks at him]

Blu: Great! I guess I... I'll knit you a scarf.

Jewel: No, that's not what I meant.

Blu: Look, Jewel, I can't spend my life walking around following you wherever you're going.

Jewel: Hey, it's not my fault you can't fly.

Pedro: [to Nico as they watch Blu and Jewel] Awkward!

Rafael: [as he notices Blu and Jewel starting to argue] Okay! Okay! You know what? This is good. Just clear the air. Just be completely honest with each other.

Blu: You want honesty? Fine. Fine, I can be honest. I don't belong here. In fact, I never wanted to come here in the first place. And... and... and you know what? I hate Samba!

Pedro: [Rafael, Nico and Pedro gasp with shock and Nico bursts into tears] Hey! That's a little too far!

Nico: [to Pedro] Make the mean bird take it back!

Blu: Yeah! I said it! Every song sounds exactly the same.

[he mimics the samba music and dance]

Blu: Tico-taco, ya-ya-ya! Tico-taco, ya-ya-ya! Urrgh! I'm tico-taco outta here.

Jewel: Fine! See you around, pet!

[Jewel flies away and Blu walks away]

Rafael: No, no, ,no! Wait, wait, wait! Come back! You belong together! You are Juliet to his Romeo! Sure they both die in the end, but you get my point!

[Nico and Pedro towards Rafael]

Rafael: Ah, young love! Always so melodramatic. All right, boys. Go after her.

Rafael: [Blu and Linda have just noticed each other at the carnival] Blu! Blu! We found her!

Pedro: She's on some, like, weird chicken float.

Rafael: Come on!

Blu: Let's go get Jewel.

Blu: [in the smugglers' float] Hey, Jewel?

Jewel: Blu!

Blu: I'm gonna get you outta here.

Jewel: No, no! You can't be here! You have to go! Nigel is...

[suddenly Nigel attacks Blu and throws Blu in a cage]

Nigel: Hello, pretty bird. So kind of you to join our little soiree.

Blu: Oh, come on! You really think I came alone? I got three of the roughest, meanest, craziest birds in all of Rio right behind me.

Pedro: Woohoo! You know there guys!

[Blu sees that Nigel has placed Nico, Pedro and Rafael in a cage nearby]

Pedro: We're saved! That's right! That's right! That's right!

Rafael: Uh... I think he means us.

Pedro: Oh.

Nigel: Ah, love! It's such a powerful and stupid thing.

Pedro: [before the fight with the marmosets] Little King Kong!

Nico: So, are you here for carnival?

Blu: Oh, actually, I'm just here to meet uh... a girl.

Nico: Aahhh, a girl.

Blu: Yes.

Nico: Little word of advice. You make the first move. Brazilian ladies respond to confidence.

Blu: Oh, right.

Pedro: Yeah! It's all about swagger. You gotta puff out that chest, swing that tail, eyes narrow, like some kind of crazy love hawk!

[he squawks like a hawk]

Nico: But first, we gotta bust you out!

Blu: What?

Pedro: Yeah! I'mma pop that cage open like a soda can!

Blu: No!

[Pedro tries desperately to break the metal bar on the cage Blu's in]

Blu: No, no, that's okay.

[Pedro, exhausted, stops pounding the metal bar]

Nico: You call that poppin'?

Pedro: Wooh! This thing's robust!

Blu: No, no, no, guys, really. I'm fine. The cage is great. Love the cage.

Nico: Oh, well. Suit yourself.

Pedro: Hey, don't forget. Love hawk!

[he squawks and flies away with Nico]

Blu: I am going to the Amazon. Yay.

Pedro: Like the website?

Luiz: So you're going to the Amazon? That place is wild!

Blu: I'm sure it's nothing I can't handle. Wait, how wild?

Luiz: Real wild.

Nico: There's snakes that swallow you whole.

Pedro: Mosquitoes that suck out your blood like a Slurpee.

Luiz: Flesh-eating piranhas that eat... flesh.

Rafael: You guys are late.

Pedro: Clock late.

Nico: But musician early.

[last lines]

Pedro: [to Nico during a climaxing song and dance number] Lift the end!

[motions to Nico's bottle cap, with Nico tilting it]

Boris: Ah, but remember, my friends. Even Tramp has his Achilles heel.

Pedro: Pardon me, amigo. What is this chili deal?

Boris: Achilles heel, Pedro. This is meaning his, uh, weaknesses.

Toughy: Oh! Oh, the dames. Yeah.

Bulldog in Pound: He has an eye for a well-turned paw, he has. Let's see, there's been Lulu...

Toughy: Yeah, and Trixie...

Dachsie: Und Fifi...

Pedro: And my sister, Rosita Chiquita Juanita Chihuahua. I think.

Santa: [Santa, Mrs Santa & Steve have arrived in Trelew on the S-1] Trelew! Out with the Old, In with the New!

Mrs. Santa: [Holding Santa's Hand] Well Done, Dear!

Santa: [Back on the Bridge of the S-1 as Steve has gone to give Gwen what we believe to be another version of the bike] Poor Arthur! He tried so hard! He slumped again!

Mrs. Santa: Off course not, Dear! We are here! The little girl will get her present! I think he has done rather Splendidly!

Santa: [Exclaiming] My Margaret!

Steve: [Rings the doorbell, the door opens and a child that looks just like Gwen appears] Good morning Gwen! Ho Ho Ho etc. Apologies for the minor delay, I am sure that even a child can understand that in a operation as complex as Christmas there is always a slightly insignificant margin of error, which is you! As a gesture, I have upgraded you to the

Steve: [Reveals the big purple hi-tech bicycle]

Steve: Glamour Fast Ultra X3, which retails at $9.99 more than your requested gift! Bigger and Better! You wouldn't mind just signing a legal waver?

Pedro: [the child appears to be a boy] No bien el señor! Soy Pedro!

Steve: What? P-Pedro? A Boy? A Spanish Boy? This is an error! No Hablo Espanol!

Steve: [Snatches the bike off Pedro]

Steve: [Pedro and Steve start fighting, Pedro starts weeping and wailing in a tantrum, Mr & Mrs Santa back up on the S-1's bridge can see the commotion on the S-1's Steve-cam] Look! Will you...? No! No! No! Please don't cry! Please don't cry! No crying! No sobbing!

Pedro: Yo, you think that'll keep him out of Heaven?

Mickey: What are you, kidding me? Jesus Christ himself would of laughed at that, it was hillarious.

Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?

Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.

Pedro: Like what are my skills?

Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.

Napoleon Dynamite: What kind of bike do you have?

Pedro: It's a sledgehammer.

Napoleon Dynamite: Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?

Napoleon Dynamite: [Cut to Pedro jumping] You got like three feet of air that time.

Napoleon Dynamite: [referring to the dance] Who are you gonna ask?

Pedro: That girl over there.

Napoleon Dynamite: Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that?

Pedro: Build her a cake or something.

Pedro: Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true.

Napoleon Dynamite: Why do you got your hood on like that?

Pedro: Well, when I came home from school my head started to get really hot. So I drank some cold water, but it didn't do nothing. So I laid in the bathtub for a while, but then I realized that it was my hair that was making my head hot. So I went into my kitchen and I shaved it all off. I don't want anyone to see.

Napoleon Dynamite: I know what you mean.

Napoleon Dynamite: Well, nobody's going to go out with *me*!

Pedro: Have you asked anybody yet?

Napoleon Dynamite: No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills.

Pedro: What do you mean?

Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like numchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!

Pedro: Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like animals and warriors and stuff?

Napoleon Dynamite: Yes... Probably the best that I know of.

Pedro: Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something.

Napoleon Dynamite: That's a pretty good idea.

Napoleon Dynamite: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.

Pedro: Why?

Napoleon Dynamite: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.

Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?

Napoleon Dynamite: No. Not unless she likes fish.

Napoleon Dynamite: So, we're pretty much friends by now, right?

Pedro: Yes.

Napoleon Dynamite: So, you got my back and everything, right?

Pedro: What?

Napoleon Dynamite: Never mind.

Pedro: Did you draw her a picture?

Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes I did!

Pedro: They're pretty good, except for one little problem. That little guy right there. He is nipple number five. A good dairy cow should have, like, four.

Deb: Are they still letting you run for president?

Pedro: Yes. I don't understand... they say you're not allowed to have pinatas that look like real people, but in Mexico, we do it all the time.

Pedro: If I win, you can be my secretary or something.

Napoleon Dynamite: Sweet! Plus I could be your bodyguard, too. Or like, Secret Service Captain, or... whatever...

[trails off]

Napoleon Dynamite: My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn't cause she's doing some modeling right now.

Pedro: Is she *hut*?

Napoleon Dynamite: See for yourself.

[hands him Deb's glamour shot sample]

Pedro: Wow.

Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamour shots for her birthday one year.

Pedro: I like her bangs.

Napoleon Dynamite: Me too.

Pedro: Well, what are you going to wear to the dance?

Napoleon Dynamite: Just like a silk shirt or something. What are you gonna wear?

Pedro: Deb has something for me. But you should probably get a suit.

Napoleon Dynamite: How long did it take you to grow that moustache?

Pedro: A couple of days.

Napoleon Dynamite: Pedro, how do you feel about that one?

Pedro: It looks nice.

Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, it looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome. That suit, it's... it's incredible.

Pedro: Who was that?

Napoleon Dynamite: Trisha.

Pedro: Who's she?

Napoleon Dynamite: My woman I'm taking to the dance.

Pedro: Did you draw her a picture?

Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes I did.

Napoleon Dynamite: [Napoleon sits down with Pedro at lunch] Where have you been?

Pedro: I was *seek*.

Napoleon Dynamite: Has Summer said anything to you yet?

Pedro: No, not yet.

Napoleon Dynamite: Well, she said no.

Pedro: She did?

[Pedro thinks a second]

Pedro: Well, what about that other girl?

Napoleon Dynamite: What other girl?

Pedro: The one that left all that crap on your porch.

Napoleon Dynamite: You mean Deb?

Pedro: Yes her.

Napoleon Dynamite: What about her?

Pedro: Well, I asked her out too.

Napoleon Dynamite: What?

Pedro: Man, what is in this shit, man?

Man Stoner: Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it.

Pedro: What's Labrador?

Man Stoner: It's dog shit.

Pedro: What?

Man Stoner: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.

Pedro: Yeah?

Man Stoner: I had it on the table and the little motherfucker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?

Pedro: You mean we're smokin' dog shit, man?

Man Stoner: Gets ya high, don't it?

[Song, "Rockin' Robin" plays... ]

Man Stoner: I think it's even better than before, you know?

Pedro: Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane tastes like, man.

Border Guard: So, how long you've been in Mexico?

Pedro: A week. I mean a day.

Border Guard: Well, which is it? A week or a day?

Pedro: A weekday.

Man: You wanna get high man?

Pedro: Does Howdy Doody got wooden Balls man?

Pedro: Hey how am I driving, man?

Man Stoner: [looks around] : I think we're parked.

Arresting Officer: Sir, could I please see your license?

Pedro: Whuut?

Arresting Officer: Your license. Where's your license?

Pedro: It's back there on the bumper, man!

Arresting Officer: No, I mean your DRIVER'S license.

Pedro: Oh yeah, I got the bullshit back here man...

[gets license with great difficulty]

Pedro: Hey I thought'a somethin' really funny, man... Your mother!

[laughs]

Arresting Officer: [after dirty look, of course] Sir, what's your name?

Pedro: uuhhh... Isn't in on the license, man? Yeah, that's it! Pedro De Pacas, man, that's my name...

Man Stoner: Hey, hey don't take those, man.

Pedro: ...Wha?

Man Stoner: I almost gave you the wrong shit, man.

Pedro: Hey, man, I already took 'em, man.

Man Stoner: [laughing in astonishment] Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo...

Pedro: Hey, whaddaya mean "ho ho ho ho ho"?

Man Stoner: Oh... HU-WOW, MAN!

Pedro: Hey, what was in that shit, man?

Man Stoner: You just ate the most acid I've ever seen anybody eat in my life!

Pedro: Hey, man, I never had no acid before, man.

Man Stoner: Jeez, I hope you're not busy for about a month...

Pedro: Hey I've seen those guys walking around my neighborhood that took too much acid, man. The one guy, his head's swelled up like a pumpkin...

Man Stoner: [referring to the acid Pedro took] No, that's good acid, man.

Pedro: Another time, there was this guy...

Man Stoner: [on police radio] Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, can you hear me?

Clyde - Narc: Hello, headquarters? Hello, headquarters? Come in, headquarters. This is Officer Clive... we are...

Sgt. Stedenko: Use the codename! The codename!

Clyde - Narc: Headquarters, headquarters come in, please. The is Codename Hardhead.

Sgt. Stedenko: Hat! Hardhat! Give me that! Hello, radio dispatch? This is Codename Hardhat, Codename Hardhat, do you read me? Over.

Man Stoner: Was that Lardass?

Sgt. Stedenko: Hardhat! Codename Hardhat! Do you read, radio dispatch?

Man Stoner: Hey, I got somethin' for ya, Lardass!

Sgt. Stedenko: Hardhat! Hard... Hat! Do you understand?

Pedro: Lardass, Lardass!

Sgt. Stedenko: Hardhat! Radio dispatch, do you know who this is?

Pedro: Naw, who is this is?

Sgt. Stedenko: This is Sergeant Stedenko!

Pedro: Oh yeah, you know who this is?

Sgt. Stedenko: No!

Pedro: Bye-bye, Lardass!

Pedro: I been smoking since I was born, man, I can smoke anything, man. You know like I smoke that Michoacán, and Acapulco Gold, man. I even smoke that tied stick, you know?

Man Stoner: "Tied stick"?

Pedro: Yeah, you know that stuff that's tied to a stick.

Man Stoner: Ohh, THAI stick.

[stoned cop walks up to the van, where Pedro and Man have been trying to switch who's driving]

Cop: What do you guys want?

Pedro: Nothing.

Cop: Hey, do you mind if I have a, bite of your hot dog?

Pedro: Huh? No man, here, take the whole thing.

[the cop takes a huge bite]

Pedro: Want some fritos?

Cop: [through a mouthful of hot dog] no, this is fine! Thank you! Hey, you fellas have a nice day, okay?

Man Stoner: Hey man, what was that dude's trip? I mean what was he on, man?

Pedro: Man, I don't know but I wish we had some of it!

[after picking up Man, Pedro guns his car and takes off down the street]

Man Stoner: Ohhh! Ohhh!

Pedro: Hey, how far you goin' man?

Man Stoner: [points to the curb] Hey, right here would be fine, man!

Pedro: What, you're not afraid of a little speed, are ya man?

Man Stoner: Wha, you got some speed, man?

Pedro: Huh? Speed? Oh, no, I don't got no speed man. But you know what I do got? I got a joint man!

Man Stoner: Oh, wow.

Pedro: [gets it out and hands it to Man] Here, light that thing up man, let's get chinese-eyed.

Man Stoner: [eying the joint] Kinda skinny, isn't it?

Pedro: No, it's a heavy duty joint, man.

Pedro: Kinda looks like a toothpick.

Pedro: Naw, it's not a toothpick, man.

Man Stoner: No, it IS a toothpick, man.

[hands it back to Pedro]

Pedro: [looking at it, puzzled] it IS a toothpick!... wait a minute man, I got the shit right here.

[feels around in his pocket]

Pedro: huh... no, that's my dick.

[feels around some more]

Pedro: , okay, here you go, man.

[hands a skinny, curled up joint to Man]

Man Stoner: [looking at a dinky little joint] Jeez, I hope your dick's bigger than this, man.

Pedro: Hey man, you want to get out and walk, man?

Pedro: It's punk rock, Man! We can do that; we can be punks, Man!

Pedro: Don't worry, man. Those aren't narcs, they're Las Emigras; you know, the Immigration Service looking for illegal aliens.

Man Stoner: What's the Immigration Service doing here, man?

Pedro: My cousin needed a ride to his brother's wedding in Tijuana; so he called the Emigras, man. They'll deport the entire wedding party, man. They get a free bus ride across the border and lunch. When the wedding is over, man, they'll just come back across the border.

Man Stoner: Man my legs hurt.

Pedro: Yeah I bet!

Strawberry: Ahhh, look at that man, the great outdoors, huh!

Pedro: Yeah, the great outdoors...

[gives Strawberry a weird look]

Pedro: [laughing while stoned] Way anchor! How much does it weigh? I don't know, I forgot! pffhhh! Ha ha I saw that in a movie once...!

Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir, what's your name?

Pedro: Whut? I told you my name, man!

Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir... what's YOUR name?

Pedro: [to Man] Hey man! The dude wants to know your name, man!

[Man vomits onto the floor of the car]

Pedro: Uuhhh - His name is RAALLLPH, man!

Man Stoner: No, hey man, if we're gonna wear uniforms man, you know let's have everybody wear something different.

Pedro: Yea, that's it. Yea, we want something wear everybody wears something different man, but the same, you know?

Pedro: How did the war with the United States go, eh?

Tulley Bascombe: We won!

Pedro: Don't forget that you've got to return to the castle ahead of the sunrise because the sun will turn the reindeer into dust.

Santa Claus: Ho ho ho, no siree, no! I'll be here all right. In that case, I couldn't get back to the castle, and on what they use for food I'd perish! Because here our main food is pastries and ice cream made of soft clouds, and on the earth there's no such thing.

Pedro: What food do they eat on Earth, Santa Claus?

Santa Claus: Oh, everything in sight! They eat most of the animals, the plants, the flowers, the roots, birds, even smoke and alcohol!

Bernardo: I don't want to leave you alone.

Pedro: Don't worry about me.

Bernardo: Uncle?

Pedro: What?

Bernardo: When my mother left me here, I didn't want to stay with you.

Pedro: I didn't want you here either, can you believe that?

Bernardo: Now I love you a lot.

Pedro: I love you more.

Bernardo: I love you a lot...

Pedro: [addressing his mother, just before she leaves him at the Farm School] Just now you remember that I'm your son.

Pedro: We go to the catinas where the men are scary, and the women are not welcome.

Mercedes: I'm a coward.

Pedro: No, you're not.

Mercedes: Yes, I am. A coward - for living next to that son of a bitch, doing his laundry, making his bed, feeding him... What if the doctor's right and we can't win?

Pedro: At least we'll make things harder for that bastard.

Pedro: I'm a man of few, but firm, words.

Pedro: My mules are not so stubborn.

Aldonza: Fine. Make love to your mules.

Pedro: I used to think the most terrifying thing in life is death. Now I know the most terrifying thing in life is life.

Pedro: Huh, Capitan Thunder, he's gone loco!