Blu Quotes in Rio (2011)

Blu: So, how far is it to this Luiz?

Rafael: Not far! Thirty minutes, as the crow flies.

Blu: I see... and how far as the macaw walks?

Jewel: Bo-Bo here can't fly.

Rafael: But, he's a bird!

Blu: Not all birds fly! There are ostriches...

Jewel: You are NOT an ostrich!

Blu: Well... not technically.

Blu: [as they're walking in the jungle] Oh! Oh! What was that?

Jewel: A stick.

Blu: Ah! And that?

Jewel: It's just a rock.

Blu: Oh, right. Yeah.

[Blu stops and shudders as he feels something on his back]

Blu: Is that a spider on my back?

Jewel: Will you quit it? It's just a leaf! Turn around!

[Blu turns and we see a huge spider on his back]

Jewel: Oh, um...

[Jewel quickly hits the spider off of Blu's back]

Jewel: Leaf. Told ya.

Rafael: [as he watches Blu getting closer to Jewel] There he goes! That's my boy!

[Blu tries to wrap his wing around Jewel but stops mid-way as Jewel looks at him]

Blu: Ooh! Is it hot? I... I think I'm... I'm sweating! I didn't even think that was biologically possible. I get... look?

[he holds up his wing]

Jewel: Oh. Wow.

Nico: [as they watch Blu make a fool of himself] Yeah! That's your boy, alright.

Rafael: Okay, so he needs a little help. Well, come on. Let's give him some. Set the mood.

Pedro: Alright, look. I'm on it. I know how to set the mood. Check it out!

[he starts dancing and rapping]

Pedro: Get it-get it-get it-get it-get it-get it girl! Get-ge-get-ge-get it girl! Take her, take her to the flow! Show her, show her how you roll! Drop it! Drop it! Drop it low! Drop it, d-drop it low!

Rafael: Woah, woah, woah! What kind of mood is that?

Nico: Pedro, Pedro, a little too aggressive. Not hatin' on your creativity, but I think I got this one. Follow my lead.

Rafael: Okay, I need you two to get closer.

[Blu and Jewel move an inch closer together]

Rafael: Closer!

[they move another inch closer]

Rafael: Closer!

[they move closer, standing side by side]

Rafael: Nice! Now put your wings around each other.

Blu: What?

Rafael: Come on, amigo! It's not like she's gonna bite! Will you?

Jewel: We'll see.

Blu: [as he swipes Luiz's drool off his foot] Oh, gross! Haa! But I'm free!

[realizing he's freed from his chain]

Blu: Jewel? Jewel! We're free! Slimy, but free! Contaminated, probably. But free! You believe it's finally...

[Jewel suddenly flies past him, laughing with joy]

Blu: Maybe we could find a bus schedule or something?

Chloe: Well, well, if it isn't my favorite nerd bird!

Blu: Ver... very funny. Real mature!

Alice: Hey, peck! Where you migrating to this year, huh? The breakfast nook?

[Chloe and Alice laugh and throw another snowball at the window]

Blu: Throw all the snow balls you want. I'm protected by this magical forcefield, called glass! It's what keeps us so toasty and warm in here while you guys out there are freezing your...

[looks up and sees Chloe and Alice showing their behinds to him, making fun]

Blu: Classy.

Jewel: I can't believe I have to drag your clumsy butt up there.

Blu: Drag me? Watch and learn.

[he leads the way in climbing the tree house, dragging Jewel behind him]

Jewel: Blu? Just wait! Woah, woah!

Blu: Who's dragging whose butt now, huh?

Jewel: [sarcastically] Ha ha, very funny.

Blu: Rafael, quit following me. You're going in the wrong direction. Isn't carnival that way?

Rafael: I'm not going to carnival. No, I'm going home.

Blu: But I thought you loved carnival.

Rafael: I do. But I love my family much more. And that's a choice I made with this.

[points to Blu's heart]

Rafael: Not with this.

[points to Blu's head]

Rafael: [Flying alongside trolley, whispering to Blu] Down here! Just tell her: "you have beautiful eyes".

Blu: That's good! Great idea!

[to Jewel, with confidence]

Blu: I have beautiful eyes.

Blu: [as Tulio is making strange bird like noises in front of him] Linda! Little help here! Linda?

Linda: Wow! You're actually communicating!

Tulio: Yes! Yes! I introduced myself and shook my tail feathers counter clockwise, thus referring to his dominance.

Blu: [to himself] I did not get that at all.

Jewel: [Blu tries to speak as Jewel is standing on him with one clawed foot holding his throat] Que?

Blu: You're standing on my throat!

[she gets off him]

Jewel: Oh, you're an American!

[Blu clears his throat]

Blu: Thanks. I need my throat for talking. So, thank you.

Jewel: You look like me!

Blu: Oh, hi. Hi. My name is Blu. You know, like the cheese with the mold on it, that smells really bad.

[to himself as he realizes what he's just said]

Blu: That's stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Jewel: Guess this is it.

Blu: Yeah. Quite an adventure.

Jewel: End of the line.

Blu: Ah, yes.

Jewel: Guess things like this don't happen in Tinysota.

Blu: Tinysota? Oh! Wait, Minnesota?

Jewel: Yeah.

[laughs]

Blu: That's very good.

Jewel: Right.

Blu: That's very funny actually.

Jewel: Is there anything else I need to know?

Blu: Yes. I can't fly, I pick my beak, and once in a while I pee in the birdbath! Happy?'!

Blu: You see, who needs flying?

Jewel: Birds! Birds need flying. Flying is... err... freedom, and, and not having to rely on anyone. Don't you want that?

Blu: Hmm, I don't know. Sounds a little lonely.

Blu: This is the coolest place I've ever seen! You know, despite the obvious health code violations!

Rafael: Ha-ha! I like you, nothing you say makes any sense!

Jewel: [Blu throws himself out of the plane and grabs hold of Jewel in the air] Blu! You're crazy! What are you doing?

Blu: I'm not gonna let you go! We're chained-to-each-other birds, remember?

[Jewel kisses Blu]

Blu: Yeah. Sounds great. It's not like were just throwing ourselves off of a mountain... right?

Rafael: Actually, that was pretty much my entire plan.

Blu: What?'!

Rafael: Don't worry, Blu. It's in your DNA. And if our featherless friends can do it, how hard can it be?

Man on glider: No, wait!

[screams]

Man on glider: Mommy!

Rafael: Fun, right?

Blu: Yeah... fun.

Blu: What is natural about getting thrown halfway across the room?

Blu: Oh Man, we threw down!

Jewel: Yeah, we threw down!

Rafael: You guys were like fire and ice!

Nico: Thunder and lightning!

Pedro: Hip and hop!

Blu: Cheese and sprinkles!

[Everybody stares]

Blu: It's a Minnesota thing...

Blu: Natural instincts. There's nothing natural about being thrown halfway across a room. Well, I'll show him.

[reading a book about flying]

Blu: I can do this. I just have to work out the physics. I have quadrated my vector angles. I have adjusted for wind shear. Positive reinforcement. Good. Okay. Let's see. Flaps open.

[opens his wings]

Blu: Perfect. Landing gear.

[wiggles his claws]

Blu: Check. Tail flaps.

[flaps his tail]

Blu: Operational. And actually... not bad.

[as he prepares to fly for the first time]

Blu: This is it! Let's fly! Just keep it simple. Thrust, lift, drag and weight. Thrust, lift, drag, weight.

[speeds up to get off the table]

Blu: Thrust, lift, drag, weight. Thrust, lift, drag, wei... wai... wait!

[gets scared and tries to stop himself, but instead falls from the table]

Blu: [Blu chants to himself with fear whilst trapped in a cage] Okay. Okay. There's no place like home, there's no place like home! Oh, how I wish I was back in my own cage, with my mirror and my swing and my little bell! Oh, how I miss my bell.

Jewel: Shh! Play dead.

[she drops to the floor of the cage]

Blu: I don't need to play dead, I'm about to have a heart attack!

Jewel: Just do it!

Blu: Oh, fine!

[he fakes a fall and starts twitching]

Jewel: Stop twitching!

Blu: Come on! It's the twitching that sells it.

Lead marmoset: You two are coming with me.

Jewel: In your little monkey dreams.

[she spits at him]

Blu: Yeah!

[he tries to spit like Jewel but instead just drools on himself]

Blu: That was meant for you!

Luiz: [as they arrive at carnival to find Jewel] Yeah, baby! Now I can get my freak on!

Blu: Luiz, please! Rescue first. Freak later.

Blu: [Linda places his hot chocolate in front of him] Ah! This is the life. The perfect marshmallow-to-cocoa ratio.

[counting the marshmallows]

Blu: One, two, three, four, five

[another marshmallow floats to the surface]

Blu: six. Mmm.

[takes a sip of his cocoa]

Blu: So, uh... how far is this Luiz?

Rafael: Not far. Thirty minutes as the crow flies.

Blu: Uh... and how long as the macaw walks?

Jewel: Bobo here can't fly.

Rafael: But... but he's a bird!

Blu: Not all birds fly. There are ostriches.

Jewel: You are not an ostrich!

Blu: Well, not technically, but...

Rafael: Wait, wait, wait! My friends, I wanna help, but to walk the whole way, it... it... it can't be done!

[he suddenly notices his kids clambering around his wife asking after him]

Rafael: But hey, we might as well give it a shot. Let's go, quickly.

[he turns Blu and Jewel around and walks away quietly; Jewel turns to look at the kids]

Blu: [Nico and Pedro approach Blu] I... am... not... from... here.

Pedro: Hey, Nico, he's a tourist!

Nico: Funny, you don't look like one.

Blu: Really? I... I don't?

Pedro: Except you got pigeon doodle on your nose.

[Blu wipes the sun cream from his beak]

Blu: Oh no no, this is just SPF three thousand.

Linda: [in the bird sanctuary] So, where's Jewel?

Tulio: Oh, we have a special place for Jewel. She's a very spirited bird.

Aviary Intern: Aahh! I'll say.

[he turns and his face is covered in scratches and bruises]

Blu: She did that? Ah, charming! Okay, I wanna go home now!

Tulio: [as he hears Blu squawk with fear] No, no! Don't worry. I'm gonna make you look irresistible.

Blu: [as he sets eyes on Jewel for the first time] Oh, she's beautiful.

[Blu is mesmerized as she flies towards him]

Blu: What were they talking about? She's... she's like an angel. An angel, who's getting really close.

[suddenly Jewel crashes into him]

Jewel: Are you ready?

Blu: For what?

[he suddenly thinks she's referring to them mating]

Blu: Oh! Oh! Wow! Uuh! Okay.

[to himself]

Blu: Confidence. Crazy love hawk!

[he goes towards her]

Jewel: Alright.

[Blu tries to kiss Jewel]

Jewel: Woah! Hey!

[she pushes him away]

Jewel: What are you doing?

Blu: What? What? What you wanted me to! But just for argument's sake, uh... what are... what are you doing?

Jewel: I'm trying to escape!

[she points to the air conditioning vent]

Blu: Oh, yeah, escape. Tha... that's where I was going with that thing I just did...

Jewel: Wait! Wai-wai-wai-wait! Did you actually think we were gonna kiss?

Blu: No no no no!

Jewel: We just met!

Blu: I mean, I know how my feathers look, but I'm not that kind of bird.

[just then a disco ball comes down, the lights are dimmed and Lionel Richie's 'Say you, Say me' starts playing]

Blu: Okay, I had nothing to do with that. But, that's actually a pretty good song.

[Jewel gives him a look as he starts singing to the music]

Blu: Naturally... Yeah, sing it, Lionel.

[Jewel suddenly jumps onto him]

Blu: Excuse me! Please! I am trying to sleep!

Jewel: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm sorry, sleepy head. I'm trying to escape!

Blu: Escape! Why? This cage is awesome.

Jewel: The cage! Oh, what was I thinking? I wouldn't expect a *pet* to understand.

Blu: Pet? Did you just call me a pet? For the record, I am not a pet! I am a companion. And you know what? Do whatever you want! Cause tomorrow morning, Linda will come for me and this whole nightmare will be over.

Jewel: Incredible! You would rather be with a... a... a human than with your own kind!

Blu: Well, that human has given me love and affection for the past fifteen years, whereas my own kind tries to strangle me after fifteen seconds.

Jewel: Yeah, well, because of them, I've lost everything. You can't trust them!

Blu: Of course you can trust humans!

[he hears Jewel make a noise]

Blu: Jewel? Jewel?

[he sees a man hover over him]

Blu: Oh! Hi there.

[the man puts a bag over Blu's head]

Blu: [after Jewel has been caught and placed back in the cage with Blu] That was your plan? To take off and leave me? Gee, thanks!

Jewel: Well, why didn't you follow me?

Blu: Uh...

[doesn't reply as he's too embarrassed to admit he can't fly]

Blu: [trapped in their cage in a room full of the other trapped animals] Okay. Pull it together. The key is not to panic.

Jewel: I'm not panicking!

Blu: I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to me. But it's okay, because any minute now, Linda will find us.

Jewel: Oh, great! And then she'll stick us behind another set of bars, right?

Blu: Yeah! I... I mean, no!

Jewel: Look, pet cages might work for you, but I don't want to belong to anyone.

Nigel: [jumping onto the cage Blu and Jewel are being held in] Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdy. But I used to be quite a looker.

[shows them a poster with himself looking dashing on it]

Nigel: A star! Lights. Camera. Action!

[he starts singing]

Nigel: I was striking, suave, ambitious. Feet to beak. So bodylicious. Now I am wild. I am villainous and vicious. Oh! And malicious. I had it all. A TV show. Women too! I was tall, over one foot two! And then they got a pretty parakeet to fill my shoes. That's why I'm so evil why I do what I do!

[a chorus of birds starts singing]

Chorus of birds: He was a super star!

Nigel: So young and vital.

Chorus of birds: He's ghastly!

Nigel: A South American Idol!

Chorus of birds: He's a suspicious bird!

Nigel: Who said that about me?

Chorus of birds: A very vicious bird.

Nigel: I'll have you rotisseried! I'm a feathery freak, with a beak. A bird murder! You think you're badder than me. I never head of ya. I'm evil. I'll fill your cheese balls with weevils!

[continues his singing to Blu and Jewel]

Nigel: I poop on people and I blame it on seagulls.

[we see a seagull nearby]

Nigel: It was him.

Chorus of birds: He's a nasty bird!

Nigel: I'm invincible. I'm unmincable. I'm unwashable. Unrinsable. Like an abandoned school, I have no principle. Full of Brazilian birds. All eighty million birds. I tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to make you.

[to the chorus of birds who continue singing]

Nigel: Shut up now. Shut up!

[the chorus of birds stop singing]

Nigel: It's just me.

[to Blu and Jewel]

Nigel: I will make you ugly too! Sweet nightmares.

[laughs wickedly and flies away]

Blu: Not cool, man! Scary, but not cool!

Blu: Hey, are you okay?

Jewel: No, I am definitely not okay!

[she starts throwing herself at the cage bars]

Blu: Woah, woah, woah! Wait, wait! What are you doing?

Jewel: Getting out of here! Are you going to help me or what?

Blu: A-Actually all the survival guides say to sit and wait. And... and help will come.

Jewel: No one is coming!

[she throws herself more violently at the cage]

Blu: Woah!

Jewel: We're on our own and if we just sit here, we're going to die!

Blu: [as Jewel is continuing to throw herself around the cage] Stop! Stop! Why don't you just open the door?

[he slides open the cage door with his beak]

Jewel: Are you kidding me?

Blu: What? It's just a standard flip-slide door.

Jewel: [Jewel flies out of the cage and grabs hold of Blu, but Blu grabs the cage with his beak] What are you doing?

Blu: I can't...

Jewel: What? You can't what?

[Marcel's men open the door to catch them in the act of escaping and Blu lets go of the cage]

Blu: Fly! I can't fly!

[they both fall onto a washline and start sliding across it]

Jewel: You couldn't have told me this before now?

Blu: It didn't matter before now!

[they crash into a wall]

Jewel: I hate you!

Jewel: [after they crash land to the ground] Is there anything else I need to know?

Blu: Yes. I can't fly, I pick my beak, and once in a while I pee in the birdbath. Happy?

Jewel: [as they are running away from Marcel's men] Aw, this is great! I'm chained to the only bird in the world who can't fly!

Blu: Actually, there are about forty species of flightless birds.

Jewel: Duck!

Blu: No, ducks can fly.

Jewel: No! Duck!

[referring to them ducking under a cart they're about to encounter]

Jewel: Now, uh... just come on! We need to find a safe place to spend the night.

Blu: Safe? Safe? We are in the jungle! You know when people say 'it's a jungle out there', well I'm pretty sure they don't mean it as a good thing.

Jewel: Look, I hate to break it to you, but this is where our kind naturally lives.

Blu: Hey, hey! Don't talk to me about nature. I watch Animal Planet. I know all about the food chain.

[just then a bug flying by gets eaten by a frog sticking his tongue out to grab it]

Blu: Ah! You see? You see, out here, I'm just an hors d'oeuvre! Nothing more than a feathery spring roll.

Jewel: That is why we stay in the trees and not on the ground.

Jewel: [pointing to a large tree ahead of them] After you.

Blu: Oh! No, I don't think so. Nuh-uh! No. I would feel much more comfortable in something man-made. Um, hey, how about up there?

[pointing to a man-made tree house]

Blu: [as Blu reaches the top of the tree house] You see? Who needs flying?

Jewel: Birds. Birds need flying. Flying is... it's freedom and... and not having to rely on anyone. Don't you want that?

Blu: Mmm, I don't know. Sounds a little lonely.

Jewel: Get some sleep.

Blu: Uh, I-I-I'm probably gonna be up for a little while. Well, cause I'm... I'm still on Minnesota time.

Jewel: Goodnight.

Blu: Good night, Jewel.

[looks out into the sky]

Blu: Good night, Linda.

Jewel: [as they are pulling up a huge rock on a rope] Are you sure this is gonna work?

Blu: Positive. Check out my map.

[pointing to the map he's drawn on the ground]

Jewel: Yeah, that's... that's comforting, thank you. Look, let's just get this chain broken.

Blu: Right. Then we can go and find Linda.

Jewel: No, you can go find Linda. Once this chain is off, I'm gonna go back to being free in the jungle. Deal?

Blu: Fine. Deal.

[he puts one of his wings up accidentally, pulling the lever holding the rock off its hook]

Rafael: So, you two lovebirds headed for carnival?

Jewel: Wow! Love birds?

Blu: We're more like acquaintance birds.

Jewel: And not even that! We're more like chained-to-each-other birds.

Blu: Yeah. I... I mean... aaah!

[one of Rafael kids pulls his feather]

Blu: What is it with this kid and feathers?

Rafael: We have no idea. We're having him tested.

Blu: [as he looks down the edge of a cliff] I've changed my mind! Yeah. Uh, maybe we could find a... a bus schedule or something?

Rafael: Come on! You're not gonna back out now, Not in front of the lady!

Blu: Uh... huh! Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, sure.

Rafael: All right! That's the spirit!

Jewel: You're sure you're up for this?

Blu: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, well it's not like we're just hurling ourselves off a mountain or something, right?

Rafael: Actually, that was pretty much my entire plan.

Blu: What?

Rafael: No. Don't worry, Blu. It's in your DNA. And if our featherless friends can do it, how hard can it be?

[just then a human tourist hand gliding off the cliff shouts out for help]

Man on glider: Mommy!

Blu: Fun, right?

Blu: Yeah. Fun.

Rafael: [to Blu and Jewel who are standing side by side] Now, you flap your right wing, you flap your left wing, and together, you fly!

Blu: Uh... but this doesn't seem aerodynamically possible!

Rafael: Ey-ya-ya-ya-ya! You think too much! Fly! It's not what you think up here.

[points to Blu's head]

Rafael: It's what you feel in here.

[points to Blu's heart]

Rafael: And when you feel the rhythm of your heart, it's like Samba! You fly!

Rafael: [as Rafael is demonstrating flying to Blu] See, it's easy!

Blu: Easy? Easy for you to say. 'Cause from... from here it looks really, really hard!

Jewel: Hey, if you want to see Linda again, this is the only way.

Blu: Okay, you're right.

Jewel: Yes, I am.

Blu: This is for Linda.

Jewel: Right!

Blu: Keep it simple.

Jewel: Easy-breezy.

Blu: Thrust, lift, drag.

Jewel: Oh, come on! Let's go!

[she drags him along]

Blu: Wait!

Rafael: [after Blu and Jewel have landed on top of a hand glider's wings] All right, Blu! You're flying! Sort of. Not really. But do you feel it?

Blu: Yes! I do feel it.

Blu: [after Blu and Jewel have crash-landed to the ground from Blu's failed attempt at flying] I would love to go five minutes without almost getting killed! Is that too much to ask?

Jewel: For a bird who can't fly? Oh, yeah!

Nico: Hey, Ralfie! If it isn't the king of carnival!

Rafael: Nico! Pedro! What up, family?

Pedro: Where you been hidin' yourself, bird?

Nico: Man, I thought you were dead!

Pedro: Hold up! Rewind!

[going towards Blu]

Pedro: Ain't that the bird from the cage?

Nico: I think our love lessons went down smooth.

Pedro: You work fast!

Nico: Baby got big!

Pedro: You was locked up and now you're rollin' up with a hot wing! Woo! I wanna be like you!

Blu: Oh, no, no! It's not what you think. We're just uh... chained together.

Nico: Hey, I'm not judging you.

Blu: [as they enter a club full of birds dancing and thumping with music] This is the coolest place I've ever seen! Despite all the obvious health code violations.

Rafael: I like you! Nothing you say makes any sense!

Blu: [as they've gotten away from the monkeys] Man, we threw down!

Jewel: Yeah, we threw down!

Rafael: You guys were like fire and ice!

Nico: Thunder and lightnin'!

Pedro: Hip 'n' hop!

Blu: Cheese and sprinkles!

[they all stop laughing and give Blu a strange look]

Blu: It's a Minnesota thing.

[they all laugh]

Rafael: You see? Nothing you say makes any sense!

Rafael: [whispering to Blu] Blu, just tell her how you feel.

Blu: [turns to Jewel] Jewel?

Jewel: Yeah?

Blu: I've been wanting to tell you, that I... that I...

[suddenly chokes on a floating flower petal]

Jewel: Oh, how sweet. You're getting choked up.

[turns to look at Blu and realizes he's really choking]

Jewel: Oh! Oh! You're choking! Uh, okay! All right!

[she starts giving him the heimlich maneuver]

Jewel: [as she's happily flying, Jewel notices Blu walking away sadly] Hey, where you going?

[Blu ignores her and keeps on walking]

Jewel: Blu? Blu, what's wrong?

Blu: Nothing. Everything's perfect. You'll be off to the rain forest. I'll be back with Linda. Just like we planned.

Jewel: I...

[Nico and Pedro fly down towards them]

Nico: Hey, birds! Stop yappin' and start flappin'! Let's go!

Jewel: I... I... I guess I thought maybe...

Blu: What? That you... you'd come to Minnesota?

[Jewel just looks at him]

Blu: Great! I guess I... I'll knit you a scarf.

Jewel: No, that's not what I meant.

Blu: Look, Jewel, I can't spend my life walking around following you wherever you're going.

Jewel: Hey, it's not my fault you can't fly.

Pedro: [to Nico as they watch Blu and Jewel] Awkward!

Rafael: [as he notices Blu and Jewel starting to argue] Okay! Okay! You know what? This is good. Just clear the air. Just be completely honest with each other.

Blu: You want honesty? Fine. Fine, I can be honest. I don't belong here. In fact, I never wanted to come here in the first place. And... and... and you know what? I hate Samba!

Pedro: [Rafael, Nico and Pedro gasp with shock and Nico bursts into tears] Hey! That's a little too far!

Nico: [to Pedro] Make the mean bird take it back!

Blu: Yeah! I said it! Every song sounds exactly the same.

[he mimics the samba music and dance]

Blu: Tico-taco, ya-ya-ya! Tico-taco, ya-ya-ya! Urrgh! I'm tico-taco outta here.

Jewel: Fine! See you around, pet!

[Jewel flies away and Blu walks away]

Rafael: No, no, ,no! Wait, wait, wait! Come back! You belong together! You are Juliet to his Romeo! Sure they both die in the end, but you get my point!

[Nico and Pedro towards Rafael]

Rafael: Ah, young love! Always so melodramatic. All right, boys. Go after her.

Rafael: [Blu and Linda have just noticed each other at the carnival] Blu! Blu! We found her!

Pedro: She's on some, like, weird chicken float.

Rafael: Come on!

Blu: Let's go get Jewel.

Blu: [in the smugglers' float] Hey, Jewel?

Jewel: Blu!

Blu: I'm gonna get you outta here.

Jewel: No, no! You can't be here! You have to go! Nigel is...

[suddenly Nigel attacks Blu and throws Blu in a cage]

Nigel: Hello, pretty bird. So kind of you to join our little soiree.

Blu: Oh, come on! You really think I came alone? I got three of the roughest, meanest, craziest birds in all of Rio right behind me.

Pedro: Woohoo! You know there guys!

[Blu sees that Nigel has placed Nico, Pedro and Rafael in a cage nearby]

Pedro: We're saved! That's right! That's right! That's right!

Rafael: Uh... I think he means us.

Pedro: Oh.

Nigel: Ah, love! It's such a powerful and stupid thing.

Jewel: [after Blu has released all the other caged birds, Nigel attacks Blu] Let him go!

[Nigel hits Jewel away she falls against the wall of the plane and a cage falls on her wing]

Jewel: Ow!

Blu: Jewel!

Jewel: My wing!

Nigel: Oh, pity! Now we have two useless, flightless birds.

[Blu grabs hold of the hose on the fire extinguisher and attaches it to Nigel's leg]

Blu: Not cool, man! Not cool!

[Blu releases the pressure on the fire extinguisher and Nigel bursts out of the plane]

Jewel: Blu, you're flying!

Blu: Yeah! Woohoo! I'm flying! I'm really flying! You're right! I'm not an ostrich! I'm not an ostrich!

Nigel: [jumping onto the cage Blu and Jewel are being held in] Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdy. But I used to be quite a looker.

[shows them a poster with himself looking dashing on it]

Nigel: A star! Lights. Camera. Action!

[he starts singing]

Nigel: I was striking, suave, ambitious feet to beak, so birdy-licious. Now I am vile, I am villainous and vicious. Oh! And malicious. I had it all. A TV show, Women too! I was tall, over one foot two! And then they got a pretty parakeet to fill my shoes. That's why I am so evil why I do what I do!

[a chorus of birds starts singing]

Chorus of birds: He was a super star!

Nigel: So young and vital.

Chorus of birds: He's nasty!

Nigel: A South American Idol!

Chorus of birds: He's a suspicious bird!

Nigel: Who said that about me?

Chorus of birds: A very vicious bird.

Nigel: I'll have you rotisseried! I was the king of telenovelas The envy of all the other fellows. Then I was pushed out for a Pretty Polly parakeet from Paraguay they called Patricious. Common Paraguayan name.

Chorus of birds: He's a nasty bird!

Nigel: I'm insidious.

Chorus of birds: He's nasty.

Nigel: Oh, I'm hideous!

Chorus of birds: He was a real macaw.

Nigel: I'm a cockatoo!

Chorus of birds: An obscene bird!

Nigel: Yes, that word's true. I'm a feathery freak, with a beak. A bird murder! You think you're badder than me. I never head of ya. I'm evil. I'll fill your cheese balls with weevils!

[continues his singing to Blu and Jewel]

Nigel: I poop on people and I blame it on seagulls.

[we see a seagull nearby]

Nigel: It was him.

Chorus of birds: He's a nasty bird!

Nigel: I'm invincible.

Chorus of birds: He's nasty!

Nigel: I'm unminceable. I'm unwashable, Unrinsable. Like an abandoned school I have no principal! All of you Brazilian birds, all 18 million birds, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to make you...

[to the chorus of birds who continue singing]

Nigel: Shut up now, shut up!

[the chorus of birds stop singing]

Nigel: It's just me. I will make you ugly too. Did you hear how dramatic that was, with the end?

[laughs wickedly and flies away]

Blu: Not cool, man! Scary, but not cool!

Nico: So, are you here for carnival?

Blu: Oh, actually, I'm just here to meet uh... a girl.

Nico: Aahhh, a girl.

Blu: Yes.

Nico: Little word of advice. You make the first move. Brazilian ladies respond to confidence.

Blu: Oh, right.

Pedro: Yeah! It's all about swagger. You gotta puff out that chest, swing that tail, eyes narrow, like some kind of crazy love hawk!

[he squawks like a hawk]

Nico: But first, we gotta bust you out!

Blu: What?

Pedro: Yeah! I'mma pop that cage open like a soda can!

Blu: No!

[Pedro tries desperately to break the metal bar on the cage Blu's in]

Blu: No, no, that's okay.

[Pedro, exhausted, stops pounding the metal bar]

Nico: You call that poppin'?

Pedro: Wooh! This thing's robust!

Blu: No, no, no, guys, really. I'm fine. The cage is great. Love the cage.

Nico: Oh, well. Suit yourself.

Pedro: Hey, don't forget. Love hawk!

[he squawks and flies away with Nico]

Nigel: [jumping onto the cage Blu and Jewel are being held in] Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdy. But I used to be quite a looker.

[shows them a poster with himself looking dashing on it]

Nigel: A star! Lights. Camera. Action!

[he starts singing]

Nigel: I was striking, suave, ambitious feet to beak, so birdy-licious. Now I am vile, I am villainous and vicious. Oh! And malicious. I had it all. A TV show, Women too! I was tall, over one foot two! And then they got a pretty parakeet to fill my shoes. That's why I am so evil why I do what I do!

[a chorus of birds starts singing]

Chorus of birds: He was a super star!

Nigel: So young and vital.

Chorus of birds: He's nasty!

Nigel: A South American Idol!

Chorus of birds: He's a suspicious bird!

Nigel: Who said that about me?

Chorus of birds: A very vicious bird.

Nigel: I'll have you rotisseried! I was the king of telenovelas The envy of all the other fellows. Then I was pushed out for a Pretty Polly parakeet from Paraguay they called Patricious. Common Paraguayan name.

Chorus of birds: He's a nasty bird!

Nigel: I'm insidious.

Chorus of birds: He's nasty.

Nigel: Oh, I'm hideous!

Chorus of birds: He was a real macaw.

Nigel: I'm a cockatoo!

Chorus of birds: An obscene bird!

Nigel: Yes, that word's true. I'm a feathery freak, with a beak. A bird murder! You think you're badder than me. I never head of ya. I'm evil. I'll fill your cheese balls with weevils!

[continues his singing to Blu and Jewel]

Nigel: I poop on people and I blame it on seagulls.

[we see a seagull nearby]

Nigel: It was him.

Chorus of birds: He's a nasty bird!

Nigel: I'm invincible.

Chorus of birds: He's nasty!

Nigel: I'm unminceable. I'm unwashable, unrinsable. Like an abandoned school I have no principal! All of you Brazilian birds, all 18 million birds, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to make you...

[to the chorus of birds who continue singing]

Nigel: Shut up now, shut up!

[the chorus of birds stop singing]

Nigel: It's just me. I will make you ugly too. Sweet nightmares!

[laughs wickedly and flies away]

Blu: Not cool, man! Scary, but not cool!

Rafael: Pssst! Blu, down here. Just tell her, "You have beautiful eyes".

Blu: That's good. Great idea!

[he turns to Jewel]

Blu: I have beautiful eyes.

Jewel: Aah... yeah. Okay, Sure. They're... they're nice.

Rafael: [flying low, whispers to Blu] No! Her eyes! Her eyes!

Blu: Oh, right! Yeah!

[turns to Jewel]

Blu: Your eyes. Your eyes are great. Not mine. I mean, you know, mine are okay. But yours, I-I bet you can see right through them.

Blu: I am going to the Amazon. Yay.

Pedro: Like the website?

Blu: Those are breath mints, you eat them.

[a blue macaw eats the whole box of mints and starts choking]

Blu: Oh, no, no, no, no, not the whole box! Here let me get... that... out of your... mouth!

[he gets the box of mints out of the blue macaw's throat]

Jewel: Unbelievable.

Luiz: So you're going to the Amazon? That place is wild!

Blu: I'm sure it's nothing I can't handle. Wait, how wild?

Luiz: Real wild.

Nico: There's snakes that swallow you whole.

Pedro: Mosquitoes that suck out your blood like a Slurpee.

Luiz: Flesh-eating piranhas that eat... flesh.

Jewel: For a bird from Minnesota, you've got some moves.

Blu: Oh, that wasn't a move, it was an accident. But I accept the compliment.

Jewel: It's great Rafael can watch the kids.

Blu: Yup. Looks like you're stuck with me all night.

Jewel: You're my one and only, Blu.

Blu: That's a good thing since I'm the only other one.

[They press their beaks together as to share a kiss]

Blu: She ate a bug!

Jewel: Hey. Thank you for doing this. I really appreciate it.

Blu: I would do anything for you. You know that, right?

Jewel: Of course I do.

[They snuggle together]

Roberto: You guys are staying in my nest.

Blu: Whoa.

[echoes]

Roberto: It's something I put together with my strength and my brawn.

[drums playing in his chest]

Tiago: No way! A bird bath!

[slides down a vine into the water while laughing]

Blu: Tiago, caref... Ah!

[water splashes onto Blu]

Tiago: [Fart-bubbles emerge from beneath Tiago] Jacuzzi.

Roberto: [Roberto chuckles]

[repeated line]

Blu: Happy Wife... Happy Life

Blu: What's so wrong with humans?

Roberto: Oh they lure you in... they trap you... they DESTROY YOUR MIND!

[suffers a troubled flashback]

Roberto: Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? NO! NO MORE CRACKERS!

Blu: Kids go easy on old Pop-pop

Eduardo: [annoyed] HEY

[glares at Blu]

Eduardo: You can call me sir!

[last lines]

Jewel: Maybe we can do summer's in Rio!

[last lines]

Blu: [repeating what she said to him at the start] You're my one and only Jewel!

Jewel: [touches her beak with his] Awww!

Blu: Remember... Birds of blue feather...

Tiago, Carla, Bia: [All together] ... Have to stick together!

Eduardo: [Before swooping onto the loggers] Lead the way Blu!

Blu: [Overjoyed at his father in law saying his correct name] HA! That's my name! Yes... I am Blu!

[Eduardo a-hums him]

Blu: Oh... right... Birds of blue feather...

Jewel, Tiago, Carla, Bia: [Joined by the entire flock] ... HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER!

Blu: [to Eduardo motioning to Linda saving them with a digger] THAT'S A LINDA!

Linda: [to Blu] You've still got it Blu!

[Does a fist bump with him]

Blu: [Chucks a Swiss army knife to his son as they sabotage a logging equipment] Tiago!

Tiago: [Grabs it] Now we're talking!

Blu: [Stopping a digger by snatching away it's keys] I'll take those!

[the driver tries to snatch them back but falls]

Jewel: [On learning her husband is facing the loggers solo] No daddy... I'm not going with you!

Eduardo: You have to go! I will NOT PUT MY FAMILY IN DANGER!

Jewel: BLU... IS MY FAMILY... and I'm not about to leave him!

Blu: [from off-screen] You don't have too!

Jewel: [Touches her beak with his] Are you okay!

Blu: [Looks to his father in law] Look Eduardo... I may not be the birdy-lest bird in the flock... but for once that's a good thing! You know the jungle... I know humans!

Chester Robb: [on tape] Let me get, uh, rare roast beef with sweet peppers, tomatoes, balsamic vinaigrette on an Italian roll, maybe some fries, see what the soup is and a diet Coke with lemon.

Blu: [watching the tape] It's a shame he didn't know it was his last meal, he could have ordered a regular Coke.

Berger: [on tape] Now, Ms. Brown, could you tell us what happened today? In your own words?

Blu: [watching the tape] How about in Dag Hammarskjold's words?

Blu: [Watching Belinda on tape] What about her?

Scotty: For the inside man?

Blu: For you, she'd be perfect.

Scotty: Perfect? She only has nine fingers.

Scotty: [Finds footage of Belinda stepping out of her dress] Look what I found.

Ellie: You can't watch this.

Blu: Au contrare, it's our duty to watch this.

Scotty: This is evidence of a crime.

Ellie: It's a crime alright.

Blu: She'd be a nice girl for you.

Scotty: I'm not going out with any girl you've seen naked.

Blu: She's not naked.

Scotty: She will be in a minute.

Blu: [Watching Chester Robb on tape] What's with Barn here?

Scotty: He's lost in thought.

Blu: That's a place where he'd be lost.