Penny Quotes in Inspector Gadget (1999)

Officer John Brown: Having another hero cop dream, Uncle John?

Penny: Every time I close my eyes.

Penny: This is the coolest watch. It's a radio, computer, and even a phone. Testing, testing. Brain, say something. Come in, Over.

Brain: Brain is not here. Please leave a message at the sound of the woof. Woof.

[at Scolex Industries]

Gadgetmobile: Can you find the Scolex Building from here, or should I call the police?

Inspector Gadget: I am the police!

Penny: Hey, wait! What about me?

Gadgetmobile: You're smarter than he is. Stay in the car.

Juarez: [to Penny] You try to put a bow on me, you're gonna lose a finger.

Blaster: That little girl has no idea know what she's in for!

Penny: I'm gonna put nail polish and lipstick on her and a dress.

Juarez: A dress? You're going to lose your whole hand!

Penny: Don't you look pretty?

Juarez: [looks at her reflection] Oh, my gosh. I look like Paris Hilton's chihuahua.

Beck: [to Lee] What took you?

Penny: Told ya I should've driven. You fuckin' pussy.

Lee: Shut up and wait in the car!

Penny: What are you talking about? I'm going with ya.

Lee: No, you're not.

Penny: Fool, you said you sorted this out!

Lee: Shut up and stay in the fucking car.

Penny: Fuck sake!

Beck: She seems like a nice kid.

Lee: Fuck you, too. Come on.

Alex: Hey, Lee, you know it's illegal to keep your dog in the car like that with the windows rolled up. She might get heat exhaustion and die.

Penny: Fuck you!

Alex: Fuck you, too, poochy.

[laughs]

Penny: [to Alex] Every dog has his day.

Miss Hattie: Now, go clean something of mine.

[Margo, Edith and Agnes trudge out, passing the Box of Shame]

Margo, Edith, Agnes: Hi, Penny.

Penny: [from inside] Hi, guys.

Layla: [after getting punched in the face by Penny] Big mistake!

[Penny backs away slightly and then Layla uses her powers to grow vines in the cafeteria; the vines then grow over Penny and her clones and pull them up in the air]

Penny: But I thought you were a sidekick.

Layla: I am a sidekick.

Penny: Isn't that sweet. I HATE SWEET!

[repeated line, after taking photographs with Bolt]

Penny: That's a keeper!

Penny: [after taking Polaroid self-portraits of herself and Bolt] That's a keeper!

Penny: [after they finish filming] You saved me again, Bolt.

Penny: Bolt, zoom zoom!

Penny: Where's Calico?

Thug: I'm not talking to you.

[Cut to Bolt holding the thug's car over a bridge]

Thug: [shouting] Bolivia! Bolivia! Calico's in Bolivia! Near Lake Rogaguado!

[Sobs]

Penny: Lake Rogaguado. I should've known.

Penny: I knew you'd come back.

[repeated line]

Penny: [after taking photographs with Bolt] That's a keeper!

Penny: Yeah, you're my good boy.

[last lines]

Penny: I don't want to fall asleep. Okay? Don't let me fall asleep. Promise.

Dodge: I promise. What about your parents?

Penny: They're romantics. They understand. Besides, they've got each other. I just want to be with you.

Dodge: And I want to be with you.

Penny: I couldn't live without you. No matter how long. What do we do now?

Dodge: I just want to lay here with you. Just want to talk to you.

Penny: Okay. What are we gonna talk about?

Dodge: Where'd you grow up?

Penny: Well, I was born in Surrey. My whole family are from there. My mum was a journalist before she married my dad. They never fought. Or at least we never heard them fight. Charlie's the oldest, then Benny, then me. We had a sister but she died when she was born. I still think about her.

[*explosion*]

Penny: Oh God.

Dodge: What was her name? What was your sister's name?

Penny: Patricia. Patricia Hope Lockhart.

Dodge: That's beautiful. That's a beautiful name.

Penny: I wish I'd met you a long time ago. When we were kids.

Dodge: It couldn't have happened any other way. It had to happen now.

Penny: But it isn't enough time.

Dodge: It never would have been.

Penny: I'm scared.

Dodge: I... am madly in love with you, Penny. You're my favorite, favorite thing.

Penny: I thought that somehow we'd save each other.

Dodge: We did. Penny. I'm really glad I got to know you.

Penny: You're a really nice person.

Dodge: You are an awful judge of character.

Penny: I promise not to steal anything if you promise not to rape me.

Dodge: Agreed.

Penny: I don't know, I just... I love records. I mean, they're not for everyone, you know? You really have to take care of vinyl. It's very delicate, it can get wrecked so easily. You really have to love it. Do you hear how full it sounds? Now, what you want to buy is a thicker record. They're more stable. The grooves in them are sort of deeper and wider. You get more detail. I mean, they're harder to carry around 'cause they're heavier, but they're worth it. You know, my parents have this... It's an amazing turntable. It's vintage, cherry wood Victor 45. Oh! Perfect tone. All the original parts. I can't wait to hear it again.

Penny: Hello, officer, what seems to be the problem?

Officer Wally Johnson: Well, for starters, you're driving at 15 miles over speed limit.

Penny: Really? Huh, I thought I was making better time than that.

Officer Wally Johnson: And uh, you know you got a tail light out.

Penny: No...

Officer Wally Johnson: Yeah... also, your plates... expired about a month ago.

Penny: Go on.

Officer Wally Johnson: Uh... that's it. That's everything. That's three things.

Penny: Ah, why don't you write us out any number of expensive time-sensitive tickets and we'll be on our way?

Officer Wally Johnson: May I have some identification?

Penny: Yes, of course. My name is Penny and this is Dodge.

Officer Wally Johnson: Okay. License and registration.

Penny: Well you see that's where we got a problem because I didn't get a chance to retrieve my identification before fleeing my home during a deadly riot. However, we were fortunate enough to hitch a ride with a very nice trucker who turns out, hired a hit man to assist him in a suicide thus bestowing us with this. This beautiful mode of transportation. So... the answer is no... no license or registration here. However, given the current situation with the *** whistles while pointing to the sky *** couldn't you find it in your heart to set aside the law, just this once, and let us on our way so that I can give my friend here a fighting chance of being with the one he loves before we all reach our untimely conclusion?

Officer Wally Johnson: No.

Dodge: How did you learn to cook like this?

Penny: I watched everything my mum did, and did the exact opposite.

Penny: God, it's the end of the world, and I'm still 15 minutes late.

Penny: [noticing photograph] Who's the girl.

Dodge: Who? Oh, that's Olivia.

Penny: Is she the one that got away?

Dodge: Well, they all got away, but she was the first, yeah.

Penny: I did ruin your life.

Dodge: No you didn't. I had a really long head start.

RJ: That is an S.U.V; Humans ride in then because they are slowly losing their ability to walk.

Penny: Jeepers, its so big!

Lou: How many humans fit in there?

RJ: Usually, one.

RJ: Please don't think I'm prying, but I couldn't help overhearing, and I think I can shed a little light on what this whole hedge situation is about. You see, what was once mere wilderness is now 54 acres of man-made, manicured, air-conditioned paradise.

[Points at map]

RJ: Except for that little-bitty speck. You are here.

[All gasp]

RJ: No, no, that's a good thing. You're hibernators, right? You gather up a bunch of food, store it away for the winter?

Hammy the Squirrel: Aha! We fill the log!

Verne: Hammy.

RJ: Really? This log? This cave-like log?

Ozzie: All the way to the top.

Verne: Ozzie.

RJ: Let me ask ya, how long's it take, you know, to fill the log?

Heather: Two-hundred and seventy-four days.

RJ: Ooh! Ever done it in a week?

Verne: That's impossible.

RJ: Not if we work together. You see, you've got the food-gathering skills, I've got the know-how, and they have the food.

Heather: How much food?

RJ: Loads of food! Heaps of food! Food out the wazoo!

Verne: Well, you know, whatever kind of food comes out of a wazoo, I really don't think we're interested in eating.

Lou: I don't know. The guy's making a lot of sense to me. I think we should listen.

Penny: Yeah. I'm okay with wazoo food there.

Tiger: Shoo, go on, get away from here. My owner does not give scraps to common strays.

Stella: Common strays? Alright, you asked for it...

[turns and raises rear]

RJ: [whispers] Get the collar!

Stella: Gee, that's a nice collar you got on. Mind if I have a look?

Tiger: No-no-no-no-no! Come no closer! I must not be so near a creature of the outdoor woods.

[sneezes]

Tiger: Away with your filth!

Stella: My filth? My *filth*?

Penny: Oh jeepers here we go.

Stella: Okay, that's it. I'm sick and tired of everybody taking one look at me and running away 'cause they think I'm filthy. Well I got news for you: I didn't get primped and preened to have some overfed, pompous puffball tell me he's too good for me. I've got makeup on my *butt*, dude! And you don't even want to know about the cork!

Tiger: Stop! No one has *ever* spoken to me like that!

[others gasp]

Tiger: It is bold... I like it.

Stella: Yeah? Well, there's more where that came from, uh... puffball!

[Leads him away from the door]

Tiger: You're strong. Your essence is overpowering.

Stella: [pushes tail down] Wh-what do you mean by that?

Tiger: It is your eyes.

Stella: My eyes?

Tiger: They are... luminous.

Stella: Luminous... Dang.

Penny: Jeepers!

Lou: "Jeepers" is the word, alright!

Verne: Come on, you guys!

[Tries to be intimidating]

Verne: Don't make me come in there!

Stella: [Heard beneath the leaves] Y'all better listen... I've been holding something in all winter and I'm about to LET IT OUT!

Penny: [Animals scatter from under leaves] Whoa!

Ozzie: She means it!

[as the leaves and dust settles, Stella is shown in her "firing" position]

Verne: [Politely and grateful] Thank you, Stella!

Stella: [Nonchalantly] Oh, I can clear a room, Verne. That much I can do!

Cadpig: Old Thunderbolt's the greatest dog in the whole world.

Patch: He's even better than Dad.

Penny: No dog's better than Dad.

Pongo: Perdy, I've got an idea!

[rolls around in soot]

Perdita: Pongo, what on earth?

Pongo: Look! I'm a Labrador! We'll all roll in the soot! We'll all be Labradors!

Labrador: Say! That is an idea!

Pongo: Come on, kids! Roll in the soot!

Penny: You mean you want us to get dirty?

Pepper: Did you hear that, Freckles? Dad wants us to get dirty.

Cadpig: Mother, should we?

Perdita: [sighs] Do as your father says.

Pepper: This'll be fun!

Cadpig: I always wanted to get good and dirty!

Rufus: Faith is a bluebird, we see from far. It's for real and as sure as the first evening star, you can't touch it, or buy it, or wrap it up tight, but it's there just the same, making things turn out right.

Penny: Can't touch it, or buy it, or wrap it up tight, but it's there just the same, making things turn out right. But whoever adopts me has to adopt Teddy, too.

Rufus: Oh, they'll love him! He doesn't eat much, does he?

TV Announcer: Penny, you were a brave little girl to do what you did all by yourself.

Penny: Oh, I didn't do it all by myself. Two little mice, from the Rescue Aid Society, helped me.

TV Announcer: Mice? Rescue Aid Society?

Penny: Yes! They rescued me.

[whispering]

Penny: Um, could I say hello to them?

[waves to the camera]

Penny: Hello, Bianca! Hi, Bernard!

TV Announcer: You can - talk to these little mice?

Penny: All the time. Mice can talk like anybody. Didn't you know that?

TV Announcer: [as the watching R.A.S. laughs] Well... I didn't. But I do now, Penny.

[inside the cave, gurgling sounds are heard from a large hole]

Bernard: What-wh-wh-what was that?

Penny: That's where the water comes in. Oooh, I'm afraid to go over there.

Bernard: Well, if I were a pirate, that's just where I'd hide the Devil's Eye. Eh, I'll go over and- check it out.

[as Bernard approaches the hole, a loud gurgling sound emanates from it; he starts to back away]

Bernard: Come-

[clears throat]

Bernard: come to think of it, If I was a pirate, I wouldn't, I wouldn't hide anything back there.

Penny: [praying] Please bless Rufus, and Teddy... And all the kids at the orphanage: Jennifer, Bobby, Mary, Julie. And please let someone find my bottle. There's a message in it. Because running away isn't working. Amen.

Mr. Snoops: Welsher! Swindler! Chiseler!

Madame Medusa: [Pointing gun at Mr. Snoops and Penny] Shut up, Snoops! And don't move. If either of you try to follow me, you'll get BLASTED!

Penny: [walking towards Madame Medusa] You give me my teddy bear. You promised.

Madame Medusa: [Pushing Penny away with her foot and walking backwards] Teddy goes with me, my dear. I've become quite attached to him.

[laughs]

Madame Medusa: [Madame Medusa calls Penny into her bedroom sweetly] Come in! Come in!

Penny: [Penny walks in holding her teddy bear] Did you wanna see me, ma'am?

Madame Medusa: Why, yes, my dear. Don't be so shy.

[chuckling]

Madame Medusa: Now, I'm going to let bygones be bygones. Do you know what would make Auntie Medusa very happy?

Penny: Yes, you want me to find that diamond.

Madame Medusa: That's right, dear.

Penny: But I've tried as hard as I could. Honest!

Madame Medusa: Of course, you have. But we must try harder, mustn't we?

Penny: Then, please, will you take me back to the orphanage... like you promised?

Madame Medusa: Penny, don't you like it here? A big, beautiful boat all to yourself?

Penny: But if I don't get back to the orphanage... I'll never get adopted.

Madame Medusa: Adopted? What makes you think anyone would want a homely little girl like you?

[Penny walks away in tears]

Penny: Oh, here. I brought you something.

Rufus: Land O Goshen! Cat-nip snaps.

Penny: [giggles] No, they're ginger snaps.

Rufus: Well, an old codger like me could use a little ginger.

Penny: I taked two extra ones for lunch today. We're not s'posed to do that.

Rufus: You can trust me. I won't tattletale on you.

Penny: I love you, Rufus.

Penny: [working out a plan to trap the crocodiles, Nero and Brutus] See there? The elevator.

Miss Bianca: Oh, it's a perfect cage, Penny.

Bernard: Great idea. Now, uh, what - what can we use for bait?

Penny: Oh, they'll eat anything.

Penny: We - Hi. Where'd you come from?

Bernard: We found the bottle with-with your message, and we've come to rescue you.

Penny: Did you hear that, Teddy? Our bottle worked!

[looks confused]

Penny: Didn't you bring somebody big with you? Like the police?

Bernard: Uh, no. There's just, uh - the two of us.

Miss Bianca: But if the three of us work together and we have a little faith...

Penny: That's what Rufus said: "Faith makes things turn out right."

Penny: [as she starts to sniffle, then cry] Don't worry, teddy, we'll-we'll be... alright.

Penny: The water's coming in. Please pull me up!

Madame Medusa: Not until you get the diamond!

Rufus: What's wrong, Penny, honey?

Penny: Nothing.

Rufus: Come on now, come on. No secrets. You tell old Rufus, huh?

Penny: Well, it was adoption day at the orphanage.

Rufus: Well... what happened?

Penny: A man and lady came and looked at me, but they choosed a little red-headed girl. She was prettier than me.

Rufus: Aw, sh-sh-she couldn't be! You listen to me, darling. You're something extra-special.

Penny: No I'm not.

Rufus: Why, some day a mama and a papa will come to the orphanage looking for a pretty lil' girl, just like you.

Penny: Honest?

Rufus: I'll bet my whiskers on it.

Penny: [trying to start the swampmobile] Oh, please start.

Bernard: Advance the spark!

[the horn blares in his face]

Bernard: Not the horn, the spark lever. Digger, hold this.

[hands him cable]

Bernard: It's that doohickey on the steering wheel.

[Bianca pulls lever, Digger gets a big shock]

Penny: [doing an impression of Medusa] Brutus! Nero! Did you let that little brat escape again? You're too soft.

[swinging a broom]

Penny: Wap! Wap!

Bernard: [chuckles] Hey, Penny, that's not bad.

Miss Bianca: [laughs] That's exactly like Medusa.

Penny: [walks like Medusa and imitates her again] Track her down, boys. Bring her back.

Bernard: [planning an escape] Wait a minute. She-she might catch us in her swampmobile.

Penny: We'll swipe it! I've always wanted to drive it.

[imitates engine and driving around]

Bernard: [planning to trap the alligators] Now, uh, what can we use for bait?

Penny: Oh, they'll eat anything.

Bernard: Yeah, I know.

Penny: [after Snoops taunts her while Brutus is holding her upside by her underwear] Put me down, Brutus.

[Brutus drops her to the floor]

Penny: Creepy old dragon.

Penny: [Repeated line; whenever Brutus holds her upside down by her underwear] Put me down, Brutus.

Bobby Jones: Tell him, I'll see him again.

Penny: Ooh, Corn! But I'll tell him anyway.

Bobby Jones: Some day you'll find that corn is very sustaining.

Bobby Jones: Here you follow me from Beverly Hills to Forest Hills, from Wimbledon to Sydney to Honolulu to here.

[takes off her dress]

Bobby Jones: Why?

Penny: Because I love you.

[Seeing that Bobby clutches her dress in front of her]

Penny: I love everybody. All the beautiful people.

Bobby Jones: Are you high?

Penny: No.

Penny: What are you?

Chuck Barris: Jew.

Penny: Oh, I had one of those once. But he was separatist. He was Ashka Nazi.

Chuck Barris: Ashkenazi.

Penny: Right, Ashka Nazi. I haven't had one of those yet.

Chuck Barris: You're a romantic.

Penny: Do you want me around or not? Do you even like me?

Chuck Barris: Ofcourse I like you! Penny...

Penny: How much?

Chuck Barris: What?

Penny: I need to know how much you like me.

Chuck Barris: know what that means! How much? How could I read a person in that way?

Penny: You could if you felt it. If you felt it, it would be easy. You would

[sighs dreamingly]

Penny: just spread your arms as wide as they would go and say: "This much, Penny."

Chuck Barris: Everything... everything is complicated. Nothing is black and white like that.

Penny: [cries] Do you want me around or not? 'Cause if you don't it's okay, just tell me.

Chuck Barris: Hey, hey...

[kisses her]

Chuck Barris: I love you, Penny. In my way. Maybe not that crazy head-over-heels-thing, but what is that anyway? Romantic love, isn't that just an illusion?

Penny: [stops crying] You just said you love me, right?

Harry Dunne: I wonder what it would have been like to raise a child.

[Harry daydreams of what life would have been like if he raised a daughter. First Harry teaches his toddler daughter how to do a stunt on her bike. Harry is then shown knocking one of his daughter's baby teeth out a few years later. We then see that Harry's now teenage daughter has had her first period]

Harry Dunne: .

Penny: [Harry's daughter now an adult goes on a date] Bye, dad.

Lloyd Christmas: [Lloyd is acting retarded and is wearing a pink vest and two huge fan gloves] Mr Dunne! Mr Dunne!

[about to eat from a dustbin]

Lloyd Christmas: Do you mind?

Harry Dunne: Bon appetite, kid!

Penny: Oh no, darnit... I just remembered that I promised my friend's brother's godmother that I would help her change her fax cartridge because she's going out of town tomorrow... on and African safari.

[about Massimo]

Mary: For an entire summer he followed me around asking me if I had a vagina!

Penny: [pause] I think that's adorable!

Penny: So, what the fuck do you want, Donnie?

Jess: [describing the "vision"] He looked like Matt Damon! And he was naked!

Penny: Matt Damon? Tell me more!

Penny: Here it's like I'm on a safari watching lions and gazelles tear each other up in a frenzy of flesh and spermicidal lubricant.

Penny: [activating her Harry Potter vibrator] Mm. Time for some Quidditch.

Lilly: Let's go put that sexy bastard in his place.

Penny: You've got balls.

Lilly: That's not funny.

Penny: He's butt-naked and circumcised.

Lilly: Congratulations, you can read.

Casey: God, I think you just scared a fart out of me.

Penny: I get that a lot.

Dick Dickey: Penny! Someone crapped in the urinal! Take care of it!

Penny: Right away! Duty calls. Get it? "Duty." How do I come up with these things?

Penny: Why would anyone pretend to be straight these days? I thought Neil Patrick Harris changed all that.

Penny: I read a scientific study once. To see if a guy's gay, they got him to look at a hot naked man and checked if he had a boner.

Casey: They did a study on that?

Penny: Yeah.

Penny: But Benji's not even gay, maybe.

Casey: He had a frozen turkey leg when we kissed.

Penny: [having groped a fellow camper] I can't tell if Benji's dick was big because it was hard or big because it was just a big dick.

Casey: Well, how dense was it?

Penny: Normal dense?

Casey: Okay, like grabbing a frozen turkey leg dense or like grabbing a giant marshmallow dense?

Penny: I don't know - somewhere in between? - but it could have been his iphone or a shoe for all I know.

Casey: A shoe? When's the last time you touched a dick, anyway?

Penny: That was my first.

James 'Jimmy' Smith: You're not dumb, you just play dumb.

Penny: Like a possum?

James 'Jimmy' Smith: No, a possum plays dead, not dumb.

Penny: I don't have anything against men, I just want more money, that's all.

Candy: You want money? Go out and earn it!

Mother: You couldn't cook you way out of a Ziploc.

Penny: Mom!

Mother: No wonder you could never hold on to a man. You're gonna end up a lesbian, if you're not one already.

Carmen: When I realized Django was my spirit-mate, the animal world became so visible to me.

Joseph: As opposed to the vegetable and mineral worlds?

Penny: Now, who's' Django?

Bryan: Oh, that was Carmen's dog. He lived to be 24.

Penny: Oh.

Carmen: It was then that the gift blossomed in me. My third eye truly opened. What Django felt, I felt. I traveled through the world with him, seeing what he saw.

Russell: And what did he see?

Carmen: He saw things for what they are. He was connected to the prana.

Joseph: Oh, the prana.

Penny: Shut up, Joseph. You're such a tight ass. Do you have to be so one-dimensional?

Joseph: Excuse me for living in this dimension.

Eli: Fuck. So, alright, what do we do now?

Penny: You know, Eli, the guy in there he tells me, and I know this is gonna sound crazy...

Eli: Yeah?

Penny: ...that if I get high, then produce dirty urine, I'm admitted. Hey, this is crazy, right?

Eli: Yes, this is pretty crazy. Alright. So let's do it then. C'mon! Let's get you some crack or something. C'mon!

Penny: Eli, I can't have you being a part of this. No.

Eli: Mom, I'm already a part of this. I'm being part of this for my whole life. Ok, so you know what? I'll pay for it, it will be my treat. C'mon. C'mon.

Penny: And I don't do crack. You would be a fool if you would do crack.

Penny: People in Portland don't use umbrellas.

Donald Miller: That's dumb.

Penny: Oh, come on, ladies. God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em.

Penny: Go back to your playpen, Baby.

Penny: Johnny, what are you doing?

Johnny: Don't worry about Max; I'll tell him your grandmother died, or somethin'.

Penny: How many times have you told me never to get mixed up with them?

Johnny: [pause] I know what I'm doing, Penny.

Penny: You listen to me; you've gotta stop it, now.

Henry: Honey, have you seen my brown loafers?

Penny: Yeah.

Henry: Great. Where are they?

Penny: Oh, I threw them away.

Henry: You... okay, why?

Penny: Because they're brown loafers.

Henry: I love you but you're kinda crazy, you know that?

Penny: [laughs] I'm not the one wearing purple sneakers.

Penny: You're going to surf in that?

Leslie: No, I'm gonna surf in my da-na-da-na

Penny: Your what?

[Leslie whips off towel]

Leslie: Da na da na!

Penny: You're wearing nut-huggers!

Anne Marie: Penny didn't finish her homework.

Penny: You weren't here to help me.

Anne Marie: She's got to do her homework.

Eden: Don't give us shit 'cause you were out there working it.

Anne Marie: Shut up.

Lena: Don't deny it. You were working it like a rib without the sauce.

Penny: You were the one who made mom leave! You were screwing up all the time!

Penny: [watching Laurie eat eight ribs at once] You're a PIG!

Josh: Penny, get back in the tent!

Penny: It hurts... I need air...

Josh: Get back in the MUTHAFUCKIN' TENT!

Penny: You see, Sister Sarah Jane, I'm a lesbian. That's why my family disowned me. But I'll stop it. I will, honest. I'll do anything you say. I have a strange compulsion to obey you.

Sister Sarah Jane: Penny, do you have any scars?

Penny: Why? What do you need them for?