Johnny Trinno Quotes in Beer League (2006)

Johnny Trinno: [giving the toast at Maz's wedding] So to recap, throughout it all, there's been a lot of laughter, and a few tears. But in the end the clouds parted, and the good Lord himself decided it was meant to be. And that's how I finished the regular season batting .706.

Johnny Trinno: It's unfair, it's like pitching to a healthy Lou Gehrig.

Maz: I'll have an egg-white omelet made with very little oil, dry wheat toast, and grapefruit juice.

Johnny Trinno: Oh my god, that's the gayest order I've ever heard.

Artie DeVanzo: You know, in Massachusetts, that order could legally marry a dude.

Maz: Alright, here it comes.

Johnny Trinno: You know, just placing an order like that would get you kicked out of the army.

Artie DeVanzo: You know, if you put a construction helmet on that order, it could join the Village People.

Rhonda: Would you guys knock it off so I can do my job?

Maz: Thank you.

Rhonda: Alright, Maz, that's an egg-white omelet, dry wheat toast, grapefruit juice.

Maz: That's right.

Rhonda: Do you want a side order of cock with that?

Maz: [responding to Artie about un-inviting Mangenelli to the wedding] He's Gina's cousin, he's going to be there, and don't start any trouble.

Artie DeVanzo: Hey, I'm not one to start trouble.

Johnny Trinno: Oh my God you fat fuckin' liar.

Alfonse: Check it out, my new italiano mit.

Maz: That's cool, Alfonse.

Johnny Trinno: How much of a guido could you possibly be?

Johnny Trinno: [speaking in an announcer-type voice] Now coming to bat is Artie DeVanzo. Last season was a fine one for DeVanzo, we all know that. He batted 420 with 45 RBIs. He enters today's game with a Blood Alcohol Content of .16. If you kids scoring at home, that is an impressive *twice* the legal limit.

Johnny Trinno: Let me get a bacon egg and cheese on a hard roll with a side order of fries, cheese, and gravy and a bowl of gravy on the side.

Artie DeVanzo: I'll have the same thing, plus pancakes.

Rhonda: Chocolate milk?

Artie DeVanzo: You know it honey.