Jimmy Tudeski Quotes in The Whole Ten Yards (2004)

Lazlo: You killed my Strabo.

Jimmy Tudeski: Actually, Strabo was already dead. He got shot when your hitter tried to shoot us.

Lazlo: [looks at Julie] Is this true?

Julie: Hey, Lazlo. Shit happens, all right?

Lazlo: Oh yeah. Watch this shit happen.

[shoots Julie with Jill's gun as she is holding it]

Jimmy Tudeski: [to Oz] Squeal bag! Squealster! Remington Squeal!

Jimmy Tudeski: Do unto others before you're turned into a pillar of salt.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: A pillar of salt?

Jimmy Tudeski: Yeah. Moses said that. Read the bible, Oz!

Jimmy Tudeski: Oh no! Look it! Blanche!

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Who's Blanche?

Jimmy Tudeski: Consuelo! Xerxes! Alert the others! There's been a tragedy!

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Who's Blanche?

Jimmy Tudeski: This is Blanche. You killed her.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: I'm sorry.

Jimmy Tudeski: Go home, Oz. Go home before something bad happens.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Something bad already has happened; Cynthia's been kidnapped!

Jimmy Tudeski: Blanche, put down in her prime...

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: He names his chickens! You name your chickens?

[Jimmy runs away crying]

Jimmy Tudeski: WAAAHHHH! Blanche! You're DEAD!

Jill: [refering to Jimmy's crucifix] Where did he get, Oz?

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: I don't know.

[in a flash, Jill is holding the point of a knife to his Adam's Apple]

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [very fast] It's Cynthia's; she got it from her grandmother when she was a child, and Cynthia gave it to Jimmy for good luck on hits.

Jimmy Tudeski: [grabs Oz by the throat] You say you're not a squealer! Huh?

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: So this is how a retired mass murderer acts.

Jimmy Tudeski: No. This is how a retired mass murderer acts when people show up uninvited.

[grabs Oz by the throat]

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Noted.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [hears and sees Jimmy shooting bullets at him] Jimmy! Jimmy, don't shoot! It's me, it's Oz!

Jimmy Tudeski: I know.

[shoots at him again]

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Okay, that almost hit me!

[Jimmy, Oz, and Cynthia, are Lazlo's prisoners; Jill, outside, has Lazlo's son hostage]

Lazlo: [shouting] Where's my son?

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: All right, that's it!

Cynthia: Oz...

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: No, I've had enough!

[suddenly tough]

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: If you ever want to see your son again, you'll let us go right now.

Lazlo: Is that right?

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Yeah, that's right! And if we're not out of here by eleven o'clock, Jill's gonna put one in Strabo's forehead. Just like Jimmy put one in Janni's forehead. Oh... it wasn't pretty.

Lazlo: [enraged] Give me a gun.

Jimmy Tudeski: [impressed] Not bad, Oz.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Thanks.

Jimmy Tudeski: [catchs Oz and a topless Jill holding each other] What's all this?

[look to Oz]

Jimmy Tudeski: First my ex-wife, now my wife-wife.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: No, no, no! She just hated her outfit.

Jimmy Tudeski: Come here.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [to Jill] I think he wants to talk to you for a minute.

Jimmy Tudeski: [points at Oz] No, you.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Oh.

[Jimmy grabs Oz and throws him against the wall]

Jimmy Tudeski: [Jill points a gun at him] You don't have the balls.

Jill: Ha. This coming from a guy who rarely gets it up.

Cynthia: That's funny. He never had that problem with me.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Hell, you were shooting at me in Mexico. Was that all part of the plan?

Jimmy Tudeski: As a matter of fact. It was. Yeah.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [after Oz wakes up naked in a bed with Jimmy] What the hell happened last night? And why does my ass hurt?

Jimmy Tudeski: You fell down a flight of stairs.

Jimmy Tudeski: Stay away from my chickens, Oz.

Jimmy Tudeski: [Talking to Lazlo while getting shot at] did you hire a hitter?

Lazlo: I can't really remember. Why? Is somebody shooting at you?

Jimmy Tudeski: [referring to Lazlo] Jill, tie him up!

Jill: What am I gonna tie him up for? I'm gonna kill him!

[from trailer]

Jimmy Tudeski: You refused to follow the ABCs of professional killing!

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: There's an actual ABC for professional killing?

Jimmy Tudeski: Shut up!

Jill: For two years I have been begging you to go back to work and then when Cynthia gets kidnapped, you're off to the races.

Jimmy Tudeski: Off to the races?

Jimmy Tudeski: If you ever grab me like that again, I will stick a knife in your face.

Strabo: [after seeing Jimmy and Oz in a bed together] A little male bonding?

Jimmy Tudeski: Just like C block, huh Strabo?

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [in the background] I fell down the stairs, Strabo!

Jimmy Tudeski: You know I was a bed wetter?

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: You don't do it anymore, do you?

Jimmy Tudeski: When I was 12 I saw my father naked in a shower.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Well, that's probably why you wet the bed. Very Freudian. Jungian.

Jimmy Tudeski: What is this?

[referring to a tower of glasses on the table]

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: It's what we've been building for the last few hours.

Jimmy Tudeski: Well, get it out of here!

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Why?

Jimmy Tudeski: Because I hate it! It makes me sad.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: I don't think God keeps an eye on your sperm. What kind of job is that for God? It'd take him all day. I'm gonna throw up.

Jimmy Tudeski: [later] Did you have a good relationship with your father?

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Yeah, we were like pals.

Jimmy Tudeski: I wanna to kill my father. I want to take a icepick and stick it right in his eyeball.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Still gonna throw up.

Jimmy Tudeski: We had some great times though.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: You and your father?

Jimmy Tudeski: No. Me and Cynthia.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [burps] That's almost vomit.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Why don't you just consider adopting.

Jimmy Tudeski: Come on Oz, how many adoption agencies are gonna give a kid to a professional killer.

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: You may have a point there.

Jimmy Tudeski: Maybe i could just steal a kid. They're small. How hard can that be.