Henry Sherman Quotes in The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

Royal: I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me.

Henry Sherman: I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch.

Royal: Well, I really appreciate that.

Royal: Are you trying to steal my woman?

Henry Sherman: I beg your pardon?

Royal: You heard me, Coltrane.

Henry Sherman: Coltrane?

Royal: What?

Henry Sherman: Did you just call me Coltrane?

Royal: No.

Henry Sherman: You didn't?

Royal: No.

Henry Sherman: Okay.

[he turns away]

Royal: But if I did... you wouldn't be able to do anything about it, would you?

Henry Sherman: You don't think so?

Royal: No, I don't.

Henry Sherman: Listen, Royal, if you think you can just march in here...

Royal: You wanna talk some jive? I'll talk some jive. I'll talk some jive like you never heard!

Chas: Please don't get in the middle of this, Mr. Sherman. This is a family matter.

Margot: Don't talk to him like that.

Henry Sherman: Call me Henry.

Chas: I prefer Mr. Sherman.

Ethel: Call him Henry.

Chas: Why? I don't know him that well.

Ethel: You've known him for 10 years.

Chas: As your accountant, Mr. Sherman, yes.

[Henry has gathered the family into Royal's room]

Henry Sherman: Pagoda has something to say.

Pagoda: [points at Royal] He has a cancer.

Henry Sherman: No, he doesn't. I know what stomach cancer looks like. I've seen it. And you don't eat three cheeseburgers a day with french fries if you got it. The pain is excruciating.

Royal: How would you know?

Henry Sherman: My wife had it. Not only is there no Dr. McClure at Colby General, there is no Colby General. It closed in 1974.

Royal: [getting out of bed] Aw, shit, man.

Pagoda: Oh, shit, man.

Ethel: Royal, this is Henry Sherman.

Royal: [shaking hands with him] Hey, lay it on me, man.

Henry Sherman: How do you do?

Royal: Not too well, I'm dying.

Henry Sherman: I just wanted to apologize for the other day, when I proposed to you.

Ethel: Why? I thought it was very sweet.

Ethel: [about Royal's fake terminal illness charade] Were you part of this, Pagoda?

Henry Sherman: Of course he was.

Royal: No... well, yeah, he was, but, I mean, he wasn't *that* involved.