Augie Farks Quotes in Role Models (2008)

Augie Farks: Naysayers tell me "You should be embarrassed." "You should not be fighting." "You look like Marvin Hamlisch." You know what I say to the naysayers? I say "Nay! I am not embarrassed." "I will fight." "Who the hell is Marvin Hamlisch?"

Danny: He wrote the music for The Sting.

Wheeler: That's a good movie.

Danny: [on the phone] I'd love to see you... and your whispering eye. Alright. Bye.

[to Augie]

Danny: Whispering eye?

Augie Farks: It means vagina.

[laughing]

Augie Farks: It means vagina.

Danny: Classy move, man.

Augie Farks: It means vagina.

Esplen: Um... Augie, now that I'm queen... I was wondering if, maybe, you'd want to be my... king?

Augie Farks: [grinning] Sure!

[pause]

Augie Farks: Am I supposed to kiss you now?

[Esplen giggles and they kiss]

Augie Farks: [to himself] Fuck yeah!

Danny: Man, why do you bow for that guy?

Augie Farks: Because he's the king, and he rules the entire realm.

Danny: Oh he rules the entire realm? Oh my bad.

Danny: Is that when he is or isn't whacking it to The Sims?

Wheeler: Did you know that bald eagles are known to engage in a bizarre mating ritual where two eagles fly upwards, lock talons, and fall towards the earth while rotating, separating almost before they crash into the ground, if and only if they consummate their bird fuck. If they don't, they are willing to accept their death by hard ground. It's the ultimate race against the clock.

Augie Farks: Why are you telling me this?

Wheeler: Why would I not?

Augie Farks: Would you like to come in and see my turtle?

Danny: I'm fine.

Ronnie Shields: Of course he has turtle.

Danny: Do you like coke?

Augie Farks: I like the idea of it more than I actually like it.