Funny valentines day quotes:

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It's funny, I was talking to somebody who writes for a cop show, and he was saying how they aren't allowed to acknowledge Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, just because it has to be able to play forever. -- Hannah Simone
Love is just a chocolate substitute. -- Melanie Clark Pullen
Love and a cough cannot be hid. -- George Herbert
Women are cursed, and men are the proof. -- Roseanne Barr
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller
Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter. -- Martha Stewart
A man is only as good as what he loves. -- Saul Bellow
Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old. -- Stephen Colbert
You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap! -- Dolly Parton
A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years. -- Rupert Brooke
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. -- Groucho Marx
Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life. -- Lord Byron
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. -- Jules Renard
It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men. -- Mae West
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. -- Rita Rudner
A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses. -- H. L. Mencken
Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile. -- Sean Connery
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. -- Lewis Grizzard
Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day. -- Jay Leno
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. -- Matt Groening
I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore! -- Mike Birbiglia
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. -- Judith Viorst
Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all. -- Jimmy Fallon
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself. -- Robert Orben
Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's like, 'I don't know how to break this to you but I think she's banging your dad!' -- Russ Meneve
When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. -- Natalie Clifford Barney

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