Stand-Up Comic quotes:

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I'm not a joke guy; I'm not a stand-up comic. -- Eugene Levy
I like my leaders smart and serious. I don't need a stand-up comic. -- Kristin Gore
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it. -- Rita Rudner
I'm a frustrated stand-up comic. If you hand me a microphone and I get one laugh, then I'll go on for 20 minutes. -- Michael Caine
A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are. -- Phyllis Diller
Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner. -- Jerry Seinfeld
Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them. That's how I saw myself, in comedy. -- Al Pacino
If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting in my house today working on my Leonardo DiCaprio impression. -- Jim Carrey
I don't see myself as a stand-up comic doing cynical, mean-spirited or disrespectful stuff. I'm very aware that I don't like to disrespect people too much. -- Tracey Ullman
I don't make much distinction between being a stand-up comic and acting Shakespeare - in fact, unless you're a good comedian, you're never going to be able to play Hamlet properly. -- Ian Mckellen
I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing. -- Dave Attell
When they meet a stand-up comic, people sometimes remark: 'That must be the hardest job in the world.' Among comedians, only Freddie Starr is not embarrassed and slightly appalled by this remark. -- Arthur Smith
People called me a hoodlum and a thug. But they didn't tell you I was a carpenter, an architect, a stand-up comic - even a bartender. And a barbecue cook. But they didn't tell you that. -- Bobby Seale
I get up around 7 a.m. That's very early for a stand-up comic. Then I'll have breakfast with my husband, the artist Al Ridenour, take my three dogs for a walk and commence with my work. -- Margaret Cho
Look, you know, you can't please everybody. I'm a stand-up comic. I know that. It doesn't matter how funny you are and how well you do, there's two people that are going to walk out of there hating you. -- Billy Gardell
I got 'Delhi Belly' and 'Badmaash Company' because people from the production house had seen my stand-up comic acts in a DVD that was lying in their offices. It's been a weird journey, and I think weird goes with me. -- Vir Das
My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living. -- Graham Norton
Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me; it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to do. And even if I do a TV show, the only reasons to do a TV show is to get more people to know me to come out to my stand-up shows. -- Bill Burr
With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell a joke is their knowledge of themselves, or the persona they've created as themselves. So that when you're in a room with writers, you can say, 'Guys, that's a funny line, but I wouldn't say it.' -- Bob Newhart
I think there's a core of real anger or misery inside every true stand-up comic. -- Scott Raab
I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch. -- Bo Burnham
A really good stand-up comic is a poet; it's about the use of language. It can be really poetic. And I like politically conscious comedy. -- Sherman Alexie
Chris Addison is a stand-up comic, but his ability to act is extraordinary, to be so natural, I've taken 25 years just getting to that level. -- Peter Capaldi
Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce. -- Joe Rogan
A stand-up comedian faces the audiences and gets their immediate feedback. I hide behind the comic strip, and unless people write to me, I dont know what they think. -- Stephan Pastis
I remember I was in music class, I was a senior in high school, and my music teacher was like, "You should be a stand-up comic, you could imitate anyone. -- Heather McDonald
Those of you who are not aware of my brilliant career as a stand up comic, I'm not aware of it either so we might well wonder what we're doing here. -- Alan Rickman
I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter. -- George Carlin
I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies. -- Wanda Sykes

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