Lottery quotes:

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I have never played the lottery in my life and never will. Voltaire described lotteries as a tax on stupidity. More specifically, I think, on innumeracy. -- Daniel Tammet
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery. -- Bill Watterson
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? -- Jay Leno
Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life. -- Cecil Rhodes
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. -- Fran Lebowitz
Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation. -- Douglas Coupland
Forget the lottery. Bet on yourself instead. -- Brian Koslow
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. -- Ambrose Bierce
Knock on wood, but I think we hit the gestational carrier lottery! -- Giuliana Rancic
In twenty years, the Lottery has raised over $1.4 billion. It has been run successfully and efficiently. -- Jane D. Hull
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. -- Fran Lebowitz
Although it's easy to forget sometimes, a share is not a lottery ticket... it's part-ownership of a business. -- Peter Lynch
Getting a role in 'Harry Potter' was like winning the lottery. But no one deserves an acting job. -- Jessie Cave
Professionally, I feel like I won the lottery and I am the luckiest person in the entire world. -- Jonah Hill
People would love to be rich, but they're looking for the easy way. Who wouldn't want to win the lottery? Just to score. -- Bryan Cranston
I despise the Lottery. There's less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit on the head by a passing asteroid. -- Brian May
Adventure upon all the tickets in the lottery, and you lose for certain; and the greater the number of your tickets the nearer your approach to this certainty. -- Adam Smith
Everyone thinks they've won the Magical Belief Lottery. Everyone thinks they more or less have a handle on things, that they, as opposed to the billions who disagree with them, have somehow lucked into the one true belief system. -- R. Scott Bakker
What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery. -- Kinky Friedman
Certain sincerely devout and spiritually advanced people believe that the God of their understanding helps them find parking places and gives them advice on Mass. Lottery numbers. -- David Foster Wallace
If I got $300 million from the California Lottery, the first thing I would do is buy the rights to 'Firefly', make it on my own, and distribute it on the Internet. -- Nathan Fillion
Some of today's athletes do not have that kind of pride. They left school at 16, have never had a job in their life and are getting Lottery funding, earning money as an athlete. -- Linford Christie
The late 1990s were good to me. I was doing the Lottery, GMTV and I had a good contract with ITV. But I was working so hard, I never had time to celebrate. I never thought I was lucky. -- Anthea Turner
Writing books and being paid for it - it's not like winning the Lottery. You can't suddenly go, 'Yippee!' and start throwing tenners in the air. I've done pretty well out of it, but certainly not enough to say, 'Right, that's me set up for life.' -- Joanne Harris
There are no races. Only lotteries. -- Jacques Anquetil
I won the lottery. I don't care what it costs. -- Jack Whittaker
I won the family lottery. I come from the best family in the world. -- Jake Epstein
The death penalty is being applied in the United States as a fatal lottery. -- Bianca Jagger
You know what you call the two winners of that $580 million PowerBall lottery? ... Former Democrats -- Jay Leno
To get syndicated as a comic strip artist is as likely as winning the lottery. -- Stephan Pastis
Getting on a popular, long-running show like 'Happy Days' is the actor's equivalent of winning the lottery. -- Bryce Dallas Howard
Those who have prospered and profited from life's lottery have a moral obligation to share their good fortune. -- Dick Gephardt
If you can measure success in this business based on happiness alone I feel like I've hit the lottery. -- Justin Long
My first audition was for a commercial for the lottery. I didn't get it, so I hate the lottery. -- Kat Dennings
Luck is not as random as you think. Before that lottery ticket won the jackpot, someone had to buy it. -- Vera Nazarian
The state of radio is not great. It's like playing the lottery. The chances of hitting are mind boggling slim. -- Teddy Thompson
I think the lottery changed everything for us. Once we got Sidney, it helped us turn this franchise around overnight. -- Mario Lemieux
Why do people play the lottery, or why do people gamble, period? You know, it's with the hope of winning something more. -- Derek Kilmer
I think people really marry far too much; it is such a lottery after all, and for a poor woman a very doubtful happiness. -- Queen Victoria
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -- Matt Groening
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. -- Scott Adams
We've all heard stories of lottery winners, rock stars, heirs and heiresses, and professional athletes becoming millionaire morons who wake up rich but are broke by nightfall. -- Robert Kiyosaki
The visa lottery system poses a national security threat. Under the program, each successful applicant is chosen at random and given the status of permanent resident based on pure luck. -- Bob Goodlatte
I'm not engaged in predicting random number generators. I actually get phone calls from people who want to know what lottery numbers are going to win. I don't have a clue. -- Bruce Bueno de Mesquita
My wife said to me: 'If you won the lottery, would you still love me?' I said: 'Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you.' -- Frank Carson
Writing is not the lottery. New writers have to be realistic about what it takes to get published. But there is one similarity to the lottery: You have to play to win. -- Lori Perkins
That paper money has some advantages is admitted. But that its abuses also are inevitable and, by breaking up the measure of value, makes a lottery of all private property, cannot be denied. -- Thomas Jefferson
They say getting a show on the air and having it be a success, literally, the odds are like winning the lottery. For me, I've won the lottery several times, so I've been awfully lucky. -- Annie Potts
Like the rest of the genetic lottery, beauty is unfair. Everyone falls short of perfection, but some are luckier than others. Real confidence requires self-knowledge, which includes recognizing one's shortcomings as well as one's strengths. -- Virginia Postrel
If you don't like the idea that most of the money spent on lottery tickets supports government programs, you should know that most of the earnings from mutual funds support investment advisors' and mutual fund managers' retirement. -- Robert Kiyosaki
You need a lot of luck to find people with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Some people manage to find their soul mate. Others don't. I think love is like a lottery. -- Kylie Minogue
The good news is that going blind is not going to make you as unhappy as you think it will. The bad news is that winning the lottery will not make you as happy as you expect. -- Daniel Gilbert
When I go to Afghanistan, I realize I've been spared, due to a random genetic lottery, by being born to people who had the means to get out. Every time I go to Afghanistan I am haunted by that. -- Khaled Hosseini
I think the reason I love 'Antiques Roadshow' is that it is sort of like the lottery. There's the chance a regular Joe could walk in with anything and come out close to a millionaire. There's the thrill of the find. -- Lara Spencer
We've created a multitrillion-dollar edifice for dispensing the medical equivalent of lottery tickets - and have only the rudiments of a system to prepare patients for the near certainty that those tickets will not win. Hope is not a plan, but hope is our plan. -- Atul Gawande
A man who cannot win fame in big own age will have a very small chance of winning it from posterity. True, there are some half-dozen exceptions to this truth among millions of myriads that attest it; but what man of common sense would invest any large amount of hope in so unpromising a lottery? -- Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton
If we had no hope - for a cure, for winning the lottery, for falling in love, for the end of war, for being free of abuse, or for having food, warmth, clothing, and shelter - we would have no reason to go on. What you hope for doesn't matter, but rather the essence of hope itself. -- Bernie Siegel
If you're healthy, if you don't get sick much, if you don't go to the doctor much or use your health insurance much, you are a genetic lottery winner. It has nothing to do with the way you live, nothing to do with doing the right things. It's just sheer luck, and you are gonna pay for that. -- Rush Limbaugh
There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. There are certain lottery tickets I can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. -- Elizabeth Gilbert
I've won Satan's lottery. -- Christopher Moore
Life is a rotten lottery. -- John Waters
Birth is life's first lottery ticket. -- Jeffrey Archer
A lottery is a tax on stupidity. -- Ambrose Bierce
Winning a lottery may prove to be bad luck. -- James Cook
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. -- Steven Wright
Five sets is a kind of lottery. Anything can happen. -- Marat Safin
A lottery is the perfect tax...laid only upon the willing. -- George Washington
We have won the time lottery of the last 4 billion years. -- Stefan Molyneux
Well you can't win the lottery if you don't have a ticket -- Andy Gray
You've won the evolutionary lottery: You're a vampire. Let's go to Disneyland! -- J.R. Ward
A lottery is a taxation on all of the fools in creation. -- Henry Fielding
War may be an auction for countries. For soldiers it's a lottery. -- David Mitchell
Winning the lottery is winning the lottery. It's highly unlikely and very unusual. -- Lori Lansens
Life's a lottery, and man should make up his mind to the blanks. -- George Colman the Elder
Hard work is great. It buys you more tickets to the luck lottery. -- Steven David Levine
God's prayer-line is not a wheel of fortune or lottery for the indolent. -- Bryant McGill
Being hungover is like winning the lottery, only they pay you in regret. -- Ryan North
The world neither ever saw, nor ever will see, a perfectly fair lottery. -- Adam Smith
Hope! fortune's cheating lottery; when for one prize an hundred blanks there be! -- Abraham Cowley
When you commit a serious doping offence you are not eligible for lottery funding. -- John Scott
An important key to investing is to remember that stocks are not lottery tickets. -- Peter Lynch
Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness. -- Virginie des Rieux
No one makes a million dollars with minimal effort unless they win the lottery. -- Gary Vaynerchuk
We all have won the lottery of life. How do we discharge that responsibility? -- Sheryl WuDunn
War is a lottery in which nations ought to risk nothing but small amounts. -- Napoleon Bonaparte
Life is like a huge lottery in which only the winning tickets are visible. -- Jostein Gaarder
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. -- Farquhar McGillivray Knowles
To be born English is to win first prize in the lottery of life. -- Cecil Rhodes
I have been very lucky, I have won prizes and I've even won the lottery. -- Erro
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? -- Steven Wright
You could buy 100 lottery tickets and not win, or you could buy one and get it, -- Luis Gonzalez
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. -- Steven Wright
This is a robbery, boy, gimme them dollars. We hit the lottery, boy, it's in ya wallets! -- RZA
Life is a lottery that we've already won. But most people have not cashed in their tickets. -- Louise Hay
The basic story remains simple and never-ending. Stocks aren't lottery tickets. There's a company attached to every share. -- Peter Lynch
Getting a role in Harry Potter was like winning the lottery. But no one deserves an acting job. -- Jessie Cave
It's sad, the lottery. Good projects get funded by it, but there's an air of desperation about it. -- Nina Conti
I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing. -- Jimmy Carr
It is a bad business, dealing in lottery tickets ... Riches got in such a hasty manner never wear well. -- Sarah Josepha Hale
Sometimes we think people are like lottery tickets, that they're there to make our most absurd dreams come true. -- Carlos Ruiz Zafon
She was staying. A little longer. V smiled to himself. So this was what winning the lottery felt like. -- J.R. Ward
I count myself lucky, having long ago won a lottery paid to me in seven sunrises a week for life. -- Robert Brault
I count myself lucky, having long ago won a lottery paid to me in seven sunrises a week for life. -- Robert Brault
The lottery of honest labor, drawn by time, is the only one whose prizes are worth taking up and carrying home. -- Theodore Parker
as long as there is a lottery, we the people of the United States must believe in getting something for nothing. -- Fay Faron
Christian, you are the state lottery, the cure for cancer, and the three wishes from Aladdin's lamp all rolled into one -- E. L. James
Writing is all a lottery -- I have been a loser by the works of the greatest men of the age. -- Tobias Smollett
Intimacy with a beloved pet or special animal makes millions of people feel as though they win the lottery every day. -- Marty Becker
I have a form of ESP that allows me to consistently pick losing lottery numbers, and generally make poor life choices. -- Joey Comeau
Being an actor is like winning the lottery. It's not really about your talent, it's right time, right place, right face. -- Vincent Kartheiser
In theory we are all equal before the law. In practice, there are overwhelming privileges that come with winning the birth lottery. -- Arianna Huffington
Innovation is a discipline not a lottery... It comes from the combination of two elements within my control: hard work and openmindedness. -- Georges St-Pierre
Obviously, drafts sometimes are good ones, or bad ones; I think you can get a good, quality player late in the lottery. -- Grant Hill
If I won the lottery,I would love to buy an airfield and populate it with enthusiasts like myself, and old airplanes. -- Martin Shaw
The lottery is a tax on ignorance, and all the losers that play the game are paying the price for their stupidity. -- Neal Boortz
I'm happy to be reminded that an ordinary day full of nothing but nothingness can make you feel like you've won the lottery. -- Susan Orlean
He is annoyed with their lack of interest, their blithe ignorance of the arbitrary genetic lottery that has granted them their privileged lives. -- Khaled Hosseini
If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres. -- Alexei Sayle
The price for sitting and watching game shows and betting on lottery is that the vast majority of the viewers will never become rich -- Robert Kiyosaki
I don't regret not coming out early. A lot of people felt that I could have been a lottery pick, but we'll never know. -- Michael Finley

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