Ryan North quotes:

I'm totally applying assumed Creative Commons rights.

We're all already aware of boobies; it is the general state of most people in North America! THANKS, MEDIA AND THE MALE GAZE

Being hungover is like winning the lottery, only they pay you in regret.

Don't worry, it's very clear that the painting was done by a human, most likely a human with one eye removed and a feverent if incorrect understanding of design and anatomy.

Failure is just success rounded down.

I speculate that the genesis of the chicken-joke lies in some situation such as the one illustrated above, but over time the original context of the joke was lost, which left the chicken sadly decontextualized.

Scientists need to invent a way to make DNA work like in cartoons.

They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.

We need to encourage our kids to express their feelings. We need to help them find their voice.

But giving up's easy. You know what's hard? To believe in your own worth, to know you've got something special in you even if nobody else can see it. Even when you can't.

If you find you are not understanding my explaination for a joke, hit F5 on your browser and the page will refresh and I will explain it again.

I'm suddenly worried people will think that I believe their religion can be summed up on four sex-obsessed sentences.

Progress! Progress through everybody dying and their kids eventually not caring who their parents hated!

Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something.

The secret to writing sound effects is having a room you can be alone in, trying to make the sounds yourself, and seeing what comes out. It's similar to if you're writing a character talking with their mouth full: the only way I know to transcribe that is to stuff my fist in my mouth and write down what sounds I make when I try to talk.