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Six Secrets to Being a Successful Humorist 1. Be scared, unhappy, and an outcast as a kid. 2. Drop out of high school. 3. Spend time alone. 4. Don't take a comedy course. 5. Read other humorists but don't worship them. 6. Don't get your hopes up. -- Bruce McCall
I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist. -- Dick Gregory
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A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it. -- Don Herold
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you. -- Will Rogers
But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter. -- David Sedaris
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. -- Will Rogers
To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news. -- David Sedaris
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. -- Ambrose Bierce
The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance. -- Peter De Vries
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore. -- Garrison Keillor
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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people - that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature. -- James Thurber
Reactionary conservatives are smiling through the racial apocalypse. To them, race baiting is a joke, as 'humorist' Rush Limbaugh will tell you when he's calling Mexicans 'stupid.' Or it's a matter of semantics when they claim that Sonia Sotomayor is a 'racialist' which, far as I can tell, is the smooth jazz version of being a racist. -- John Ridley
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God is a great humorist. He just has a slow audience to work with. -- Garrison Keillor
I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart. -- Will Cuppy
If there's anything I hate it's the word humorist-I feel like countering with the word seriousist. -- Peter De Vries
How will I be remembered? As a technician or artist? As a humorist or a visionary? -- Norman Rockwell
The humorist has a good eye for the humbug; he does not always recognize the saint. -- W. Somerset Maugham
Today the outlandish becomes routine overnight. The humorist is trying to say that it's still outlandish. -- William Zinsser
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I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor. -- Dick Gregory
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist. -- George Burns
You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one -- Will Rogers
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself. -- James Thurber
When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist. -- Johnny Carson
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By his provocations to good-natured merriment, a humorist of the first water contributes as much to the sum of happiness as the gravest philosopher. -- Christian Nestell Bovee
If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer. -- George Burns
I've never made up events, but I've always been a big exaggerator. It's written on my humorist license that I'm allowed to do that. -- David Sedaris
When a humorist ventures upon the grave concerns of life he must do his job better than another man or he works harm to his cause. -- Mark Twain
HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick. -- Ambrose Bierce
In my more pompous moments I like to think of myself as a writer rather than a humorist, but I suppose that's merely the vanity of advancing age. -- S. J. Perelman
A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes. -- Alan Coren
I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist. -- Nick Offerman
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist. -- Andy Rooney
I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange. -- Demetri Martin
I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all. -- Garrison Keillor
When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist. -- Johnny Carson
Humor is an escape, because you cannot think about your problems when you are trying to be funny; so, in essence, "being a humorist" gives you a valid excuse to hide from your pain. -- Dave Barry
You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humour teaches tolerance, and the humorist, with a smile and perhaps a sigh, is more likely to shrug his shoulders than to condemn. -- W. Somerset Maugham

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