Funny Drinking quotes:

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I can resist everything except temptation. -- Oscar Wilde
I am a drinker with writing problems. -- Brendan Behan
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. -- Mark Twain
I drink to make other people more interesting. -- Ernest Hemingway
Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. -- Kinky Friedman
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. -- Tom Waits
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. -- W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. -- W. C. Fields
I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite. -- Bette Midler
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. -- David Lee Roth
Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets. -- Dudley Moore
Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they're drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle. -- Paul McCartney
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going. -- Rodney Dangerfield
There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others. -- Raymond Chandler
There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers. -- Chelsea Handler
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. -- Steve Martin
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony. -- Robert Benchley
I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again. -- Charles Bukowski
I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host. -- Dorothy Parker
Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death. -- Ben Jonson
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it. -- Mark Twain
A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly. -- Winston Churchill
Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go To heal my heart and drown my woe Rain may fall, and wind may blow And many miles be still to go But under a tall tree will I lie And let the clouds go sailing by -- J. R. R. Tolkien

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