Bette Midler quotes:

I celebrate everyone's religious holidays. if it's good enough for the righteous, it's good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.

Cherish forever what makes you unique, 'cuz you're really a yawn if it goes.

Group conformity scares the pants off me because it's so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn't want to - or can't - join the Big Parade.

My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.

I'd make a wonderful Lady Macbeth. I'll wear a pair of platform shoes or something.

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London.

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

I always try to balance the light with the heavy - a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.

I got so far away from what they told you in acting class: Do something different. Producers kept offering me the 'Sister Act' movie, but I said, 'My fans don't want to see me in a wimple.' I literally said, 'My fans don't want to see me in a wimple.'

Education is my next big thing. When music and art were taken out of the schools, I went berserk!

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

I learned to accept the audience's happiness for me, which is one of the hardest things for me to learn.

When I moved to New York City in 1965, I wanted to be in theater. I was following my Ethel Barrymore dream. But I was too young to be Ethel.

Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, I'll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?

I firmly believe that with the right footwear one can rule the world.

Music is probably the only place I get energy from. Music and maybe watching a really tremendous performer, watching a terrific performer like Jagger or watching a great movie.

I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

The worst part of success is to try finding someone who is happy for you.

I sometimes think I should go back to school to learn French and music, but who would have me?

My whole life has been spent waiting for an epiphany, a manifestation of God's presence, the kind of transcendent, magical experience that let's you see your place in the big picture. And that is what I had with my first compost heap.

Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it's like a jackhammer.

A lot of people have no access to beauty. When I was growing up, my mother had only a few pretty things to look at.

I had a hard-scrabble childhood with my parents. I have a lot of baggage. To come down to the footlights and accept the audience's affection inside a Broadway theater - that didn't come easily to me.

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.

I'd never done a straight play before, never, and it was very hard work - really, really hard work. It was dense, really wordy, and I was determined to learn every word of it - not just skip over bits and pieces.

I'm working my way toward divinity.

before one actually visits them, everyone tends to think of their favorite countries as one grand Disneyland filled with national monuments and historical treasures conveniently laid out for easy viewing, when what they really are filled with, of course, is people going to work, laundromats and places to buy rat poison.

For days on end, I would hardly speak, and when I did only the vilest sort of gibberish would spout forth. I became morose and fat. Unapproachable, except when eating - and then only by waiters.

My husband calls it winging it - the way I just took what the studios gave me, didn't do my homework and avoided roles that would risk my image.

I love nature, in spite of what it did to me.

I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Never watch anything stupider than you. It's helped me a lot.

Sometimes my brain goes on CD shuffle. You know, you put a bunch of CD's on and hit play and random things come out.

I mean, can I really create a full, three-dimensional character? I don't know anymore. I'm certainly going to try.

The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.

I'm the last of the truly tacky women. I do trash with flash and sleaze with ease.

I wouldn't say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.

I already have a Tony for my Broadway concert in '73. It's one of the most precious things I've won.

If I could be granted a wish, I'd shine in your eye like a jewel.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

I hope to keep entertaining in some way until I can't physically entertain any longer. It's what I was born to do, and I love this profession.

If only I'd known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.

The people who are out to destroy the environment think they're going to get away with it. Are they breathing different air than we're breathing? Are they eating different food? I mean, where do they think they're going to go? What do they think is going to be better than what they have destroyed? I just don't get it.

I haven't left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we're screwed!

If you can accept your differentness and learn to love it and encourage it, then you can be someone wonderful.

Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reeds. Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your heart to bleed. Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need. I say love, it is a flower and you, its only seed.

I have my standards. They're low, but I have them.

Let the sun stop burning, Let them tell me love's not worth going through. If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, The only dream that mattered had come true ...In this life I was loved by you.

A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I've chosen not to be.

People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.

I feel like a million tonight - but one at a time.

It's the Point of Your View that Decides What You See - / One Man's Flop Is Another Man's Hit. / From Manners to Movies, the Picture Keeps Changing / Depending Upon Where You Sit.

Self-esteem is something you have to earn! The only way to achieve self-esteem is to work hard. People have an obligation to live up to their potential.

Men's brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

I think most of us are torn. We have at least two people at war in our body. One person wants to retire and grow fabulous tomatoes, and the other wants to stand up on a pedestal and be worshipped and get bigger and bigger and bigger until she explodes.

Find your Light; They can't love you if they can't see you

I believe that Judy Garland's artistry was so fine. I mean, when people say: 'oh, she brought so much of her life to her music', I don't really believe that. I believe that she didn't have to. She just was a moving human being. That was her gift.

Without passion, the powers-that-be can run roughshod over you.

Make sure your life is a rare entertainment! It doesn't take anything drastic. You needn't be gorgeous or wealthy or smart, just very enthusiastic!

When it's time to shuffle off this mortal coil, you leave your ashes to be composted.

Just remember, during the winter, far beneath the bitter snow, that there's a seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes a rose.

You can't just have a clean public space - you also have to have people willing to use it, and something that will draw them in.

[On Denmark:] ... that little country of cottage cheese and courage ...

The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.

Sometimes you have to make your own opportunities and that's why I'm on TV. I wasn't going to sit around anymore, waiting patiently for the damn phone to ring. I had to create my own place- I've always done that.

I never know how much of what I say is true.

There comes a time whenyou haveto let yourclothesgo out in the world and try to make it on their own.

GOD is watching us, from a Distance...

All these rumors about [Tom Cruise] being gay. I don't believe it. I don't believe it for one minute. He hasn't been to one of my shows.

The [film] industry is an ecosystem that's sick.

Through books and photographs, I saw a world that was not my own - and I realized that there was another world. That's why I'm concerned about education, because it helps our children see other worlds.

Honey, I can smell the scent of another woman from 500 paces.

Thank God for the gays. I don't know what would have happened but I know what did happen. Good for them and good for me.

I had no idea of being a star, all I knew was that I wanted to be a great actress, I wanted to work as an actress. So I thought the way I would be a great actress was to sing and dance first. Lay a foundation - get my foot in the door, and then undoubtedly, of course, I would be offered great roles as soon as I grew up enough to handle them.

You have to think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you're not.

I want it all - and I would like it delivered.

Total contentment is only for cows.

If you're passionate about something, then you should pick up your flag and run with it.

The outside world doesn't have a lot to offer. You have to make your own heaven in your own home.

I was brought up on rock-'n'-roll. It was sort of funny because I couldn't get interested in anything else - I tried and tried but I couldn't get into science...or mathematics, I just cut myself off from anything else there was to get interested in.

If somebody makes me laugh, Iâ??m his slave for life.

Sold my soul. Bought these devil chains.

That's our mission: to clean and green New York City - one block at a time.

Unfortunately, every time there's a budget crunch in New York, the Parks Department is usually the first to be cut. So they need all the help they can get.

I've forbidden my daughter to have grandchildren, I'm too young.

When my daughter was younger we showed her all the great musicals. And the great dramas and great comedies, and the one that she took to the most was Some Like It Hot.

As you age, feelings do diminish.

There are bugs and there are the pigeons and other predators, but you shouldn't be afraid of them, because this is how nature works.

My mother would only let us go to the musicals.

Culturally, it's very hard to change people's attitudes about public space.

We are all part of the ecosystem.

Everyone goes through their winters and springs, and their summers and autumns.

It's important that you all agree on what the parameters are and what you can accomplish - and not get pissed off or beat yourself up for what you can't accomplish.

If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.

Me, I'm just a hack. I'm just a schlep-per. I just do what I can do.

I sold my soul to rock and roll.

I can get plenty of men, keeping them is the hard part.

Melbourne is the kind of town that really makes you consider the question 'Is there life after death?

[On Helen Reddy:] She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.

Self-esteem is something you have to earn!

If I don't feel right about what I'm in, I don't feel right about anything.

[On Princess Anne:] Such an active, outdoorsy lass. She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.

People have an obligation to live up to their potential.

I'm so glad to be back in New York. Los Angeles can be so cold, so cruel after you've been-what's the word?-oh yes: 'fired.'

Do I understand this right? I'm being marked down?

I've always said we got married because there was nothing on TV.

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.

Enough about me. What do you think about me?

From a distance the world looks blue and green, and the snow-capped mountains white. From a distance the ocean meets the stream, and the eagle takes to flight. From a distance, there is harmony, and it echoes through the land. It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace, it's the voice of every man

I wish America would spend even half as much time complaining about plastics in our oceans as we do about actresses' plastic surgery.

Twenty-seven people sang 'Wind Beneath My Wings' before I got around to it. A lot of people saw the movie that I sang it in, Beaches, and what they came away with was that song. They turned to their loved ones and said, 'You know, you are the wind beneath my wings!' The song expressed how they felt in a way a simple 'I love you' would not have.

I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close - a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

It's the one who won't be taken that cannot seem to give, and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.

Here I am, one of the most colorful women of my time - if not of my block - being made to sound positively legumelike in printed interviews.

Life is like cooking your masterpiece recipe. You have to get the right ingredients,have the right mixture and the right cooking time to reveal the PERFECT and DELICIOUS TASTE of your craft.

The [film] business is run by men, and they're basically interested in their own species, and they're not so interested in women belonging to the human race.

The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed.

The inventor of the modern foundation garment that we women wear today was a German scientist and opera lover by the name of Otto Titsling.