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Let's name the sentimental hog Arnold -- Anthony Woodville, 2nd Earl Rivers
Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a condom full of walnuts.... -- Clive James
I grew up watching Lee Trevino, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer. -- Molly Sims
All cartoonists are geniuses, but Arnold Roth is especially so. -- John Updike
I couldn't pronounce Arnold Schwarzenegger, so I called him Balloon Belly. -- Joe Gold
My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Tutu. -- Billy Wilder
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, they make bad movie after bad movie. -- Peter Stormare
In my opinion, Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn't qualified to be governor of California. -- James Garner
I use an Arnold Palmer putter that was probably built back in 1954. -- Lee Trevino
I learned from Arnold Schwarzenegger, too, that it's O.K. to be pluggish. -- Dave Pelzer
I'm not prepared for holding office any more than I think Arnold is. -- Edward James Olmos
Arnold has had his spokesman call me a crackpot. That was a mistake. -- Warren Beatty
Yo, I'm the illest. Plus I know more different strokes than Arnold and Willis. -- Big Daddy Kane
Everybody thought of me as Arnold Horshack. I resented Horshack for so many years. -- Ron Palillo
Happy birthday to Arnold Palmer, who turned 82. That's 41 years iced tea and 41 years lemonade. -- Jimmy Fallon
If the president and the Vice President dies who becomes President" "Thats easy Arnold Swartzanager -- Dan Gutman
Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility. -- Bob Hope
There's no one in the world close to Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is a phenomenon. He's brilliant. -- Sylvester Stallone
My first writing jobs were writing Tom Arnold specials for HBO, so I love working there. -- Judd Apatow
Arnold Bennett was a writer I admired. He was actually taking notes at his father's deathbed. -- Hugh Leonard
My swing is no uglier than Arnold Palmer's, and it's the same ugly swing every time. -- Nancy Lopez
I have two questions about Arnold Schwarzenegger. What does he know, and when will he know it? -- Bill Maher
And one of my favorites was Eddy Arnold of course. He just had that smooth, soulful voice. -- Little Milton
I don't suppose anybody's ever enjoyed being who they are more than Arnold's enjoyed being Arnold Palmer. -- Dan Jenkins
Today Arnold Schwarzenegger made another major announcement. He said his lieutenant governor will be Xena, Warrior Princess. -- Jay Leno
Arnold said this is a last minute attack by Democrats. How did Arnold know to grope only Democrats? -- Jay Leno
Arnold Schwarzenegger blew away dozens of cops as the Terminator. But I don't hear anybody complaining about that. -- Ice T
We want to see ourselves reflected in our heroes. Unfortunately most of us don't look like Arnold Schwarzenegger. -- Walton Goggins
Everyone goes "every comedian does Arnold Schwarzenegger". Yes, they do; but do they do Arnold Schwarzenegger in Brokeback Mountain? -- Pablo Francisco
People sometimes have to correct my English. I knew I had a problem when Arnold Schwarzenegger started doing it. -- George W. Bush
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said. -- David Letterman
I always look to see what Arnold [Palmer] shot; it's a habit. We will always compete against each other. -- Jack Nicklaus
I wanna live like Arnold, Willis and Mr. Drummond... And keep my paper sturdy, big birds and tight herbs. -- Pimp C
Are you excited about the recall election? Arnold's campaign has a new slogan: 'Win one for the groper.' -- David Letterman
Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno. -- David Letterman
The Paradox of Change: People can only change when they feel accepted as they are now. Dr. Arnold Beisser Pg 220 -- John Kuypers
I voted for Arnold Schwarzenegger 'cause I figured he can go back in the future. Put that in the act. -- Pablo Francisco
You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meg Whitman have in common? They both got in trouble for stiffing the maid. -- Jay Leno
You mean the fact that Tom Arnold would spend more time with the hair and makeup people than I would? -- Lisa Guerrero
Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator. -- David Letterman
It never occurs to Arnold that the ball won't go in the hole, but I'm always surprised when it does. -- Gene Littler
Arnold Schwarzenegger cut teacher's salaries and parks and libraries rather than raise taxes for the many California millionaires and billionaires. -- Adam McKay
Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material. -- David Letterman
I recently read that Arnold Schwarzenegger collects Hummers. Now we know why Maria's face is frozen in that puckered position. -- Brad Wilkerson
Yoga may look peaceful and calming, but even Arnold Schwarzenegger would have trouble breathing after twenty 'surya namaskars' in a row. -- Kareena Kapoor Khan
Yoga may look peaceful and calming, but even Arnold Schwarzenegger would have trouble breathing after twenty surya namaskars in a row. -- Kareena Kapoor
Don't protest outside of a rich man's house in the daytime, you'll just scare the maid, and that's Arnold Schwarzenegger's job. -- Craig Ferguson
What's it like being opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger? For me? Are you kidding? Maybe if I'm lucky, come up to his navel! -- Linda Hunt
How many people saw Arnold's speech last night? I haven't seen that many Kennedys in one place since their last trial. -- David Letterman
I hate England and its hopelessness. I hate [Arnold] Bennett's resignation. Tragedy ought really to be a great big kick at misery. -- D. H. Lawrence
The action heroes were very cool as a kid. You would compare yourself with them - Jean-Claude Van Damme and Arnold Schwarzenegger. -- Sergei Polunin
Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan - 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II -- Craig Kilborn
Toward the end of his life, [Arnold] Toynby said the Christianity he saw developing was brittle, imperialistic and incapable of reforming itself. -- John Shelby Spong
Critics say Arnold has no previous government experience, but advisers say he's clearly the most qualified Austrian, ex-Mr. Universe in the race. -- Craig Kilborn
We ran an up-tempo, transition-style of game at Boston College - very similar to what we ran when I played for Arnold. -- Bob Cousy
Six women have come forward that say Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them without their consent. This proves he would be a hands-on governor. -- Jay Leno
In those days, the late 1970s, one of the leading politicians was a soon-to-be uncle by marriage of Arnold Schwarzenegger, named Ted Kennedy. -- Michael Kinsley
The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels. -- Craig Kilborn
Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of body builders. -- Bill Maher
Arnold Schwarzenegger is now governor of California. He is a very shrewd man - he already has all of his sex scandals behind him. -- David Letterman
Arnold was a dog's dog. Whenever he shuffled along walks and through alleyways, he always gave the impression of being on to something big. -- Martha Grimes
If ever I needed an eight foot putt, and everything I owned depended on it, I would want Arnold Palmer to putt for me. -- Bobby Jones
President Bush called Arnold to congratulate him today, and after he got off the phone, Arnold said, 'I thought my English was bad.' -- Jay Leno
Arnold Rampersad is a really good person. A really good person. As a matter of fact, he came to Stanford when I was Provost. -- Condoleezza Rice
There's no one in the world close to Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is a phenomenon. He's brilliant. Just because his physique belies that, don't underestimate him. -- Sylvester Stallone
The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.' -- Craig Kilborn
Arnold Schwarzenegger made his tax returns public, [and] now there's a problem about him stretching the truth. Apparently under occupation he put down 'actor.' -- Jay Leno
I like athletic men, but not like Arnold Schwarzenegger, though he's gorgeous. A guy's got to be sexy, optimistic, like to have a good time. -- Terry Farrell
Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies. -- Craig Kilborn
I'd like to talk to Arnold Schwarzenegger, 'cause I live in California and I just want to see that canned, chemical filled body in my office. -- Henry Rollins
Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today, Al Gore agreed with him. That's so typical. Two cyborgs, 'Oh, let's blame the humans.' -- Jay Leno
To me, Arnold was a pioneer in the spirit of Thomas Edison or Benjamin Franklin, while Tiger is a pioneer in the spirit of Bill Gates. -- Mark McCormack
My experiences with the older audience and, selectively, the people I hang out with or run into, they all want to see Arnold [Schwarzenegger] kick some ass. -- Lorenzo di Bonaventura
"Moderate" Republicans such as Arnold Schwarzenegger like to boast that they're fiscal conservatives and social liberals. But the social liberalism always ends up burying the fiscal conservatism. -- Mark Steyn
Arnold Schwarzenegger got into a huge debate with Arianna Huffington about immigration - going back and forth - finally immigration came in and hauled them both away. -- David Letterman
I mean, everyone walks into the gym on day one skinny or fat. Arnold Schwarzenegger walked into the gym skinny at 15 or 16, and I was that way, too. -- Joe Manganiello
Just like Tim Robbins is very political - and obviously, Arnold Schwarzenegger must be - I want to be able to have this public personality that's considered authoritative. -- Christy Carlson Romano
Just like Tim Robbins is very political - and obviously, Arnold Schwarzenegger must be - I want to be able to have this public personality that's considered authoritative. -- Christy Carlson Romano
Eunice Kennedy Shriver, President Kennedy's sister, endorsed Arnold Schwarzenegger, said he's not a womanizer. Of course by Kennedy standards that means he never drove one off a bridge. -- Bill Maher
On New York's Palm restaurant: Their steaks are often good, but the lobsters-with claws the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger's forearms-are as glazed and tough as most of the customers. -- Malcolm Forbes
I grew up idolizing these men, like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I loved Sly (Stallone). I loved Bruce Willis. These guys embodied everything that action was in the 80s and 90s. -- Katee Sackhoff
People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife. -- Craig Kilborn
Arnold and Jamie Lee must have worked over the years with directors that did 50 takes, because I'd get like three takes or so and say, Ok, that's it, we're done. -- Penelope Spheeris
An old interview of Arnold Schwartzenegger has surfaced where he admits to smoking a lot of pot and having sex with hookers. Finally a Republican all Californians can get behind. -- David Letterman
The biggest rival I had in my career was me. I couldn't control Arnold Palmer, Gary Player, Tom Watson or Lee Trevino. The only person I could control was me. -- Jack Nicklaus
Arnold Palmer has what I call an 'Eisenhower smile'. Those two men, they'd smile and their whole faces would look so pleasant; it was like they were smiling all over. -- Byron Nelson
But the Republican right-wing agenda, these people - Arnold and his patrons - felt it could be accomplished by circumventing the Legislature and spending money and organizing and giving sound bites. -- Warren Beatty
My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg. -- Boris Johnson
Arnold Schwarzenegger, I don't know if you'd call him a great actor, but he's amazing in terms of his presence, and he is interesting enough that you want to watch him. -- F. Murray Abraham
High Concept means a book or a film whose core idea can be stated in a single sentence, such as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito are twins. Or, Arnold is pregnant. -- Martin Cruz Smith
The steroids I did were on a very, very low dosage. I didn't want to take a lot of that. I didn't want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger or Lou Ferrigno. -- Mark McGwire
The first time I ever saw Arnold Palmer, I said, There's a star. The first time I saw Jack Nicklaus, I said, Superstar. I feel the same way about Tiger Woods. -- Gary Player
Arnold Schwarzenegger's gubernatorial campaign raises a series of fascinating questions, the most perplexing of all being why an international star of his stature would ever want to run in the first place -- Michael Medved
Arnold Schwarzenegger's gubernatorial campaign raises a series of fascinating questions, the most perplexing of all being why an international star of his stature would ever want to run in the first place. -- Michael Medved
If you care about something enough, it's going to make you cry. But you have to use it. Use your tears. Use your pain. Use your fear. Get mad. Arnold, get mad. -- Sherman Alexie
David Arnold's writing is both heartfelt and hilarious. You will fall in love with Mim, even as her grand journey will keep you guessing. Mosquitoland reminds us that sometimes imperfect is just perfect. -- Ruta Sepetys
Arnold's place in history will be as the man who took golf from being a game for the few to a sport for the masses. He was the catalyst who made that happen. -- Jack Nicklaus
Maria Shriver is credited with helping Arnold win by standing by him despite allegations of groping. She had to stand by him cause Arnold had a vice grip on her left ass cheek. -- Craig Kilborn
High Concept' means a book or a film whose core idea can be stated in a single sentence, such as 'Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito are twins.' Or, 'Arnold is pregnant.' -- Martin Cruz Smith
I came out of high school, where my heroes were, like, Michael Jordan and a lot of local rugby players - and on the movie front, it was Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. -- Joel Edgerton
Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder. -- Bruce Lansky
The latest polls show that Arnold Schwarzenegger is trailing Lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante in the polls. That's insane. I mean, think about it, this guy Cruz Bustamante has never even been in a movie. -- David Letterman
The patriots of 1776 had far more to fear from Benedict Arnold than they did King George. An enemy easily identified is much less formidable than one who marches in the uniform of an ally. -- Chuck Baldwin
Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just an ambitious guy with a famous name, who doesn't know anything about running the government. Didn't hurt George Bush. -- Jay Leno
They say I can open movies, and that's nice in that it puts into people's minds that women can do it. It's not just Kevin Costner, not just Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not just the guys. -- Julia Roberts
When Abraham Lincoln was murdered The one thing that interested Matthew Arnold Was that the assassin shouted in Latin As he lept on the stage This convinced Matthew There was still hope for America. -- Christopher Morley
I used to listen to country and western and blues, John Lee Hooker, spirituals, the Bluegrass Boys, and Eddie Arnold. There was a radio station that come on everyday with country, spirituals, and the blues. -- Otis Rush
I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger kill a man in a movie by grabbing his head and twisting it until the neck broke. Was that difficult? Could a man do it without a lot of practice? -- David Wong
I'm pulling out, and I'm going to concentrate every ounce of time and energy over the next week working to defeat the recall because I realize now that's the only way to defeat Arnold Schwarzenegger. -- Arianna Huffington
Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction! -- Tim Allen
Well, I haven't really been able to shoot in California for a while. Little movies yeah, but the big movies we can't shoot there. It's just a shame that Arnold Schwarzenegger can't deliver on this level. -- Joel Silver
Tom Arnold and I, we have a huge firefight scene on top of a German tank. I get to shoot 50 caliber rounds. We shoot a helicopter out of the sky. That's the only fight I'm in. -- Anthony Anderson
It's very clear you have to engage the public and say: You have to vote no on 74, no on 75, no on 76, no on 77. Those are the issues that Arnold pushing. And those are reactionary, Republican initiatives. -- Warren Beatty
President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all. -- Bill Maher
I wrote for Roseanne. I wrote her stand-up act with her. I wrote with Tom Arnold. There was a period when I was working with them pretty steadily. But I would take brief gigs here and there. -- Judd Apatow
If Arnold is elected, you know who I'd feel sorry for? The people on death row. Imagine, you're about to be executed, the governor calls, you think it's your reprieve, and you hear 'Hasta la vista, baby.' -- Jay Leno
Arnold Schwarzenegger's publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for governor of California, saying that he will make a decision soon. Reportedly Arnold needs that time to learn how to pronounce 'gubernatorial.' -- Jimmy Fallon
At 99 and after a long stay in a nursing home, the death of legendary photographer Eve Arnold was hardly a surprise - though she may have been just a little annoyed to quit a few months short of 100. -- Beeban Kidron
Gary Player and others have said all of us should all give Arnold Palmer a percentage of our earnings because without you there would be no television contracts and without you it wouldn't be as good for anyone. -- Charlie Rose
Arnold has succeeded at every level, and I believe he is the only person that can unite the people of this state and lead California from its current dysfunctional condition to the bright future that all residents long for. -- Mary Bono

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