Talk Show Guest #3 Quotes in The Stupids (1996)
Talk Show Guest #3 Quotes:
Talk Show Hostess: Have you ever thought that you came from a strange or unusual family? Well, after you meat our guests, you might want to adjust your standards.
Talk Show Guest #1: I divorced my wife in order to marry her daughter.
Talk Show Guest #2: I married a siamese twin and had an affair with her sister.
Talk Show Guest #3: I've been engaged to three of my cousins.
Stanley Stupid: I'm, well, to tell you the truth, I'm my own Grandpa.
Talk Show Hostess: You're your own Grandpa? Well, for some of us who don't understand this, can you explain?
Stanley Stupid: Well, yes. It's quite simple, really.
Stanley Stupid: Many many years ago when I was twenty three/ I was married to a widow who was purdy as can be/ This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red/ My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed/
Stanley Stupid: This made my dad my son in law and changed my very life/ For my daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife/ To complicate the matters even though it brought me joy I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy/
Stanley Stupid: This little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad/ And so became my uncle though it made me very sad/ For if he was my uncle than it also makes him brother/ To the widow's grown-up daughter who of course if my stepmother/
Stanley Stupid: My father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run/ And he became my grandchild 'cause he was my daughter's son/ My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue/ For although she is my wife she is my grandmother too/
Stanley Stupid: If my wife is my grandmother than I am her grandchild/ And every time I think of this it nearly drives me wild/
Talk Show Hostess: has got to be the craziest thing I ever saw
Stanley Stupid: As husband to my grandmother I am my own grandpa!
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