Petunia Stupid Quotes in The Stupids (1996)


Petunia Stupid Quotes:

  • Buster Stupid: What if we formed our own army?

    Petunia Stupid: Then we'd have to form our own country.

    Joan Stupid: We could call it Stupidia.

  • Stanley Stupid: I'm stuck, I'm caught, I'm trapped! Somebody help me out here!

    Petunia Stupid: I'm cornered!

    Stanley Stupid: That's it, I'm cornered! That's the word I'm looking for.

  • Glamorous Actress: Some people think it's easy being a celebrity, but when they canceled my series "Malibu Beach Detective", I was just absolutely devastated.

    [the "Applause" sign comes on and the audience applauds]

    Late Night Show Host: Well, I'm sure everyone is very sympathetic for you. You've put so much work into such a fine series to have it taken off the air.

    Glamorous Actress: As an artist, I was truly crushed.

    [the "Applause" sign comes on again and the audience applauds]

    Glamorous Actress: It was the most awful, shocking, heartbreaking thing that's ever happened to me!

    [backstage, Petunia is unkowingly flipping the switch that turns the "Applause" sign on and off]

    Petunia Stupid: Mom, I can't get this light switch to work.

    Joan Stupid: Just a moment dear.

    [she writes "Give it to the fat guy" on a blank cue card]

    Joan Stupid: Now, let's take a look.

    [she fiddles with the switch and the sign comes on, with audience applauding]

    Glamorous Actress: Well, maybe you'd all be happier if there was no primetime television.

    [Joan fiddles with the switch some more; the audience keeps applauding]

    TV Director: What's going on?

    Glamorous Actress: You could spend every night reading books together.

    [Joan flips the switch; the audience applauds; the Glamourous Actress leaves]

    Late Night Show Host: Well, my next guest is a world-class French chef, so stay tuned, everyone, and let's...

    [reads from cue card which is actually a reminder note from Joan Stupid]

    Late Night Show Host: Give it to the fat guy!

    French Chef: Fat? Fat? Moi, fat?

    [yells in French]

    French Chef: [he starts shaking the host around while Joan flips the switch one last time and the audience applauds]

Browse more character quotes from The Stupids (1996)