One Two Quotes in RocknRolla (2008)
One Two Quotes:
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One Two: Let's go get those papers from your boyfriend. And drop me off on the way. I'm going back to bed.
Handsome Bob: Can I come?
[One Two slaps him]
-- One Two -
Handsome Bob: Five years, you know, I don't know if I can handle it...
One Two: I don't know what I was thinking, Bob. I mean, there's nothing wrong with being a poof or being a gay, or whatever it is you call it, I don't know. I mean, there's gonna be plenty of your lot in there. You'll probably love it.
Handsome Bob: Oh, God...
[pause]
One Two: What... what exactly is it that you... that you want to do to me, then, Bob?
-- One Two -
One Two: Come on, Bobby boy, cheer up.
Handsome Bob: What have I got to cheer up about? I'll be locked up in an 8-by-10 tomorrow night.
One Two: Bob, that's tomorrow night, okay? So tonight is take-off time. And we have got a party planned for you, my man! We got a couple of grams of "hurry up" and four "Jack the Rippers". We've got the Harris twins, probably the most expensive escort girls ever to have escorted; got the night off from the Russians and they have been greased down just for the Bobski!
[Handsome Bob rubs his eyes]
One Two: Okay, well, I see that cheered you up.
Handsome Bob: It's not that I'm not grateful, it's just...
One Two: What? It's just what?
Handsome Bob: You wouldn't understand...
One Two: Come on, Bobby boy, that's not fair. I'd understand anything coming from you.
Handsome Bob: Would you?
One Two: Bob, you're my best mate.
Handsome Bob: You see, I don't want the strippers, One Two.
One Two: Okay.
Handsome Bob: I want you.
[One Two chuckles, but Handsome Bob remains serious]
One Two: Dirty bastard... You dirty bastard!
[stops the car and gets out]
-- One Two -
One Two: Hello?
Stella: It's me.
One Two: Who?
Stella: ME.
One Two: Ahh. Well, what do you want?
Stella: You.
One Two: Well, you had better come in then.
-- One Two -
One Two: So you don't wanna know what happened?
Stella: I know what happened. Hollandaise?
One Two: I see you ordered already.
Stella: You were late. Shouldn't you have taken precautions?
One Two: Precautions?
Stella: Well, that's your job, isn't it? I didn't realize.
One Two: Realize? Realize that they had guns? Big, long, dangerous machine guns? With war criminals attached to the trigger?
[cue big getaway sequence by the Wild Bunch]
One Two: You know what, darling? I'm just gonna leave this laundry bag here, under the table for you, okey? Goodbye, sweetheart. You're way too dangerous for me.
-- One Two -
One Two: Nice shoes, by the way.
Stella: Thank you. You will be able to afford a pair of your own in a couple of days.
-- One Two -
One Two: Bob, I know all your girlfriends, all of them.
Handsome Bob: I told you, you wouldn't understand!
One Two: What, I wouldn't understand that you're a fucking homo? You're Handsome Bob! You're Handsome Bob, the fucking lady-killer, that's who you are! Do you hear me, Bob? I mean, I've had showers with you, man. You've seen my fucking cock!
-- One Two -
Mumbles: Did he make a pass on you?
One Two: Yes, he fucking did.
Mumbles: So, what's the problem? Eh? It was supposed to be his last night. You took care of him. That's what friends do for one another. Well done. And I won't tell the chaps.
-- One Two -
One Two: I've got one just like that at home, but with a little boy fishing.
Stella: Is that what they call humor where you're from?
One Two: Is that what they call art where you're from?
-- One Two -
Malcolm: Okay, gentlemen, let's go. First, my colleague Paul will be modeling the 'gray wolf.' I must apologize for my assistant's handicaps. He has unusually long arms and an alarmingly small neck. Now while I agree it doesn't seem the right time of year to be acquiring a coat with such thermal efficiency...
One Two: It is the middle of fucking summer.
Malcolm: However, Christmas is always around the corner!
-- One Two -
Stella: Drink?
One Two: Dance?
Stella: You're a dancer?
One Two: Am I a dancer? Shall we set the record straight? See, my dad was a dancer, and his dad before him. So, finally, it percolates through the old DNA. You're not joining me?
Stella: Sure. I like to dance.
-- One Two -
One Two: Abandon ship!
-- One Two -
Archie: [narrates] Oh, isn't that an unpleasant surprise. Because they don't want to owe Lenny.
One Two: We can't get the planning.
Archie: That's right sweetheart...
Mumbles: We can't get the planning?
Archie: ...you've been fucked.
-- One Two -
Mumbles: Who the fuck is Sydney Shaw?
One Two: No, Sydney Shaw is a pseudonym, you idiot. They never use their real name. Look, get around here and let me have a look, okay?
Mumbles: All right... Where did he learn a word like pseudonym?
-- One Two
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