Mr. Big Nose Quotes in Life of Brian (1979)

Centurion: Where is Brian of Nazareth?

Brian: You sanctimonious bastards!

Centurion: I have an order for his release!

Brian: You stupid bastards!

Mr. Cheeky: Uh, I'm Brian of Nazareth.

Brian: What?

Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, I - I - I'm Brian of Nazareth.

Centurion: Take him down!

Brian: I'm Brian of Nazareth!

Victim #1: Eh, I'm Brian!

Mr. Big Nose: I'm Brian!

Victim #2: Look, I'm Brian!

Brian: I'm Brian!

Victims: I'm Brian!

Gregory: I'm Brian, and so's my wife!

Victims: I'm Brian! I'm Brian!...

Brian: I'm Brian of Nazareth!

Centurion: All right. Take him away and release him.

Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm only joking. I'm not really Brian. No, I'm not Brian. I was only - It was a joke. I'm only pulling your leg! It's a joke! I'm not him! I'm just having you on! Put me back! Bloody Romans! Can't take a joke!

Mrs. Big Nose: [a crowd is listening to Jesus speak] Don't pick your nose!

Mr. Big Nose: I wasn't pickin' my nose! I was scratchin' it!

Mrs. Big Nose: You was pickin' it, while you was talkin' to that lady!

Mr. Big Nose: I wasn't!

Mrs. Big Nose: Leave it alone! Give it a rest!

Stan: Do you mind? I can't 'ear a word he's sayin'!

Mrs. Big Nose: Don't you 'Do you mind' me! I was talkin' to my 'usband!

Stan: Well, go and talk to 'im somewhere else! I can't 'ear a bloody thing!

Mr. Big Nose: Don't you swear at my wife!

Stan: I was only askin' 'er to shut up, so we can 'ear what he's sayin', 'Big Nose'.

Mrs. Big Nose: Don't you call my 'usband 'Big Nose'!

Stan: Well, he 'as got a big nose!

Man #1: [trying to hear Jesus] Would you be quiet, please. What was that?

Stan: I don't know; I was too busy talkin' to 'Big Nose'.

Man #2: I think it was: 'Blessed are the cheese-makers'!

Wife: What's so special about the cheese-makers?

Husband: Well, obviously, it's not meant to be taken literally - it refers to any manufacturer of... dairy products.

Stan: See? If you 'adn't been goin' on, we'd 'ave 'eard that, 'Big Nose'!

Mr. Big Nose: Say that once more - I'll smash your bloody face in!

Stan: Better keep listening; might be a bit about 'Blessed are the Big Noses'.

Brian: Lay off him!

Stan: Oh, you're not so bad yourself, conk-face... Where are you two from? 'Nose City'?

Mr. Big Nose: One more time, mate! I'll take you to the fuckin' cleaners!

Mrs. Big Nose: Language! And don't pick your nose!

Mr. Big Nose: I'll get you for this, you bastard.

Parvus: Oh, yeah?

Mr. Big Nose: Oh, yeah. Don't worry. I never forget a face.

Parvus: No?

Mr. Big Nose: I warned you. I'm going to punch you so hard, you Roman git!

Parvus: Shut up, you Jewish turd!

Mr. Big Nose: Who are you calling Jewish? I'm not Jewish! I'm a Samaritan!

Gregory: A Samaritan? This is supposed to be a Jewish section.

Stan: Listen I'm only telling the truth. You have got a very big nose.

Mr. Big Nose: Hey. Your nose is going to be three foot wide accross your face by the time I'm finished with you!