Mr. Cheeky Quotes in Life of Brian (1979)

Nisus Wettus: [a line of prisoners files past a jailer]

Nisus Wettus: Crucifixion?

Prisoner: Yes.

Nisus Wettus: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

[Next prisoner]

Nisus Wettus: Crucifixion?

Mr. Cheeky: Er, no, freedom actually.

Nisus Wettus: What?

Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.

Nisus Wettus: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.

Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.

Nisus Wettus: [laughing] Oh yes, very good. Well...

Mr. Cheeky: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.

Centurion: Where is Brian of Nazareth?

Brian: You sanctimonious bastards!

Centurion: I have an order for his release!

Brian: You stupid bastards!

Mr. Cheeky: Uh, I'm Brian of Nazareth.

Brian: What?

Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, I - I - I'm Brian of Nazareth.

Centurion: Take him down!

Brian: I'm Brian of Nazareth!

Victim #1: Eh, I'm Brian!

Mr. Big Nose: I'm Brian!

Victim #2: Look, I'm Brian!

Brian: I'm Brian!

Victims: I'm Brian!

Gregory: I'm Brian, and so's my wife!

Victims: I'm Brian! I'm Brian!...

Brian: I'm Brian of Nazareth!

Centurion: All right. Take him away and release him.

Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm only joking. I'm not really Brian. No, I'm not Brian. I was only - It was a joke. I'm only pulling your leg! It's a joke! I'm not him! I'm just having you on! Put me back! Bloody Romans! Can't take a joke!