Ex-Leper Quotes in Life of Brian (1979)

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Ex-Leper Quotes:

  • Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?

    Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?

    Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.

    Brian: Well, what happened?

    Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.

    Brian: Cured?

    Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!

    Brian: Who cured you?

    Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

  • Ex-Leper: Half a dinare for me bloody life story?

    Brian: There's no pleasing some people.

    Ex-Leper: That's just what Jesus said, sir.

  • Leper 1: Alms for a leper!

    Leper 2: Alms for a leper!

    Ex-Leper: Alms for an ex-leper!

  • Brian: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?

    Ex-Leper: Uh, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that I suppose. What I was thinking was I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the ass to be blunt and excuse my French, sir.

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