Hesher Quotes in Hesher (2010)

Hesher: I pulled this gas tank from an old Chevy. I wanted to blow it up, so I did. What I didn't think about was all the little bits of metal that were going to fly out in every direction. I almost killed myself. I woke up in this hospital and this doctor was like, "Son..." and I said "Don't call me son, you fucking cunt." And he was like, "You blew off your nut." pause I just lost my nut, like that. I went fucking crazy. I assaulted a nurse or a doctor, I don't really remember. I got arrested. I went to juvee. All I could think about was my fucking nut, man. I'm missing a nut. What am I going to do? I had to go looking for it, right? So I busted out of juvee and I went searching. I couldn't find my nut. pause Well, there was this one night I was sitting there and I was taking a shit and I was looking at my balls and I was staring at this little piece of flabby sack where my left nut used to be. And then I saw my right nut for the first time. I was like FUCK MAN, MY NUT! Look I have one, I still have a nut. Right? It's a good nut, it works. God or the fucking devil or whoever the fuck it is you know he left me with one good nut. I still have a fucking nut and it works. And my fucking dick works too. pause Okay, you lost your wife. And you lost your mom. I lost my nut.

Hesher: Where's the laundry room?

T.J.: My dad's gonna be home soon

Hesher: Where's the laundry room?

T.J.: Why?

Hesher: Have you ever been skull-fucked?

T.J.: No

Hesher: Would you like to be?

Hesher: Dude if you wanna poke her, there's nothing wrong with that. Don't be ashamed. Human beings have been poking vagina for hundreds of years. Longer probably. Bro! Seriously there's nothing wrong with wantin' some pussy!

T.J.: Just leave me alone.

Hesher: Alright I'll go but um, on one condition.

[Hesher Farts, Then Leaves]

Hesher: You lost your wife. And you lost your mom. I lost my nut.

Hesher: You gonna try and fuck her?

T.J.: No.

Hesher: Well that's good? Cus' can't fuck her from here dude. Gotta be way closer.

Hesher: Do you think she shaves her pussy?