Michael Rodgers Quotes in In the Loop (2009)

Jamie MacDonald: See that fax?

Michael Rodgers: Yes.

Jamie MacDonald: That is your career. And I think it might be fucked, but let's just check. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty fucked. Now, I hope you can play the spoons, because you're too old to go back to being a gentleman's fluffer.

Jamie MacDonald: Ah, right, Frank and Nancy Sinatra. I've got good news for you. You're NOT fired. That's great news, isn't it?

Michael Rodgers: Well, it sounds ominous.

Jamie MacDonald: We want to get Liza Weld's PWIP PIP out there properly, in the public domain. We just need to refine it a bit.

Michael Rodgers: What do you want to refine?

Jamie MacDonald: Just mess it up. Move the paragraphs. Change the name of the main informant.

Michael Rodgers: Well, that's a complete fabrication.

Jamie MacDonald: Changing his name doesn't matter. Do you think he's really called Ice Man? Huh? "To Mr and Mrs Man, a son... Ice." So, change it to another name. What's the name of the fuck with the fiddle?

Michael Rodgers: This happens to be Debussy.

Suzy: Debussy.

Jamie MacDonald: Well, we'll change it to Debussy, then.

Michael Rodgers: No, we will not!

Jamie MacDonald: Now, your prints are gonna be all over this, Michael, but that's the only way you can save your job, you leaky fuck.

Michael Rodgers: Don't make me do this.

Suzy: It wasn't him.

Michael Rodgers: Somebody must have come in there and used the fax machine. It could have been anyone.

Jamie MacDonald: Fax machine? Ah, no! Don't worry about that. No, I made that up. No, the document was leaked by e-mail. It's just, the fax machine was there, and it's easier to kick. Come on, Thick White Duke! Come with me.

Michael Rodgers: 'PWIP-PIP'? Who wrote that, Charles Dickens?

Malcolm Tucker: All right now, my lovely friends, the bottom line is...

Michael Rodgers: Oh, God, I hate that phrase. "Bottom line." I mean, we're not in retailing.

Malcolm Tucker: Sorry. Michael's quite right. I won't use that again. The bottom line is the President is going to the UN. This will be the vote to commence military intervention. And the Prime Minister has decided that we should join him. Rob, Innis, Little Bo Cock Jockey and the Leakey Fucking Mingebox, go back to your desks and prepare to start briefing now.

Simon Foster: Michael, do you mind if we use your office?

Michael Rodgers: What?

Simon Foster: For a couple of minutes?

Malcolm Tucker: Yeah. Michael, sorry. Bottom line is, can you come out again?

Michael Rodgers: No, no, no, you needn't worry about the Canadians, they're just happy to be there.

[pause]

Michael Rodgers: Yes, well, they always look surprised when they're invited.

Malcolm Tucker: Right, OK. Is it up, have you got it up?

Jamie MacDonald: Yeah, it's all fine.

Malcolm Tucker: Ok, cut the top paragraph and paste it into page five.

Jamie MacDonald: Right, yeah, we've done it.

Malcolm Tucker: Page six, get rid of the footnotes.

Jamie MacDonald: Done.

Malcolm Tucker: Go to, uh, page nine.

Jamie MacDonald: Go to page nine.

Malcolm Tucker: Highlight from that page right thru the end of the document.

Jamie MacDonald: Go on... do it.

Michael Rodgers: The caveats.

Malcolm Tucker: Right, OK, delete.

Jamie MacDonald: Right, Ok, we're doin' it. Delete it.

Michael Rodgers: You, you can't delete the arguments against the war.

Jamie MacDonald: Oh, there's a little shake of the head here, Malc. I think he's crashed.

Malcolm Tucker: Just give him a thump. That usually works.

Jamie MacDonald: Let me just try a wee bit of manual override. Let's see if it is possible to delete the arguments against the war. Hey, you could delete it after all. It's done.

Malcolm Tucker: Great, right, now attach that to an e-mail.

Jamie MacDonald: Yes, got it, got it.

Toby Wright: Suzy, this is probably going to sound a bit odd under the circumstances, but...

Suzy: A quickie?

Toby Wright: No. Thank you, but no. It's about Liza. Liza wrote a paper, it's called PWIP PIP.

Michael Rodgers: PWIP what?

Toby Wright: PWIP PIP.

Michael Rodgers: Who wrote that? Charles Dickens?

Toby Wright: Post War Planning Implications...

Suzy: Yeah, all right.

Toby Wright: Right. I think, it could, if it was leaked, stop this kind of rush towards a war, you know, too quickly, that sort of thing. Just if it was leaked.

Suzy: You are such a coward. Take your backlog of Mojo and your shit clothes and your eighth of dope and your flute and piss off.