Harriet Michaels Quotes in So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

Charlie Mackenzie: I'm afraid you're gonna ki - leave me.

Harriet Michaels: That I'm gonna cleave you?

Harriet Michaels: Do you actually like haggis?

Charlie Mackenzie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

Harriet Michaels: What do you look for in a woman you date?

Charlie Mackenzie: Well, I know everyone always says sense of humor, but I'd really have to go with breast size.

Charlie Mackenzie: How many people have you brutally murdered?

Harriet Michaels: Well, brutal's a very subjective word. I mean, what's brutal to one person might be totally reasonable to somebody else.

Charlie Mackenzie: Maybe it is late. You know, I'll be honest with you, I had a really great time tonight and, uh, I'd really love to kiss you but I think that if I kiss you we'll end up kissing on the couch and if we end up kissing on the couch then chances are we'll kiss in the bedroom and if we kiss in the bedroom then, you know, tha-that's the part I always rush into and I just don't think it's a good idea to rush into spending the night together.

Harriet Michaels: I wanna spend the night together.

Charlie Mackenzie: I have no problem with that!

Harriet Michaels: So bright women intimidate you?

Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. But it's a shame I'm going to have to destroy you.

Harriet Michaels: I have a surprise for you.

Charlie Mackenzie: What is it?

Harriet Michaels: It's a health shake. And I made it especially for you. Try it.

Charlie Mackenzie: Thank you, no. Thanks. Thanks.

Charlie Mackenzie: Tell me one bad thing that you've done, and it better be evil.

Harriet Michaels: How evil?

Charlie Mackenzie: Really evil. Like so evil, that you would say it was E-VEEL, like it's the FRU-ETS of the DEV-EEL. E-VEEL.

Harriet Michaels: I could do anything to you in your sleep.

Charlie Mackenzie: What could you do?

Harriet Michaels: You know, anything. You're lying on your side, totally asleep, I could just... Oh... stick a needle in your...

[Charlie screams]

Harriet Michaels: Charlie, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.