Gwen Quotes in Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

[Lewis, the Guard buys a cup of coffee, just before he is introduced to the T-1000]

Lewis, the Guard: Hey Gwen, you want some coffee?

Gwen: No thanks. How 'bout a beer?

Lewis, the Guard: Yeah, right.

[examines his cup]

Lewis, the Guard: Hey, I got a full house!

Gwen: That's good Lewis.

Lewis, the Guard: Must be my lucky day...

[the T-1000 impales his head]

John Smith: You a vegan?

Gwen: No. My girlfriend is.

Principal Powers: What a waste. I can't do anything more to help you. I'm not Wonder Woman, you know.

[walks out of the detention room, leaving Gwen/Royal Pain and the others locked inside]

Gwen: I went through puberty twice - for *this*?

Gwen: I'm a technopath. I can control technology with my mind.

Will Stronghold: Wow. All I can do is... punch stuff.

Mr. Medulla: [passing them] Yet he'll be the one on cereal boxes. Show me the justice in that.

Gwen: When the pacifier exploded, I wasn't destroyed. I was merely turned into a baby. Stitches took me in and raised me as his daughter.

Stitches: Daddy's little girl! HAHAHAHA!

Gwen: Told you never to CALL ME THAT! Lunatic.

Will Stronghold: [bumps into Gwen] Oh! Uh - I'm...

Gwen: Will Stronghold!

Will Stronghold: Aha, Mind Reader!

Gwen: No, name tag.

Gwen: Well you've got new friends now. And I think that you need to figure out whether you hang out with us - or with those losers. Come on, let's go.

Will Stronghold: No, forget it! I'm not going anywhere with you. Not now, and not to homecoming. Might as well just find yourself a new date, Gwen.

Gwen: You're dumping me? Whoa whoa, let's just get something straight, ok? *You* do not dump *me*! Not the night before the dance!

Will Stronghold: Sorry Gwen, I, ah, just *did*! You're dumped!

[Will lifts a lunch table with Warren Peace on top over his head]

Layla: He's strong!

Will Stronghold: [surprised] I'm strong?

Gwen: He's super strong!

Gwen: And now, so many years later, that plan is complete. My only regret: This may be the finest super-villian speech ever given - and you don't even know what I'm saying!

Gwen: Royal Pain is ME!

Eric: And Guinevere the fearless, who's plus-three ass of perfection should keep the memory of she who should not be mentioned at bay.

Gwen: Plus-three? Clearly you underestimate my endowments.

Gwen: Mummy, Daddy! Look! It's the bike! Santa brought me the bike I wanted!

Gwen: [Gwen's letter to Santa] Dear Santa! Are you real? If you live at the North pole, how come I can't see your house when I look on Google Earth? Are you Saint Nicholas? Because you would be very old! How do you have time to read all the letters from all the children in the world? How many cookies and mince pies have you eaten in all of history? How do you get all the presents in the sack? Does your sack have to get bigger every year because of Exponential Population Growth? And, How do you get down the chimneys? I put my head in mine and it is really small! Even if you could just squeeze down it in just one minute, there are also nine other houses on my block so that would make it about ten minutes and there are millions of roads in the world! It must be so hard being Santa these days. What if after all that, I am staying at my Grandma's? Santa! How can you get round the whole world in just one night? My friends say that you would have to go so fast that it would make you and the sleigh and the reindeers all burn up! For Christmas, I would LOVE a Pink Twinkle Bike complete with stabilizers. But please do not bring it if it makes you and the reindeers burn. Love Gwen Hines, 23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew, Cornwall, England.

Arthur: [Arthur hangs up the Picture Gwen drew of Santa and replies] Dear Gwen. Thank you for your Letter and What a Brilliant Picture! Your request for a Pink Twinkle Bike will be passed onto Santa. Yes! Do believe in Santa. He is real! He is the greatest man ever! And he can get around the world to every child without a single reindeer getting roasted ali... hurt. I assure you, by the time the sun rises on Christmas Morning, he will surely get to you using his special magic.

[the Glitter pen that Arthur used to write 'Magic' dissolves into a starry night and the main opening credits roll]

Gwen: [as the LGSM coalition arrives in Wales] Dai? Your gays have arrived.

Gwen: How is it that you recall the most trivial events?

Brodie: I'll never forget it. How many times do you get to see Smokey fuck the Bandit?

Gwen: Didn't I look just like Burt Reynolds?

Brodie, T.S. Quint: Except for the moustache.

Jay: You're fucking kidding me! The Easter bunny did this?

Brodie: All I said was that the Easter bunny at the Menlo Park mall was more convincing and he just jumped the railing and knocked me down.

Jay: He's fucking dead!

Brodie: Oh let it go, he's under a lot of pressure.

[T.S. and Gwen approach them]

T.S. Quint: What the hell happened?

Jay: The guy in the Easter bunny suit kicked his ass.

Brodie: I had it coming.

Jay: [to Silent Bob] Fuck all that shit! Come on, Silent Bob.

[Jay and Silent Bob leave]

T.S. Quint: What really happened?

Brodie: The proprietor of Fashionable Male beat a raincheck into my stomach.

Gwen: Shannon Hamilton?

T.S. Quint: You know that guy?

Gwen: I went out with him once after we dated. He tried to screw me some place very uncomfortable.

T.S. Quint: What? Like the back of a Volkswagen?

Brodie: Sounds like his M.O.

Gwen: Tell me about the elevator.

Brodie: It goes up-and-down. Ba-dump-tsss.

T.S. Quint: We slept together one time, do you remember, that ski trip?

Gwen: That was you?

Gwen: Why are you glowing?

Brodie: I'm *not* glowing!

Brodie: You know how when someone lays with their back to you, and you lay behind them really close and you throw one arm over them?

T.S. Quint: It's called spooning.

Brodie: Yeah, but you gotta put the other arm somewhere. You can either lay on it or shove it between your bodies. The only other option is to stretch it above your head. But sometimes my arm pops out of socket when I'm sleeping like that. So I was constantly searching for someplace to keep my arm while still laying close to her.

Gwen: And?

Brodie: What do you mean, 'and'? That's like a metaphor for our whole relationship. I'm all out. I'll meet you at the food court.

Saleslady at Lingerie Store: [crying] I know exactly how he feels. Excuse me.

Gwen: I admire you for your feelings, and hope to adopt them as my own.

Van Wilder: Sometimes you gotta let your heart lead you... even if you know its someplace you know you're not suppossed to be.

Gwen: And how many times has your heart led you into the women's locker room?

Van Wilder: This would be a first.

Gwen: Why do I find that hard to believe?

Van Wilder: I'm not saying this is the first time I've been in here, just usually it is another part of my anatomy that does the leading.

Van Wilder: It's a date.

Gwen: It's an interview, not a date.

Van Wilder: Gwen, first dates are interviews.

Gwen: [Mouths] What are you doing here?

Van Wilder: [Mouths] I don't know!

Richard: Oh, Gwen! Your labia feels so good around my swollen phallus! Oh! Oh! Oh, I'm fairly confident I'm going to ejaculate. I'm releasing some of my seminal fluids inside of you now!

[grunts and giggles]

Gwen: Are you okay?

Richard: Yeah. Why? Well, didn't you?

Gwen: Well, it's kind of hard in 15 seconds.

Richard: Damn it, Gwen! You know the kind of pressure I'm under with my exams.

Gwen: I'm sorry.

Richard: Look, I'm sorry. This semester's marks could determine in the next 10 years of our lives together. Do you realize that?

Gwen: You know... you shouldn't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive.

Richard: [laughs] What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm late for my study group.

Van Wilder: Well just take a look at this... ya... doodles... I attended class today just about stayed the whole time too!

Gwen: I'm glad you went to all your classes today.

Van Wilder: And a few that weren't mine, I stepped in the wrong room, liked what I heard... stayed.

Gwen: That's great!

Sally: [straddling Van and kissing him, turns around and sees Gwen walk into Van's room] You must be Gwen, the truck driver

Van Wilder: Gwen?

[chases her outside]

Gwen: What were you doing up there?

Van Wilder: As smashed as I am, I'm pretty sure that was my room...

Van Wilder: [looking back]

Van Wilder: Wasn't it?

Gwen: What was that girl, a freshman?

Van Wilder: She reads at a sophomore level.

Gwen: Is it true this is your seventh year at Coolidge?

Van Wilder: Carry the two, yes that's correct.

Gwen: Is Van here?

Hutch: He don't want to see you.

Gwen: Excuse me?

Hutch: Look. Why don't you just leave him alone?

Sick Boy: Home-wrecker.

Van Wilder: [speaking about Gwen's boyfriend Richard] I'll bet he's a tighty whitey guy.

Gwen: Excuse me?

Van Wilder: White, elastic band, constricting. You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of drawers they wear. Like you - granny panties I bet.

Gwen: Does that allude to me being the plain, boring type?

Van Wilder: Mmmm, no.

Van Wilder: [sighs]

Van Wilder: I just wanted the visual.

Van Wilder: Take your clothes off.

Gwen: I'm not taking off my clothes.

Van Wilder: Well it is the naked mile run, everybody else is in their birthday suit.

[a hairy naked guy runs by]

Van Wilder: Except that guy.

Van Wilder: Blue - it brings out your eyes. The kid has killer eyes, not unlike yourself - anyone ever tell you that?

Gwen: Yes, my boyfriend.

Van Wilder: Your boyfriend? What's his name?

Gwen: I don't think that's any of your business.

Van Wilder: [Puts on sunglasses and turns away] You're right

Gwen: I'm doing a human interest piece... on you.

Van Wilder: I'm flattered, I'd love for your piece to be on me.

[looks up at the ceiling and sighs]

Van Wilder: ... But sadly I don't do interviews, never have, never will. Do lunch though.

Gwen: Well I think it takes a lot more then the kind of underwear one wears to define them as a person.

[Van looks shocked]

Van Wilder: Like what?

Gwen: Relax, guys. They're just Doritos.

Kiki: You know what this is? This is high school all over again. Nothing has changed. You wanted to break up with one of your boyfriends in high school, did you do it? No! You made me do it.

Gwen: I did not!

Kiki: Oh, please! Let's just refresh your memory. Robert Mancuta?

Gwen: Eww!

Kiki: Kyle Hassler?

Gwen: Oh, God...

Kiki: Toby Franks? Half the lacrosse team? Ring a bell? Huh? By the end of the year, I was the most hated girl in school.

Gwen: That's not true.

Kiki: My quote in the yearbook was, "Hey, we have to talk." I was despised.

Leaf Weidmann: Can I defend my father's work?

Gwen: No, you cannot. Who's her father?

Lee: Hal.

Gwen: No, you cannot!

Leaf Weidmann: Well, at least let me defend Hector. I only slept with him once, but I know his penis is bigger than a roll of quarters.

[crowd gasps]

Gwen: [to Hector] You slept with her?

Hector: No! I did not...

Gwen: You slept with her!

Hector: No! No, she is lying!

[grabs the microphone]

Hector: Except for the part about my penis. That's true. It's bigger than coins.

Lee: You look fabulous.

Kiki: Thank you.

Lee: Look at you. What did you do? Is it your hair? What is it?

Kiki: It's my hair, and, err... I had a little sun.

Gwen: [bored] She lost sixty pounds.

Kiki: [pause] And... And... And I lost a little weight.

Lee: I see that. Yeah. You look terrific.

Kiki: Thank you.

Lee: Sixty pounds?

Kiki: Yeah.

Lee: That's a Backstreet Boy!

Lee: Eddie is not demented. It was a one-time incident. This is a forgive-and-forget kind of thing.

Gwen: He tried to kill me, Lee. Am I the only person who remembers that? Attempted murder doesn't get people's attention anymore?

Gwen: [caught on Hal's hidden camera]

[about Hector]

Gwen: I tell you, he's hot. Handsome. He can go for hours. I just wish he had a bigger, you know... thingy. It's like a roll of quarters.

[holds out her lipstick]

Gwen: It's like this.

[twists lipstick down]

Gwen: Well... maybe like this.

Gwen: You love me.

Eddie: Yes, I do. I do love you. I love that beautiful, bright, sexy woman up on the screen...

Gwen: [to the crowd] See? He loves me.

Eddie: Yeah, the girl I used to make movies with. But that's not the real you. That's you pretending to be real, which you're really good at. So when I'm with you in real life, I think I'm going to be with the real you, but I'm not. I'm with the real you that's with me right now, not the real you from the movies, and I don't want to be with... *you*.

Gwen: Kiki? What was that movie called?

Kiki: I don't give a shit!

Eddie: No, that wasn't it.

Kiki: [Eddie has just told Gwen he's "not technically" seeing anyone] Well, that's fascinating. "Not technically"... hmm. That's, uh, that's sad, really. That's, uh... that's a shame.

[Kiki slams her frying pan on the table in front of Gwen]

Kiki: Here are your eggs, my darling sister, I hope that's runny enough for you. And you, you son of a bitch!

[Kiki dumps the eggs in Eddie's lap]

Kiki: Here are your eggs! There you go!

Gwen: What the hell is wrong with you, Kiki?

Kiki: A lot, actually, and you know, I cannot believe that it's taken me this long to figure it out! And... and... and I'm going to go for a long walk now, just to simmer down. But before I do, I would just like to cut through the bullshit. You see, sister, the reason why he's not *technically* seeing anyone is because he's still *technically* hung up on you.

[turns to Eddie]

Kiki: And you, you... moron! The only reason she's here, besides trying to salvage her precious career, is to serve you with divorce papers. There, I've said it! I've done all I can do here. I'm going for a walk because that's, you know... leaving is just something that I've really perfected over the years. And so, once more, with feeling!

[Kiki storms out]

Gwen: She was so much more fun when she was fat.

Gwen: Your pillow's better than mine.

Gwen: I smell smoke. Is somebody smoking?

Kiki: I don't know.

Gwen: It's probably Larry. How many heart attacks has he had?

Kiki: You really need to go to this junket.

Gwen: [shakes her head] No.

Kiki: Why not?

Gwen: I'm afraid.

Kiki: Of...?

Gwen: That I'll see Eddie and he'll be this destroyed, pathetic mess and I'll feel guilty. And I'm tired of feeling guilty, Kiki, I really am.

Kiki: I know.

Gwen: I'm always thinking about other people.

Kiki: I know you are.

Gwen: It's awful when you're the only person who cares about other people's feelings. If they see Eddie and he's down and depressed, they're going to pity him and blame me.

Kiki: So, what you're really worried about is you.

Gwen: Of course.

Gwen: Are you seeing anybody?

[pause]

Gwen: Are you seeing anybody?

Eddie: Let me think about how I answer that? Um, not... you know...

[whispers]

Eddie: ... Not technically, no.

Kiki: [eavesdropping] What?

Gwen: He said "not technically".

Hector: [Eddie is standing on the roof] Is that Pussy Boy?

Gwen: Oh, my God! He's gonna jump!

Lee: He's not gonna jump.

Gwen: I said I was going to give him the divorce papers.

Lee: Shit, he's gonna jump!

Lee: So, do you want to arrive first or second?

Eddie: Second.

Lee: Be right back.

[goes to Gwen's limo]

Lee: He wants to go second.

Kiki: Let him go second.

Gwen: He can go second. No, wait a minute. He should go first. I don't want to look like his opening act. I want to go second.

Kiki: She wants to go second.

Lee: Second it is.

[goes back to Eddie's limo]

Lee: She wants to go second.

Eddie: Fine, let her come second. I don't care. Let her come behind me. That way she'll be able to see the knife she stuck in my back.

Lee: Thank you.

[back at Gwen's limo]

Lee: Second? We're all set.

Gwen: Who cares?

Kiki: She doesn't care.

Gwen: Yes, I do! I'm going first!

Eddie: [back at Eddie's limo] I don't care! I don't care! Why is this an issue?

Lee: I'm just trying to facilitate the...

Eddie: I don't care! Can we just get to the hotel?

Lee: You're going second.

Eddie: [rolling up the window] I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! I don't care!

Lee: You're going second. Eddie? You're going second.

Eddie: [rolls down the window] I don't care.

Lee: Okay. Thank you.

Hector: Who is this?

Lee: Hi, Hector, I'm Lee Phillips, press agent for "Time Over Time." Just in case you thought I was some guy coming to sweep her off her feet.

Hector: No, no. You're too old.

Gwen: Oh! Hector, honey, be good. I'm sorry, Lee, he's Spanish.

Lee: No problem. I was Spanish once myself.

Gwen: [to her assistant] People have no idea what it's like being me. Did we brush my teeth?

Gwen: [part of Eddie's revenge fantasy] Oh, Eddie, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I know you'll never forgive me, but please, please take me back. Oh... that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Eddie: Actually, it's a gun.

[shoots her multiple times]

Gwen: [to the press] I'm on pain medication that makes me say things I'd never say otherwise. To set the record perfectly straight, Eddie and I never had any plans to reconcile.

Hector: [Hector clears his throat] And?

Gwen: Oh, and Hector is very well-endowed.

Hector: Almost too well-endowed. I've had complaints. Literally.

Gwen: Eddie's really good... and he's my pillar of strength, you know. It's like Sodom and Gomorrah

Lee: Gwen, your dog just swallowed your window washer.

Gwen: Puppy!

Lee: Puppy? It's a raptor.

Kiki: Time for Prozac. Excuse me.

Lee: She's on Prozac?

Kiki: If only. The dog.

Gwen: [about Larry King] And those glasses. Who wears frames that big anymore. He looks like a bug!

Kiki: I bet you've never read a book in your life.

Gwen: Ha! I read *all four* of the Harry Potter books!

Gwen: Everyone hates me, everyone wants a piece of me. My therapist is out of the country, I wasn't nominated for a Golden Globe this year! Leave me alone!

Gwen: [about Eddie] He was outside my cottage doing something... not good!

Lee: Gwen, everybody does it.

Gwen: I know everyone does it! That's not the point!

Kiki: Nobody hates you.

Gwen: Oh yes, they do. I was in a store the other day, you know that great store on Melrose? And there was a baby in a stroller and he was looking up at me and he was judging me. The whole world is judging me for what I did to Eddie.

Gwen: Just smile and shut up.

Gwen: Is that your foot?

Kiki: Sorry.

Gwen: Pedicure! Hello?

Eddie: [as Doctor Martin] Read from the top line Sasha.

Gwen: [as Sasha] I-L-O-V-E-Y-O... Oh.

Eddie: [as Doctor Martin] You.

Gwen: [as Sasha] Doctor Martin.

Larry King: Okay, let's go to phone calls now on "Larry King Live". White Plains, you're on the air with Gwen Harrison.

Caller #1: Hi, Larry.

Gwen: Hi!

Caller #1: Gwen, um... hi. I used to be a big fan, but... I'm sorry, I just can't get over what happened between you and Eddie. I'm so sick over it. I can't sleep at night. How can you?

Gwen: Well, um... uh...

Larry King: Well, you do sleep next to a very handsome young Spanish gentleman, do you not?

[pause]

Larry King: Let's go to our next call. Rock Island, Illinois, hello.

Caller #2: Hi, Larry. Gwen, I saw your latest movie.

Gwen: Thank you!

Caller #2: I just couldn't sit through it. I can't watch you without Eddie. It's just not the same.

Gwen: It's just not fair. There's all this pressure on me, and none whatsoever on Eddie, is there? He's probably all Summer having the time of his life.

Eddie: Is Kiki here?

Gwen: I doubt it.

[calls]

Gwen: Kiki! Kiki! I don't know where that girl is.

Gwen: I hate Larry King! Why did I do his stupid show?

Kiki: Just breathe.

Gwen: I don't want to breathe! "Your last two movies crashed and burned"... I wanted to choke him to death with those stupid suspenders. Everyone hates me.

Kiki: That's not true. The lighting was great. Everyone said you looked great.

Gwen: Who?

Larry King Producer: [passes by] You looked great.

Kiki: See?

Gwen: [to the producer] Thanks!

[to Kiki]

Gwen: As if she really knows.

Gwen: [caught on Hal's hidden camera] I slept with him.

Kiki: [gasps] Hector? Are you in love with him?

Gwen: Come on! It's not always about love. Sometimes you just need to get laid.

Kiki: Look... I'm tired of making excuses. I'm done picking up dirty clothes. I'm done pretending that your life is my whole life. I'm just... I'm done.

Gwen: So what you're really worried about is you.

Kiki: [thinks for a second] Yes.

Gwen: Well, I... guess you're fired.

[Gwen darts a glance at the audience, then throws her arms around Kiki]

Gwen: Honey! You know all I care about is your happiness. You know that, right?

Kiki: Wow. Thank you, Gwen, that's very...

Gwen: [pulls away from Kiki and grabs the microphone] So don't worry about me, everybody. I'll be fine!

[audience applauds]

Eddie: You're unbelievable.

Gwen: Shut up!

Larry King: You, young lady, are nobody without Eddie! Nobody likes you! Never, never go anywhere without Eddie. You're nothing, you're nothing, you're nothing. You're nothing! Get her out of here, get her out now. You're nothing!

Gwen: [crying] I'm so sorry, Larry.

Ma Wright: It's a thin line between love and hate.

Nikki: Nigger, you full of shit!

Gwen: All your damn promises! Get out of my face!

Gwen: We just get the one life, you know. Just one. You can't live someone else's or think it's more important just because it's more dramatic. What happens matters. Maybe only to us, but it matters.

[last lines]

Gwen: It hurts when I smile...

Bertram Pincus: I can fix that for you.

Bertram Pincus: [pointing at the dog] When did you get your horse?

Gwen: A couple of months ago. I found him at this shelter in Long Island. They were gonna put him down.

Bertram Pincus: Then they lost their nerve, did they?

Bertram Pincus: [weakly] I love you!

Gwen: Don't call me!

[about the mummified remains of Pepe]

Bertram Pincus: They even put his penis in a big jar. I mean why... why would they do that?

Gwen: Well... you saw that penis; it wouldn't have fit in a little jar.

Bertram Pincus: [seeing Pepe's mummified penis in a jar] Woah! Well, I can see why he was King!

[Gwen laughs]

Bertram Pincus: No, really!

[Gwen laughs]

Bertram Pincus: Well, I can see he died happy...

Gwen: [laughs even harder] Okay, that's enough!

[closes jar]

Bertram Pincus: He must've had huge hands...

Gwen: No, no...

Gwen: You don't like crowds?

Bertram Pincus: It's not so much the crowd, as the individuals within the crowd.

Gwen: You don't like crowds?

Bertram Pincus: It's not so much the crowd as the individuals in the crowd I don't like.

Maxwell Kane: [chasing the ambulance after finding out Kevin has died] You're supposed to give him a new body! Stop, you idiots! He's supposed to get a biogenetic body!

[Gwen steps out of the ambulance as Maxwell begins to sob]

Maxwell Kane: He was tested, and measured! He told me he'd be the first!

Gwen: [trying to calm him down] I know, listen to me! Kevin knew he wasn't going to live very long. He knew it was a matter of time. You see? What happened was, his heart just got too big for his body.

[she hugs him as he continues to cry]

Gwen: It's okay, honey, it's okay. You go home.

Kevin: An Ornithopter is defined as an experimental device, propelled by flapping wings.

Gwen: That's a big word for a mechanical bird.

[shifting her voice]

Gwen: Congratulations, Mrs. Dillion. It was a tough delivery, but you've given birth to a healthy 7-pound dictionary.

[smiling]

Gwen: You must be very proud.

Gwen: You see, my son, Kevin, has been called names and made fun of his whole life. When you've been made fun of as much, you find another place to live, and he's found that place up here, in his mind. Kevin lives in a world of books, and words, and things I don't even understand. I do know this: Kevin would trade it all for a chance to be normal, to have a friend, and to do what other kids do. Max Kane has given that chance.

[voice cracks]

Gwen: Well, I'm not going to let that get taken away from my boy.

Newton Davis: Tell me why for God's sake did you come here?

Gwen: I just wanted to see what it would be like to live in that picture.

Gwen: I really didn't intend for it to get this elaborate, it's just that everyone around here keeps treating me like I'm somebody... except you.

Gwen: Oh, grow feathers and go shit in a tree.

Gwen: I don't want your money. I will take the furniture, though.

Gwen: I don't want your goddamn money.

Newton Davis: No, just my goddamn house.

[final lines]

Newton Davis: I love you, Gwen.

Gwen: Actually, it's Jessica.

Gwen: I think this marriage is worth saving.

Newton Davis: WHAT MARRIAGE?

Newton Davis: Where did all this furniture come from?

Gwen: Bigelows.

Gwen: Don't yell at me, we're only pretending to be married!

[as the boys leave for their date, Gwen decides Caleb can be had]

Marc: Goodbye, Gwen.

Caleb: Uh, bye, Gwen.

Gwen: Bye...

[the door closes]

Gwen: ...sexual.

Joey: You're not being very positive about this?

Gwen: I couldn't be any more positive if I was gang raped in a repository bin at the needle exchange.

[after yet another boy she's dating confesses he's gay]

Gwen: I feel like a turnstile to the White Party!

Marc: When he's around, my heart beats like a trailer park husband.

Gwen: That is so gay. And I mean all three definitions.

Marc: Almost made it with a British guy in a broom closet, but he wouldn't kiss.

Gwen: Maybe your breath was penis-y.

Gwen: Who needs friends who won't fuck friends?

Gwen: If you've never tricked with a chick, are you sure you pick dick?

Gwen: Put him on. Let me get the balls rolling.

Gwen: Joey! Just remember - every time you suck a dick, every time you poke some boy in the brown eye - just remember that you've eaten pussy! You ate pussy and you liked it!

Jamie Peterson: Love you, gay bro.

Frank Peterson: [to all] Come on, I said family hug. We're all family here.

Susan Petersoon: [to all] Well, come on.

Gwen: [caught up in the emotional moment] Oh, what the fuck!

Gwen: Let's give them some room to breath on each other.

Gwen: Why is this happening?

Kyle Grubbin: End of the world.

Gwen: I'll need years of therapy after this.

Coach Keel: Little lady, you'll get the machete.

Gwen: But I don't know how to shoot a machete.

Frank Costello: Have a seat, Bill.

[Costigan sits down at Costello's dinner table]

Frank Costello: [while eating crab] Do you know John Lennon?

Billy Costigan: Yeah, sure, he was the president before Lincoln.

Frank Costello: Lennon said, "I'm an artist. You give me a fucking tuba, I'll get you something out of it."

Billy Costigan: [sarcastically] Well I tell you Mr. Costello, I'd like to squeeze some fucking money out of it.

Frank Costello: Smart mouth. Too bad. If you'll indulge me...

[sees Gwen leaving]

Frank Costello: Now what?

Gwen: Choir practice.

Frank Costello: [annoyed] Choir practice.

[Costello pulls out a severed human hand]

Frank Costello: The point I'm making with John Lennon is - a man could look at anything, and make something out of it. For instance, I look at you and I think "what could I use you for?"

Frank Costello: [after talking on the phone with Colin] Sweetheart, you're giving me a hard-on.

Gwen: Are you sure it's me? Not all that talk about whiffing and crawling up asses?

Frank Costello: Watch your fuckin' mouth!

Gwen: No, you watch it. Let me straighten you out.

Gwen: Upstairs woman or downstairs woman?

[Jules stands up on bed and listens; then she puts her ear to floor and listens]

Jules: Both.

Jules: How long?

Gwen: I don't know. A while.

Jules: A while sounds too long.

Gwen: Long time no see, Miz Parker.

Frances: [disdainfully] I'm handlin' it.

Gwen: The screwing I'm getting is not worth the screwing I'm getting.

Gwen: OK, yes, I know, I'm nothing, I never was, but you! You could have been...

Eddie Anderson: What? What?!

Gwen: ...What you could have been. ...What happened to you, Eddie? Must kill you to think what you might have been.

Evan: You're the girl that was with those assholes throwing popcorn at Thumper... and your name is Gwen... I know you.

Gwen: Seriously Evan, lay off the blow.

Gwen: When it comes to sex, I say nothing is wrong.