Lloyd Quotes in Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

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Lloyd Quotes:

  • Lloyd: Gibbons?

    [seeing the front deak empty and turning towards the bathroom]

    Lloyd: Gibbons, c'mon man, you can't leave the desk like that!

    [opens the outer bathroom door]

    Lloyd: Gibbons!

    [opens the inner bathroom door, sees Gibbons tied to a urinal base and gagged]

    Lloyd: Oh, shit!

  • Lloyd: [the Terminator starts the motorcycle, Lloyd comes out the diner's door with a sawed-off 10-Gauge Winchester Lever-Action Shotgun] I can't let you take the man's wheels, son. Now get off before I put you down.

    Lloyd: [the Terminator gets off the motorcycle and walks towards Lloyd] That's it, Goddammit.

  • Bruce: [as Max is escaping] Turn around slowly.

    Maxwell Smart: [turns around to find Bruce and Lloyd coming around the corner with forced angry facial expressions and Bruce holding a gun] Guys, you have to believe me I am not a double agent.

    Lloyd: We never thought you were.

    Bruce: Yeah, we love you, man.

    Maxwell Smart: Then what's with the firearm and the freak-show expression?

    Bruce: For the security camera. If it looks like we let you go, we'd totally get fired.

    Maxwell Smart: [looks up at the camera then looks back] Got it.

    [Burce and Lloyd shuffle forward stiffly and regain fighting stances and angry expressions]

    Maxwell Smart: Where are the Chief and 99?

    Bruce: They flew to L.A. to talk to the President.

    Maxwell Smart: I need to get out of here before someone else comes to stop me.

    Bruce: I suggest you overpower us.

    Maxwell Smart: Good idea. Bruce I will smash you in the face.

    Bruce: [rather pleasantly] Thank you.

    Maxwell Smart: Lloyd, I will simulate your disembowelment.

    Lloyd: [whimpers slightly]

    Maxwell Smart: Ready? One...

    [Bruce flinches]

    Maxwell Smart: Not yet! I haven't punched you yet. React when I punch you.

    Bruce: [regains firearm] Oh, yeah.

    Maxwell Smart: One, two, three.

    [punches to the left but Bruce falls to his left]

    Maxwell Smart: Wrong way.

    Lloyd: OK, wait. You should know sometimes I faint.

    Maxwell Smart: I'm not actually going to hit you.

    Lloyd: No, but when I see blood, or talk about blood, or think about blood...

    Maxwell Smart: There will be no blood. Hang in there. Hang in, buddy.

    Lloyd: [faints]

  • Maxwell Smart: [when he hears he is promoted to Agent 86] The cone please...

    [he walks to a corner of the safe room and screams:]

    Maxwell Smart: Oooh, I am so happy. This is the best day of my life!

    Lloyd: You didn't push the button hard enough.

    Maxwell Smart: So you all heard me... right.

  • Larabee: Hey, new guy. Hold up a second. Welcome to CONTROL. We have a tradition called "Pick on the new guy." Here's how it works. We pick on the new guy.

    Agent 91: And you can't do anything about it.

    Larabee: Let's try one. You dropped your pencil.

    Agent 91: Did you hear the man!

    Hymie: I don't see a man, I see two little girls. I think I'll call you Maureen, and you Brittany.

    Agent 91: New guy did not.

    Larabee: New guy did.

    Agent 91: OK, new guy...

    Larabee: I got this. And I'm going to enjoy it.

    Hymie: That will make me happy, Maureen.

    Larabee: Ho ho ho. Maureen...

    [Larabee punches Hymie in the stomach- loud metallic sound is heard]

    Larabee: OW! What's in there? Oh. Oh.

    Hymie: And just for the record.

    Larabee: Oh. Oh. What's in there?

    [Hymie staples paper to Larabee's forehead. Larabee screams]

    Hymie: My name is not "new guy". My name is Hymie. Now, if you ladies will excuse me.

    [Hymie walks away]

    Bruce: [Bruce and Lloyd hiding off to the side] This is going to be so fun.

    Lloyd: Make him high five me.

    [Hymie high fives Lloyd]

  • [Max walks in to See CONTROL in shambles. Looks over and sees Bruce and Lloyd underneath a table]

    Maxwell Smart: Bruce! Lloyd! What happened here... and what is that ungodly smell?

    Lloyd: Fear.

  • Lloyd: Hey Max, we got you a lovely parting gift for your first mission.

    Maxwell Smart: Oh, pocket knife!

    Lloyd: Not just pocket knife. Swiss Army knife. It comes with tweezers, pliers, tiny magnifying glass...

    Bruce: Fish scaler, a saw, a flamethrower, chisel, a wire-crimping tool.

    Lloyd: We also added a crossbow that fires harpoons connected to 60 ft of spider silk nanothread. It has the strength of steel cable.

    Bruce: It's a time-consuming, labor-intensive technology.

    Lloyd: Spiders have to be individually milked.

    Bruce: And they do not like it.

    Lloyd: No, they don't.

    Maxwell Smart: Gentlemen, you're the best. Thanks!

  • Lloyd: Tapes are not going to be enough.

    Billie Jean: What do you mean?

    Lloyd: I mean they don't have to give you the money, they'll just hunt you down and catch you. Cops don't have to bargain with you, you don't have anything they want. Unless you offer them a trade.

    [starts tying himself up]

    Ophelia: Whatever is that boy doing?

    Putter: It's a trick, I saw it on TV.

    Billie Jean: What kind of trade?

    Lloyd: I'm going to be your hostage, then they have to reason with you. I'm your guarantee.

    Putter: Like when you buy a car.

    Ophelia: That's a warranty.

  • Putter: Is that a boy or a girl?

    Lloyd: Girl, Joan of Arc. She dressed up as a man and led the French in fighting the English. She heard voices, 'stop being a peasant', 'France needs you', 'the truth needs you'. And she won, she beat the English, but then...

    Putter: Then what?

    Lloyd: The French, burnt her, alive!

  • Binx: [about Lloyd's pills] What are those, uppers or downers?

    Lloyd: They're for asthma, you want one?

  • Ophelia: You're supposed to be taking your medication! Your father says please give him his pills!

    Lloyd: I haven't had a pill since we left the house, haven't wheezed once.

  • Ophelia: [Billie Jean steps out with her hair cut] Oh my God! Billie Jean, you look...

    Binx: Famous!

    Lloyd: Saint Joan.

  • Billie Jean: You ever been to Vermont?

    Lloyd: Sure, on ski trips.

    Billie Jean: Maybe we should go there tonight, all of us, hitchhike.

    Lloyd: You can't do that, not now, everybody knows you, they want to see you get the money.

    Billie Jean: They want to see us dead, remember Joan of Arc?

  • Billie Jean: Lloyd, do you make videos?

    Lloyd: All the time.

    Billie Jean: What about copies?

    Lloyd: I can make as many as you want... You are absolutely right!

    Ophelia: What's she talking about?

    Lloyd: She's gonna answer their call!

  • Billie Jean: Everything's just crazy now.

    Lloyd: Sure it is. That's why you gotta be crazier than they are.

  • Lloyd: I'm done being your hostage.

    Billie Jean: Fine, I'll see you in jail!

  • [first lines]

    Paul Hackett: [Paul and Lloyd in front of a computer terminal] Alright, punch. Punch it in.

    Lloyd: Right.

    Paul Hackett: Okay, let's, first of all, refresh the screen here. Alright, and go into "format ruler".

    [Lloyd punches at the keyboard]

    Paul Hackett: There.

    Lloyd: All right. Now, file?

    Paul Hackett: Right.

    Lloyd: Right?

    [presses a key]

    Lloyd: And it's in memory?

    Paul Hackett: Right. And?

    [Lloyd thinks]

    Paul Hackett: Mark this down in the prefix...

    Lloyd: Right.

    Paul Hackett: ...file codes.

    Lloyd: Prefix code. Right, right, right.

    [Lloyd punches in the code]

    Paul Hackett: Good. Yeah, you got it. Another week, you'll have it down.

  • Lloyd: We're just trying to provide you all with a balanced perspective, to see that there are options. In the end, it's up to you whether you choose to live a...

    Larry: Lie.

    Lloyd: Whether you want to be who you are or keep it hidden is really more what we're about.

    Megan: So you run like, the underground homo railroad.

  • Lloyd: But, someday I'll have a lot of... a lot of poems about pools.

  • [Harry is about to throw away Lloyd's chipped tooth]

    Lloyd: No! Wait - save it for the Tooth Fairy.

    Harry: I happen to know for a fact that my mother is the Tooth Fairy.

    Lloyd: No way! Your mom's the Tooth Fairy?

    Harry: Yeah, she flies around at night while I'm asleep.

    Lloyd: Well nice to meet you. I'm Lloyd Christmas.

    Harry: Well, I'll be. Here I am bragging about how my mom's the Tooth Fairy and you're dad's Santa Claus!

  • [Turk comes up behind Lloyd and grabs him in a Head-Lock. Lloyd introduces him to Harry]

    Lloyd: This is my Mohawk friend, Turk. He's part of the "Cool Crowd".

    [to Turk]

    Lloyd: Hey, Kimosabe!

    Turk: Shut up, Ass-Face.

    Lloyd: That's the Iroquois name he gave me for having the strong face of an ass.

  • Harry Dunne: [Harry is covered in mud and hit by Jessica's dad's car] Charlie!

    Jessica's Dad: Oh, my God... it's you... you're the guy that crapped up my house! What are you... you're covered in *shit*! My car's covered in *shit*!

    Harry Dunne: No, no, no, no... It's not that?

    [gets off the hood and starts to walk off]

    Jessica's Dad: There's crap all over my hood! You got feces all over my mercedes! It's in my grill! My car's covered in shit!

    Lloyd: Who's that?

    Harry Dunne: That's Jessica's Dad. She says he's really anal.

    Lloyd: [Winces, disgusted] Ew... ugh, that's gross.

    Jessica's Dad: [as they walk off, fading out] Get back here! I'm not cleaning this up! I'm gonna have to have this towed! Are you out of your mind? What is it with you and *fecal* matter?

    [Fade out]

  • Lloyd: Whoa! Look at Jessica, look at her milk bubbles, and her shorts are really short!

    Harry Dunne: I know...

    Lloyd: Yea, last time I wore shorts that short, I got beat up!

  • Gus: You know what, lady? I'd like to tie you to the back of a fucking truck.

    Rose: You don't have the balls.

    [Gus leaps up from his chair toward Rose and is intercepted by Lloyd]

    Lloyd: Don't do it! It's not worth it.

    Gus: I fucking hate her, Lloyd!

    Lloyd: I know, I know.

    Gus: What is the matter with you? I thought mothers were sweet and nice a-a-and Patient. I know loan sharks who are more forgiving than you. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding.

  • Lloyd: She's my mother.

    Gus: She's a fucking Bitch, Lloyd.

    Lloyd: You're not supposed to take sides.

    Caroline: No, no, no, thank you so much Gus. Finally somebody else sees.

    Gus: You'd have to be blind not to see.

  • Caroline: Did you know you're bleeding?

    Gus: Oh, yeah.

    Lloyd: Were you shot?

    Gus: Dog bit me

    Caroline: What dog?

    Gus: Willard's dog.

    Caroline: Cannibal bit you?

    Gus: His name is Cannibal?

  • Lloyd: You know, you and my wife have a lot in common. You both think you have some right to life working out the way you want it to, and when it doesn't, you get to act the way you want. The only trouble with that is someone has to be responsible. I'd love to run around and take classes and play with my inner-self! I'd love the freedom to be some pissed-off criminal with no responsibilities! Except I don't have the time! But you don't see me with a gun. And you don't see me sleeping with someone else. You think my life turned out the way I wanted because I live in this house? You think every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and say "Gee, I'm glad I'm me and not some 19-year-old billionaire rockstar with the body of an athlete and a 24-hour erection!" No I don't! So just excuse the shit out of me!

  • Lloyd: Mary, gag your grandma.

  • Lloyd: Mother.

    Rose: What?

    Lloyd: Is it possible for you to shut the fuck up for five minutes?

  • Caroline: I had this dream...

    Lloyd: Do we have to do dreams?

    Caroline: I'm in this restaurant, and the waiter brings me my entree. It was a salad. It was Lloyd's head on a plate of spinach with his penis sticking out of his ear. And I said, "I didn't order this." And the waiter said, "Oh you must try it, it's a delicacy. But don't eat the penis, it's just garnish."

    Dr. Wong: Lloyd, what do you think about the dream?

    Lloyd: I think she should stop telling it at dinner parties to all our friends.

  • Gus: Soooo... got any cigarettes?

    Lloyd: I don't smoke and Caroline just quit.

    Gus: Really? Just quit, huh?

    Caroline: [she nods her head yes]

    Gus: So... where are they?

    Caroline: What do you mean?

    Gus: Where aaare they, Caroliiiiine?

    Caroline: [sighs] They're behind the chessboard.

    Lloyd: What? You lied to me! You said you were finished!

    Caroline: I said I hadn't finished a cigarette. I take a couple drags, I don't inhale.

    Lloyd: Oh you are such a liar!

    Caroline: I am not, I said...

    Gus: [Gus is sick of the argument and pushes both of them over in thier chairs] Did you say that you would quit, Caroline? DID YOU SAY... that you would quit?

    Caroline: [shaking her head yes]

    Gus: YES! So that means that YOU are a liar, end of story.

    Lloyd: [chuckles thinking he's won, but Gus looks over and comes towards him]

    Gus: [putting the gun to his head] You saw the stop sign didn't you, Lloyd?

    [waving the gun back and forth]

    Gus: You... saw the... stop sign... DIDN'T YOU?

    Lloyd: Y-yes, I did.

    Gus: YES! So that means that you, too, are a liar! Capital "L", small "i", small "a", small "r", period. Now shut... the fuck... up!

  • Lloyd: [to the therapist referring to their son] In the ninth grade we said he could get a part time job. Are you ready for what he did? He started an escort service for the football team, and he gave out my mother's phone number!

    Caroline: And I still say getting laid by an 18-year-old linebacker is just what she needs!

  • Lloyd: So, do you think we should go untie everybody?

    Caroline: No. I think we should unwrap them in the morning. It'll be more festive.

  • Caroline: How can we both be in the marriage and I'm miserable and you're content?

    Lloyd: Luck?

  • Lloyd: Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear.

  • [Lloyd, after being interrupted by his family, is whalloping the Christmas tree with a fireplace poker]

    Lloyd: Excuse me! Excuse me! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!

    [stunned silence by all]

    Lloyd: If you don't mind, the "corpse" *STILL* has the floor!

  • Caroline: You're the one who suffocated him with limitations. Our son's a very sensative, creative...

    Lloyd: Juvenile delinquent.

    Caroline: ...boy. He has the kind of imagination...

    Lloyd: That the mafia gives scholarships for.

  • Lloyd: What's your name?

    Gus: Fuck you, that's my name.

  • Dr. Wong: Please let's lower our voices.

    CarolineLloyd: [shout] FUCK YOU!

  • Lloyd: I suppose you'll use this drama as a reason to have another affair. I feel sorry for the next delivery man that comes to this house!

  • Lloyd: Caroline? Why don't you eat something?

    Caroline: [Drunk] Loyd? Why don't you eat me?

    Connie Chasseur: Kids, go to into the den. This not a conversation for children.

    Rose Chasseur: It is not an apprioprate conversation for adults either.

    Gus: Where are you going?

    Rose Chasseur: To the living room. To leave you to your quilting. I be there to open presents. If my plans change I will contact you.

    Lloyd: Why don't we all go into the living room, we'll have our drink and deserts in there.

    Caroline: [to Loyd] Phoney Bastard!

    Gus: Caroline, shut up.

    Connie Chasseur: Let's all go to the den...

    Gus: Sit down Connie sit.

    Connie Chasseur: Excuse me, I am not one of you patients.

    Gus: You're going to be somebody's patient if you don't get your ass back down in that chair.

  • Rose: What difference does any of this make now? You're getting a divorce.

    Lloyd: Mother.

    Rose: What?

    Lloyd: Is it possible for you to shut the fuck up for ten seconds?

    Rose: Lloyd, don't talk to me like that in my own house.

    Lloyd: You know what, Mom? You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas? A big, wooden cross. So anytime you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.

  • Lloyd: [to Caroline] I told you what moving here could mean, but you were the one who said we should consider it! Not the actual moving, just the considering - the actual moving in part was left to me! Why? Because you didn't know what to do! You were confused. You didn't know if it was the right thing. But you were sure as hell sick and tired of living in a one-bedroom apartment in New York City, so don't hand me that "it was the best of times" bullshit! You didn't want to work anymore and you didn't want any help with the baby because you wanted to do it all by yourself! And you hated New York because we weren't as rich as your college friends were to enjoy it! We couldn't afford a bigger place, and you were miserable being around people who could! And we were up to our ears in debt! But moving here was MY decision! RIGHT! And the loan was the same situation!

  • Caroline: One bad review in one lousy magazine, you just give up!

    Lloyd: Now hold on, stop right there. If you recall, it wasn't one bad review in one lousy magazine, it was the Restaurant Guidebook of New York! And when the Restaurant Guidebook recommends you to "Hindus looking for a fun night out of fasting," what do you expect me to do, change the menu?

  • Lloyd: Coffee, Mom?

    Rose Chasseur: Is it real coffee? Or some Scandinavian Christmas potion?

  • Lloyd: Why don't you just give yourself up?

    Gus: What'd you say?

    Lloyd: Well, you're not going to kill an entire family. It's over. I mean, you're not the type. You're a thief, not a killer. That's obvious.

    Gus: I hate guys like you, you know, with your Jeep Grand Cherokee's and your Nicaraguan maids and your ping-zing golf clubs. Every goddamn thing in the world handed to you. I mean, what fuckin' purpose do you people serve?

    Lloyd: You're a criminal. What possible purpose could you serve?

    Gus: Fuck you, Lloyd! I work for a living, okay? I have a skill. I'm in the game pal. What do you do except take up fuckin' space?

    Lloyd: If you're so skilled, what are you doing stuck here?

    Gus: Let me tell you something. I could break into any house, anywhere, anytime. Take whatever I want. In and out in ten minutes. No prints, no evidence. Nothing. If what's-his-name hadn't installed that fuckin' road runner booby trap I'd be in Jamaica by now.

    Lloyd: Mmm, I'm impressed.

    Gus: Nah, you people don't get impressed do you? Huh? Life just bores the shit outta you people. Well, I'm sorry. We don't all have rich mommies and daddies we can live off of or open restaurants when we get bored playing tennis.

  • Lloyd: I'm starting to know what God felt like when he sat out there in the darkness, creating the world.

    Belinda: And what did he feel like, Lloyd my dear?

    Lloyd: Very pleased he'd taken his Valium.

  • Gary: Lloyd, let me just say one thing, since we've stopped. I've worked with a lotta directors, Lloyd. Some of them were geniuses, some of them were bastards. But I've never met one who was so totally and absolutely... I don't know.

    Lloyd: Thank you Gary, I'm very touched. Now will you get off the fucking stage?

  • Lloyd: [Barging in from the house] What the *fuck* is going on?

    Belinda: Lloyd!

    Frederick: Holy cow!

    Poppy: I didn't know you were here.

    Lloyd: I'm not. I'm in New York. But I can't sit out there and listen to two minutes, three minutes, one minute, two minutes!

    Belinda: Lloyd! We're having big dramas back here!

    Lloyd: We're having big dramas out *there!* This is a matinee, Love! There are senior citizens out there! "The curtain will rise in three minutes," we all start for the gents! "The curtain will rise in one minute," we all start running out again! We don't know which way we're going!

  • Lloyd: Tim, let me tell you about my life in the Big Apple. I have Hamlet's ghost on the phone for an hour every evening after rehearsal complaining that Polonius is sucking sourballs through his speeches. Claudius is off every afternoon doing a soap, and Gertrude is off the entire week doing a commercial for Gallo wine. Hamlet himself, would you believe, has come down with a psychological problem. Then, last night, Brooke rings me to say that she's very unhappy here and she's got herself a doctor's certificate for nervous exhaustion. I haven't got the time to find and rehearse a new Vicky. I have just one afternoon, while Hamlet sees his shrink and Ophelia starts divorce proceedings, to cure Brooke of her nervous exhaustion with no medical aids, except a little whiskey - you've got the whiskey - a few flowers - you've got money for the flowers - and a certain fading bedside manner. So, I haven't come to the theater to hear about other people's probelms. I've come to be taken out of myself, and, preferably, not put back again.

  • Dotty: And I take the sardines. No, I leave the sardines. No, I take the sardines.

    Lloyd: You leave the sardines and you hang up the phone.

    Dotty: Yes, right. I hang up the phone.

    Lloyd: And you leave the sardines.

    Dotty: I leave the sardines?

    Lloyd: You leave the sardines.

    Dotty: I hang up the phone and I leave the sardines?

    Lloyd: Right!

    Dotty: We've changed that, have we, dear?

    Lloyd: No, dear...

    Dotty: That's what I've always been doing?

    Lloyd: I wouldn't say that, Dotty my precious.

    Dotty: Well, how about the words, dear, am I getting some of them right?

    Lloyd: Some of them have a very familiar ring.

  • Dotty: Now I've lost the newspaper!

    [exits]

    Lloyd: Sardines!

    Gary: [to Brooke] I'm sorry about this.

    Brooke: [to Gary] That's all right. We don't want the television, do we?

    Lloyd: SARDINES!

    Dotty: [re-entering] I forgot the sardines.

  • Lloyd: And God said, "Where the Hell is Tim?" And there the Hell was Tim. And God said, "Let there be doors that open when they open, and close when they close."

    Tim: Do something?

    Lloyd: Doors!

    Tim: I was getting the bananas for the sardines.

    Lloyd: DOORS!

    Tim: Doors?

    Lloyd: I bet God had a stage manager who understood English, too!

  • Usher: Mr. Fellowes, uh, is there anything wrong with your seat?

    Lloyd: [thinking] Yeah, it's facing the stage!

  • Selsdon: So, what's next on the bill?

    Lloyd: Well, Selsdon, I thought we might try a spot of rehearsal.

    Selsdon: Oh, I won't, thank you.

    Lloyd: You won't?

    Selsdon: No, you all go ahead. I'll just sit and watch. This is the beer in the wardrobe, is it?

    Belinda: No, my dear, he wants us to rehearse.

    Selsdon: Yes, but I think we gotta rehearse, haven't we?

    Lloyd: Rehearse! Yes, Selsdon. Well done. I knew you'd think of something.

  • Lloyd: Think of the first night as the dress rehearsal. If we can just get through the play once tonight - for doors and sardines. That's what it's all about, doors and sardines. Getting on, getting off. Getting the sardines on, getting the sardines off. That's farce. That's - that's the theatre. That's life.

    [pause]

    Belinda: God, Lloyd, you're so deep.

  • Lloyd: I'm just God, Belinda, love. I'm just the one with the English degree. I don't *know* anything.

  • Lloyd: Like the band playing on as the Titanic sank.

  • Lloyd: I'm not running away. I'm just not the kind of person who gets a kick out of watching an automobile crash, particularly when it's my automobile! It's gonna be the worst catastrophe Broadway has ever seen. They're gonna forget their lines, the set will fall down. None of us will get out of New York alive; they've got big pictures of us in the lobby. I'll get on a plane. I should've got on a plane when we first opened in Des Moines! I should've got on a plane *before* we opened in Des Moines! I should've got on a plane at the dress rehearsal! As soon as that curtain went up at the beginning of act one! As soon as that damn phone rang and Dotty came on with that first plate of sardines!

  • Lloyd: As long as Dotty's happy.

    Dotty: Absolutely happy, Lloyd dear.

    Lloyd: Would you do something for me, then, Dotty, my precious?

    Dotty: Anything, Lloyd sweetheart.

    Lloyd: Take the sardines off with you.

  • Lloyd: Right, from Belinda and Freddy's entrance.

    [Poppy comes running onstage]

    Lloyd: Oh my God, what's happened now?

    Poppy: The police.

    Lloyd: The police?

    Poppy: They found an old man lying unconscious in the doorway just across the street...

    Lloyd: Oh, yes, thank you.

    Poppy: ...and they say he's *very* dirty and pretty smelly...

    Lloyd: Yes, thank you, Po...

    Poppy: ...and I thought, "oh my God," because-because when you get close to Selsdon...

    Belinda: Poppy!

    Poppy: ...no, no, I mean, if you stand anywhere *near* Selsdon, you can't help noticing this very distinctive...

    [She sniffs and stops dead]

    Selsdon: I'll tell you something, Poppy. Once you get it in your nostrils, you never forget it. Sixty years now, and the smell of the theatre still haunts me.

    [He walks away]

    Belinda: Bless him!

  • Brooke: You can't even get the door open.

    [and, in fact, Gary can't]

    Lloyd: [distant] Hold it.

    Frederick: [entering with Belinda] Yes, but this is Mrs. Clackett's afternoon off.

    Lloyd: [a little louder] Hold it!

    Frederick: We've got the place entirely to ourselves.

    Belinda: Look at it.

    Lloyd: [Freddy tries to close the door but can't] HOLD IT!

    [they continue to try to open or close their respective doors]

    Lloyd: And God said HOLD IT!

    [they stop]

    Lloyd: And they held it. And God saw that it was TERRIBLE!

    Gary: Sorry, folks. The door won't open.

    Belinda: Sorry, folks, this door won't close.

    Lloyd: And God said, "POPPY!"

    Frederick: Sorry folks, am I doing something wrong? You know how stupid I am about doors.

    Belinda: Freddy, darling, you're doing it perfectly.

    Frederick: As long as it wasn't me that broke it.

    Lloyd: [Poppy comes on stage] ... And there was Poppy. And God said, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fetch Tim to fix the doors."

  • Lloyd: Nothing could have prepared us for the final horror: Cleveland!

  • Lloyd: Don't fall down, Tim. We may not be insured.

    [Tim falls down]

  • Lloyd: You hang up the phone, you leave the sardines, and you got out with the NEWSPAPER!

  • Lloyd: [dressed as the burglar] I've been working on Hamlet for the past six weeks.

    Dotty: Do you think he needs working on more than we do?

  • Lloyd: Brooke?

    Brooke: Yes?

    Lloyd: Are you in?

    Brooke: In?

    Lloyd: Are you there?

    Brooke: What?

    Lloyd: You're out. Okay. I'll call again.

  • Lloyd: I don't know what you're waiting for. Her eighteenth birthday?

  • Lloyd: On we blindly stumble!

  • [looking for Selsdon]

    Frederick: I'm sure he wouldn't. Not during a tech rehearsal.

    Dotty: Half a chance, he would!

    Brooke: Would what?

    DottyGaryLloyd: [Gesturing drink in hand] Glck! Glck! Glck!

  • Poppy: Well, I'm sorry, but, you've got to hear, because I'm... PREGNANT!

    [pause]

    Lloyd: And curtain!

  • Frederick: Alright, I see all that.

    Lloyd: Oh no.

    Frederick: I just don't know why I take them.

    Lloyd: Freddy love, why does anyone do anything? Why does that other idiot go out of the front door holding two plates of sardines? I mean, I-I'm not getting at you, love.

    Gary: Course not, Lloyd. I mean, why do I? I mean, Jesus, when you come to think about it, why *do* I?

    Lloyd: Who knows?

    Gary: Who knows. You see, Freddy?

    Lloyd: The wellsprings of human action are deep and cloudy. Maybe something happened to you when you were a very, very, very small child that made you frightened to let go of groceries.

    Belinda: Or it could be genetic.

    Gary: Yes, or it could be... you know.

    Lloyd: Could-could well be.

    Frederick: Of course, thank you. I understand all that, but...

    Lloyd: Freddy love, I'm telling you I don't know. I-I don't think the *author* knows. I don't know why the author came into this industry in the first place. I don't know why any of us came into it.

    Frederick: All the same, if you could just give me a reason I could keep in my mind.

    Lloyd: Alright, I'll give you a reason then. You carry those groceries into the study, Freddy honey, because it's just slightly after midnight, and we're not going to be finished before we open tomorrow night - Correction. Before we open TONIGHT!

  • LloydTimSelsdon: When I think, I used to do banks. When I remember, I used to do boullion vaults.

  • [everyone except Poppy and Tim are on-stage and have no idea where they are or what to do now]

    Lloyd: I've got to get the 8:40 to New York!

    Poppy: [Lloyd opens the door to find Poppy wrapped in sheets, playing Freddy's part] Ah! House of heavenly peace! I rent it.

    Dotty: Oh! It's the other one! And in her wedding dress.

    Belinda: Yes, yes, it's their wedding day!

    All: Oh!

    Belinda: What a happy ending... to the... to the first act!... Of their new life together! And they just want to be alone in their new home... if only someone would pull the shades!

    [Indicates that the curtain should come down]

    Tim: [Tim enters in the black sheets, prepared to play Brooke's part] Come in?

    Dotty: Oh, and it's the mother of the bride.

    Tim: Go out?

    All: Pull the shades!

    [Tim runs out to lower the curtain]

    Selsdon: Last line?

    All: Last line!

    Selsdon: I'll tell you one thing, Vicky.

    All: [Dotty slaps Vicky, who loses a contact lens and goes looking for it] What's that, Dad?

    Selsdon: When all around is strife and uncertainty, there's nothing like an old fashioned plate of, uh... curtain!

  • Lloyd: What's the line, Freddy?

    Frederick: [with glue on his pants] I've heard of people getting stuck with the problem...

    Lloyd: *stuck* with the problem.

    Frederick: *stuck* with the problem?

    Lloyd: *stuck* with the problem.

    Frederick: I've heard of people getting *stuck* with the problem, but this is ridiculous!

  • Lloyd: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

  • Lloyd: [They are discussing why the sheik looks like Phillip] It is kind of a coincidence, Freddy. Until you reflect that there was an earlier draft of the play, now unfortunately lost to us, and in this the author makes it clear that Phillip's father, as a young man, traveled extensively in the middle east...

    Frederick: I see. Oh, I see!

    Lloyd: You see!

    Frederick: That's very interesting.

    Lloyd: I thought you'd like that.

    Frederick: But will the audience get it?

    Lloyd: Well, you must show them Freddy. With looks, with gestures. That's what acting is all about. Ok?

    Frederick: Yes, thank you Lloyd. Thank you.

  • [first lines]

    Usher: Curtains going up! Curtains going... up! Curtains going up!

    Lloyd: [voiceover] A big Broadway opening. Everybody who's anybody in New York is inside this theater tonight. Everybody but one man. This man - ME!

  • Chuck Raven: Where there hell is he?

    Lloyd: He's in with his, uh, spiritual adviser.

    Chuck Raven: Oh, Jesus Chris!

    Lloyd: Well, He may be in there too.

  • Dickie Pilager: [giving speech] A government strong enough, brave enough, to maintain the cultural equilibrium.

    Lloyd: What's cultural equilibrium mean?

    Chuck Raven: No hand-outs for homos.

  • Lloyd: [Referring to the dead body on the other end of the fishing pole] Whatta want me to do with this?

    Chuck Raven: You don't reel it in, and you don't let it get away!

  • Ronnie: [about Bon Scott] He went out in style!

    Sam: That's how I want to go out!

    Lloyd: What, choke on your own vomit?

  • Lloyd: You know what your problem was? You had no connections. With my connections...

    Sonny: I'd get 12 years of good behaviour.

  • Lloyd: Right, so we're going to have to break the guys out, so we're going to have to blow out the side wall... have you got any explosives?

    Anna: No... but I can get some tomorrow

    Lloyd: Fuck, that'll be too late

  • Sonny: [Lloyd is describing hiding the drugs he's smuggling in a cubicle at the airport, when he has heard a knock at the door and flushed them] So was it the customs guy at the door?

    Lloyd: Nah, it was just some old bloke that looked like Mr Miyagi!

  • Lloyd: Sam, why can't I be in the band?

    Sam: Because you're no good. You're our manager

    Lloyd: So why are you lead singer?

    Sam: Because I can sing.

    Lloyd: No you can't, you suck!

    Sam: OH yeah, you wanna have a go?

    Lloyd: [Sam advances on Lloyd] Bring it on, I can take you! Me and my broom!

  • Lloyd: [Discussing their band getting back together] I'd be pretty good on bass...

    Sam: Watch the road.

    Lloyd: Yeah. I'm just saying...

    Sam: Watch the road!

  • Sam: [Last lines] Hey Lloyd! You can be in the band!

    Lloyd: YEEEEEAAAAAH!

  • Lloyd: [after being handed a black AC/DC shirt] Do you have anything in white?

    Sam: How many AC/DC shirts do you see made in white?

    Lloyd: Well, it's going to be a bit hot wearing black in the desert, Sam.

  • Lloyd: Women: can't live with them, can't live without them.

    Jack Torrance: Words of wisdom, Lloyd my man. Words of wisdom.

  • Jack Torrance: Hi, Lloyd. Little slow tonight, isn't it?

    [laughs maniacally]

    Lloyd: Yes, it is, Mr. Torrance.

  • Lloyd: What will you be drinking, sir?

    Jack Torrance: Hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd.

  • Lloyd: How are things going, Mr. Torrance?

    Jack Torrance: Things could be better, Lloyd. Things could be a whole lot better.

  • Lloyd: Born phonies, all you newspapermen.

  • Lloyd: Trent!

    Trent: Yes, sir.

    Lloyd: A pillow case is missing.

    Trent: I don't have it, sir.

    Lloyd: It's from your bed.

    Trent: I don't have it, sir.

    Lloyd: You want to go back into the hall?

    Trent: I don't have it, sir!

    Wilkes: [Trying to end the argument] Let him keep it.

    Lloyd: Keep out of this, Wilkes!

    Wilkes: Dr. Cristo said not to get him excited.

    Lloyd: You know what that pillow case means.

    Wilkes: [Puts a hand on Trent's shoulder to comfort him] It's all right, Trent. We know you don't have it.

    Trent: Thank you, sir.

  • [the electricity goes off]

    Lloyd: I like walking around in the pitch black. I think I just put my hand in guacamole.

  • Peter: Is there anything more terrifying than the destruction of the world?

    Lloyd: Yes. The knowledge that it doesn't matter one way or the other. Its all random, resonating aimlessly out of nothing and eventually vanishing forever. I'm not talking about the world, I'm talking about the universe, all space, all time, just temporary convulsion. And I got paid to prove it.

    Peter: You feel so sure of that when you look out on a clear night like tonight and see all those millions of stars, that none of it matters?

    Lloyd: I think its just as beautiful as you do, and vaguely evocative of some deep truth that always just keeps slipping away, but then my professional perspective overcomes me; I just wish for a more penetrating view of it, and I understand it for what it truly is. Haphazard. Morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.

  • Nathan: Lloyd! Dinner!

    Lloyd: I'm not hungry

    Nathan: Lloyd!

    Lloyd: I'M NOT HUNGRY!

  • Nathan: I heard Troy got his butt whipped Yeah so?

    Lloyd: ...Yeah so?

    Nathan: So What are you gunna do about it?

    Lloyd: You better get out of here before mom sees your bains splattered all over my ceiling!

  • Rachel: You think I'm someone from a mental institution, don't you?

    Lloyd: Are you?

  • Lloyd: I walked out on a woman with multiple sclerosis and two children. One of them brain damaged because I was too drunk to see him playing in the snow... and I ran over them with the snowblower.

  • Lloyd: The past is something you wake up to. It's the nightmare you wake up to every single day.

  • Fast Tim Timko: Who said that you were most like blue cheese? Your mother or your wife?

    Lloyd: That's my favorite.

    Fast Tim Timko: Nobody's interested in your personal life, Lloyd!

  • Lloyd: [doorbell rings] Aww! Who the hell is that?

  • Lloyd: [using binoculars] I tell you mate this guy looks like the toxic avenger... he is well freaky

    Dumpy: [gets into said vehicle] What? Freaker than Me?

    Lloyd: [stunned] Who the fuck are you?

    Dumpy: Me? I'm Dumpy!

    Lloyd: Well where's Ray?

    Dumpy: He's right over there

    [shows Ray kneeling as a youth holds a blade jammed in his head]

    Lloyd: [aghast] FUCKING HELL!

    Dumpy: [whips out a knife] Hunting season's come early this month

    [last lines]

    Lloyd: Mate? Wait... wait... don't!

  • Lloyd: What do you know about art?

    Bucky Kaps: Nothing.

  • Roy Rogers: [singing about Mr. Moreland] Living in the open ought to do him lots of good, for...

    Roy and Pioneers: [singing] He should be a Vaquero!

    Lloyd: He never gets out!

    Tim: He's lame, no doubt!

    Karl: He's got the gout!

    Hugh: He's much too stout.

    Roy Rogers: [singing] What do you think we ought to do?

    Roy and Pioneers: [singing] Why, he should be a Vaquero!

Browse more character quotes from Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

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