Damon Macready Quotes in Kick-Ass (2010)

Damon Macready: So... Have you thought a little more about what you might want for your birthday?

Mindy Macready: Can I get a puppy?

Damon Macready: [surprised] You wanna get a dog?

Mindy Macready: Yeah, a cuddly fluffy one, and a Bratz movie-star make over Sasha!

[Damon is stunned]

Mindy Macready: [laughs] I'm just fucking with you Daddy! Look, I'd love a Benchmade model 42 butterfly knife.

Damon Macready: [relieved] Oh, child... You always knock me for a loop!

Mindy Macready: Daddy? I'm scared.

Damon Macready: Come on, Mindy, honey? Be a big girl now. There's nothing to be afraid of.

Mindy Macready: Is it gonna hurt bad?

Damon Macready: Aww, child. Only for a second, sugar.

Damon Macready: [testing her] A handgun bullet travels at? More than?

Mindy Macready: [rolls eyes] 700 miles an hour.

Damon Macready: 700 miles an hour. So at close range like this, the force is gonna take you off your feet for sure, but it's really no more painful than a punch in the chest.

Mindy Macready: [mumbles to herself] I hate getting punched in the chest.

Damon Macready: [cocks gun] You're gonna be fine, baby doll!

[he aims and fires, hitting her squarely in the chest. She goes flying off her feet, landing on her back]

Damon Macready: [walking up to her as she pulls the bullet out of her bullet-proof vest hidden underneath her jacket] How was that? Not so bad. Kinda fun, huh? Now you know how it feels. You won't be scared when some junkie asshole pulls a glock.

Mindy Macready: [smiling] I wouldn't have been scared anyways!

Damon Macready: That's my girl.

[helping her up]

Damon Macready: Alright, up you get. Two more rounds and then home.

Mindy Macready: Again?

Damon Macready: Uh-huh.

Mindy Macready: Look, only if we can go by the bowling alley on the way back.

Damon Macready: The bowling alley?

Mindy Macready: Yeah, and ice cream after!

Damon Macready: [thinking about it for a second] Huh... okay. Two more rounds. No wincing... No whining! And you got yourself a deal, young lady.

Mindy Macready: Yeah! I'm gonna get a hot fudge sundae!

Damon Macready: Good call, baby doll!

[shoots her again]

Sergeant Marcus Williams: You owe that girl a childhood.

Damon Macready: I'll tell you who owes her a childhood, FRANK D'AMICO!

Damon Macready: Mindy, no more homework, Babydoll. Time for Frank D'Amico to go bye-bye.

Damon Macready: [Damon is studying security videos and blueprints for Frank D'Amico's building] We've gotta get *over* it, on *top* of it, and then *into* it! Right in the middle of it!

Mindy Macready: [looks up from the computer screen she's been studying] Daddy, I think I found one. It's perfect, and they can deliver it in three days.

[slightly deflated as she looks at the price]

Mindy Macready: Ah... It's three hundred thousand bucks.

Damon Macready: [walks around the desk to examine her discovery on the the computer screen] Can you think of anything else you'd rather spend it on?

[sees what's on the screen]

Damon Macready: Oooohhhhhhhh, my gosh! That is *cool*!

Mindy Macready: [smiling] Yeah!

Damon Macready: Add to shopping cart.

Mindy Macready: Okay.

Damon Macready: Hit-Girl, back to headquarters!

Damon Macready: [from trailer] Tool up, honey bunny. It's time to get bad guys.

Damon Macready: [finding Marcus in his apartment, pointing a gun at him] How'd you find me, Marcus?

Sergeant Marcus Williams: One of us is still a cop, remember?

[Big Daddy just shot a man who was sneaking up on Hit-Girl as he was about to kill her]

Damon Macready: Now Hit-Girl, we always keep our backs where?

Hit Girl: To the wall Daddy, I know. Um, it... it won't happen again. Nice shot, by the way.

Damon Macready: Thank you.