Fan Quotes in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

Basil: Did we get Dr. Evil?

Radar Operator: No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge...

Teacher: Penis. The male reproductive organ. Also known as tallywhacker, schlong, or...

Friendly Dad: Wiener? Any of your kids want another wiener?

Friendly Son: Dad, what's that?

Friendly Dad: I don't know, son, but it has great big...

Peanut Vendor: Nuts. Hot, salty nuts. Who wants some?...

Peanut Vendor: Lord Almighty!

Woman: That looks just like my husband's...

Circus Barker: ONE-EYED MONSTER. Step right up and see the One-eyed Monster!

Cyclops: RARRR.

Cyclops: Hey, what's that? It looks like a...

Fan: Woody. Woody Harrelson. Could I have your autograph?

Woody: Sure. Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing!

Fan: It's so huge.

Woody: No, I've seen bigger. That's...

Dr. Evil: Just a little prick.

Fan: Happy, the gold jacket's yours. Shooter's gonna choke!

Happy Gilmore: [after having been suspended for fighting with Bob Barker] Let me just enjoy the one thing that makes me a little bit happy. This fresh, cold, delicious, turkey-filled...

[scene cuts to a golf tee where Happy is holding a sandwich in a commercial for Subway]

Happy Gilmore: ...Cold-cut combo from Subway! I eat three every day to keep me strong.

Fan: Hey Happy, hit one over here.

Happy Gilmore: Comin' right up!

[Happy hits the sandwich off a tee and straight into the fan's open mouth]

Happy Gilmore: That's what I call a hole-in-one.

Fan: I love these guys! You know what? They're like Bill and Ted meet... Cheech and Chong!

Holden McNeil: Yeah. I-I kinda like to think of them as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern meet Vladamir and Estragon.

Fan: Yes!

[pause]

Fan: Who?

[Rube throws a ground ball over the first base dugout and nearly hits Mr. Buzz]

Fan: Get some glasses, catcher!

[Mr. Buzz flips off Rube]

Fan: Are you Sandy Bates?

Sandy Bates: Uhhh... no.

Fan: Yes, you are.

Sandy Bates: No n-n-n-no, I'm not.

Fan: My mother buys meat in the same butcher shop your mother does.

Sandy Bates: Oh, great.

Fan: Can I have your autograph?

Sandy Bates: Oh, jeez.

Fan: Could you just write: "To Phyllis Weinstein, you unfaithful, lying bitch."

Fan: [Yelling to Molly, while walking through the arena hall, with Iris and Harry] Hey honey, you look better, with your clothes off!

Molly: [Flips him off]

Fan: What will communist ethics be like?

Ivanov: The same as they are now, I expect.

Fan: Meaning what?

Ivanov: Look out for one another, work for one's country, love it, love the arts and science.

Fan: What will the difference be then?

Ivanov: It will be easier to explain when communism comes.

Fan: Oh yes, I understand. It's money. It's a great evil, because you steal without realizing it.

Ivanov: One must always be sensitive to the intoxication of life.

Fan: Can I ask you another question? Is poetry formative or simply decorative?

Ivanov: Everything that decorates life is formative.

J. Daniel Atlas: I'm going to flip through this deck and I want you to see one card, and not this one. That's too obvious. Pay close attention. That was too fast. I'll do it again. Are you ready? Okay, now did you see one?

Fan: Yes

J. Daniel Atlas: Do you have one in mind?

Fan: Yes

J. Daniel Atlas: Now, do you see your card here?

Fan: No

J. Daniel Atlas: That's because you're looking too closely. And what have I been telling you all night? The closer you look...

Crowd: The less you see!