Vanessa Kensington Quotes in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

Vanessa Kensington: Do you smoke after sex?

Austin: I don't know, baby, I never looked.

Vanessa Kensington: I'm gonna get us some more champagne jungle boy

[glitches]

Vanessa Kensington: I'm gonna get us some more champagne jungle boy

Austin: [confused] Are you alright?

Vanessa Kensington: I've never felt better Austin

[crushes bottle]

Austin: Huh? I'm just gonna watch a movie

Austin Powers: That's Dr. Evil's cat!

Vanessa Kensington: How can you tell?

Austin Powers: I never forget a pussy... cat.

Vanessa Kensington: Look, I know I'm being neurotic, but I can't shake off this suspicious feeling about that Italian secretary. You know, Miss Fagina. I don't want to sound paranoid, but I've had some bad relationships in the past, and I have been known to be jealous. I'm sorry.

Austin Powers: No, don't be sorry, baby. You're right to be suspicious. I shagged her.

Vanessa Kensington: What?

Austin Powers: I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!

Vanessa Kensington: I don't believe you, Austin! I mean, she was repellant.

Austin Powers: Saucer of milk, table 2. Meow.

Vanessa Kensington: Well, did you use protection?

Austin Powers: Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.

Vanessa Kensington: You know I meant 'did you use a condom'?

Austin Powers: No. Only sailors use condoms, baby.

Vanessa Kensington: Not in the 90's, Austin.

Austin Powers: Well they should, those filthy beggars. They go from port to port.

Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, my job is to acclimatize you to the nineties. You know, a lot's changed since 1967.

Austin Powers: No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!

Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.

Austin Powers: What's your point, Vanessa?

[Austin and Vanessa see a man decapitated]

Austin Powers: Not the time to lose one's head.

Vanessa Kensington: No.

Austin Powers: That's not the way to get ahead in life.

Vanessa Kensington: No.

Austin Powers: It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong.

Vanessa Kensington: Hmm.

Austin Powers: He'll never be the head of a major corporation.

Vanessa Kensington: Okay, that'll do.

Austin Powers: Okay.

Vanessa Kensington: Always wanting to have fun, Austin. That's you in a nutshell!

Austin Powers: No, this is me in a nutshell.

[acts as if he were in a nutshell]

Austin Powers: Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this nutshell? Look at the size of this bloody great big nutshell! What sort of shell has a nut like this? This is crazy!

Austin Powers: That's fascinating, Vanessa. Listen, why don't we go in the back and shag?

Vanessa Kensington: What?

Austin Powers: I've been frozen for 30 years. I've gotta see if my bits and pieces are still working.

Vanessa Kensington: Excuse me?

Austin Powers: My Wedding tackle.

Vanessa Kensington: I'm sorry. Uh...

Austin Powers: My meat and two veg. My twig and berries. H-ello, lads, are you still awake?

Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers... Mr. Powers, please! I'd appreciate it if you could concentrate on our mission and give your libido a rest...

Austin Powers: No, you're right to be suspicious! I shagged her!

Vanessa Kensington: What?

Austin Powers: I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!

Vanessa Kensington: What's your plan?

Austin Powers: [nervously] First, I plan to soil myself. Then I'm going to regroup and come up with a new plan. Any thoughts?