Donatello Quotes in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

[car chase]

Donatello: Bogeys on the bus! Press the button!

Leonardo: What button? There are a million buttons!

Donatello: Leo, you're not gonna believe this. Okay, I made this solution from the sample of the purple ooze, right, to expedite analysis of the isotope, but, while I was waiting for it to catalyse, I started thinking. If the purple ooze can people into animals, perhaps, if properly re-engineered, watch this, watch this, it could turn us... into humans.

[demonstrates by giving his turtle hand extra fingers]

Donatello: If we could get our hands on more of this stuff, it could be life-changing!

Leonardo: We don't need that kind of change.

Raphael: Every minute we stay down here, Shredder gets stronger and Mikey gets more annoying!

Donatello: We're training... sort of. As soon as the sun goes down, it's Turtle time!

[fighting on a plane after losing to Bebop and Rocksteady]

Michelangelo: You can't just push past me like that!

Raphael: You were being a nitwit! You were going to let it get by you!

Donatello: I had it right in my hand, you acted like I wasn't even there!

Leonardo: It is not my job to make your presence known, okay! Get your head out of your head and communicate!

Raphael: Well, what do you expect? He's all logic, no skill!

Michelangelo: [to Raph] Well, coming from the guy who's all instinct, no restraint...

Leonardo: [to Mikey] What do YOU know about anything! You're all heart, and no brains!

Donatello: [to Leo] How could you? You may know a lot about strategy ,but you know nothing about feelings!

Leonardo: Fair enough. Wanna know the one thing I am feeling? We may be brothers... but we are not a team.

Leonardo: How're you doing up there, Donnie?

Donatello: [piloting a plane with his staff] I'm doing awesome!

Krang: [grabs Mikey] Come here, little turtle! Let me give you a hug, GOODBYE!

[puts Mikey in a bear hug]

Raphael: Nobody!

Leonardo: Messes!

Donatello: With Mikey!

[all three take down the Krang suit]

[a vortex opens in the sky]

Leonardo: What's happening out there, Donnie?

Donatello: I don't know, but it doesn't look good...

[April meets the Turtles for the first time]

April O'Neil: What are you?

Leonardo: Well, miss, we're ninjas.

Raphael: We're mutants!

Donatello: Technically, we're turtles.

Michelangelo: And we're teenagers. But we can have adult conversations.

April O'Neil: So, you're... Ninja Mutant Turtle Teenagers?

Donatello: When you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous!

Leonardo: I think this is it, guys!

[the Turtles and April start to plummet to the ground]

Leonardo: Does anyone have anything they wanna say? Donnie?

Donatello: I'm the one who eats the icing off the pop tarts in the morning and puts them back in the box!

Michelangelo: I so did not understand the ending of Lost!

Leonardo: Raph?

Raphael: I just... uh, uh... If this our last moment together, I just want you guys to know I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was so hard on you! Ugh. Everytime I pushed you I... I threatened you, I yelled at you, I pushed you beyond your limits, it's because I believe in you! I believe in each one of you! I believe in you spirit and your intelligence and your potential! And every time I talked about walking away it was because I was scared! I just didn't think I was good enough to stand next to you and call you brothers, and say to you, I love you! I love you guys so much!

Donatello: Raph... we made it. You crying?

Raphael: No, ding dong. It's just a little dusty out here.

Donatello: [wakes up April] Ma'am, can you hear me? Do you know what city you're in? Do you know where you are?

Michelangelo: Have you seen that video where the cat is playing Chopsticks with chopsticks?

[Splinter catches the Turtles sneaking in]

Splinter: Where have you been?

[knocks down Leonardo]

Raphael: We were working out!

[gets knocked down]

Donatello: I forgot to soak my retainer!

[gets knocked down]

Michelangelo: I'm totally sleepwalking! Mikey's sleeping, and walking, he's totally innocent!

[gets knocked down]

[Splinter brings out a pizza since his children won't speak]

Splinter: Of course, you've all tasted the five-cheese pizza. But this... cheesemongers have speculated its existence for centuries. Da Vinci's original masterpiece. I submit to you... Novantanove Formaggio, The 99-cheese pizza!

Michelangelo: It's not possible...

Donatello: Mikey, it's a trap! A pizza with that variety of cheese is a culinary impossibility!

Splinter: [holds out a piece to Michelangelo] Shall I list the ingredients? Cheddar... Provolone...

Leonardo: Mikey, don't you do it!

Splinter: Asiago...

Donatello: Keep it together!

Splinter: Taleggio...

Michelangelo: I don't even know what that is...

Splinter: Mozzarella, of course...

Michelangelo: [cracks] Okay, okay, okay... We left the lair because the Foot were taking hostages, and we totally kicked butt, and there was this girl named April O'Neil who took our picture... but we took care of it!

[after beating the Foot, the Turtles celebrate on a rooftop]

Raphael: That's what I'm talking about! This is OUR city! These are OUR streets!

Michelangelo: You mess with us, you steppin' to the Wu-TANG!

Raphael: Did you see that guy's jaw connect with the concrete?

Donatello: He'll be drinking out of a sippy cup for months!

Raphael: That's what I'm talking about! Like shadows in the night, completely unseen...

[April takes a picture]

Michelangelo: What was that?

Donatello: It's a camera flash...

[Shredder attacks the Turtles as they defend the tower]

Leonardo: Donnie, what are the odds of surviving this?

Donatello: 0.00000003%!

Leonardo: I'll take it!

Donatello, Raphael, Leonardo: Shut up Mikey!

[all the Turtles get jammed in a tunnel]

Donatello: [smells a fart] Mikey, was that you?

Michelangelo: Eh... pepperoni.

Michelangelo: Leo's in trouble!

Raphael: My shell's cracked... just duct tape it up...

Donatello: Allow me to be the badass for once!

[goes to save Leonardo]

[Donatello checks out the Foot and sees they're armed]

Donatello: Oh my Gosh, they have guns!

[sliding down a mountainslope]

Raphael: Hey Donnie, do that fancy slingshot thing! We're gonna take Little Miss Sunshine out!

Donatello: Batter up!

[with his staff, he swings Raphael into Karai's SUV]

[the Turtles bring April to their lair]

Michelangelo: Welcome to my crib, girl!

April O'Neil: Where are we?

Michelangelo: This is our Fortress of Solitude, our Hogwarts, our Xavier's Academy, our secret Wonderland!

April O'Neil: [sniffs] Are we in the sewer?

Michelangelo: No...

Donatello: Technically, yes.

[from trailer]

Donatello: I always wanted to try this...

[uses his staff as a fulcrum to tip over a moving SUV]

Donatello: Surveillance are showing heavy, HEAVY Foot Clan activity.

Raphael: They've taken hostages, dude...

Leonardo: You know we're not supposed to go above ground!

Raphael: We've done this before. We started something, and we gotta finish it.

Michelangelo: [looking at a monitor] This is insane... that cat is playing Chopsticks with chopsticks!

Leonardo: Don't be an idiot!

[changes the monitor's channel, to Mikey's chagrin]

Leonardo: Okay... let's rock and roll, boys!

Donatello: BAM! System disabled! Who wants Italian? I'm buying! Tiramisu for everybody!

Donatello: You're a claustrophobic.

Casey Jones: You want a fist in the mouth? I've never even looked at another guy before.

[last lines]

Leonardo: We were awesome!

Michaelangelo: Bodacious!

Raphael: Bitchin'!

Donatello: Uh...

Michaelangelo: Gnarly!

Leonardo: Radical!

Raphael: Totally tubular, dude!

Michaelangelo: Wicked!

Leonardo: Hellacious!

Donatello: Uh, mega...

[Splinter clears his throat, the Turtles clam up]

Splinter: I have always liked... Cowabunga.

Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael, Donatello: COWABUNGA!

Splinter: [laughs] I made a funny!

Splinter: For 15 years now, we have lived here. Before that time, I was a pet of my master Yoshi. When we were forced to come to New York, I found myself for the first time without a home, wandering thew sewers, scavaging for whatever I could find. And then, one day, I came upon a shattered glass jar and four baby turtles.

Michaelangelo: [interrupts] That was us! Hee hee.

Donatello: Shut up! Oh, no...

Splinter: The little ones were crawling into a strange glowing ooze from a broken canister nearby. I gathered them up in an old coffee can and when I awoke the next morning, I received a shock. For they had doubled in size. I, too, was growing. Particularly in intellect. I was amazed by how intelligent they seemed, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next: one of them spoke.

Young Michaelangelo: [in flashback] Pizza. Pizza.

Splinter: More words followed, and I began their training. Teaching them all that I had learned from my master. And soon, I gave them all names: Leonardo, Michaelangelo

Michaelangelo: That's me.

Splinter: Donatello.

[he makes a heroic-sounding hum]

Splinter: and Raphael.

April: I'm not dreaming, am I?

Splinter: No. I'm afraid not.

Michaelangelo: Oh man, I could go for a little deep dish action right about now.

Danny: I had some pizza here the other day. There might be some left over.

[Donatello takes a look]

Michaelangelo: Well?

Donatello: Question!

Michaelangelo: Grrr, yeah?

Donatello: Do you like penicillin on your pizza?

Michaelangelo: Doh!

[Donatello and Michelangelo start humming "Taps" and set the pizza aside]

Donatello: We were awesome.

Michaelangelo: Yes, Dudes and Dudettes, major-league butt-kicking is back in town.

April O'Neil: Hasn't Raph been gone a long time?

Donatello: Nah, he does it all the time. He likes it!

April O'Neil: Are you sure?

Donatello: Don't worry. He'll probably be back any minute now...

[an unconscious Raphael is thrown through the skylight, landing at Donatello's feet]

Leonardo: Awesome!

Michaelangelo: Righteous!

Donatello: Bossa Nova!

[Leonardo and Michaelangelo look at Donatello]

Michaelangelo: Dude, "Bossa Nova"?

Donatello: Chevy Nova?

[Leonardo and Michaelangelo groan]

Donatello: Excellent!

[Leonardo and Michaelangelo cheer in approval; Raphael walks sullenly behind them]

Donatello: Nice night.

Michaelangelo: Mm-hm. Pizza dude's got thirty seconds.

Donatello: Mm-hm. Hey Mikey, did you ever think about what Splinter said tonight? I mean about what it would be like... You know, not having him?

Michaelangelo: Hmm... Time's up, three bucks off!

Leonardo: [sees that Raphael is awake and rushes to him] Raph! You're awake! How do you feel?

Raphael: What's a guy gotta do... to get some food around here?

Leonardo: [stands up, ecstatic, and runs to bathroom door] Hey! Hey, he's awake! He wants some food! Bring some food!

[runs back to Raphael]

Leonardo: You're gonna be ok Raph... you're gonna be ok!

Raphael: Yeah, yeah, alright Leo! Get a grip, will ya?

Leonardo: Listen, Raph...

[helps Raphael to his feet]

Leonardo: -about what I said before... y'know... about not needing you and all?

Raphael: Leo... don't.

[they hug]

Leonardo: Boy, we missed you.

Donatello: [he and April watch from the doorway] It's a Kodak moment.

Raphael: Where's Splinter?

The Shredder: Ah, the rat. So it has a name...

[remembering his order to kill Splinter]

The Shredder: It HAD a name.

Leonardo: [furiously pushes past the other turtles] You LIE!

The Shredder: Do I?

The Shredder: [Leo lunges at Shredder, who trips him up with his spear and pins him to the ground] He dies! Weapons!

[the turtles grasp their weapons]

The Shredder: NOW!

[Mike, Don and Raph chuck their weapons over the side of the building]

The Shredder: Fools. Ha, ha. The three of you may have overpowered me with the loss of but one! Now your fate... will be HIS!

Michaelangelo, Donatello, Raphael: NOOOO!

Splinter: [Leonardo meditates heavily] ... Leonardo.

Leonardo: Huh? Splinter!

Raphael: [inside playing a board game] "What Russian novel, embraces more than 500 characters, is set in the Napoleotic wars?"

Donatello: 'War and Peace'.

Leonardo: [bursting in] He's alive.

Raphael: [Leo walks right on the board game] Hey!

Donatello: Game smash.

Leonardo: Splinter's alive.

Donatello: We know, Leo, of course he is. We all think he's alive.

Leonardo: I don't *think*. I *know*.

Donatello: Huh?

Leonardo: [Raphael has brought an unconscious April O'Neil into the sewer] Are you crazy?

Raphael: Yeah, Leo, I'm crazy, OK? A loony, OK?

Donatello: But why?

Raphael: Why? Why, oh I don't know, 'cause I wanted to redecorate. You know, a couple of throw pillows, a TV news reporter, what do ya think?

[after Raphael gets a mention from April on the news]

Donatello: I think he's blushing.

Raphael: I am NOT.

Donatello: I think he's actually turning red.

[Raphael chucks a Sai into the floor between Donatello's legs]

Donatello: Hmm, maybe not.

The Shredder: [confronting the turtles] You fight well... in the old style. But you've caused me enough trouble. Now you face: the Shredder.

Donatello: The Shredder?

Michaelangelo: Uuh... maybe all that hardware's for making coleslaw.

[more Foot enter April's home]

Donatello: Hey, guys, I'm not so sure this is, uh, structurally speaking, such a good time for your, uh, buddies to drop in...

[the floor gives away]

Donatello: Good thing these guys aren't lumberjacks.

Michaelangelo: No joke. The only thing safe in the woods... would be the trees!

April O'Neil: I'd like to invite you all in but I really don't have anything to offer you guys except for some... frozen pizza.

Michaelangelo: [springs up from the manhole like a jack-in-the-box] Let's go for it!

Donatello: You said the magic word.

April O'Neil: You guys eat pizza?

Michaelangelo, Donatello: Doesn't everybody?

April O'Neil: Um, yeah... alright.

Leonardo: [from below] Hey, did she say pizza?

[fighting Foot Soldiers]

Michaelangelo: Hey Donny, looks like this one is suffering from SHELL shock!

Donatello: Too derivative.

Michaelangelo: Well, I guess we can really SHELL it out!

Donatello: Too cliché.

Michaelangelo: Well, it was a SHELL of a good hit!

Donatello: I like it!

Raphael: So what do we do now?

Leonardo: What do you mean, what do we do now?

Raphael: Splinter's out there somewhere.

Leonardo: I know Splinter's out there.

Michaelangelo: [guessing what's about to happen] Fight?

Donatello: Fight.

Michaelangelo: Kitchen?

Donatello: Kitchen.

Michaelangelo: Yeah.

[both Michaelangelo and Donatello leave]

Raphael: So what are we gonna do about it?

Leonardo: What CAN we do about it? April's our only link to these guys. We have to wait until she comes up with something.

Raphael: Oh, so that's the plan from the "great leader", huh? Just sit here on our butts!

Leonardo: I never said I was a great leader.

Raphael: Well you sure act like it sometimes.

Leonardo: Yeah? Well, you act like a JERK sometimes, you know that? And this attitude of yours isn't helping anything.

Raphael: Yeah? Well, maybe I'll just take my attitude and LEAVE!

Leonardo: Why don't you?

Raphael: I will.

Leonardo: Good!

Raphael: Great!

Leonardo: Go ahead! We don't need ya!

Michaelangelo: [listening from the kitchen] Pork rind?

Donatello: Pork rind.

Michaelangelo: Hey Donny, Wheel of Fortune, Dude.

[spins around on his shell, knocking down several Foot Soldiers]

Donatello: Hmm, I guess they're not game show fans.

Michaelangelo: And I thought everybody loved Vanna.

April O'Neil: My nearest neighbors are about four miles away. I need to get to a phone and call my boss.

Casey Jones: You mean Charles?

April O'Neil: Yes; how did you know that?

Casey Jones: He left a message on your machine, uh, just before we got out...

April O'Neil: And?

Casey Jones: Well, hey, you just saved yourself an eight-mile round-tripper. Um... You were fired.

April O'Neil: I just saved myself?

Casey Jones: [oblivious to the dark tone] Mm-hm.

Donatello, Michaelangelo: Uh-oh.

April O'Neil: What did you do? Did you take classes in insensitivity?

Casey Jones: I was just trying to break it to you easy.

April O'Neil: Oh, well you FAILED miserably...

Casey Jones: Hey, broadzilla, you wouldn't even be standin' here if it weren't for me, okay?

April O'Neil: Oh, well what do you want? You want a thank you?

Casey Jones: ...No. It's me who should thank you for that priviledge, right?

April O'Neil: Fine!

Casey Jones: Yeah.

April O'Neil: Thank you.

Casey Jones: No, thank YOU!

April O'Neil: You're welcome!

Casey Jones: YOU'RE welcome!

[they go into two separate rooms and slam the doors]

Donatello: Gosh, it's kinda like Moonlighting, isn't it?

[Michaelangelo nods]

[hurling insults in alphabetical order]

Casey Jones: Not even close, Zip Neck. Professor and Mary Anne. Happily ever after.

Donatello: No way, Atomic Mouth, Gilligan was her main man. They'd be married and have six kids by now.

Casey Jones: Gilligan was a geek, Barfaroni!

Donatello: You're the geek, Camel Breath!

Casey Jones: Dome head.

Donatello: Elf lips!

[Casey finishes fixing the engine]

Casey Jones: Okay let's give this a try, funkoid!

Donatello: Here it goes... What are we on?

Casey Jones: Uh, G.

Donatello: Here it goes, gak face!

Casey Jones: I'm ready, hose brain!

April O'Neil: [of Raphael] Well... I *was* going to give you guys a tour of the store. Shall we go get him?

Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello: No.

Donatello: Uh... he just needs to blow off some steam.

Michaelangelo: Yeah.

Donatello: The perimeter's quiet.

Leonardo: Yeah, a little too quiet.

[Donatello knocks two Foot soldiers out]

Donatello: Well, that was easy!

Leonardo: Yeah, a little too easy.

Donatello: Look! It's Raph!

Michaelangelo: Yeah, a little too Raph.

Splinter: Were you seen?

Leonardo: Of course not, Master Splinter.

Donatello: We practiced Ninja.

Michaelangelo: [off camera] The art of invisibility.

[appears from behind Raph]

Splinter: [holds up the New York Post, with a front page picture of the turtles on stage, with the headline "Ninja Rap is Born!"] Practice harder.

[the turtles groan]

Splinter: Ten flips, now! And remember:

[quoting the song played at the show]

Splinter: "Go Ninja, go Ninja, go!" I made another funny! Ha ha ha ha!

Donatello: Yee haw! Ninja cowboy!

Leonardo: Get it?

Donatello: Got it.

Raphael: Good.

Michaelangelo: I don't get it.

Raphael: SHREDDER!

Donatello: Ah! Thanks, Raph, I may never have the hiccups again!

Professor Jordan Perry: This is bad! Carbon dioxide is essential to the anti-mutanagenic process. Their burping is probably retarding the reaction.

Donatello: Is there anyway to speed it back up?

Professor Jordan Perry: Well the reintroduction of CO2 could act as a catalyst.

Donatello: Yeah. Hmm.

Professor Jordan Perry: The problem is finding a ready supply.

[Walks over to a nearby fire extinguisher and takes it off the wall, showing it to Donatello]

Donatello: Genius. Prue genius.

Splinter: What troubles you, my son?

Donatello: I-I don't know. I just thought there would be more to it; to the ooze, to you know, us!

Leonardo: I know!

Donatello: I just always thought there would be something that... I thought we'd find out we were special.

Splinter: Do not confuse the professor's words with your current worth, my son.

Donatello: But I don't believe him! There's just got to be more to it!

Leonardo: Take the ugly one!

Raphael: No, you take the ugly one!

Donatello: I'll take the ugly one.

Michaelangelo: Which one's the ugly one?

Michaelangelo: Guys, guys! I've just thought of something. Two words that'll solve all our housing problems! Time share!

Donatello: [taps on Michaelangelo's head] Hmmm, not quite ripe yet.

[after Leo starts conversation about the Foot]

Raphael: We kicked their butts. They're all in jail. Besides, we took out the Shredder. So what's everyone so worried about, anyway?

Donatello: He's right.

Leonardo: No, Splinter took out the Shredder!

Donatello: They're both right.

Raphael: Yeah, yeah. I was there, Leo, remember? Ol' Shred did a swan dive, with a half gainer, right into the back of a garbage truck! AAAAAHHHH!

Keno: [upon seeing the turtles for the first time] Who? What? Where? How?

Donatello: Well, I guess that leaves out 'why' and 'when', doesn't it?

[cooking up an anti-mutagen to transform Tokka and Rahzar]

Michaelangelo: You think this stuff is gonna work?

Donatello: Well, we won't know for sure until we spray those guys.

Professor Jordan Perry: Well, actually...

Donatello: Actually?

Professor Jordan Perry: Actually... ingestion is the only course.

Michaelangelo: You mean they have to eat it?

Professor Jordan Perry: Affirmative. Yes. Yo. Right on... my man.

Michaelangelo: I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, Michaelangelo: Man, I love being a turtle!

Raphael: Too bad the Shredder can't say the same thing.

April O'Neil: [picks up phone] Donny?

Donatello: April...

April O'Neil: Where are you guys? Did you find a new place to live yet?

Donatello: Yeah, we'll bring you down. We've only had time to pick up Splinter and get a few essentials.

Michaelangelo: [holding out a bag of potato chips] Yeah, the bare essentials.

Donatello: The reason while we're calling is, have you seen Raphael by any chance?

April O'Neil: Raphael? Why, is he missing?

Leonardo: You know, there is still a little more stuff to help with, Michaelangelo!

Michaelangelo: Hey! I'm helping Donny!

[tries to pry the phone from him]

Michaelangelo: Gimme the phone!

Donatello: NO!

[flips Michaelangelo to the ground]

Donatello: So you haven't seen him at all then, huh?

Leonardo: Well, if she has, tell him thanks for wasting our time, because instead of going to look for the ooze like we should, we gotta go out and look for him instead!

[slams box on Donatello's foot]

Donatello: Owww!

April O'Neil: What was that?

Donatello: Leo says hi!

Michaelangelo: Gimme the phone! Gimme the phone!

Donatello: Oh, all right, all right, here!

Michaelangelo: April, this is Mikey, I'd just like to say: HELLOOOOO, muah, muah, muah, muah, muah...

Donatello: WOULD YOU GIVE ME THAT!

[April laughs as they start arguing again]

Michaelangelo: Ahh, ninja pizza!

Donatello: "Ninja pizza"?

Michaelangelo: Pizza that vanish quickly without trace!

[smoke bomb was set off]

Donatello: Oh great.

Leonardo: Terrific.

Raphael: Wonderful.

Michaelangelo: Bummer.

Michaelangelo: Hey, guys, check this!

[he uses brushes to imitate 'The Karate Kid']

Michaelangelo: Wax on, wax off. Wax on...

Raphael: Mouth OFF!

Donatello: Hey, everyone's a critic.

Leonardo: I'm Leonardo.

Michaelangelo: I'm Michaelangelo.

Donatello: Donatello.

Raphael: I'm Raphael!

Michaelangelo: All the good ones end in "O"!

Michaelangelo: Um, not to criticize science or anything, but wouldn't it be easier just to call it 'the pink one'?

Professor Jordan Perry: [pours a liquid in a pan, and eats a piece of pizza] Pepperoni heaven!

Professor Jordan Perry: [pours two liquids in a pot] Donatello, continue aeration!

Donatello: Continuing aeration.

[begins to stir the mixture the pot]

Raphael: [sniffs the mixture] Man! This stuff is rank!

Keno: Yeah, try carrying it on the subway sometime. I never got a seat so fast in my life.

Leonardo: [sniffs the mixture] Blech! Thanks for doing all the shopping for us, Keno.

Keno: No problem. I hope you didn't mind me picking up a few pies.

Michaelangelo: You're forgiven.

[sniffs the mixture]

Michaelangelo: Whoa!

[drops a slice of pizza in the mixture]

Michaelangelo: [Donatello continues to mix the stuff with the pizza slice]

April O'Neil: And they said if you don't mean them at the construction site tonight...

Donatello: What?

April O'Neil: He said he'd send out Tokka and Rahzar again. This time into Central Park.

Donatello: Central Park? How are they gonna avoid all of those... people?

Splinter: Then, there is no choice but to meet as the Shredder wishes.

Donatello: Hey, is this gonna work?

[regarding the donut idea]

Michaelangelo: Is, like, Schwarzenegger hard to spell?

[Donatello prepares to spell but realizes its true]

Michaelangelo: Yeah.

[the turtles walk out into the middle of the construction site]

Donatello: Pretty quiet.

Raphael: [shouts and breaks the eerie silence] Shredder!

Donatello: [grabs Raphael] Thanks, Raph. I may never have the hiccups again!

Donatello: [kicks a foot soldier to the ground and starts giddily running around] Haha! I win! You lose!

Leonardo: Turtle-rific

Raphael: Max-a-mundo!

Donatello: Accapella!

Raphael: Huh?

Donatello: Uhhh... Perestroika?

Michaelangelo: Uhh...

Donatello: Ok, I got it... Frère Jacques. Starts singing: Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques...

Michaelangelo: Don... Give it up!

Leonardo: [the Turtles say their farewells to April before entering the sewers] See ya, April.

April O'Neil: Bye.

[Leo hops into the sewers]

Raphael: Wish us luck.

[Hops in]

Donatello: We'll be back for Splinter.

[Hops in]

Michaelangelo: [Imitating Humphrey Bogart] Well, the lives of two people don't amount to a hill o' beans in this crazy world, Elsa. That's why you're getting on that plane.

[April laughs]

Michaelangelo: Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow...

Leonardo: [Yanks Mikey into the sewer] Will you come on?

Michaelangelo: YEOW!

Donatello: These nets are very effective and very well constructed.

Michaelangelo: Yeah, remind me to drop a line to Ralph Nader!

Leonardo: We'll give you the tour later. Right now, we got a few questions.

Donatello: Yeah, a few inquiries.

Michaelangelo: Yeah, a few... Uh, we'll give you the tour later.

[the turtles are watching April interview Professor Perry]

Raphael: Man, who is this spaz-matic?

Donatello: Would you give the guy a break? He's a scientist!

Raphael: Yeah, fascinating. Hey!

[picking up TV guide]

Raphael: Isn't Oprah on?

Leonardo: Raph, just leave it!

[throws away TV guide]

Leonardo: We're watching April.

Donatello: [helping various customers] Sir? Sir. Sir. Did you turn the computer on? Have you plugged it in? Yeah, that would help. No, I'm not playing hard to get. I'm telling you, sir, it's not that kind of phone line. I'm not your enemy. I'm just Donnie, your friendly IT tech support here to help you 24-hours a day, sir. Yeah, I'm sorry. Ma'am!

Michelangelo: Dudes, did anyone get the license plate number of that thing that hit us last night? Man, my head.

Donatello: Okay, that was just weird, first the Foot, then that hideous monster,

Michelangelo: Yeah, it looked like your mom, dude!

Donatello: Yeah, that would make her your mom too, dufus.

Michelangelo: Whatever.

Master Splinter: Ah, good morning boys!

Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo: Good morning Sensei.

Raphael: Sup'.

Michelangelo: [re: Nightwatcher] I hear his bike turns into a plane, or like a jet pack. Hey Don, you're so smart, why don't we have jet packs?

Donatello: Yeah, that's good, Mikey. I don't even trust you with a driver's license.

[to the others]

Donatello: Have you seen the way this guy drives?

Michelangelo: [they hear a monster roar] Woah... Ho Ho someone's craky!

Raphael: [to Leo] ok Jungle Boy, grab a vine

Donatello: Within hours, we'll lose the city. Within days, the country. And within weeks... the world.

Michelangelo: Oh, so it's like Hailey's Comet - only monsters come out!

Michelangelo: What do you think it is?

Donatello: An interdimensional portal to a distant world, I would assume.

Michelangelo: Ooooh! I want one!

Donatello: [examining a dart taken out of Raphael] Yep. This has Winter's name written all over it.

April O'Neil: How could you tell?

Donatello: Because, this has Winter's name written *all* over it.

Michelangelo: [pauses skateboarding] Oh, so it's like Haley's Comet, only monsters come out?

Donatello: Umm, well, yes, I guess so.

Michelangelo: I'm smart.

[skateboards off-screen, sound of a loud crash]

Michelangelo: OW! I'm OK!

Donatello: [talking about Raphael] Why couldn't you have sent him away to train...

Master Splinter: Donatello this home has become like an empty shell. Each of your brothers have strengths and weaknesses. You must learn to be strong when they are weak, for if you cannot learn this than our family, is lost.

Raphael: [the Turtles are fighting Foot Soldiers and Raphael is running towards Donatello] Little help Don!

Donatello: I'm on it!

[Donatello grabs Raphael and throws him into several Foot Soldiers, who he quickly defeats]

Donatello: [Acting as a technical consultant over the phone] Did you turn it on? Did you plug it in? Yes, I think that would help.

[from trailer]

Michelangelo: Did anyone get the license plate of that thing that hit us last night? It looked like your mom, dude!

[laughs]

Donatello: ...Yeah, that would make her your mom too, doofus.

Michelangelo: ...Nuts.

Donatello: [on the phone with a tech support customer] No sir, I'm not playing hard to get. I'm telling you, its not that kind of phone line!

Donatello: [gets up and looks around after landing face first in a shallow pond] Mud wrestling is defintely a spectator sport... Gross.

Donatello: [picks up his helmet and pours out mud] Grosser.

Donatello: April? Yo!

April O'Neill: [splashes mud at Donatello] Here! Help me up.

Donatello: Whoa! Alright, I'm comin'. A little mud, no problem.

Donatello: [picks up April out of the mud but slips and falls on his back] Wait! Wait!

April O'Neill: This is the worst rescue I've ever had.

Donatello: Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up!

Donatello: [April picks him up from the mud] Thanks.

April O'Neill: We better get out of here.

Donatello: Think of it the bright side, April. We could've landed in a great, big, greasy pile of...

April O'Neill: Don't even say it, Donny.

Donatello: I think I swallowed a frog. I hope it wasn't an ancestor.

Donatello: [April trims the leg part of her uniform] Whoa, leg-o-rama!

April O'Neill: Hey, I'm allowed. It's my vacation.

Donatello, Leonardo: Absolutely! Shwing!

[upon realizing they are being watched by a couple of Japanese Honor guards]

Donatello: Uh, ohayou, wasabi.

Raphael: Hello, mustard?

Donatello: OK, so my Japanese is a little rusty. Uh, Suzuki, Kawasaki...

Raphael: [knocks them out cold] How 'bout, uh, sayonara?

Donatello: You were expecting maybe the Addams Family?

Raphael: Maybe this means the village people won't be afraid of us anymore.

[the villagers bow]

Donatello: Well, it's a start.

Leonardo: We're turtles, friend!

Donatello: Of the teenage mutant ninja variety, Sleezeball!

Donatello: See guys, for every one of us that goes back, someone from the past will come here. But, the problem is, that switch will only work under one condition. You know what that is?

Leonardo: Tuesdays?

Donatello: If we don't come back in two-and-a-half days, we're turtle soup.

Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael: Whoa!

Michaelangelo: Bummer.

Leonardo: Hey! Where's Mikey?

Donatello: Last time I saw him, he was doing this: AhAhAhAhAhhhh!

Raphael: Did you hear what he called me, Leo?

Leonardo: Yeah, an ugly lump of dung.

[casually walks away]

Raphael: That was an insult, Leo.

Donatello: Not necessarily, Raph. Did you know that in some countries dung is used as a fuel source?

Donatello: Gee, if we die here in the past, does that mean that we don't get born in the future?

Donatello: Do you think I could *possibly* live without a single microchip?

Walker: You're turtles?

Donatello: Yeah, of the Teenage Mutant Ninja variety.

Raphael: Here they are. The three stooges.

Donatello: Yeah, Larry, Curly, and Moe.

Kenshin: It will only work if the magic travellers each have the same weight.

Donatello: Bingo! Gee, you guys *do* have a good educational system, don't you?

April O'Neill: Would somebody please tell me what the heck is going on around here?

Donatello: Well, relax, April. It's just your, uh, ordinary time travel equal-mass-displacement kind of thing.

Raphael: Ahh, nature. I *love* it. Makes me want to, I don't know, migrate or something.

Donatello: Turtles don't migrate, Raph. Birds do!

Raphael: Hey, I got a beak, don't I?

April O'Neill: You don't mean - you're not seriously suggesting that Donatello is going to make an incredibly arcane time travel machine, are you?

Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael, Donatello: No, of course not!

Michaelangelo: That'd be totally bogus.

Raphael: Really stupid!

April O'Neill: Well, that's a relief.

Donatello: [points over his shoulder] No, that guy's gonna make it.

Mitsu: We will both die, but only one of us with honor.

[she and Lord Norinaga both draw weapons]

Leonardo: Are we outta the loop here, or what?

Donatello: Yeah.

Michaelangelo: Who's trapped inside?

Leo: Lord Norinaga!

Donatello: Lord Norinaga?

[hits the bell with his Bo staff]

Donatello: Name rings a bell.

Donatello: Smells like a geek ran through here.

Donatello: Wow. Bungee jumping without a bungee. That could be dangerous.

Raphael: We've been here for five minutes and we already lost one brother, the magic scepter...

Donatello: Our dignity.

Raphael: ...and no April.

Donatello: We've mutated! And my wheelchair has illogically mutated as well.