Casey Jones Quotes in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

April O'Neil: What's your name?

Casey Jones: Casey Jones.

April O'Neil: [smiles] Hey...

[Mikey appears]

Michelangelo: One question... so are you two like a thing?

Raphael: What are you, chicken?

Casey Jones: Who're you calling chicken, turtle?

Casey Jones: [spots Splinter in the lair] Guys, nobody move! Don't move... there is a giant rat back there.

Raphael: Uh, yeah, we've seen him around here before. You know, there's only one way to get rid of him. You gotta get low...

Michelangelo: Low...

Raphael: When you go at him, you gotta go fast, gotta go hard.

Michelangelo: We believe in you, Casey Jones! It's on you, bro!

Raphael: Yeah, exactly.

Michelangelo: Three, two, one... go!

[Casey charges at Splinter... who knocks him down]

Splinter: Giant rat: one. New guy: zero.

Raphael: [laughs] I can't believe it was that easy!

Rocksteady: [gestures towards Shredder] It's him!

Bebop: Hey, hey, hey, speak from your heart!

Rocksteady: Hey Mr Shredder! Big fan of your work, especially your early stuff!

Bebop: My name is Bebop. This is Rocksteady. I know that's a crazy name, right, but his ancestors are from Finland.

Rocksteady: Yeah, that's right, I'm Finnish. 'Cause when I start a beatdown, I always FINNISH it!

Bebop: What!

Rocksteady: Yeah, I said it!

Bebop: Did you hear that?

Rocksteady: I said it!

Bebop: [laughs] My man!

Rocksteady: My man!

Bebop: Gimme that foot!

[Bebop and Rocksteady proceed to high five each other with their feet]

Casey Jones: [Bangs on the cage in the Police van] Hey! Shut up back there!

Casey Jones: Everything's normal. And the next thing I know, I see a garbage truck, and it starts launching manhole covers!

Casey Jones: Kiss me, it'll make for a great diversion!

[April doesn't kiss Casey, people walk past them]

April O'Neil: The idea is to divert attention away from you!

Casey Jones: [on the Turtles] Who are these guys?

April O'Neil: They're my friends.

Casey Jones: [to the Turtles] Do not eat us!

Deputy Warden Hamlett: Hey, Jones? They'll all yours.

Casey Jones: [puts on his cap and faces Shredder] What up, Big Daddy Lawbreaker? On behalf of the people of New York, welcome... to the big goodbye.

[shuts the paddy wagon's doors]

Donatello: You're a claustrophobic.

Casey Jones: You want a fist in the mouth? I've never even looked at another guy before.

Thug: [of Raph] What the hell was that?

Thug: I - I don't know.

Casey Jones: [jumps down next to them] Now *that*, was a crime, you purse-grabbing pukes. And *this* is the penalty.

[knocks them over with his hockey stick]

Casey Jones: Two minutes for slashing...

[does it again]

Casey Jones: Two minutes for hooking...

[again]

Casey Jones: And let's not forget my personal favorite: two minutes for high sticking.

Raphael: [jumps in and knocks him down] How about a five-minute game misconduct for roughing, pal?

Casey Jones: Hey, Bogey... who died and made you referee? You did your job, now get out of here and let me do mine, all right? These JV low lifes need to be taught a lesson.

Raphael: Not like that they don't. Not from you.

Casey Jones: [turns to see the thugs running away, turns back] Well, it looks like you're the one who needs to be taught a lesson, pal.

[pulls out two ball bats]

Casey Jones: The class is Pain 101. Your instructor is Casey Jones.

Raphael: Look, I don't wanna fight you.

Casey Jones: Yeah, well, tough rocks, pal.

Splinter: Death comes for us all, Oroku Saki, but something much worse comes for you. For when you die, it will be...

[Shredder throws a hidden knife; Splinter catches it, releasing the spear and letting Shredder fall from the building and land in the back of a garbage truck]

Splinter: ...Without honor.

Casey Jones: Oops!

[Casey Jones pulls the lever of the garbage truck and activates its compactor]

April O'Neil: Oh, Casey, hi.

Casey Jones: Hi? I look like I just called Mike Tyson a sissy and all you can say is "Hi"?

April O'Neil: You don't need an ambulance, do you?

Casey Jones: No, but...

April O'Neil: Just shut up and kiss me, OK? I got a report to do.

Casey Jones: I love it when you're pushy.

April O'Neil: Yeah?

[they kiss]

Casey Jones: [to the Foot soldiers of Raph] You guys mind telling me what you're doing to my little green pal over there, hm?

[sees April]

Casey Jones: Oh, who is the babe?

Leonardo: Who the heck is that?

Michaelangelo: Wayne Gretzky on steroids?

Casey Jones: Lead the way, Toots.

April O'Neil: "Toots"?

Casey Jones: Babe? Sweetcakes? Ah - Princess! You wanna throw me a clue here? I'm drowning.

April O'Neil: Hey, you know what, that's okay. I'll do it myself.

Casey Jones: Fine, it's up to you. Just don't come around here asking for my help anymore.

April O'Neil: Casey, I wouldn't ask for your help if you were the last THING on the face of this planet.

Casey Jones: At least I know she thinks of me...

[Casey sprawls out on the porch swing; it breaks and he falls on it to the ground]

Casey Jones: [about April's farmhouse] Hey, didn't they use this place in The Grapes of Wrath?

April O'Neil: Very funny. I told you, I haven't been up here in years.

Casey Jones: This is great. First it was The Farm That Time Forgot and now this. Why don't I ever fall in with people who own condos? Probably hard to get good maid service in a sewer. Maybe you guys should try Roto Rooter, huh?

Casey Jones: [Raph's hat has come off, revealing his face] Hey, what are you, some sort of punker?

Raphael: Huh?

Casey Jones: [baiting] God, I hate punkers... Especially bald ones with green make-up who wear... masks over ugly faces.

Raphael: That's it.

Casey Jones: [as Raph lunges] Ooh.

Raphael: New batter!

[Raph swings at Casey with the bat & missed]

Casey Jones: Strike one!

[Raph swings again and misses]

Casey Jones: What a wiffer!

[Raph jumps over Casey & hits him with the bat]

Raphael: Home run! Raphael wins 1-nothing!

Casey Jones: New game, round head.

[reaches behind and grabs a Cricket bat]

Casey Jones: Cricket!

Raphael: Cricket? Nobody understands cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!

Casey Jones: I'll show ya!

[hits Raphael with the bat]

[Tatsu does his grunt as Casey immediately notices Tatsu, he tries to mimic his grunt in a playful way]

Casey Jones: Uh, you know... A little um...

[acting like he is spraying something in his mouth]

Casey Jones: Primatene might just help to clear that up there.

[Tatsu gave Casey a striaght punch towards his face, knocking him to the floor. As Casey gets up]

Casey Jones: That's going to cost you, Tinkerbell.

[Tatsu gave Casey a left hook to Casey's face, knocking to the floor again. As Casey gets up]

Casey Jones: You know, I don't think that you're listening.

[Tatsu kicks Casey, launching him to the air and crashing into the crates. Casey tries to get up after the injuries he sustained from Tatsu]

Casey Jones: You know, I'm starting to pick up... on a little language barrier thing going here.

[Tatsu kicks Casey in the crotch, then a left roundhouse kick to his face, and then a left hook to his face, knocking him to floor with the injuries he sustained from Tatsu's attack. Casey, who is injured manages to reach for a golf club and as Tatsu approaches him, Casy struck Tatsu in the stomach with his golf club. As Tatsu aches in extreme pain]

Casey Jones: Fore!

[Casey strikes Tatsu like a golf ball, sending him flying towards the wall with crates, knocking him out]

Casey Jones: [kisses the golf club] I'll never call golf a dull game again.

April O'Neil: My nearest neighbors are about four miles away. I need to get to a phone and call my boss.

Casey Jones: You mean Charles?

April O'Neil: Yes; how did you know that?

Casey Jones: He left a message on your machine, uh, just before we got out...

April O'Neil: And?

Casey Jones: Well, hey, you just saved yourself an eight-mile round-tripper. Um... You were fired.

April O'Neil: I just saved myself?

Casey Jones: [oblivious to the dark tone] Mm-hm.

Donatello, Michaelangelo: Uh-oh.

April O'Neil: What did you do? Did you take classes in insensitivity?

Casey Jones: I was just trying to break it to you easy.

April O'Neil: Oh, well you FAILED miserably...

Casey Jones: Hey, broadzilla, you wouldn't even be standin' here if it weren't for me, okay?

April O'Neil: Oh, well what do you want? You want a thank you?

Casey Jones: ...No. It's me who should thank you for that priviledge, right?

April O'Neil: Fine!

Casey Jones: Yeah.

April O'Neil: Thank you.

Casey Jones: No, thank YOU!

April O'Neil: You're welcome!

Casey Jones: YOU'RE welcome!

[they go into two separate rooms and slam the doors]

Donatello: Gosh, it's kinda like Moonlighting, isn't it?

[Michaelangelo nods]

Charles: [on the answering machine dangling from its wire] April, it's Charles... I'm sorry. I don't know how else to say this: You're fired, April. I'm sorry... I know this comes as a blow.

[the wire burns off and the machine falls, hitting a Foot Soldier over the head]

Casey Jones: You can say that again, Chuck.

Gang Leader: We have a loyalty to the Shredder.

Splinter: The Shredder uses you. He poisons your minds to obtains for that which he desires. He cares nothing for you or the people you hurt.

Gang Leader: We're family.

Casey Jones: Family? Did you say family? You call this here and that...

[points to Tatsu, who he just knocked out]

Casey Jones: ...down there, family?

Splinter: Who are you?

Casey Jones: Casey Jones, a friend.

[hurling insults in alphabetical order]

Casey Jones: Not even close, Zip Neck. Professor and Mary Anne. Happily ever after.

Donatello: No way, Atomic Mouth, Gilligan was her main man. They'd be married and have six kids by now.

Casey Jones: Gilligan was a geek, Barfaroni!

Donatello: You're the geek, Camel Breath!

Casey Jones: Dome head.

Donatello: Elf lips!

[Casey finishes fixing the engine]

Casey Jones: Okay let's give this a try, funkoid!

Donatello: Here it goes... What are we on?

Casey Jones: Uh, G.

Donatello: Here it goes, gak face!

Casey Jones: I'm ready, hose brain!

Gang Leader: What are we just standing here for? Let's get him!

Casey Jones: [brandishing golf club] Do you wanna be first, Junior?

Casey Jones: [sighs after knocking out two Foot Soldiers in rapid succession] It's a talent.

Raphael: Meet me on the roof.

Casey Jones: What is it?

Raphael: [pointing up] The roof! You know where the roof is, don't you?

Casey Jones: Pushy sidekick.

Casey Jones: [as April is driving recklessly] Can't this piece of junk go any faster?

April O'Neil: You wanna drive?

Casey Jones: I would as a matter of fact!

Karai: [to her ninja, as April and Casey still argue while leading the monster through the streets] You think they would be more concerned about the 13th monster.

Casey Jones: [after seeing one of the monsters] You do realize that all I've got is a wooden baseball bat, right?

Casey Jones: [to April, as they climb out of the over turned van] Nice parallel parking. Next time, I'm driving!

Splinter: There must have been a battle.

Casey Jones: I knew it, I'm missing all the fun.

Casey Jones: Bet you guys feel lucky to be going back, right?

Benkei: We're lucky. We're going back.

Guards in unison: Not!

[slap high fives]

Casey Jones: This is really gonna screw up history.

Casey Jones: Hey, guys! So, when do we get together and bust some skulls?

Leonardo: Hang on, Casey, you're not gonna be doing any head breaking this time, pal, sorry.

Casey Jones: What was that? You wanna run that by me again?

Raphael: We need someone to remain here to make sure the time bandit here doesn't get out of hand.

Casey Jones: Gotcha.

Casey Jones: Enough of this camaraderie. When do we get to bust some skulls?

Casey Jones: What do you say we get together and bust some skulls?

Casey Jones: [leaning on baseball bat, to Raphael] Hey Raph, how'd your brain implant go, good?