Death Quotes in Last Action Hero (1993)

Death: I don't do fiction. Not my field.

Death: [to Danny] You're very brave. But also not very bright. If I were you, I'd be looking for the other half of the ticket.

Death: [looking down at a wounded Jack Slater] I was only curious, he's not on any of my lists.

Death: [turns to Danny] but *you* are... Daniel.

Danny Madigan: Now?

Death: No, you die a grandfather...

Death: Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me!

Buddy: Who are you?

Death: Death,

Buddy: Cool!

Death: You have failed me for the last... nice shoes!

Death: [sitting at the controls of a tower monster] I do like to dress up when I come down town. So, how was she?

[meaning Julie]

Stu Miley: [standing on the monster's right hand] She was... she was beautiful. Of course I was decomposing at the time but... at least now she knows how much I love her.

Monkeybone: [looking nervous] Uh, excuse me, Death... I hate to break up this little love test, but my little bladder is about to burst.

[Death pulls a lever, and the hand Monkeybone is on swings over Stu]

Monkeybone: [screams] BUT I'VE *REALLY* GOTTA GO!

[the hand covers Stu, then rises off him revealing Monkeybone has disappeared]

Stu Miley: [feeling his head] Where, where's Monkeybone?

Death: Back in your head where he belongs. I don't wanna hurt your feelings Stu, but on your own you're a tad vinilla, so I didn't want to send you back without him.

Stu Miley: [surprised] You're wha... did you? You're sending my *back*?

Death: [sure] Yes. I'm sending you back.

Stu Miley: Thank you. Death...

Death: I like you. I'll take the South Park guys instead I hear they're dying to meet me.

[chuckles]

Death: Come on Stu. Turn round.

Stu Miley: [turns around] Like this?

Death: Yeah, uh-huh.

[looks up]

Death: Stu, little higher.

[Stu steps higher up the palm, and the other hand comes up behind him]

Death: See ya!

[the finger springs off the the thumb, sending Stu back]

Death: They all succumb to my prowess. The poor, the weak; the rich, the powerful. Everybody bows before me. I offer you one last chance.

Crow: I don't want my work to be lost forever. My work is eternal. I want that eternity. I want to be sure my words will survive me, that they will be never lost in time.

Death: That, my friend, NEVERMORE!

Death: You have devoted so many pages to my name, caressing my face with your poems, kissing my lips with your prose. All veiled love letters addressed to me. You fear me and yet you are insatiably attracted. Come with me. It's time.

Crow: No, it cannot be. I don't want to be forgotten. I was buried in a common grave. My writings were forgotten for years.

Death: You are already dead. How could you remember your own death...

Death: unless you have succumbed to my embrace? Your life is not worth living anymore. It is time to meet your own ghosts, the people you loved and lost forever.

Death: Come now, Poe. You love me! You've been a corpse walking amongst the living for a long time, Edgar. It must have been quite a strain.

Crow: Maybe you're right.

Death: You're an interesting young man. We'll meet again.

Young Boris: Don't bother.

Death: It's no bother.

Death: Stop killing the dead. They're mine. If you don't want the dead coming back to life, why don't you just kill the living? Shoot them in the head. Are you listening to me?

[last lines]

Death: I have seen a great many things. I have attended all the world's worst disasters, and worked for the greatest of villains. And I've seen the greatest wonders. But it's still like I said it was: no one lives forever.

Death: When I finally came for Liesel, I took selfish pleasure in the knowledge that she had lived her ninety years so wisely. By then her stories had touched many souls, some of whom I came to know in passing. Max, whose friendship lasted almost as long as Liesel. Almost. In her final thoughts, she saw the long list of lives that merged with hers. Her three children, her grandchildren, her husband. Among them, lit like lanterns, were Hans and Rosa, her brother, and the boy whose hair remained the color of lemons forever.

Death: I wanted to tell the book thief she was one of the few souls that made me wonder what it was to live. But in the end there were no words. Only peace. The only truth I truly know is that I am haunted by humans.

Death: In my job, I'm always seeing humans at their best, and their worst. I see their ugliness, and their beauty. And I wonder how the same thing can be both.

Death: The bombs were falling thicker now. It's probably fair to say that no one was able to serve the Führer as loyally as me.

Antonius Block: I want knowledge! Not faith, not assumptions, but knowledge. I want God to stretch out His hand, uncover His face and speak to me.

Death: But He remains silent.

Antonius Block: I call out to Him in the darkness. But it's as if no one was there.

Death: Perhaps there isn't anyone.

Antonius Block: Then life is a preposterous horror. No man can live faced with Death, knowing everything's nothingness.

Death: Most people think neither of death nor nothingness.

Antonius Block: But one day you stand at the edge of life and face darkness.

Death: That day.

Antonius Block: I understand what you mean.

Antonius Block: Who are you?

Death: I am Death.

Antonius Block: Have you come for me?

Death: I have long walked by your side.

Antonius Block: So I have noticed.

Death: Are you ready?

Antonius Block: My body is ready, but I am not.

[Antonius Block lets Death choose which chess pieces to play]

Antonius Block: You drew black.

Death: Appropriate, don't you think?

Death: When next we meet, the hour will strike for you and your friends.

Antonius Block: And will you reveal your secrets?

Death: I have no secrets.

Antonius Block: So do you know nothing?

Death: I am unknowing.

Death: Ingenting undgår mig. Ingen undgår mig.

Antonius Block: Nothing escapes you!

Death: Nothing escapes me. No one escapes me.

Death: Don't you ever stop asking?

Antonius Block: No. I never stop.

Death: But you're not getting an answer.

[Death approaches Antonius Block]

Antonius Block: Wait a moment.

Death: You all say that. But I grant no reprieves.

[Jonas Skat is in a tree which Death is cutting down]

Jonas Skat: Hey, you scurvy knave, what are you doing with my tree? You might at least answer. Who are you?

Death: I'm felling your tree. Your time is up.

Jonas Skat: You can't. I haven't time.

Death: So you haven't time?

Jonas Skat: No. My performance...

Death: Cancelled... because of Death.

Death: I bound myself to life, and with it, to the little rules by which it is lived. And now I must bow to it. What a monstrous comedy!

Grazia: Who are you?

Death: Sirki.

Grazia: I don't mean that. You seem to come from a distant place. When I'm with you, I see depths in your eyes that are like the worlds I visit in sleep. And beneath your words is a sound I've heard in dreams. When you leave me, the light goes from the sky. You're like the mystery that's just beyond sight and sound. Always just beyond my reach. Something that draws and... frightens.

Death: There is something about me that men fear and that makes them cling to their existence. I must find out what it is.

Death: Love is greater than illusion, and as strong as death!

Death: I am - how shall I pursue it - a sort of vagabond of space. I am the point of contact between time and eternity.

Death: My holiday is just caprice - a mad joke that I play on life. But what a monstrous, what a sublime joke! I, Death, do hereby take on the World, the Flesh, and the Devil!

Death: Perhaps you can tell me what I have been doing.

Grazia: I think I can, almost.

Death: Tell me.

Grazia: I think you've been holding life in your hands, as I do some times. I think you've been a little afraid of its beauty.

Death: Oh, you do know.

Death: I shall feel blood flowing in my veins, the warm blood of life. I shall know what you know, feel what you feel! My hunger shall be appeased for an hour... my hunger that is as old as time - and those I love can feel they are not afraid... not afraid... NOT AFRAID!

Baron Cesarea: [hearing that someone has just narrowly escaped death] Well, it just wasn't time for the Old Man to take him.

Death: [as Prince Sirki]

[offended]

Death: I beg your pardon! The Old Man?

[realizing the humor in the remark]

Death: [as Prince Sirki] Ah yes... the Old Man!

Death: Can you conceive how lonely I am - when there is nothing that doesn't shrink from me?

Death: Now suddenly I know for the first time that men bear a dream within them, a dream that lifts them above their dust... and their little days.

Death: I wish that we may never meet when you are less beautiful, and I must be less kind.

Death: [as Prince Sirki] Do not worry, my friend. Your sacred privilege of blowing each other to bits is still safe.

Death: Grazia - my little love - it was NOT a jest!

Duke Lambert: Why do you do this?

Death: For a number of reasons. For one thing, to discover why men fear me as they do.

Duke Lambert: Don't you know?

Death: How should I know? What could terror mean to me, who have nothing to fear?

Death: He said that you stopped him for no reason.

Kenji: No reason? No, I saw him in my dreams. And you... Who are you?

Death: I... I am...

Young Arab: Chukhram.

Death: He also wants to thank you.

Kenji: Thank me? For what?

Death: He's been running all his life. He must have been tired. We must go.

Kenji: Wait wait wait. I don't get it, okay?

Death: [smirking] How do you want me to disappear?

Kenji: What?

Death: Never mind. I'll see you.

[gives Kenji a kiss on the cheek]

White Soldier: You okay, madame?

Death: Me?

White Soldier: Something bothering you?

Death: You know why I like young people?

White Soldier: Because they're young?

Death: Because it's such a challenge. There's such a strong will to resist me. I mean some of them pretend I don't even exist for them. So I wait patiently for time to pass. Usually they give in and embrace me.

White Soldier: Unless there's a war or a plague or something.

Death: Exactly. Still I feel heartbroken taking away the young ones. I mean, they make such beautiful plans for their lives you know? They're always asking me, who gets to decide who stays longer and who has to go, but... that's not my business.

White Soldier: Wow... touching. You're not the heartless bitch I thought you were.

Kenji: [is awoken by Death] No...

Death: Yes.

Kenji: So this is it. You're here finally for me now.

Death: You know who I am? You're not afraid of me?

Kenji: Can you come back a little later? I need some more sleep.

Death: I came here to tell you that I've got to pick you up tonight.

Kenji: Tonight...

Death: Nine p.m. sharp.

Death: Don't even think of trying to escape me, that is a game you will never win. So just enjoy it while you can. I didn't have to do this. I mean I could have just have come tonight to pick you up, nine pm, and you would have been really sorry for yourself because you wouldn't be able to do anything. By telling you now it's as though I've given you 12 free hours. So go out and live a little. Do whatever you've always wanted to do, because it's not gonna come back.

[kisses Kenji on the lips]

Death: I'll see you tonight.

[first lines]

Death: For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten. Also their love, and their hatred, and their envy, is now perished; neither have they any more a portion for ever in any thing that is done under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:5,6