Ovens quotes:

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Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt! -- Robin Williams
Women are like ovens. We need 5 to 15 minutes to heat up. -- Sandra Bullock
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. -- Steven Wright
Russian vodka is OK if you need to clean the oven. For drinking, it must henceforth be Polish. -- Hugh Laurie
I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it. -- Lesley Boone
My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality. -- Tracy Morgan
But I will place this carefully fed pig Within the crackling oven; and, I pray, What nicer dish can e'er be given to man. -- Aeschylus
We've got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden - a luxury, I know, but it's one of the best investments I've ever made. -- Gwyneth Paltrow
Pre-heat the oven? Really? If I was the sort of person who planned ahead, I wouldn't be eating this Totino's Party Pizza in the first place. -- Adam Peterson
Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and one foot in an ice bucket. According to the percentage people, you should be perfectly comfortable. -- Bobby Bragan
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven. -- Erma Bombeck
A cake is a very good test of an oven: if it browns too much on one side and not on the other, it's not your fault - you need to have your oven checked. -- Delia Smith
One fine day as my mother was putting the bread in the oven, I went up to her and taking her by her flour-smeared elbow I said to her, Mama I want to be a painter. -- Marc Chagall
I love roasting because you can give it love, get it in the oven and go and play with the kids or whatever you've got to do, and then hours later you've got a lovely dinner. -- Jamie Oliver
If I survive, I will spend my whole life at the oven door seeing that no one is denied bread and, so as to give a lesson of charity, especially those who did not bring flour. -- Jose Marti
My favorite comfort food would have be braised beef. You know, beef, slow-cooked in a Dutch oven or in a slow cooker until it falls apart with simple mushrooms, some onions and lots of fresh thyme and garlic. -- Tyler Florence
If you remember nothing else, remember this: Inspiration from outside one's self is like the heat in an oven. It makes passable Bath buns. But inspiration from within is like a volcano: It changes the face of the world. -- Alan Bradley
If you really love stuffing, wait until the turkey comes out of the oven, add some of the pan drippings to the stuffing, and bake it in a dish. That's called dressing, and that's not evil - stuffing is, though. -- Alton Brown
I am no theologian. I would not be surprised, however, if Heaven proved to be a cozy kitchen, where delicious treats appeared in the oven and in the refrigerator whenever you wanted them, and where the cupboards were full of good books. -- Dean Koontz
Basting is evil. Basting does nothing for the meat. Why? Skin. Skin is designed to keep stuff out of the bird, so basting just lets heat out of the oven. That means the turkey will take longer to cook... so don't touch that door! -- Alton Brown
Households that have lost the soul of cooking from their routines may not know what they are missing: the song of a stir-fry sizzle, the small talk of clinking measuring spoons, the yeasty scent of rising dough, the painting of flavors onto a pizza before it slides into the oven. -- Barbara Kingsolver
The most callous, stupid things were done just because regulations required them...It was not until 1983, for example, that U.S. federal agencies stated that substances known to be caustic irritants such as lye, ammonia, and oven cleaners, did not need to be tested on the eyes of conscious rabbits. -- Peter Singer
The measuring and mixing always smoothed out her thinking processes - nothing was as calming as creaming butter - and when the kitchen was warm from the oven overheating and the smell of baking chocolate, she took final stock of where she'd been and where she was going. Everything was fine. -- Jennifer Crusie
Hell came right along with God, hand in hand. The stink of sulfur swirled in the air of the church, fire burned in the aisles, and brimstone rained out of the rafters. From the evangelist's oven mouth spewed images of a place with pitchforks, and devils, and lakes of fire that burned forever. God had fixed a place like that because he loved us so much. -- Harry Crews
Book burnings. Always the forerunners. Heralds of the stake, the ovens, the mass graves. -- Geraldine Brooks
I'd take a helicopter up and throw microwave ovens down on the Taco Bell. -- Douglas Coupland
You and your oven are capable of great things,Remember, no two ovens are the same. -- Elton John
I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens. -- Rip Taylor
What is the difference between burning and gassing people in ovens and doing it to a whole nation out in the open? -- Norodom Sihanouk
On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves. -- George Carlin
The FDA is now warning people not to eat raw cookie dough this holiday season. Is that how fat we're getting in this country? Our ovens are too slow now? -- Jay Leno
Loaves of bread remind us of sunlight, but when we are inside that orb,we lose interest in building ovens,in millwork and the preparation of fields before the planting. -- Rumi
'Son of Saul' film is extremely emotional; you're watching people walk in, you're watching people die. It centers around a child that goes into the ovens but survives the gassing. -- Bun B
When I visited concentration camps, I was more interested in how people responded to the camps than in the actual places. I watched kids picnicking on the ovens and other people stricken with grief. -- Rachel Whiteread

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