One Liner quotes:

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I can't just say the words, do a lot of one-liners. I love each person I play; I have to be that person. I have to do him true. -- Richard Pryor
Lots of travel, away from home. -- Bob Hope
I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough? -- David Foster Wallace
I've got to watch myself these days. It's too exciting watching anyone else. -- Bob Hope
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. -- Bob Hope
The willingness of America's veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude. -- Jeff Miller
If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it. -- Bob Hope
The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that. -- Robin Williams
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. -- Bob Hope
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. -- Bob Hope
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. -- Peter Kay
I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support. -- Bob Hope
There are certain things that cannot be adequately explained to a virgin either by words or pictures. -- Warren Buffett
The most common one-liner in the Bible is, "Do not be afraid." Someone counted, and it occurs 365 times. -- Richard Rohr
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair. -- Bob Hope
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me. -- Bob Hope
I don't think of any sentence as a "one-liner", but I do pay attention to how people actually speak when they are being funny. Rhythm is key. -- Lorrie Moore
Evangelical agencies with ready funding may have too little depth and vision to cope with the current conflict. God's kingdom is built not on perpetual motion, one-liners, and flashbulbs but on Christ. -- Carl F. H. Henry
I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage. -- Anthony Jeselnik
On this Veterans Day, let us remember the service of our veterans, and let us renew our national promise to fulfill our sacred obligations to our veterans and their families who have sacrificed so much so that we can live free. -- Dan Lipinski
I like showing different types of comedy - showing that I could tell a story, or showing that I could do a one-liner, showing I could do stuff about music - so just trying to be versatile and talking about different topics. -- Hannibal Buress
People are clever, but almost no one ever devises an optimal quip precisely at the needed moment. Therefore, virtually all great one-liners are later inventions - words that people wished they had spouted, but failed to manufacture at the truly opportune instant. -- Stephen Jay Gould
It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current President....Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been....I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him. -- Jack Cafferty
The truth is that Ron is my hero. He's always there for his friends - sometimes belligerently, but there nevertheless. He's also the comic relief in stressful situations; the funny guy with a great one-liner. And no matter how scared he may be, he will put aside his fears to support and protect the people he loves. To me, that represents true courage. -- Rupert Grint
President Reagan's one-liners were terrific. -- Geraldine Ferraro
I became a specialist at comedic one-liners. -- Lauren Hutton
I'm no good at the one-liner thing. It's just not me. -- Jamie Bell
If I write something down, it's normally just a sharp one-liner. -- Courtney Barnett
I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny. -- Philippe Falardeau
A sign to me is a one-liner, a symbol is very complex and my house is a series of symbols. -- Charles Jencks
Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners. -- Arthur Smith
If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative. -- Tim Vine
Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer. -- Robert Orben
I think, with certain characters, you have to listen. Sometimes, listening can be funnier: the thing you don't say is the one-liner. That's the ying to the yang. -- Ray Santiago
I'm slightly obsessed with drag queens and performers. Their quips and their one-liners, their style, their singing... I find it fascinating. And thoroughly entertaining. I'd love to play one. -- Russell Tovey
Winning supporters over can only really be achieved by what you do, not what you say. It's no use just smiling and shaking hands and getting quoted with witty one-liners. -- Randy Lerner
It never felt real to me. I never felt I had complete ownership over Bond. Because you'd have these stupid one-liners - which I loathed - and I always felt phony doing them. -- Pierce Brosnan
When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: 'That's what I should do; I should write one-liners.' And I did. My first album is mostly one-liners. -- Mike Birbiglia
It's not a 24-hour news cycle, it's a 60-second news cycle now, it's instantaneous. It has never been easier to get away with telling lies. It has never been easier to get away with the glib one liner. -- Malcolm Turnbull
Mike Myers as Austin Powers makes me laugh - that was genius - and Daffy Duck makes me laugh, but I like odd behavior. I don't like hip dialogue and one-liners and all that sort of cool, sophomoric comedy. It's just not for me. -- Nicolas Cage
One of the attractions of translating 'Heroes' is that it's not the kind of play that I write. If it had been, I probably wouldn't have wanted to translate it. There are no one-liners. It's much more a truthful comedy than a play of dazzling wit. -- Tom Stoppard
I'm not a confrontational person or comedian. I think we can explore more things if one of us is not fighting with the other. I take it easy. But I do like comedians who are very different from myself: I love dry comics with deadpan one-liners. I look on and think, 'That's amazing; why didn't I think of that?' -- Trevor Noah
No, and in fact I get a bit frustrated, because I'm actually quite good at one-liners, and I've had hundreds of them over the years, and they sink without trace, and I get very frustrated. Every party conference I really work on the speeches, and I always have two or three things I'm quite proud of, and no one ever remembers them. -- Vince Cable
No one-liner can ever be optimal. -- Stephen Jay Gould
I circumnavigate the globe with a one-liner like latitude. -- Ras Kass
The one-liner of this movie [ The Hollars], you've probably heard before: 'A guy goes home to his family and finds out about himself. -- John Krasinski
A One-Liner used at the right time and at the right place will create a greater impact than any story ever told in the world. -- Kabira
A One-Liner used at the right time and at the right place will create a greater impact than any story every told in the world. -- Kabira
I've always felt that a really good joke, a really good one-liner, is a really good line of poetry. It's imagistic, it's compact, there is a rhythm to it. -- Kate Clinton
I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of humor I like. I like the goofy one-liner type stuff. -- Larry the Cable Guy

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